Saga Book 4 (#19-24) NSFW

NSFW:  Smokin' hot spider sex!

"This is the story of how my parents split up" - Hazel

Noooooooooooooo!  I don't think I have ever been more invested in a fictional couple and really, desperately want everything to go well for them than I am for the pairing of Alana and Marko.  Two aliens from either side of a war between their races, Alana is a winged female from the planet Landfall and her husband Marko is a horned male from it's moon Wreath.  They have been locked in a war for a long time and both of them were soldiers. When Marko surrended having become a pacifist he was put in Alana's custody as a P.O.W.  They bonded over the book "A Nighttime Smoke" by W. Ozwald Heist and ended up eloping and had their daughter Hazel at the start of book 1.  As both their sides wish to cover up their relationship, they have been on the run ever since in their wooden spaceship with a ghost babysitter called Izabel and Marko's mum Klara currently travelling with them.  Landfall sent the TV headed Prince Robot IV to track them down.  In turn, Wreath hired a "freelancer" called The Will, who has a giant cat who knows when you are lying, liberated a six year old sex slave he named Sophie from a brothel planet and ended up teaming up with Marko's ex, Gwendolyn.  At the climax of book 3, Alana, Marko, Hazel, Izabel and Klara were hanging out at W. Ozwald Heist's place when Prince Robot IV appeared.  Then Gwendolyn showed up as well demanding Marko heal The Will who had been stabbed by a mind controlled Sophie and who she had fallen for and in the crossfire Heist was killed and Prince Robot IV ended up with amnesia.  The final page revealed a time-skip of nearly two years as Hazel was now a toddler and so their adventures continue as Marko and Alana's relationship gets tested like it has never been before and is as ever wonderfully written by Brian K.Vaughan and drawn by Fiona Staples.

The Robot Princeling is born.

We start with a page showing just the incredibly dilated vagina of Prince Robot IV's wife as her TV headed child starts to emerge.  And ow, I'm told it hurts enough having a human shaped child with a round head.  Giving birth to a cone headed child?  I'd demand a C-section.  I have to assume that the Robot people have much longer pregnancies than others as she was pregnant in the previous book before  time skip confirmed by both how old Hazel is and how old Sophie is now as well.  Although it doesn't feel like Prince Robot IV was gone for that long either, and the scenes with the Robot family aren't flashbacks either.  Sorry for the tangent, it may get explained in a later volume, we shall see.

The Princess is safely delivered of a boy, the midwife calls him Prince Robot IV but the Princess says he won't be that until it is confirmed her husband is dead.  We then get a brief history of the Robot planet which orbits bith Landfall and Wreath and has allied with Landfall.  The planet is run by a royalty and mostly populated by "commoners". We are shown a new character, a janitor cleaning the floor in the palace.  He is then told by the midwife to go in and clean up the mess from the birth.

Then we cut to the two year old Hazel who is bouncing around in a park on a planet called Gardenia, an "ugly planet with gorgeous weather."  Marko is watching over her, his face swathed in bandages to hide his identity.  A Gardenian woman comes up to him and speaks in Wreathian.

Marko: "It's nice to donkey me?"

She apologises saying she is learning the language from self help tapes.  Marko admits he cheats using a translation ring.  He says he is happily married to a soldier from Wreath, "obviously".  He says he thought Gardenia was neutral in the Landfall/Wreath war  She replies that she supports them against "those winged bastards".  At this Marko gets up to leave, before he does she asks if his daughter is the "crazy one" and hands him her card saying she runs a dance studio and maybe Hazel would like to burn off some excess energy there.  Marko says "I'll think about it."

Marko's amazing disguise.

We then join Alana who has got a job working for the "Open Circuit" which is a theatre troupe whose performances are viewed remotely by VR helmet.  She is going by the name "Zipless" and is keeping the fact she is from Landfall a secret.  Someone heckles her performance in a romantic scene and she breaks character and berates him.  Another actor zaps her through the scenery for this.

After the show, the director fires her.  But relents when the set designer - an ex of Oswald Heist - called Yuma says she'll quit as well.  Alana begs saying she has a baby at home. "Then stop acting like one" says the director and gives her one last chance.

Back at the rocket ship, they have acquired a large walrus like creature which is Hazel's pet.  Alana returns home and asks if the hot water is fixed and is aghast at how much the plumber wants to charge them.  She is annoyed when she finds out Marko did the risky thing of taking Hazel to the park, which is hypocritical as she is broadcasting herself everyday albeit in diguise.

Marko: "Can we please fight about this in the morning?"

Before things can escalate, Hazel appears and demands a "squish", which is a hug between the three of them which she is in the middle off.  They oblige telling each other they love them, then we get the bombshell about them splitting up.

Lalalalala can't hear you!

We then join the amnesiac Prince Robot IV who is being graphically sexually serviced in Mama Sun's brothel.  Her assisstant is worried about letting him stay when he is clearly unwell and has a new child back home.

Mama Sun: "Nothing drives a man to new pussy faster than seeing a kid come out of the old one."

We the  join Marko being woken by Hazel.  Alana is already gone to an early morning tech rehearsal.  After Izabel discorporates due to the sun, Marko picks up the card for the dance studio which reveals the Gardenian woman to be called Ginny.

At the Open Circuit, during a salary related argument, Alana gets zapped out of a window, although she falls safely onto a mattress.  Two of her colleagues walk up saying they are "killing it" today.

Alana: "Not to be a dick, but can we please stop using battle terminology to describe us playing make-beleive?  There's an actual war happening right now."

The others speculate on her military experience, maybe she was a conscript or maybe she was a freelancer.  Alana deflects them saying "we're not soldiers, we're entertainers."  Yuma then appears and says no, "we're drug dealers."

So cynical Yuma.

She says that the Open Circuit is a pacification tool.  Alana replies that the good shows changed how she thought about things like poverty.  Yuma responds that she didn't actually go out and do anything about it did she?

Yuma: "Some art might have the power to change people, but the Circuit can only ever change the way we feel, and never for very long".

Alana asks why she is still there is she feels this way.  Yuma gleefully replies "because I adore drugs".  Ozwald tried to change the world with his words and it just got him killed.  She thinks it's better to make people blissed out, even if it is only temporary.

She is high right now and so are half the troupe.  Alana demands some drugs too and Yuma gives her a dose of something called "Fadeaway" which Alana consumes and immediately starts tripping on.

Alana on drugs.

Back with Marko, he is at the dance studio with Hazel and Ginny.  They chat and Ginny reveals that her husband is on the road most of the year working construction.  Then Hazel points at her and says "her is ugly".  Marko scolds her and apologises to Ginny saying they really have been trying to get Hazel comfortable with diversity.  Ginny is offended and asks Marko to dance with her.  He initially refuses, then agrees and when she asks his name he says he is called "Barr" (his dead father's name).

On the Robot planet, the Princess is sitting with her baby.  The janitor appears and reveals a sword concealed in his mop.  Terrified she begs him not to harm her son.  He sits down and says he would never harm a child, because he was a father once.  But his son got diarrhea and as a commoner he wasn't covered by insurance and so his son was not treated and died horribly.  The Princess apologises to him, but he rams the sword through her face killing her.  He takes the baby and tells him his name is "Dengo".

Dengo is a prick.

Dengo: "You have a very, very important job.  You're going to help every last child in the Robot Kingdom regardless of bloodline... a future king deserves more than allies.  He needs an audience."

Back with Alana, she is complaining about having to shill a crappy breakfast cereal in the show.  She chomps down some more Fadeaway.

Hazel: "Mom never talked about this stage of her life much.  She'd just say that kids don't need to know everything about their parents.  But sooner or later we all find out anyway."

Marko is round at Ginny's house along with Hazel and the walrus thing which is called "Friendo" and the are playing with Ginny's daughter "Ecca".

Hand off him Ginny.

Ginny asks if Marko's wife fought against "the wings" with him.  But Marko stays silent and looks uncomfortable.  He tells her that "Alexis" is working for the Open Circuit, he doesn't see her much and she doesn't tell him about her work either.  Ginny puts a hand on his knee and says:

Ginny: "A healthy marriage needs a few secrets right?"

Before things can get more unfortable for Marko, Hazel wets herself.  So Ginny won't see her strapped down wings, Marko takes her home, but says he'll be back tommorrow at the dance studio.

Hazel: "From the moment it is formed, a family is always under attack.  The trick is figuring out which threats to deal with first."

We then join a blood soaked Dengo with the Princeling strapped to his chest taking over a ship single handedly.  He kills the last of the crew then changes course, new heading: Gardenia.

On board the wooden rocketship, Klara is still obssessing over Oswald's books.  She hates them but reads them to pay tribute to his memory.  Then Alana arrives home and informs them she has had a raise.  She is still a bit spacey from the Fadeaway.  She goes into the bedroom and Marko grabs her saying "I need you.  Right now".  They make love while Hazel narrates that Alana told her that married sex was the best, and she shouldn't expect fireworks like in Oswald's books from her first sexual experiences.

A fitting end to a reprhensible character.

Then we return to Prince Robot IV who is snapped out of a dream of his wife and child.  He is surprised to be in a brothel and Mama Sun tells him her legal counsel informed her he should be told about the death of his wife and the kidnapping of his son.  When Prince Robot IV asks when his son was born, she says it was twenty-one days ago.  Without saying a word he blasts a hole right through her.  Her assisstant begs him not to kill him saying he can help him get to his ship.  Prince Robot IV says he knows who he needs to go and see, he needs to see his father, King Robot.

Izabel is using her illusion powers to entertain Hazel.  Klara comes in speaking Wreathian which means both translation rings are out of range.  Hazel understands her though saying she's worried about Alana and Marko.

At the Open Circuit a performance is in progress. Alana is fed a line and blanks and improvs a line instead.  The show ends and when they are alone, Yuma yells at her for using a line from one of Oswald's books and that someone might make the connection between her character and her real self.  Alana thinks she is being over cautious.  But one of the audience was the journalist investigating Alana and Marko's story before being warned off by a Freelancer and he does make the connection.

On the Robot planet Prince Robot IV meets with King Robot.  He says he will hunt Dengo down, but the King tells him no, he's already got the Royal Guard looking.  He chews the Prince out for failing to catch the "Landfall traitor" and damaging relations with Landfall because of it.  The King says he's had enough of the Prince's "increasingly hideious behaviour".

King Robot: "You were a good boy once.  We will never know where we went wrong".

He then sends the Prince to his room like he was a small child.  As the Prince leaves he bumps into Landfall Special Agent Gale, back from mopping up the Prince's mess on Sextillion.  He offers the Prince a way to find his boy, because he respected the Princess. He reveals that Landfall has had secret surveillance transponders placed in all the Robot planet's fleet so they can track the ship Dengo stole.

Prince Robot IV back home.

On Gardenia, Alana is dropped off back at the rocketship by a collegue who gives her some more drugs before taking off.  She turns and sees Marko standing behind her.

Marko: "So you do drugs now.  That's new."

Alana makes excuses, saying she does it to get through the "soul crushing job" she does to support them all.  And also, "who the fuck is Ginny?"

Marko says she is just someone teaching Hazel how to dance.  If that's the case, why has he been saying her name in his sleep demands Alana.  Marko deflects saying has she ever done drugs in front of Hazel. "So what if I have?" snaps Alana and Marko hurls the bag of groceries at her.

He is immediately contrite but the damage is done and Alana in a cold fury tells him to get the hell away.  Cringing he runs away, while Klara and Izabel look on shocked and distressed.

A Bad Thing happens.

At the Open Circuit, Dengo arrives and kills an actor and the director when they won't immediately acquiesce to his demand to put him on the Open Circuit because they don't actually physically control the broadcasts.  He points his gun at Yuma who babbles she can't give him airtime, but she can give him something more valuable instead.

With nowhere else to go, Marko goes to Ginny's house.  He explains to her that he had a fight with his wife and really wants to make it up to her.  Ginny invites him in for some tea.

Hazel: "A lot of people who came into my family's life looking like heroes ended up acting more like villains.  I wish I could say the opposite was also true, but that was pretty fucking rare".

Prince Robot IV finds the ship Dengo used and ignores the corpses but finds a dirty nappy which to his relief proves his son is alive.

Yuma meanwhile has totally sold out Marko and Alana to Dengo.  He is disbelieving that the two enemies could have procreated, but Yuma tells him exactly where to find them.  He is still unsure how their "half-breed" child could help his cause if she exists.  Yuma says that if he was able to broadcast the moment he started talking about politics, ninety percent of the audience would switch channels.  But if he talked about sex, especially the idea the war between Landfall and Wreath was a sham because they have been fucking behind the Robot Kingdom's back, that would be revolutionary.  Dengo considers this idea, then shoots her anyway, before deciding it might be worth checking the story out.

Yuma throws Alana and Co. under the bus.

Back with Alana, she tells Izabel that her father used to knock her mother around so she has zero tolerance for that sort of shit.  Izabel drily says one of her parents had the same policy regarding drugs.  Alana sulkily says she has no idea what she went through as a soldier, before Izabel points out that she is in fact dead, and do you know what she dreams about?  Her ex-girlfriend.

They loved each other, her name was "Windy" but she was into one of her planet's super judgemental religions and it eventually caused Izabel to break up with her.  Two days later Izabel stepped on a mine and the last thing she thought of before she died was that she'd never feel Windy's breath on her neck again.

Izabel: "How pathetic is that?  I needed to get blown in half before I realised what a good thing I had?  Yeah life is complicated.  But it's also fucking short."

She turns and goes back to the ship.  Alana takes another dose of Fadeaway.  At Ginny's, she and Marko almost kiss, then Marko spots Hazel's toy doll she dropped at the studio earlier.  He realises he needs to return it.  He tells Ginny she's been a good friend to him and leaves.

On the rocketship Hazel is crying for her doll.  This sets Alana off who cries she just wants things back the way they were.  Then the intruder alarm goes off and Dengo looms in the doorway and grabs Hazel before anyone can stop him.  He starts to justify himself, but Alana just says "Blast off" and the sudden G-force causes Dengo to drop Hazel.  Klara attacks him and they wrestle but Dengo gets the upper hand and holds a gun to her head.

Dengo goes after Hazel.

Back on Gardenia Marko can only stare at the sky in despair.  Then Yuma staggers up to him and says to him "I never knew what a cowards I really was".  Prince Robot IV also comes striding up and says to Marko:

Prince Robot IV: "Fucking of course.  I should have known you were behind all this."

We then return to Oswald Heist's planet, Quietus where the little mole like alien called Ghus is being questioned by female Freelancer The Brand accompanied by her dog Sweet Boy. She shows Ghus a picture of The Will and asks if he came to the planet.  Ghus says he hasn't seen him.  Then he comments that he was hoping she was looking for the people he traded Friendo to.  When he describes them The Brand says to herself, "fuck me, Alana and her 'family' were really here".  She shows Ghus a picture of The Will's ship, Ghus saw that but only a woman with horns came out of it.

Gwendolyn and Sophie.

We then cut to said lady with horns, Gwendolyn.  She is defending the now nearly eight year old Sophie as she checks through some files.  She takes all the guards out and Sophie shows her the file she has found "formula 9763, just like our snitch said."  Then one of the guards gets up and knocks Gwendolyn out, he is about to sexually assault Sophie when Lying Cat appears.  Yay, Lying Cat!

The Brand and Sweet Boy arrive where Gwendolyn parked The Will's ship.  Gwendolyn, Sophie and Lying Cat return and The Brand disarms Gwendolyn while Sweet Boy fires a tranquiliser dart at Lying Cat.  The Brand demands to know why Gwendolyn stabbed her brother. 

The Brand immediately proves to be a cool character.

Sophie says it was her that did it.  The Brand is disbelieving at first but Gwendolyn explains it was an accident, that Sophie was under the influence of a powerful hallucinagen at the time.  Sophie says they are going to fix it as well, they have the formula for a powerful healing exlixir now.  The Brand decides to take some vacation days and help them out but Sophie can't come along.

Gwendolyn says Sophie became her officially sanctioned page last year and they are staying together.  She checks the formula and says one of the ingrediants is "dragon semen" so it looks like they'll be visiting a planet called "Demimonde".  The Brand says that's where The Stalk came from and we get a lovely and not at all soul scarring image of The Will and The Stalk having sex.

You're welcome.

After briefly checking in with The Will, still in a coma and being groomed by a nurse.  We return to Quietus.  Yuma, who survived her wounds appears to Ghus and asks if he can use his empathic link with his animals to track down Friendo.  When Ghus wants to know why we end on an image of the somewhat battle scarred Prince Robot IV and Marko.

Marko: "Sir, we need your help finding our families".

And that leaves us on another massive cliffhanger.  Brian K Vaughan treads a dangerous path with ease in this volume.  By showing Alana and Marko's relationship  being tested so hard it breaks, he manages to show faults on both sides and show exactly why they are behaving the way they are. When Alana sobs she just wants things back the way they were you must agree with her.  They are imperfect people in a shitty situation who are betrayed by those close to them, something's gotta give.  But I'm glad Marko is shown actively searching for his family and teaming up with Prince Robot IV is another of those odd-couple relationships BKV likes to give us.  With our last image of Alana being her looking on in horror as Dengo holds a gun to her mother-in-law's head, I can't wait to see how that situation is resolved.  Dengo is an interesting character, he's a gigantic asshole who has done reprehensible things but you can see how the loss of his family has utterly broken him. Family is a big theme of this volume, whether it be the dysfunctional professional family of the Open Circuit, Alana and Marko's disintegrating one, Prince Robot IV's lost one, The Brand and her estranged brother or the knight and squire one of Gwendolyn, Sophie and Lying Cat we get families and familial relationships of all types.  And it's these bonds that keep the characters relatable helped no end by Fiona Staples fantastic art and Vaughan's relaxed and colloquial dialogue. Saga continues to be utterly compelling and I am actually dreading the fact I have almost caught up with series now because after volume six is released in July no doubt with another sadistic cliffhanger it'll be a long wait until the next trade.  Join me in a couple of months for volume five.