Constantine The Hellblazer Book 2: The Art Of The Deal (#7-13)

"All the magic in the world, and fooling your audience is stil the greatest trick" - John Constantine

Time to return to that year long period between the New 52 and The DC Rebirth known as the DCYou.  This is the second and final volume of this version of John Constantine, a character with a long history.  He began in the mid eighties as a supporting character in Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing and was created by Moore and artists Steve Bissette and John Totleben.  He gained his own title in the late eighties called "Hellblazer", moving to the Vertigo label when that debuted and this ran for three hundred issues including an acclaimed run by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon.  His New 52 series, "Constantine" and his membership of the "Justice League Dark" was rather less well received and so a full reboot happened with this series, taking the cockney warlock to New York City and as diversity was one of the selling points of the DCYou it also explores his bisexuality too.  In book one he hit it off with a burly restaurant owner called Oliver and the first book concluded with him inviting Oliver in for the night.  Book 2 picks up the following morning as John reflects on relationships and the trouble they always bring. Written by Ming Doyle and James Tynion IV.  Art by Riley Rossmo, Travel Foreman, Eryk Donovan, Brian Level and Joseph Silver.

We begin with a couple canoodling in a park, unfortunately this brings them to the attention of some crazed nymphs who rip the couple to bits leaving their bloody entrails hanging from the trees.  We then cut to John, sitting on the floor in boxers and a shirt observing Oliver sleeping on the bed.  He admits to himself that he might have made a terrible mistake, "but I'm having trouble denying myself here."

Romantic, but foreboding as well.

Oliver wakes up and John says he's brave hanging about, John is dangerous and he should be wary of him.  Oliver says he just wants breakfast.  John says he's the cook, whip something up. "You only want me for my brioche" says Oliver.  John starts listening to a message on his answering machine, which is from someone called "Papa".  Oliver asks if the person is from Trinidad, but John quickly turns the machine off saying it's a wrong number.

Oliver goes for a shower while John thinks that he should be terrified and wanting to run away, "nothing about this adds up."  Then Oliver calls him into the bathroom, there are plant tendrils everywhere.  John tells Oliver to skip the shower while John takes care of this.  But before Oliver can leave, Swamp Thing - the plant elemental, manifests in the bathroom.  He dismisses John's annoyance at his appearance and tells him young people are dying horrible deaths.

Swamp Thing: "Something is upsetting the Green, all the Green in New York.  More than usual.  More than can be suffered.  It is calamitious."

Oliver decides this is his cue to leave.  John says it's for the best but he'll call tonight.   Oliver leaves and Swamp Thing asks if he is interrupting anything?  John says yes, but nevermind. He wants to know the details.

Swamp Thing tells him that in the past month fourteen couples have been found in Central Park, "ripped and rended to the bone."  One person has survived. She claims the trees came to life and thrashed her partner to bits, before returning to being trees as beautiful as before. "They were only trees. But they'd eaten a man" says Swamp Thing.  The Green that connects all plant life on earth is not actively malicious, trees alone do not eat people.

John says he can think of a few ways this could happen but ot would require a place with a lot of raw magic and New York isn't that spot.  Swamp Thing says the Green is closed to him here, in Central Park he feels nothing and cannot enter it.  He wants John to "spread my essence through the park so I can take back control."  John asks if he was Swamp Things first choice as a "go-to gardener".  Swamp Thing admits he wasn't and he wouldn't have come to him if it could have been avoided.  His methods are too unorthodox "and your a bit of an asshole".  He then asks if they had to take the subway as the rest of the people in the carriage take pictures of them.  John says it's good PR.

You meet allsorts on the subway.

They stand just outside Central Park as John pulls buds from Swamp Thing's back.   Swamp Thing says if he was to try and set foot in there right now, he'd wither away.  The buds will reconnect him with the Green once inside.  John sets off while     Swamp Thing waits.  While John wanders round the park with the buds he reflects on his relationship with Swamp Thing, he's an incredibly powerful plant elemental with the personality of a dead human called Alec Holland.  He's the Guardian of the Green now and John admits he's let him down a few times.

After spreading someone out he calls Swamp Thing through one of the buds.  Swamp Thing says he has a tenuous foothold but something is trying to force him out.  He can break through but it will take time, "the creature is close I can feel it."  John then comes across a lesbian couple making out, he says he's the "sex police" and they should get back to art school from whence they came.

The couple run off and a dryad comes out of the shadows.  John tells them he scared her friends off.  Then he sees that she is "tripping high as a kite."  More dryads appear and start growing claws and monstrous faces, John thinks about how human pheromones tends to send the "lovely little buggers into murderous rages".  Once slashs John across the face.  He sees Swamp Thing struggling to grow out of the ground and runs over to him, the dryads in hot pursuit.

Half out of the ground Swamp Thing says he is trying to talk to the Green here but it won't listen.  John tells him to hurry up and find someone they will listen too.  Swamp Thing abandons the half grown body saying he shall return.  To protect himself from the angry nymphs surrounding him, John tosses a lit match onto the ground and some catch fire.  Then Swamp Thing reappears growing up in full, he tells John he found someone they would listen to.

The crazed nypmhs attack

He has summoned the "Great Nypmh Mother" who calms them down.  She tells John and Swamp Thing that it has been a long time since magic was wild and dangerous enough for new nymphs to emerge and the wood to come to life.  With no older nymphs to guide them, they lashed out, but now they will learn peace and she tells John no more of his kind will come to harm.   She says that she can feel it in the air:

Greath Nymph Mother: "This city is rich with powerful energy... some dark force is funneling it in, making it ready for something.  My girls, they are just the beginning.  They are terraforming the city into something new.  If this is your home, you should be gravely concerned."

John just says everyone keeps telling him that.  Is everything OK here?  Swamp Thing says he will commune with the Mother and the young nymphs to make sure they are settled.  He then offers John some advice, "let that human go.  What you're doing is a mistake,  And it will destroy him.  If you care at all, let him go back to his ordinary life."

"That it, then?" asks John, "that's it" says Swamp Thing.  John leaves thinking that he knows Swamp Thing is right much as he hates to hear it.   Every sign he is seeing now points to danger and it seems inevitable that Oliver will get dragged into it.  A world of magic and madness doesn't mix with "a strong, tall drink of normal".  Once home he phones Oliver only to have the phone picked up by Papa Midnight who is holding a sword to Oliver's throat and Oliver is also tied up with occult symbols drawn on him. "I am afraid Oliver is a bit indisposed at the moment.  Might I take a message" he grins evilly.

Oliver, Papa Midnite and Gerald the rooster-snake.

The next chapter begins with a female demon inviting two horned male demons into Club Midnight. She notes their forms flickered for a moment and asks if they are shapeshifters.  One says they have come straight from the City of Dis, thought antlers might impress the "prettiest thing on eight legs up here".   She tells them they should hold their forms for the evening or they'll be thrown out.  One of the antlered men flirts with her which she brushes off with disdain and the two demons carry on into the club.

Inside one tells the other it was easy, but the other grabs him and slams him into the wall and we see now it's Papa Midnite shoving John.  Midnite says John is making a fool of himself and will get them caught. Changing forms as they went through the door was a terrible risk.

John: "First off Papa Midnite, we're playing demons,  Demons are vain.  Did you see the other lot we came in with?  Changed their form about fifteen times in the queue. Second, you give them a flawm something to focus on and they don't see the larger issuem in this case, that two humans just came in wearing intricate glamours."

Midnite tells John not to berate him.  John notes Midnite had done some redecorating, he says a King must take pride in his Kingdom.  John says yeah but thre are new kings about, aren't there?

John and Midnite in disguise.

Johh then thinks back to when he first came to New York years ago.  He was abducted in his sleep by three men with lifeless faces and their mouths sewn shut.  They knocked him out and shoved him in a bag and when he came too he was in a penthouse with Papa Midnite a "deep voice rumbled behind me that everyhing I could see belonged to him".  He told John that for nearly twenty years the magical criminal underworld of New York funneled through this building.  The heart of darkness in New York City all thanks to the man who thought he owned it all. Papa Midnite. But things change.

Two hours ago.  John ha arrived at Oliver's place and is laughing his head off at the fact Papa Midnite has lost everything and is reduced to turning to John for help.  He tells Oliver he'll be alright, Oliver notes that the snake coiled round him has a roosters head.  "Yeah.  It's fun isn't it?" replies John.  Papa Midnite demands John show respect.

But John says that Midnite just told him that he'd wanted to double his money by running his business tax free and his brilliant idea was to trust a "bunch of sketchy businessfolk to run Midnight on paper and now you're surprised they voted you out?"  And that he didn't think for a minute that behind it might be that "ghoulish banker Mr. Rumor" whose been after the building for years.  Midnite has nothing, no power, no nightclub, no money, no army of zombies, "so no I do not resect you.  I am not afraid of you. And I am not going to help you."

Midnite snaps his fingers saying they'll play the game his way then.  The snake/rooster familiar is called Gerald and his bite is extremely venomous, and it bites Oliver hard in the shoulder. The anti-venom exists in the safe in his old penthouse with it is a totem that allows him to regain ful control of his subjects.  John angrily says Oliver is innocent in all this, but Midnite says he made the unwise decision "to believe you are something more than you are." Reluctantly John says he is in, but why is he needed?  Midnite says he needs a man who has broken through defences he often thought unbreakable, so he must do exactly as Midnite says "or you dear little chef friend will die."

Back at Club Midnight, Constantine is doing some gambling to the annoyance of Midnite.  Then a demon-lord called Neron comes in.  Once a minor player after the upheavels in hell of th 80's he negociated and back-stabbed his way to the largest Arch-Dukedom in all of hell.  Popping up on Earth during the the soul trade he quickly became the richest demon around, "he one of the most dangerous beings in existence.  And a real ass hole."

The demon greeter tells him Mr. Rumor is waiting upstairs for him.  Neron uses his fire breath to burn her clean away then says the place needs straightening up if their plan is going to work. John says to Midnite that one of the worst demons in existence owns the club and by helping him he's painting a target on his back the size of the Empire State Building.  Midnite calles him a coward.

John says he can break the rules when he knows the rules and doesn't like no knowing what kind of mess he's walking into.  Why would he want this place he demands to know.  Midnite just says to remember why they are here, there are two roads to the penthouse but the protections he has built are impenetrable.  He launches into a detailed explanation but there is no need to know them because John's plan doesn't require engaging with them.

John's secret way in.

The way that John had broken into Midnite's living quarters seven times in the past five years was that "I took the bloody stairs.  The real ones".  And he slashs open the wall to reveal a set of ordinary stairs that  lead up to the top of the pocket dimension a hundred times larger than what he pays for.  They clamber up, Midnite says these are "base reality? Earth?"  John says yes.  Then he opens the wall where the penthouse is and get straight to the safe.  Midnight tries to stop him, but too late. "What is this?!" scowls John.

They stand before a swirling portal, which Midnite calls a "Hellgate" a portal to the underworld which powers the pocket dimension.   He says he can't let Neron get a hold of it.  John says it's an insanely dangerous item and he can't believe he'd risk everyone's lives with this.  Midnite just tells him they are going through the "pens" and to get his disguise back up.

Back with Oliver and Gerald.  Oliver asks how long he's been a talking rooster thing?  Gerald responds, "how long have you had catastrophic taste in men?"  Oliver says he admits this is a little more than he signed on for.  What kind of man is John?

Gerald: "The very worst kind.  He's killed or ruined everyone he's ever loved. So I hope what you have is casual, though it doesn't look like it, I'll admit".

He goes on to tell Oliver how he sent a little girl's soul to hell and sacrificed his closest friend to a hunger demon (both incidents chronicled in the first storylines of his solo series). Oliver asks why he did that to a little girl?  Gerald says he was trying to save her from a monster but wound up delivering her into the arms of something worse.  And the oldest friend asks Oliver?   The friend had let a displaced hunger demon loose in New York says Gerald and it wanted to eat the whole city.  John fed it his friend to trap it.  Papa Midnite saw it all go down. "Seems like.. he was trying to do.. some good.  And good is tough to get right" says Oliver.

Back with Johna and Midnite in disguise walking quickly through the human pens. John tells Midnite that Mr. Rumor has been buying up pieces of the city for years, every bit of magic he can get his claws on.  And now he not only has a building with an active Hell Portal, he's working for one of the most dangerous demons of all.  It's serious, this last few weeks all the magic of the city os going haywire "and it's all because of the two of them and whatever they're planning".

Here Neron and Mr. Rumor have demons from every corner of hell, "eating out of their hands."  Suddenly a couple of horned demons note that they are both shape-shifters as they queue to speak with Neron.  John compliments the place and the two horned demons say more establishments like this will crop up.  More reasons to make the trip from hell they say.  Mr. Rumor says what they are doing is a game changer to be sure, "isn't that right, Mister Constantine" and he removes the glamours from John and Midnight. "Oh balls" says John.  "Now what?" panics Midnite. "Now we're definitely going to die" says John.

Discovered.

After a brief intro to the DC Hell, we see John and Midnite both stripped to the waist and lashed to two poles with barbed wire. Thw demon torturing John says he can avoid all this pain and suffering if he just makes a deal with it, "give usss your soul.  Give us everything".  John spits in the demon's face, Midnite pleads with him to stop antagonising their captors.  They say they don't mind, they get to do this all day long.

John: "Well isn't that peachy?  But it looks like my soul is still my soul and you're not going to win this little back and forth.  I promise you that."

Neron appears snorts that it forgets how stupid humans can be.   It asks if John has really contemplated the nature of his predicament yet? And it shoves his hand in John chest and rips his heart out. Neron tells him in a long speech that humans suck, the torture will go on for enternity and that he has an evil plan to do something big to New York.

Neron lays out his evil plan.

He tells John that he's given up every trace of his humanity "while scraping and stealing the barest threads of magic."  But if any loser is willing to pay Neron's exhorbitant price they will be able to have real magic.  Humanity will sell their souls in their thousands to him just for a moment when magic is real and "the mysteries of the world are far deeper than they ever imagined."  He's talking about commodifying magic and bringing it to whoever wants it.  New York will become "the centre of infernal commerce" and he will become the richest entity on Earth and in Hell.

He offers John a deal to join him topside and he'll give him magical power like he's never dreamed of and spent his whole life chasing.  It would be decades before he'd set foot in Hell again. John refuses as does the prideful Midnite who can't forgive Neron for stealing his livelihood instead of coming to him directly.   Neron says oh well and lets them rest for the night before the torture begins again and he leaves them.  Both have been taken down off the poles for now and begin to discuss how to escape.

Midnite doesn't think they stand a chance, John tells him to pull himself together or he'll make him suffer.  Then suddenly a flamboyant demon appears to them.  She's called "Blythe" and known to John.  She hands John and Midnite some clothes and as they dress she says that she and John know each other intimately, although he did then banish her down here.   If they want to get out, it's time to make a deal.

Enter Blythe.

She says all the entrances to Earth are currently blocked, Neron's doing.  But she happens to know of a side-path they can exploit.   Her deal is that she doesn't want their souls, she wants out of Hell.   She can show them the way, but he'll have to pull her through.   Johns says, "well.  How can I refuse?"  And off they go.

John keeps making sarky remarks which incites Midnite to say he'll kick his teeth in and Blythe to say she preferred it when he didn't talk.   She leaps on a small demon guarding the way and rips its throat out.  Midnite compliments her "great prowess and grace."  John says he has terrible taste.

They snea past some more demons then find themselves at a statue of an Angel, although it is a real Angel petrified, turned into public art by Neron. At the bottom is a small pool of water that can make even demons tells the truth.   Suddenly two giant hooded demons appear.  Blythe says "oh... we may die here."  But thinking quickly John splashes them with the truth water and asks if they would prefer to eat each other.  They agree and start fighting, leaving John and co. to carry on.

They reach the exit and find a guard posted there.  Midnite decides to try and "glamour him blind" but before he can, John hurls a brick at the demon and knocks him out.  Blythe then takes some of John's blood to draw a sigil, John says to hurry he still have Oliver to free from "Papa's evil clutches."  Midnite however admits he didn't poison Oliver and John is pissed about be tricked into helping Midnite.

John: "Just one more person treating me as a commodity, a resource to trade around?"

Midnite says they can argue about it topside as Blythe finishes the sigil and opens the door.   John says if he goes through it the portal closes right away correct?   Still angry he tells Midnite and Blythe to "go choke on it" and walks through the door alone.

Constantine breaks his deal with Blythe.

Unfortunately this door didn't lead to Earth, instead he finds himself in the realm of the Faeries.  This is not good. Faerieland is considered worse than Hell. A demon told him Hell is Hell but in Faerieland "you lose every piece of yourself.  You think you're in heaven." You have everything you ever wanted and you feel Godly, it is the home of the "wildest magic.  A place shaped by whim and fancy".

John: "Faeries aren't these pleasant little helper Tinkerbell.  They're corrosive beings of pure emotions, who just want to feel everything amazing constantly and forever and humans are their favourite toys."

As John narrates this we see two punkish looking faeries slit the throat of a pegasus and drink its rainbodw covered blood, kissing as it drips on them then smearing it all over themselves in wild joy.

A faerie at play.

Hiding John observes them and narrates that fairy stories weren't fun stories, they were warnings.   He grumbles that he'd knock Blythe back to Hell fora third time if he knew this was where she was sending them.   He knows what she was thinking though, Hell has a bureaucracy but Faerie has no rules, "the only power here is pleasure as those who wield it best call the shots."

The faeries spot him and he tries to run but the plants catch him.  The faerie leader riding a horse asks who he is, he says he is just a traveller and he's keeping his name to himself.  But one grabs his wallet and reveals what it is.  She says she has a deal with Neron and tells the plants to hold him while she goes get Neron.

John whispers to the faerie guarding him, Flutterbee.   He offers him a deal, if he takes him to Earth he can enjoy more pleasure than he ever thought of.   He knows magic that "will make your mind pulse with orgiastic pleasure." Flutterbee agrees to this deal and zaps him back to New York.  But he says he can't feel the pleasure John promised. John breaks his neck and leaves him, although he'll be up and healed in a short while.

John: "Breaking a pact with a faerie has no consequences... but a deal with a demon?  That's gonna bite me on the ass."

He mulls over whether he'll be able to pay the price as he heads to where Oliver is being held.  He can feel Neron's influence in New York already, soon humans will start falling into his trap, "and I won't be one of them."  Talking of Neron, he's giving his army of demons a pep talk. He promises, "that everyone of you is going to have more squirming, screaming, delicious human souls on your plates than you can eat!"

Oliver back with his daughters.

John arrives at where Oliver is being held.  He begs to himself, "please, just... don't let me have gotten him killed".  He opens the door and finds Oliver alive with Gerald still wrapped round him.   Oliver tells Gerald he told him John would come.  John unwraps the magical held snake-rooster and frees Oliver.   Oliver says they'll have a long talks about this later but first he needs to get back to his daughters.  Oliver bids Gerald farewell and Geralds does the same, warning him about John too. 

John asks Oliver is he has a place to stay outside the city?  Oliver says his daughters mother lives in New Jersey.  John says something bad is going down in New York and they all need to get out.   They arrive at Oliver's house and he hugs his young daughters.  One of them asks John "you're daddy's new boyfriend?"  John can't stick around, he has a weak spot for kids because they are so defenceless.

John: "How could I even think it was OK to know someone like Oliver when I could ruin these other innocent lives?"

And he turns to leave. Oliver tries to stop him, he wants him to come to New Jersey with him.  John says his plans changed and did Oliver just blank on twenty-four hours of chicken constrictor fun? He has kids for gods sake.  Oliver says he won't be letting them face that sort of stuff, "and you're dead wrong if you think I'm letting you face all that crap alone."

John says it's his life, he can handle it and he's only know Oliver three months.  Oliver says John does't get it, he wants to get "serious" about him and he can't let him get killed.   John says he'd be endangring his children over a man he's known for a few months.  He says he's not the man he knew if he'd do that to his family.  Oliver says what kind of a man would he be who gave up on someone clearly hurting. John refuses to back down and walks out the door as they continue arguing.  He has the final word advising Oliver to pack up and leave the city and then he is gone.

As he walks away he mull over the fact that he's had relationships turn out much worse and if Oliver does heed his advice he'll be at least one human saved from New York.   He can already see the demons out on the streets. And he has decided to let it be, R.I.P New York "I'm not Batman and you're not my bloody responsibilty.  No more meddling from me."

Uh-oh.

Meanwhile Oliver is getting ready to go out and find John, he's hired a baby sitter at short notice although we don't see her face yet.   He hugs his daughters then says he has to go remind his friend that, "running away never fixes anything". He then departs and as his daughters wave him good bye we see the babysitter is Blythe grinning a psychotic grin.

We cut to John in L.A, feeling guilty about abandoning New York while simultaneously trying to justify himself to himself. He thinks the people here are smug, how they have found all the cheat codes to life..  They form groups and pledge themselves to higher powers to meet the right people. who are better than everyone, "it is the city of Angels after all."

He minds controls a bouncer to let him into an exclusive club and says he's "here to talk to the ratty little pigeon in charge of the place."  And an angel manifests in front of him saying he should chill out and have another drink.  They chat somewhat carefully, the angel says the magic here is closely guarded:

Angel: "Can you imagine if the demons got their hands on the film industry?  The way they could twist people minds?"

He's strengthened the border so New York's cast offs can't enter their domain.  He surprised John made across the county line.  John says he can "break all the rules I want".  But others cannot says the angel.

Snooty L.A. angel.

John tells him what Neron in up to in New York, selling magic and evicting the cities magical commnunity who have nowhere else to go.   The angel just says he will not have L.A's magic sullied by lesser beings.  When John asks where he expects them to go the angel says he hears Portland is nice.  He says he's never seen John like this before, John says "I just want a bloody place to live."

We then cut to him in Orange County talking with a demon called Bartleby who he has done a favour for and is even now.   Bartleby is one of New York's magical refugees. Bartleby says some have been talking about setting up shop here on the outskirts of L.A. "Maybe spend a hundred years or so proving to thise snobby pricks that we're not going to wreck this party" he grumbles.  John gets up to leave but Bartleby notes he still has a "horse in this race don't you?"  John checks his phone, sees Oliver has left him messages and says he is going where he can get the most alcohol for the least money.

He arrives in a bar and orders a drink.  He flirts with the woman sat next to him, but turns out she is being possessed by a D.C. character called "Deadman", the ghost of murdered circus performer Boston Brand, brought back to life by a pagan goddess and able to take over the body of anyone he wants. Deadman tells him things all out of whack back east and "you gotta stop bummin' around and get back to work."

John says he's working on some angles right now then puts his head on the bar and mumbles, "give me time."  Deadman says what Neron is doing is dark stuff and they can't punch their way through, they need a clever bloke like John to sort things out, so will he come back to the "rotten apple?"  John gets up and starts to leave. He says he didn't make the city ripe for takeover, "this isn't on me."

So Deadman grabs John and surfs out of the woman's body into Johns which he can't take over fully but can do so enough to  get him into a cab, to the airport and onto a plan bound for New York where he finally releases his hold on him and moves into the body of the person sat next to him so they can talk properly.

Deadman in John's body both fighting for control.

Deadman says he can tell John really does want to help, "why you pretendin' you don't care what happens in New York?" John says he doesn't care he's helping himself.

Deadman: "Nah, that ain't it.  You do want to help.  But something's scaring you from facing the problem head on.  That's why you ran away an' hid with the refugees in L.A. You knew the angels were a dead end.  What you are Johnnyboy is a bit of a hero.  I'm just confused as to why you ain't acting like it."

John insists he is no hero and casts a spell that zaps Deadman away.  He arrives back in New York and has to stay for a night as there are no flights back to L.A. until tomorrow.  He thinks he won't be in the city long enough to be sucked into the chaos again.  Then he bumps into a drunken Oliver who pleads desperately with him, "they took them, John.  They took my little girls.  They took them to Hell and you're the only one who can get them back."

John ruminates on the nature of the city, how it's alive with a strange twisted soul.   It's a city that wants people to fight for it and now John is going to make a stand:

John: "Not because I care... that's trite.  Let Neron and the demons tear the world apart.  I'll make my own place But they just had to make it personal.  They had to cut deep."

He gently kisses Oliver and goes to try and get his kids back, blaming himself with every step he takes.  "So all right New York.  If it's a fight you want.. I'll show you an good time" he thinks resolutely.

He barges into Papa Midnite's club which is full of demons and also Midnite, he made a deal with Neron to get out of hell and he has everything back, his riches, his club, his zombies, everything.  John calls him a lapdog, but then Neron appears and invites him to sit down.

Neron tells John he is an "insignificant speck on the wall."  He has nothing to offer Neron while Neron has everything.   In one day he's racked up over one hundred thousand souls, "crackling with potential."  Because people in New York are so lively and ambitious the quality of their souls is very high.  John says he just wants two souls, "the daughters of someone very dear to me."

John being tormented.

Neron shows him the girls wreathed in flames and crying that it hurts.  John runs to them but they disappear.  Blythe appears and gloats saying that John shouldn't have broken the deal with her.  But she's made one with Neron as well.  He owes Blythe a "binding debt" now.  And Blythe tells him that means he is not to move and wrest the city from demonkind, he cannot oppose Neron and he cannot exorcise them from this realm, "there.  You're bound to it now and powerless."  And he can give her nothing more valuable than the horror in his face.  Then Neron tells him to piss off out of his club.

John goes to the bar where Oliver is drinking.  He tells Oliver he tried but his hands have been "metaphysically tied."  Oliver pushes him away saying he had thought John needed a friend and some good in his life, but he's a "black hole" he destroys people and makes them worthless.  He walks out saying he's going to figure out something of his own and stay away from John like he should have done before.

Oliver verbally lashes out at John.

Miserably John carries on drinking for a while.  A woman starts flirting with him asking if he's someone important?  He says he's nothing, just a black hole who swallows up good people. Then suddenly he has an epiphany, "no value" he says to himself, "I know how to beat Neron without breaking the command."  Meanwhile Midnite, Neron and Midnite are discussing how they screwed John over. Midnite thinks they should have killed him.

Midnite: "Constantine just has a way of popping up like an unexpected dagger in the back and he's not done.  Not yet."

Elsewhere the ghostly Deadman, plant elemental Swamp Thing and female magician Zatanna are trying to figure out how to save New York.   Swampy says "there is no hope." But then John appears telling them he has a masterplan to deal with this, "it's irredeemably ill-considered, breaks every bloody rule of magic, and we'll probably perish in extra grisly ways, Who's in?"  They look at him dumbstruck.

We then cut to a naked John covered in sigils sitting in the middle of a pentagram with many candles round him. He tapping into the deep, primal magic that gives every city "a real and palpable personality." In magic circles it's considered profane to meddle with it, the only writings about it warn not to do it.  But he doesn't care, rules are stupid and he begins to cast his spell.

John puts his plan in action.

We then cut to Neron arguing with Midnite who has felt something occur. Then a lesser demon runs in and tells Neron something is happening to his souls.  In a rage Neron appears to John who is exhausted and bloody from the ritual. Neron says he was bound by magical pact not to oppose him.   But John says he just tapped into the deep magic of the city and "I just made New York City the most boring city on the face of the Earth."

No ambition, no curiousity, the place has less personality "than a 20-person farming town."  Neron's souls have no value now, both the ones he has and the ones he is cultivating. He's lost his grip on power and how long before a challenger rises up against him. John looks him in the eye and says:

John: "Remember.  You made this personal.  You brought this on yourself.  If you'd played your cards differently, I'd just have sat back and watched the ship go down.  But you just had to gloat, didn't you?"

Then Lady Alexandriel of the Faerie folk appears saying she wants to do business with him.  She'll take the city and all the souls in it and he can have all the souls she got piling up in her domain that he's paid her for safe passage through her domain in the past.

Neron sells New York to the faeries.

Neron agrees to the offer and leaves, threatening John with retribution later.  John tells Lady Alexandria that New York will be back to its old self in a few hours.  She states that a city will be a "marvellous playground."  John then asks for the souls of Oliver's kids and she agrees, while also ruminating that the city's magic users should be coming back soon.  They won't want to miss the party.

John goes back to the bar to tell Oliver the good news, while patting himself on the back mentally for fooling Neron.  But Oliver is grim.  He already made a deal of his own, he puts his girls first no matter what and they are there standing beside him.  Blythe then appears and John shouts "No!"  He tells Oliver he didn't need to do this. but Oliver just says to get them to their mum and then they'll be through.  John covers the girl's eyes as Blythe burns Oliver dragging him down to Hell.

Oliver sacrifices himself for his kids.

Later after he's dropped them off a depressed John decides he's going to move on to "anywhere but here."  He finds Midnite sitting on a bench.  He laments that he doesn't want to play hero or villain anymore, He's done here.  "And now I just want to be alone" he says.  And as he walk away Midnite says mockingly, "you always will be John. You always will be." The end.

Cue melabcholy theme.. and we're out.

And so this concludes this incarnation of John Constantine and as someone who's been reading his exploits since his first appearence in Swamp Thing I thought these few issues really nailed the character.  He is essentially a very tragic character, lovers and friends have always been casualties of his dealings with taking on the world of magic, demons, faeries and angels.  Oliver was a superb character, I loved how wasn't fazed by Swamp Thing appearing in the shower and how he ended up making friends with his captor Gerald and that he was determined to see the good in John which of course ended up destroying him.  I have to wonder if this series had run longer would Oliver have been spared for a while?  It would have been fun contrasting his down-to-earthness with John's more fantastical existance.  A bit like Nancy in Squirrel Girl.  I'd have loved that.  John still wins out against the forces of evil by always finding the loophole he can exploit and his tricking of Neron by making New York boring (temporarily) was genius.  But as ever he never gets to celebrate his victory because it came at a cost, Oliver's soul.  The art changed from artist to artist fairly smoothly, although my preference is far Riley Rossmo's art in the first few issues and Ming Doyle and James Tynion IV did a fantastic job writing a gripping story of a hellish takeover, using continuity sparingly and really capturing John's "voice" as it were.  Anyway, apologies for the lack of updates this month, blame the cold that would not die.  So Happy Christmas all gentle readers.  There might be a Dragonball post next week if I can tear myself away from my Xbox One!

Constantine The Hellblazer Book 1: Going Down (#1-6)

"The trouble with unfinished business is it always manages to catch up to you doesn't it?" - John Constantine

OK so, Alan Moore is still in the Sin Bin, but we're kicking this month off with a comic that's linked to him so hope that'll do.  Out of all the Vertigo characters who made the move back to the main DCU for the duration of the New 52, none came off worse than English mage John Constantine.  Oh, I know he started out in the mainstream DCU as part of Alan Moore, Steve Bissette and John Totleben's (his creators) Swamp Thing run, hell he even played a role in Crisis On Infinite Earths and met Batman amongst others.  But when his popularity saw him spun off into his own solo title in the late 80's, he only crossed over with Swamp Thing and The Sandman and only then during his first year, after that he didn't interact with the wider DCU at all in his own title and so when he was moved into the Vertigo line in the mid-90's it was where he had always belonged.  Having him rub shoulders again with men and women in spandex costumes, having him be a team player leading his own "Justice League Dark", aging him down to his twenties and the general watering down of his "I'll do what I want and fuck the consequences (to you or me)" ideology just felt wrong after an incredible three hundred issue run of Hellblazer.  His New 52 series was called Constantine and was a fairly aimless hunt for a succession of magical artefacts and crossovers with whichever of the four billion DCU events were going on that month, almost totally lacking both the social commentary, graphic horror and extended casts Hellblazer included. Also they pretty much erased virtually every reference to his bisexuality, Bad Show DC, Bad Show (although I could also be referring to the single season run of his TV series there too).  With the coming of the DCYou this title was cancelled and new title started with a more concerted attempt to honour the legacy of the Hellblazer run with a ramping up of the horror element and greater emphasis again of the terrible personal price John and people close to John pay for his on-going battle against evil.  Do they pull it off?  Does it meet with approval from this owner of the first hundred Hellblazers?  Let's see shall we (Spoilers: Yes it does).

The first few pages is from the Convergence Sneak Peak, and it brilliantly summarises his character.  He meets a girl in a bar, lays on the charm and gets her to open up to him about her misuse of magic, pick-pockets the magical artefact she is using to protect herself from the demons want to claim her soul she promised them and leaves the bar as she starts to get torn apart.  It's fantastic.  Really nails him down perfectly with his "voice" perfectly captured and the art is wonderful too. By the time I turned to to the first page of issue one proper, I felt full of anticipation and excitement for what was to come.  I was not let down.

To be fair, it's New York, she's probably seen weirder.

We begin with John in a clothes shop in New York, naked and soaked in blood.  Good start.

John: "It's not what it looks like (It's exactly what it ****ing looks like.  But that's the trick.  That's always the trick)"

John then uses the power of suggestion to bamboozle the poor assistant into not calling the police and provide him with clean clothes.  He mulls to himself that if you offer people the "nicer option" they'll take it every time.

One of his ghosts appears to scold him.  And it's good old junkie Gary Lester one of the original "Newcastle" group of John's friends (although I don't know if John's horrible failed attempt at an exorcism in Newcastle when he was a young man has happened in this continuity).

As he leaves the shop he lifts a wallet and some (menthol) ciggies from a passerby and more of his ghosts appear.  He tells them to sod off and they all disappear bar Gary.  Gary tries to tell him about Frank (another Newcastle friend), but John isn't in the mood and forces him to leave.

A chance meeting...?

He nips into a diner for some curry and chips and the owner, Oliver a handsome black man, flirts with John who flirts right back.  So John's bisexuality is back too, brilliant.

John: "This is nice.  Chatting.  Flirting.  Interacting with a human, like a human.  No motive but the obvious.  Nice."

Oliver invites John to dinner, but before he can accept, a demoness called Blythe appears and takes him back to her club.  John describes her as "an ex-pat from hell" who even pays her taxes.  They have a quick shag backstage at her club "Inferno" which is based on the Divine Comedy's depiction of hell.  It has nine floors each representing a circle and if a person can make it to the bottom they get a commemorative goblet (and lose their immortal soul.  Details).

She says she needs John because they have a bit of an imp infestation and she can't banish them herself without banishing herself back too.  So she wants John to do it.  They journey down through the nine floors as Blythe tries to probe Johns mind.  At the bottom is the managerial office which contains her "business partner, Haluk".  She actually wants him banished so she can take full control of the business.

John says he wants nothing to do with this betrayal, but his hand is forced when Haluk transforms into a hulking monster and attacks.  John subdues him with some holy water then starts speaking the banishment spell.  But he flubs a line and Blythe steps in to correct him.  Oops, she ends up banishing Haluk and gets dragged down to hell herself.  She curses John as she disappears saying she'll find him when she claws her way back out.

I've often wanted to banish an inadvisable sexual partner to hell too.

We end the first issue with John surrounded by ghosts and Gary tells him someone is killing all John's ghosts, the latest casualty being Frank, and "it's all your fault."

Sat in his apartment, surrounded by ghosts, John explains that ghosts shouldn't be able to die, but obviously they are.  So he plans on luring the ghost killer out by baiting an trap with them.

John: "All I need you to do is trust me.  So, then friends, tell me who's in?"

They all flee apart from Gary.  John testily says that they are supposed to do as he says.  Gary responds, "we're haunting you, you daft idiot, not braiding your hair."

Gary the ghost takes a walk with John.

Gary tells him he needs help and to call someone called "Georgie" in to assist him.  But John says no way.  Gary says John isn't going to listen to reason which means he'll once again lose a little something of himself in the process.

He and John leave and John recalls how he and Gary bonded as eight year olds over porno, later as an adult, he died in John's arms.  "And he's never let me forget it.  None of them do."  They arrive in a dodgy area of New York called "Alphabet City".  John tells us the story of the "Shay House".  Named after a novelist who thought a haunted flat would inspire him, after three months he was discovered by friends to have written three thousand pages of a book in some arcane language with illustrations even though he wasn't an artist.  John says there are loads of places like the Shay House:

John: "Places with arcane power.  Sometimes you can trace it back to a moment in time.  An atrocity so horrible it scars a place for all eternity."

The event might even be in the future, but so appalling it echoes back in time.  He says these are "thin places", they are favourites of his as he "fits right in."

He wanders round several such places looking for somewhere to spring his trap.  He spots Oliver on a subway platform who smiles and waves at him.  Awww.  He visits some purveyors of arcane merchandise and buys up some grisly items.

Mr. Rumor.

Then he has to face "Mister Rumor", a tall and sinister looking being who is concerned about John's tour of several of his master's properties.  John requests access to a thin place practically "bleeding with power".  Mister Rumor sends him to an old factory, now a natural food emporium.

Johns begins setting the trap, painting mystical symbols on the floor and walls.  He thanks Gary for agreeing to trust and help him and reassures him he won't die again.  Gary as the bait is frozen in place, while the other ghosts John gathered up look on.  Suddenly a huge mass of writhing tentacles with a face appears and John is unable to stop it as it spears Gary through the chest "killing" him again.  Then it leaves, Johns trap having failed miserably.

It takes a special person to kill the same person twice.

As Gary fades into oblivion, John says he is so sorry.  Gary says John is just an echo of himself too now, to defeat the creature he'll need to go back to when he was more... and he disappates for good.  Sadly John realises he does need Georgie's help after all and as he stands outside Oliver's diner looking in at the man, he hails a cab.  He tells the cabbie he is going "home" on a flight back to the UK.

Flashback to Manchester, England.  Hey that's where I was born and where all my family live.  Cool city, with a good music scene.  Which is why John is there with his then alive friend Gary who introduces him to Georgina "Georgie" Snow and her friend Veronica Delacroix. In his original incarnation John was part of the original seventies UK punk scene, but now I guess he's part of the general alternative scene, he's too young now even to be into the "Madchester" movement which was a big part of my teens and if he's as young as New 52 Constantine he'd have been too young to be in the Britpop/Britrock scene. Wow, he's gone from Baby Boomer to Millennial.  Damn that makes this Gen X'er feel Old.

After taking a punch in the face lifting some tickets to a concert called "The End Of The World" John starts flirting heavily with Veronica.  This isn't going to end well.  In the Manchester of the present there has been a mass occult killing at an orgy amongst the minor aristoracy and we are introduced to "Georgina Snow. Consulting exorcist to Her Majesty's Secret Service."  With the scene cleared of everyone but her, John strolls in and starts annoying her.

Introducing present day Georgina.

John says a succubus must have been responsible and he couldn't find the beast within a few hours.  Georgina says if he does he'll "blackmail me into solving one of your inane problems?"  John says they made a good team in the past, them, Gary and Veronica.  Then he makes a veiled threat to track Veronica down, so Georgina allows him to go ahead with helping her.  If he flushes the monsters out, she'll kill them.

Back in the past, "The End Of The World" turns out to be a concert by a demonic band.  Veronica and John dance while Georgina looks on in concern:

Georgina: "He won't hurt her, will he?"

Gary: "John? No... he's a good bloke.  I'd trust him with my life and beyond Georgie.  I'd trust him to the end of the world."

In the present John goes succubus hunting, thinking he's tracked it to it's lair, a closed down club called "The Meridian" and calls Georgina and says he "off the sucker for you".  Inside he realises he made a mistake and it's in fact an incubus he's after.  It's sat on a stool playing guitar and introduces himself as the owner of the club, "Meridian".  He says he gradually grew disatisfied with normal feasting and started to create more elaborate meals:

Meridian: "To not only consume your ultimate passions, but sift them through my own hands to form a finer display."

John realises it's gone mad, and it starts trying to consume him.  Before John ends up in real trouble, Georgina swings in an saves him, killing the incubus as well. 

Georgina takes down Meridian.

She reveals she's been "waiting here for hours to see if you were as wretchedly self absorbed as you used to be."  She's pissed off at John because Veronica - the woman she loved - is dead, she couldn't survive John.  A shaken John pleads with her to help him, that Gaz has died for good this time.  Georgina says Gary died five years ago, Veronica died three years ago.  And it's all his fault.  Finally she sends him away with the words "you worthless child."

Back in the past, giddy with the prospect of power, the four of them form a pact to know everything there is to know about magic and the dark arts.  In the present John is still reeeling at the news Veronica is dead:

John: "All my friends really are dead then.  Dead, and I still have no way of keeping their spirits safe.  Keeping them with me.  Maybe... that's for the best."

John and Veronica high on magic.

Chapter four starts with another flashback, this time to John's band "Mucus Membrane" (another Hellblazer shout-out). He admits both he and Veronica were crap singers but the occult energy fueling them makes them think they can do anything:

John: "We were beautiful, the world was ours for the taking and if it had a problem with that, it could go **** itself."

Present day John is in a record shop, blind drunk.  The assisstant tells him he can't drink in there.  John says he do whatever he damn well pleases and compliments the man on his ass as he goes to phone the cops.  Another of his ghosts appears and says they are all still dying, and John did come to England to help them.  John says he's help always turns to shit, "and suddenly dear old John is to blame for every bad thing in the world."

Back in the past, John and Veronica are at a traditional magic show,  John is laughing at how pathetic he thinks it is.  Veronica drags him away and tells him:

Veronica: "John, please listen.  I... I tried to call home.  But they didn't... John.  They don't remember me."

She thinks they are falling to far and too fast into the cracks of the world.  John says they've just scratched the surface.  Veronica says she thinks she needs to stop.  John calls her "boring" and turns his back on her saying "If you're not in, then just get out."

John isn't a very happy drunk.

In the present John returns to the club and barges onto stage, still drunk, he asks the audience if they want to see real magic.  He tells them they want to see just fakery because real magic would shake their belief to the core.  He starts scratching out a sigil on the floor and the ghosts begin to appear.  They are shortly followed by the ghost killer, who destroys all the ghosts while John looks on swigging from a bottle.

Back in the past, a drunk John finds Georgina at her workplace in The Wren library (secert wing) looking for Veronica who he says he wants to know is safe under Georgina's wing.  Georgina tells him she sent her away, she says she is sick of the both of them "treating me as a back-up or second best."  Veronica is so far gone she's hardly part of the world anymore, "either induct her fully or find a magician who can."  Then she tells him to get lost.

In the present a still drunk John recalls that he thought he was a "natural" at magic and didn't play by the rules Georgina lived by.  He wanders back to the Wren library's secret wing.  The Librarian appears and remembers John as the man who stole Georgina's girl and broke her heart.

Librarian: "I'm the Librarian.  I can tell you why.  Why that girl faded, why you couldn't help her and didn't try, why there are forces tearing at and following you.  Why you're losing everything".

John brushes him off.  We take another visit to the past.  Veronica pleads with John to help her, she is virtually intangible now.  She just wants to be normal again.  He says they can be something better, but she says following him lead her to this place, "I'll have to try something else."  In the library in the present, John calls the ghost killer and tells it to take what's left of him.  It enfolds him in it's tentacles, tenderly and groans out "Johhhn".  "Veronica?" says John in return.

Ah a clingy jealous homicidal ex, the second worst kind of ex.

John manages to pull himself together long enough to use an old bracelet of Veronica's to dispell her for now.  He decides to ask Georgina for help again, but time to do some research first.  He returns to the Wren library's secret wing to look for clues on how to deal with Veronica.  The Librarian takes him by surprise again, John says he is looking for information on "phasing through planes, or getting stuck between them maybe?"

The Librarian hands over a book with a dark warning, it's called "Soul Displacement" the book Veronica used to try and become normal again.  Over the next three pages we get a series of flashbacks showing her trying the magic and becoming the monster.  The Libarian explains over the top that because she was already fading, the knowledge can't be applied retroactively, "for them there is no returning from the void.  Not with the soul intact."

Physically she was scattered to an atomic level, mind "stretched to flaying".  But impressions from the spirit's life "may clang and echo with such emotional resonance that they pierce through the nothingness."  That happens when the attachment is either love or hate.  And would require a "rare exorcism" to unmake it.

John puts his case to Georgina.

The Librarian asks if he wishes "a cure?  Or an end?"  When John asks which is better, the Librarian departs saying they are often one and the same, the "difference is on in your intention".  John then approaches Georgina.  He tells her he need her help:

John: "No matter what you think of me, it's a psycho-spectral beast that's breaking magical law.  Sending ghosts to a fate worse than death."

Georgina broods for a moment then agrees to help, just this once.  They drive out to a deserted carpark and John summons the beast who Georgina immediately recognises as Veronica.

She is not amused at John summoning her dead ex-girlfriend.  But when John explains she tried to "displace her soul" Georgina realises just what happened.  John says they both abandoned her, but Georgina says she is going to save her.  She tries, but Veronica flails about and throws her aside. 

John shows her the book Veronica used to displace her soul, Georgina incants from it and then begs Veronica to return to her.  But as she sets the book on fire and it burns up, Veronica's monstrous form falls away and her soul disapates. Georgina is furious.  She could have saved her with more warning:

Georgina: "You came all this way just to trick me into killing someone I loved just so.. so you wouldn't have to live with the guilt?  I'll never forgive you for this."
John: "Well love... that makes two of us."

And he walks away, lighting up a ciggie as he does so.  After that rather heavy introductory arc, John returns to New York for some lighter shenanigans.

A panicking kid bangs on Johns flat door saying she needs help.  The thing in the cellar is back.  It is a huge troll-like demon which grabs her and says he'll eat her.  John the appears and scolds it, and traps it in a Hellraiser style puzzle box.  Then he addresses the kid as "Walter" a former Arch-Duke of hell.  Walter says "Y-you always help fster when it's a nice human kid" as he returns to his normal appearance.  Also he was scared.

Even Arch-Dukes from hell appreciate cats.

John does some naked hanging out in his flat as he catches up with the post.  He suddenly realises he's alone.  Totally alone.  No ghosts.  He drops off and when he wakes up he notices a flyer from Oliver's restaurant and thinks it's funny how the universe seems to want them to shag.  He refuses to contact him though:

John: "The universe needs to get the picture.  Bad things happen when people come into my life.  Particularly nice handsome people with children."
He decides he's going to make some legitimate rent money and checks his "Kregslist" advert online.  "Very handsome exorcist will solve spookiest problems."  He has plenty of people asking for help. His first job is getting rid of a demonic possession of a kid.  Turns out he knows the demon doing the possessing and once it's left the kid, they go out for a quick drink.

Then he deals with face stealing monsters, a dragon and a raccoon.  He's not amused about being called out to deal with the raccoon.  Then he's off helping a girl overwhelmed by demonic pleasure sensory input and shoos some dog eating hooded figures away from a park then removes a poltergiest from a washing machine. 

From the noises it makes I think my washing machines needs exorcising.

Finally he takes a break and chats with a gargoyle called "Bartleby" in Central Park.

Bartleby: "Yer afraid.  Scared of what might happen if you stop and let yourself be alone, forced to deal with the consequences of yer actions."

Bartleby says John must have noticed the increase in magical events in New York and the city has a plan for him, he owes the city to listen to it.  John stalks off saying he doesn't "owe anyone, anything".  Caught up in his thoughts he doesn't see Oliver, who does see him.

The rest of the night is spent in a whirl of exorcisms and demonic pest control.  Finally after a mysterious text summons him to a place but no one meets him, he returns home.  Walter greets him saying he should try some of this food he ordered from a place called Oliver's.  Then Oliver himself appears and says John looks like he's scared he'll open his door and find no one there.  "I've been there myself.  Found the best solution is cold beer and curry."  John gives in and opens the door and they both go inside:

John: "Aw... hell.  I'm curious.  Let's see what the universe has in store for us this time."

Sometimes the Universe wants to see two fit blokes shagging.

End of Book One.  This was bloody fantastic.  I have a dream that maybe John will track down the person pretending to be him during the New 52 and exact some horrible punishment upon him, because this is so much like proper Hellblazer!John it's untrue.  Everything is spot on, the attitude, the smart mouth, the arcane knowledge, the ruthlessness, the not-so-hidden sadness at his core the main creative team of Ming Doyle, Riley Rossmo and James Tynion IV have done a wonderful job of writing one of the DCU's most falliable of characters and still making you like the sonofabitch.  The "scratchy" charcoal artwork suits the horror aspects while still showing the characters emotions fully and the yearning John seems to feel for the normal life he can never go back to comes through pretty clearly in regards to his meetings with Oliver (please don't kill Oliver, even though he's doomed because everyone John falls for ends up dead).  As I said, having him be openly bisexual again is an important step for diversity.  Bisexuals are often the most "invisible" bit of the LGBT grouping and bi-erasure is an insidious and very real thing so more representation always helps. I was really happy with this DCYou take on John Constantine and forsee it will run for ever and ever with the same creative team and lalalalala can't hear you DC Rebirth!  Roll on the next volume.