Alan Moore Obscurities: The Many Worlds Of Tesla Strong (ABC Compilation)

"Talking about cutting it close... here it comes" - Tesla Strong

First off sorry for the sporadic posting this past couple of months, it's been a miserable winter full of health issues but things should be getting back to normal now. This month is going to be another month devoted to the ladies. Either comics headed up by a female character or ensemble pieces with particularly strong and interesting female members.  It's also the last Alan Moore Obscurity as a regular feature on this blog, it won't be going away entirely as I have obscurities to track down still.  But I've pretty much exhausted my own collection, so I choose to end it on a high note as we revisit Alan's unjustly underrated time at America's Best Comics round the turn of the millenium and to the world of Tom Strong. I've covered the first volume of Tom Strong on this blog here, but in a nutshell he's a very strong and long lived "science hero" who inherited his genius intellect from his father and his kindness and empathy from his mother.  They all lived on a south sea island where his father was training him up, but he lost both parents as a young teen and grew up with the native folk after that, before travelling to Millenium City to become its greatest protector.  He married his native sweetheart Dhalua and had a daughter called Tesla Strong, a smart young woman in her own right, and it's her we follow in what was originally a sixty-four page one-shot before being republished in the ABC Compilation and as befits Moore at his best it's boiling over with so many ideas they can barely be kept within the borders of the page.  Adventure!

Narrator: "There are universes without end, so the physicists tell us - an infinite number of Earths, where every possibility gets played out, every fantasy becomes real.  Come with us now as we explore the many worlds of Tesla Strong."

We begin with a boom in in the "Stronghold" of Millenium City.  Tesla scolds Solomon, a gorilla who Tom raised up to human level intelligence and who speaks with the vocal manner of an Edwardian Englishman, for mucking about with a bazooka.  "Well how was I to know the bally thing was loaded?" grumbles Solomon.  Tesla says they have to clean up the mess before her mum and dad get back.

Also present is Pneuman, the ancient robot who was the repository of Tom's father's records and who helped teach Tom as he grew up.  He is always butting heads with Solomon and also gives the gorilla a telling off.  Solomon however has spotted a new thing to mess about with, a floating surfboard that travels to parallel realities.  He accidentally activates it and shoots off through a portal. 

Tesla Strong

It almost immediately reopens but only the surfboard returns and the destination log has been wiped.  So Tesla, who thinks of him as "practically my brother" climbs on to it determined to search every reality there is until she finds him.  And off she goes.

She first arrives on the lip of a huge glowing green crater.  A woman in a hazard suit grabs her, telling her she's a "goober" for flying so close.  She is "Tekla Strong" and hooray it's time for Alan Moore's embaressing made-up slang to make an appearance! Tekla says she could of got "skarked" and they need to get her "hoosed down and soonissimost..."

The hatch she tries to go through a hatch into a building but it's light has blown.  Tekla fumbles with a flare and when she lights it, they are surrounded by lots of small carnivourus beetle-crab things.  Tekla uses the flare to drive them back and they enter the building.  Tesla gets decontaminated, seems the board protected her from the worst of the radiation.

Tesla asks what happened to this world, and Tekla says World War 3 happened, when "Gorby" got shot and "Quayle pushed the freckin' panic button... and so did the Sovs."  Her dad had built this refuge before it happened and so only forty-thousand people remain now on a planet of mutated animals and dead humans.  Tekla says as far as they know only them, some Mormons and the Swiss still survive.

She asks Tesla why she is here and Tesla says she is looking for a gorilla.  Tekla says that's funny, they've just lost their "Archimedes the Atomic Ape."  She thinks he might have opened a warp gate.  They've been trying to find an empty Earth they can move too, but they haven't had any luck yet and can't keep looking for too long at a time due to the power drain.  Tesla says if Solomon isn't here she has to move on and if she finds Archimedes she'll send him back.  And off she goes.

Tesla meets Tekla.

She arrives at her next destination underwater.  Fortunately "Tori Strong" is there, and she's a mermaid.  She helps Tesla to the surface and Tesla explains she is looking for her lost ape.  Tori says she hasn't seen him but her dad could help.  She shouts up to a man in a boat called Winston who supplies them with what they need to take Tesla down to the underwater city beneath.

They swim down and using radios they converse.  Tori tells Tesla the world flooded thirty years ago thanks to global warming.  Her grandad predicted it and started gene splicing experiments which her dad perfected and so everyone who wanted to was turned into mermaids and mermen.   People do still live above in boats and what dry land remains though.

They reach Tori's version of Tom Strong and he tells them that he hasn't seen any alien gorillas but "Poseidon the Sea Monkey disappeared into a freak whirlpool an hour or so ago."  This causes Tesla to ponder:

Tesla: "I wonder if Solomon disappearing set off some kind of quantum monkey wave..."

And that's why we love Alan Moore because he can make things like that sound like casual conversation.  Anyway with no Solomon here she shifts to the next reality.

The art shifts too, to a much more cute style.  This is the world of the rabbit "Warren Strong".  The evil gentleman fox version of Tom Strong's main foe Paul Saveen.  He has Warren's three children Topsy, Turvy and Fluffy-Tail held captive but Tesla easily knocks him out and frees them.  They haven't seen Solomon and they've lost their own gorilla "Mr. Pythagoras".  So once again Tesla moves on.

We cut to Solomon coming to on a sofa.  He is greeted by a fellow gorilla dressed like Napoleon who shows him that the two of them are not alone.  "'Pon my soul" says Solomon, "there's more than a barrel of us."  We're then back with Tesla as she smashes through a bedroom mirror.  A girl with brown curly hair and glasses greets her, then quickly forces Tesla to wear the brown curly wig and glasses she was disguised with revealing that she is "Tesla Terrific".

When a nosy friend pokes her head through the door, Tesla Terrific uses her identical looking other self disguised as her alter-ego "Tara" to prove that she and Tara are different people.  When the nosy friend is shooed off, they chat for a bit and Tesla Terrific mentions "Twyla Strong" from a Earth where virtually everyone is evil.  Ominous.

Two Tesla team-up.

Tesla Terrific takes Tesla to the "Strongbox" where there might be information on what's happened to Solomon and all the other missing apes.  Tesla Terrific can fly, while Tesla follows on the board, because her dad isn't human, he's an alien whose planet was exploded by a wizard who gave him magical powers.  His powers are half atomic, half magic and she inherited them. They come across a giant bronze robot stomping through the streets and both Tesla's team up to take it down.  But after that there is bad news, their ape "Terrifo the Science-Ape" has gone and her parents are off scouring the solar system looking for him.  With no help to be had here, Tesla moves on...

... To the lair of the Spider-Priestess, where "Tes of the Tigers", who is dressed in about as little as you can be without technically being naked is being strung up in a fetish-like manner by said Spider-Priestess who is going to watch as her pet spiders eat Tes.  However Tesla entrance on the board knocks the boobular Priestess out and she cuts Tes of the Tigers free.

Tes burns the web and drives off the spiders.  But she leaves the Priestess who she wants to best in a fair fight.  They clamber out of the basement lair and are greeted by her companion tiger "Rajah".  As Tes cuddles Rajah, Tesla asks if she has seen a strange gorilla but of course not, one has gone missing though although we don't find out its name as Tesla travels on.

Nice tiger.

To the creepiest, grossest artwork I have ever seen and a naked "Tammy Strong".  Which fits because this is the Earth where everyone wears no clothes and holy shit her alt-mum and dad appear naked too and start trying to undress Tesla in the perviest manner possible.  It's only two pages because Tesla rightly makes her escape fast while I scrub my eyes clean from having to witness that and I am not wasting an image insert on it either when you could be seeing nice JH Williams III art instead.  Shudder.  THANKS ALAN MOORE.

Tesla arrives on a world and is faced by a huge Aztec themed version of herself who picks her up in one hand and takes her to a gigantic pyramid.  There is a giant Tom Strong, but he isn't in charge.  The things ruling this world is actually a giant snake called "Quetzalcotal-9", a fractal intelligence that a high tech Aztec race had chained while they expanded their blood thirsty Empire into many realities.  Tom Strong freed Quetzalcoatal-9 from its restraints and now it rules benevolently even trying to ween his people off blood sacrifice although it's concluded they are "addicted to it".

gaint snek!

Quetzalcoatal-9 scans Tesla and recognises her as blood kin to Tom and asks if he is in any need of help?  Tesla explains what has happened and it examines her board.  It repairs it so the it now displays the destinations visited and she can now track Solomon down.  Delighted, before she leaves she asks Quetzacoatal-9 if it has any empty Earths in its empire?  For some friends of hers stuck on the irradiated Earth. It says that sounds like something which would suit its purpose for an experiment it has been planning, "return, and we shall speak more of this."

So Tesla finally arrives on the correct Earth but is immediately gassed and knocked out.  We then pull back to reveal that it was the evil counterparts of Tom, Solomon and Tesla that Tesla Terrific mentioned.  Evil Tom, "Tiberius Strong" wanted to destroy all his counterparts starting with Tom Strong but all he's been given "is several dozen monkeys and Strong's whelp".  Solomon's counterpart "Nero" says he's been having a hard time calculating all the quantum stuff.  "Twyla" meanwhile wants Tesla to herself "I just want to play with her".

Back on Tesla's Earth Tom and Dhalua return from their trip.  When Pneuman explains what happened Tom calmly says he is going to his workshop to build another "Searchboard" to find her. Meanwhile on Earth Evil, Twyla has Tesla in chains and is threatening her with a hot poker.   She says that they had tried to lure her dad there when they had last visited by programming his Searchboard to bring him here, but Solomon used it instead.

Earth Evil, Tiberious, Nero and Twyla.

Then they thought that they would capture him when he came looking for Solomon, but Tesla arrived instead.  So they just decided to send the board back with a "nice big bomb on board".  It's too late to stop it, it's already gone, so she is going to leave Tesla to stew on that for a few hours then it'll be hot poker time.

Tesla begins to cry mumbling that it's all her fault.  Then suddenly Paul Saveen's double appears from a secret passage and of course in this universe he's the good guy called "Peter Saveen".

Peter: "Gentleman adventurer and occasional science hero at your service.  Now then let's see if we can get you out of those chains.... which are most unbecoming".

He frees her from her bonds and they escape.  He asks her why she is crying and she tells him what has happened.  He says that there is a chance thanks to the "evil genius of Professor Parallax we have all the time in the world."

Outside they meet "Ilsa Weiss" the good counterpart of Ingrid Weiss, the Nazi who raped Tom and had his son who she indoctrinated into Nazism.  Here though the son does exist, also good from a "moment of weakness" with Tiberius.  "Alois" greets Tesla politely saying she is much prettier than Twyla.  Here the Nazis were the good guys who saved millions, "it was a tragedy we were defeated".  Errr. 

OK moving hurridly on.  The good-bad guys make their move to foil the bad-good guys, first by going to the abandoned typewriter factory where all the apes are being kept enclosed by a forcefield.  Ingrid will be dealing with taking down the forcefield while Peter and Tesla strap on their portable time machines and warp back in time to just a few moments after she first arrived.

The run to where Tesla can see her unconcious self being taken off to the dungeon. They have a whispered conversation about how this can be happening.  Tesla says it's impossible to exist in the same place at the same time, but Peter says "well, you're not are you? She's way over there."  This gives Tesla time to travel via a second searchboard Peter had built and return in time to stop the bomb.  She'll be returning for Solomon though and Peter says she won't want to miss the revolution they have put into action.

A nice family outing.

Tesla arrives back and whoaaa!  Look at the chin on Tom.  Anyway he tells her she has some explaining to do but she tells him about the bomb and she also has the coordinates they can use to deflect it where it won't harm anyone.  It gets deflected to Tekla's ruined world, as it explodes in the air Tekla testily grumbles that are they at war with the Mormons now?

"One long story later", Tom has been filled in on what's been going on.  They both get on their surf boards, Tom's new one is a double one so Dhalua can come along as well for a family arse-kicking.  And back on Earth Evil the released apes are fighting with Tiberius and Twyla.  Tesla greets Solomon who tells her when they couldn't escape, he and the others wrote a play instead.

Ape Escape!

Tiberius and Tom throw down, Tom demands to know why Tiberius wants him dead and like all Nazis Tiberius is a special snowflake and yells "because I deserve to be unique." Before he can carry on he is stepped on by the enormous "giant Aztec Gorilla."  It doesn't kill Tiberius he's just been crushed into the concrete.  Twyla runs to help but Tesla tackles her calling her "you colossal bitch".  Dhalua scolds her language while Tesla knocks Twyla out.  Nero offers Tiberius a gun but before he can fire, Quetzecoatal-9 appears looking for its lost ape and shocks them both unconcious.

Tom thanks it for its help, then Tesla introduces Ilsa and Peter to Tom.  Alois says he wants to be a hero like Tom when he grows up.  Looking on Dhalua growls to Tesla, "Okay.  We've done the polite bit. Now get that hussy and her brat away from your father."   Tom asks Peter if anything can be done to stop Tiberius and Twyla.  Peter sighs that on this Earth they are more likely to get a medal.  But Tesla has an idea...

We conclude this tale with Tesla and Tom together on the brand new Earth Quetzecoatal-9 had found for the people of the irradiated Earth of Tekla Strong.  Tesla says that its going to leave them alone and experiment with free will.  Tekla arrives saying they have finished building a jail where in return they are going to keep Tiberius, Twyla and Nero captive.

They go to check it out and Tiberius flings Tom's words of kindness back in his face saying he'll come for him one of these days.  "I guess some people, you just can't help" shrugs Tesla.  She and Tom walk together as Tesla says it's time to go to the read through for Solomon's new play.   It's a comedy about bananas "written by a very finite number of monkeys" grins Tom.  Of course, he suggests, they could go for a spin round the multiverse on the double searchboard instead...  Tesla agrees saying they can tell Dhalua and Solomon they got lost.  "Move over" says Tom "It's my turn to drive".  The end.

The End indeed.

Ah this was vintage Moore:  funny, pervy, imaginative, clever, silly and good hearted. I've never been super into the Tom Strong stories when Tom takes centre stage.  I appreciate the pulpy tropes they riff off of but Tom always feels a little bland.  He's a genuinely nice bloke, don't get me wrong, but his daughter has a bit more bite to her while retaining his good natured, high minded ideals. It's amazing how much he manages to cram into 64 pages.  Many worlds, many Tesla's, enough ideas expressed on a few pages that could keep other series going for months with such marvellous images as a huge snake god politely assisting the hero take down evil versions of himself and his ape henchman.  Of course Moore does somewhat fudge why Solomon shifting set off the quantum monkey wave, but pshaw who cares for details, only nerds that's who! When the idea results in a bunch of alternative versions of Solomon sitting around writing a play while they wait to be rescued by a good Nazi, you just have to applaud the audacity in the first place.  Jolly good show Moore.  Sadly I can't actually credit any artist apart from co-creator Chris Sprouse because each universe has a different artist and none are specifically credited to this story.  I recognise JH Williams III I think and maybe Frank Cho but can't say for absolute certain.  So that's a shame, and it means the person responsible for the naked universe goes scott free dammit.

And I may as well say it here when I am looking at something showing Moore at his best, when I was checking the publication dates for the second half of his Supreme run on wikipedia that Moore has effectively retired from comicbook writing now.  Which is a terrible shame, because I really thought that Providence was an amazing return to form and was hoping it would lead to another creative resurgence for him.  Now I know I've ragged on Moore in quite a few of my posts, but it's mainly been his Image/Awesome comics that I've moaned about and I don't think even Moore would disagree with my criticisms of how lazy he got when he thought he'd just pander to his audience rather than challenge them.  Moore is the writer who dragged me into the world of mature American comics, co-created one of DC's greatest characters in working class mage John Constantine, gave me Halo Jones as a heroine to admire and wrote the Watchmen which for all it's become fashionable to reassess it in the years since, genuinely changed the medium for better or for worse in ways that still resonate to this day as well as all the other millions of awesome things he did for ABC with Promethea, Top Ten and yes, the world of Tom Strong.  As I said in the intro this won't be the last time I look at Moore's work, there are still some short minis and one-shots that need tracking down and compilig in a couple of posts, but well for now enjoy your retirement good sir.  You've earned it.