Harley Quinn Book 2: Power Outage (#9-13, Harley Quinn: Futures End #1, Harley Quinn Invades Comic Con International San Diego Special #1)

"Are you sure I'm a superhero and not a stripper?" - Power Girl

Time for more larks and japes with DC's Deadpool, the pansexual, fourth-wall breaking, kleptomaniac, comedic sociopath, Ms. Harley Quinn.  She started life in Batman: The Animated Series as Harleen Quinzel, the psychiatrist who treated the Joker and fell in love with him before embarking on a life of crime with him.  Now having split from him she is carving out her own quirky path in the DCU as Poison Ivy's casual girlfriend and sort-of hero in her own little corner of the DCU which doesn't seem to involve her being a member of the Suicide Squad like she is elsewhere.  Last volume she inherited a large building in New York's Coney Island which plays host to various weird businesses like a famous killers waxwork exhibit and a burlesque show and their various live-in tenants including building security manager Big Tony.  To pay the taxes on the place she faked some references and is working as a therapist again, she also was a member of a roller derby team but got thrown out for execessive violence.  She was however given a card with contact details for a more underground "Skate Club" which she'll be joining in this volume. She also teamed up with an elderly Jewish special agent called Sy Borgman who reappears in this volume. This volume continues her New 52 storyline with an interruption from the DC line-wide series "Future's End" which sees her teaming up with "Mistah J" (the Joker) again temporarily, but don't be fooled by the cover, he's only in one "what if" story set five years in the future.  This volume also has her teaming up with Power Girl and this is where the Harley Quinn and Power Girl miniseries I covered a few months back fits in too.  Finally there is a Comic Con Special and a Secret Origins chapter which I'll be skimming over.  Writing partnership Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti are on word duty with a variety of artists contributing the pictures. So without further ado, it's Harley time.

The story begins with one of Harley's tenants, Madame Macabre who runs the crime waxwork show visiting her son Mason in prison.  He caused the accidental death of the Mayor's son-in-law in a bar brawl, and so is looking at some serious prison time.  His mum says not to worry and when their visiting time is over, gives him a full on kiss with tongue, which she uses to pass over what looks like a razorblade to him.

My kind of show!

Then we join Harley getting dressed up to take part in the burlesque show which she is doing to fill in for a regular whose been called away. Big Tony gives her a quick history lesson on burlesque, it's like Commedia Del'Arte but with "more va-va-voom".  This show is based around cheesy 50's sci-fi.  She going to be the sexy alien who seduces the astronaut and kills them.

Harley: "So at the end of the show I get to kill the astronaut...? That is soooo cool".

Big Tony: "No Harley.  No one dies.  No one gets hurt.  It's all for show."

Big Tony leaves and Harley admits to Queenie who runs the show she was just teasing him and she does know the difference between reality and make believe.

The show begins and Harley takes the stage dressed as an alien.  Another woman is playing the astronaut.  They both take off their bodysuits to reveal something altogether more skimpy underneath, and times comes for them to kiss.  Harley is unsure, so the other woman whispers that she should pretend she is Harley's boyfriend.  This sends Harley off and she starts ranting about all the crap The Joker did to her.

She tosses the other woman into the crowd and a brawl starts up.  Harley apologise to Queenie them leaps into the fray with glee, although she gets knocked out and wakes up in the back of a cop car in handcuffs.  But instead of taking her to the police station, he takes her to his house.  Inside is loads of Harley Quinn memorabilia and a large guilded cage which he puts her in.

Turns out he's not a cop, he's her biggest fan and his name is Edwin.  He killed an cop and stole his uniform so he could lay hands on her.  Harley asks what's going to happen next.

Edwin: "Well I didn't think this out past getting you here and into the cage. I guess I was hoping I could treat you well enough so you'd fall in love with me and we could live happily ever after."

He gives her some more modest clothing as they chat.  He says he works part-time at a comic store and when the others there dissed Harley he locked them up in a cage in the cellar.  Harley slips out of the cage after a while, saying she could have escaped back in the car but she was curious about him.   She gets him to lie on the couch and starts psycho-analysing him.

One way to deal with stalkers.

She says obsession is about possessing another person and not accepting failure or rejection.  She isn't rejecting him, but she isn't going to feed his obsession either.

Harley: "I want you to check yourself into a special clinic and see a doctor.  You do this for me for a nice lengthy period of time and I will give dating you a shot.  You have my word."

So he ends up being cheerfully carted off in a straitjacket.  She then decides she has unfinished business and finds the three comicbook store works in the cellar.  She takes them to the Brooklyn Bridge and sits them on the guardrail and asks them to repeat what they said about her.   Two of them lie and say they are a big fan of her... assets.  The third rather suicidally she wasn't his type and he wouldn't date her for a million bucks and he gets kicked off the bridge for his trouble.

She then goes home and gets changed, it's time to find out about Skate Club. She drives there and meets up with Sy Borgman and enters a crowded arena where the show is about to start.  Meanwhile back at her building complex, Mason has broken out of prison and is giving Big Tony a hug, he's going to be shacking up with his girlfriend but will still work at the building.

Then we return to Skate Club.  The set-up is that a pair of roller-skaters take each other on in no-holds barred combat using weapons scattered round the arena and people place bets on who will win. After battle between two other women, it's time for Harley to battle. He opponent is a very tall woman called "Maria Monsterella, The Massapeque Murderer".  Harley's former skate team all express sorrow for Harley, "She made me laugh" says one wiping away a tear.

Harley bites off more than she can chew at Skate Club.

Sy tries to change his bet on Harley but it's too late.  The bout begins and Maria kicks Harley clean across the arena, which stuns her.  Then suddenly we find ourselves on an alien planet.  Two aliens are debating how to deal with an attacker who "has the power of the Gods behind her".  They are bad aliens who have been found out by this mystery woman as annihilators of another planet.  They release a huge monster who punches the unseen woman hard and sends her flying through space.  The huge monster then squishes the two who let it out.

Back at Skate Club, Harley is getting a pounding.  Maria is declared the winner, but Harley recovers and using Sy's explosive toothpaste, blows Maria up.  Unfortunately as victory was already declared, she still lost, but at least regained her self respect.  Sy and Harley's skate team go for a late night meal on the boardwalk, then he takes his leave of the women. They bump into Mason (newly escaped from jail) briefly and Harley seems quite taken with him.

The girls decide it's a perfect night for a midnight swim and go skinny dipping.  There is some teasing from Harley pretending to be a shark and there is much merriment.  They get dressed and leave Harley alone as she enjoys the night.  She sees a falling star, which falls on her.  And the mystery woman is revealed as.. Power Girl.  Completely unconcious and at Harley's mercy.

Power Girl makes an entrance.

But before she wakes up, there is an interlude with the Future's End issue.  If you want the details of the event it has a wikipedia article devoted to it.  The premise of this comic is that all comics not directly tied in did a story looking at what possibly might be happening to their characters five years in the future.  And for Harley that means a reunion with ex-boyfriend, The Joker.

After a plane crash, Harley wakes up washed up on the beach of a desert island.  A dog is investigating her and Harley commands it to find her beaver (no it's not rude, she has a stuffed beaver called Phil who she chats with and he chats back).  The dog races off and doesn't come back, Harley sighs and starts building a shelter.  But she does find Phil, now a stripped down skull after a tangle with a shark.  She decides to wear him round her neck so she won't lose him again.

Then suddenly she is surrounded by tribesfolk who lead her to their village and treat her like a queen.  She doesn't know why, but she doesn't let that stop her enjoying the attention.  One who does speak English says it is time to take her to the "God-King" and he leads her to... The Joker.  She flies at him and gives him a huge snog.  Then she punches him saying she thought he was dead.  He commands that the banquet in his honour takes place and he fills in Harley on what happened to him.

A warm reunion.

He makes reference to some noodle incident that he decided to lay low after, he found out about the island and took it over. He says he got them doing "crazy stuff" for a while but even he began to feel "ashamed" and stopped it.  Nah, not really, and turns out the tribe enjoy a good knife fight as much as he does, although the lack of caped crusaders is starting to make him feel bored.

He would get the tribesmen to dress up as various heroes and battle him, but as he says, "it's like moving out of New York and then ordering bagels.  Eventually you crave the real thing".  They are interrupted by the tribe headman saking if they are enjoying their "final meal?"  This takes Harley aback, but The Joker says it's because they are going to get married tonight at sundown.  Harley seems pretty into the idea.

After putting on her somewhat skimpy wedding atire she is taken out to the temple on a litter.  Phil isn't keen on what's happening, he says the Joker keeps treating her like crap and she keeps taking it.  Harley says, "this time it's gonna be different, I can feel it".  She says it'll be a marriage of equals and they'll enrich each others lives.  When Phil says that makes him want to puke, she tosses him to the crocodiles.

The ceremony takes place, but there was just one teeny little detail she and the Joker weren't told.  They are to be sacrificed in the volcano immediately afterwards. The Joker gets angry saying he thought it would just be Harley making the jump.  He says she deserves it for her hanging around with superheroes and that he "hates do-gooders".  She punches him and from an alligator stomach, Phil says "I told ya so."

The happy couple.

They both punch the headsman into the volcano and it starts to erupt.  They share a kiss then get blasted back out.  Harley winds up back on the beach and so does a dead crocodile who just happens to have Phil nesting in its exploded torse.  Harley sighs and picks him up and asks if her "pitifully, perfidious, puddin' made it?"  Phil replies, "does it matter?"  Harley guesses not.  Then Aquaman and says she looks far from home and he and his dolphins will take her back, to Coney Island.  And that brings the Future's End issue to a close.  Now back to Harley and the unconcious Power Girl.

Harley calls on Big Tony and Mason to help carry Power Girl back to her apartment.  Power Girl in case you didn't know is the Earth-2 version of Supergirl.  Here, enjoy this wiki page on her so I can get on with the story. They lie her down on Harley's bed and check her for injuries as delicately as they can when suddenly she comes around.  She has amnesia though and quickly passes out again.  Harley spots an opportunity for mischief.

She goes downstairs and gets Queenie to quickly run up two Harley themed superhero costumes.  She changes into hers and wrestles Power Girl out of her costume and into the new one.  Power Girl wakes up, takes a few steps and her new costume completely rips and falls off her.  Harley quickly offers her the old one back, Power Girl is very confused about what is going on.  Harley tells her that she is called Power Girl and Harley is her teammate.

Harley then tells her that she has a secret identity, her real name is "Betty Burns" and her stage name is "The Bomb". 

Powergirl: "So my secret identity from being this 'Power Girl' is a strong woman in a sideshow?"

Harley: "I can get a pen and write it down for you if you like."

Power Girl asks what she wears in this secret identity and Harley puts some glasses on her. Power Girl says "you must think I'm an idiot".  So off they go to do some clothes shopping.

After purchasing several outfits between them, they sit and have a meal in a fast food joint.  As Power Girl takes a drink, her cup springs a leak.  Because someone shot her through it, luckily she is made of iron so she is just a little startled by this rather than hurt.  "Someone just shot my soda!  And my boob!" she exclaims and it turns out a pair of villains, "The Sportsmaster" and "The Clock King" are responsible as they are robbing various places in the mall.  So Power Girl and Harley strip off their coats, revealing their superhero outfits and launch into evil-battling mode.

Power Girl: "How about we do some magic and make these guys disappear?"

Harley: "The way you say that is hot."

Unfortunately for them, the pair of baddies stretch open a ring which is a portal through space and Harley and Power Girl get transported across the cosmos.

To the rescue!

They find themselves amongst an army of a variety of aliens, led by a Queen with four breasts. When asked who they are, Power Girl proudly states they are both protectors of Earth and of their galaxy.  The Queen asks her human accountant and lover, "given to me by The Clock King", if what she says is true.  The man says as it's true as far as Power Girl is concerned but as he is about to reveal Harley's true nature, Harley blows him up using a gun she managed to swipe.

Power Girl and Harley make their getaway from the rest of the aliens as Power Girl says to Harley not to kill people again.  Power Girl then starts fighting them which wakes up the huge pug dog that can talk.  He asks Power Girl if there is a way they can resolve the situation. The Queen wants Harley and Power Girl dead, but the dog is her husband the King, who was disgusted by her taking a human as a lover and after a heated argument, he eats her.

Later he, Harley and Power Girl enjoy a banquet and he tells them that the ring they came through is one-way, but there are other rings they might be able to use, as owned by "Manos Ruler Of The Infinity Rings".  So with a map to guide them and a promise they'll chuck some cheeseburgers the king's way when they return, Power Girl and Harley go to confront Manos.

The King is a friendly dog.

They find Manos and his forty-five children hanging out on their planet.  Before they can reach him though a creature that looks like a giant slice of pizza attacks them.  Power Girl goes out and fights it but Harley manages to zap it using a space laser.  Then Manos, who doesn't look at all like Thanos, noooo, comes out and says:

Manos: "Bring me the Cosmic Organ".

Harley: "Ha! He said Cosmic Organ".

While Harley and Power Girl watch in horror, he destroys a whole planet with it.  This makes Power Girl angry, she tells him she was planning on bargaining with him but after that little display she's going to defeat him instead.

Manos tries to use his Infinity Rings against her, but light-fingered Harley has stolen them off him and uses them to blast him into a skeleton, much to Power Girl's annoyance.   One of Manos's kids tells them the ring home was his "Pinkie-toe one" and they stretch it into a portal which takes them back to just after they left Earth. 

Not Thanos honest!

But the Clock King and Sportsmaster send them back through another portal.  They instantly return, but Power Girl is now in a wedding dress and Harley, in a space jumpsuit is accompanied by several three-eyed purple cats. "Thank God! That was the longest two weeks of my life" says Power Girl.  Harley says she thought "Vartox" was cute.  So what happened?  An entire miniseries set between two panels happened, which I have covered here.  Enjoy!  For now, Power Girl rips off the dress and The Clock King says "I think we're in trouble."

Power Girl punches The Sports Master so hard he pops out of his skates.   He retaliates with a "short range nuclear ballistic missile."  Harley and The Clock King get to safety but The Sports Master manages to get caught in the blast that hit Power Girl.   The Clock King uses a magic clock to turn back and freeze time and retrieve his companion, and they make their getaway.

Tease PeeGee at your peril.

Power Girl survived of course, but her hair is all wooshed back.  As she flies carrying Harley, Harley has fits of laughter and teases her over it, getting dropped a couple of times as punishment.  They arrive back at Harley's building and Harley tells her she has a show to do that night.  Still pretty confused by her apparent life, she goes for a shower.  "Can I watch?" asks Harley.  That gets a firm NO.  Big Tony notes that she'll kill them when she gets her memory back.  Harley says she thinks another blow to her head and Power Girl's memory may return and she likes being her partner.

Big Tony: "Aw. Aren't you two cute together.  Add yer pal Ivy to the mix and we got a regular sitcom".

Harley: "Let's save that for another special, shall we?"

Coming out of the shower in Harley's flat, Harley introduces Power Girl to "Edgar", an egg with mechanical arms, the newest tenant of the building.  "He used to be a villain but we cured him with love and kindness" she says of him.  Power Girl is suspicious of him though.

Later, downstairs at the burlesque show poor Power Girl is in a leotard and does some flexing for the crowd.  A stagelight falls on her and Harley and Tony get ready to run in case her memory is back, but she is still amnesiac.  Then Harley tells her Clock King and Sports Master have been spotted uptown and it's time to go defeat them.

After an interude where Harley tries to mesmerise a mugger with her butt, she arrives to find the two miscreants beaten and down.  But The Sports Master isn't finished yet and he fires an energy bolt at Power Girl, which gets him shot in the hand by Harley for his trouble.  This surprises the villains, "since when do heroes shoot bad guys?" says The Clock King.  The police arrive to take them into custody as Power Girl flies off with Harley.

It was probably an obscene suggestion, bad Harley!

.

They sit together on a roof and Power Girl wants to know all about herself.  Harley spins her a bunch of fibs, then suddenly a bird craps on Power Girl and it is this that brings her memories back. Uh oh. Harley does some fast talking saying they did some proper superheroic stuff:

Harley: "Look, we were a crime-fighting team and you really liked me, even though I drove you nuts".

Harley makes her eyes big and limpid and starts crying, saying "could you ever forgive me?" Grumpily, Power Girl says "I can't stay mad at you Harley.  I just don't know what to do with you."  So Harley whispers something in her ear we don't hear, but involves the word "French" and gets Harley abandoned on top of the Eiffel Tower as punishment.  And that brings the Power Girl arc to a close.

Another interlude, this time for "Harley Quinn Invades Comic Con International San Diego Special" which is a bit of a mouthful but pretty much describes what happens.  Harley goes to Comic Con, which allows for some more playful meta humour.  In the course of the issue she snogs a room full of Joker cosplayers, de-pantses Batman, gets arrested for shooting a cop in the bum, has her portfolio looked over by Jim Lee, gets Bruce Timm and Paul Dini's autographs, and sadly also overhears an interview with DC Satan-In-Chief Dan Didio who says the following:

Dan Didio: "We'll be launching a new line of books that do not have any editorial overlooking control. We call this D-C-You.  Each creator does whatever they like with the character of their choice and goes crazy. We don't expect these books to sell at all, so we are setting the print run at 1,000 copies each."

No, no, let's move on.  Let's stay positive for now, even though this proves to me my theory that DC set the DCYou up for failure before the New 52 breathed its last.  You'll be hearing me whine more on this topic when I cover the second and final wave of DCYou trades early next year.  Anyway, after all this daftness, this volume is rounded off by a short "Secret Origins" tale of Harley and her lifelong interest in the criminally insane, culminating in her self destructive relationship with the Joker.  And that's it for another Harleytastic volume.

I just find these comics so much FUN.  The meta humour doesn't overwhelm the narratives, the jokes, innuendo and parody comes thick and fast and perhaps what I like most about it is the huge emphasis it places on female friendship.  Seriously I can't think of many other superhero comics where a whole issue would just be two women hanging out chatting and shopping.  And even before the Power Girl issues we get Harley hanging out and having a laugh with her Roller Derby team, no men in sight, nor are they the subject of the conversations.  It passes the Bechdel Test more comprehensively than any other superhero comic I can think of.  The Power Girl/Harley odd-couple friendship is glorious.  Poor Power Girl does end up looking a bit undignified in places, but she gets to be superheroic while having to cope with the crazy persona Harley has cooked up for her.  The idea of setting a miniseries between two panels is another fun idea and the Harley/Power Girl miniseries manages to be even dafter than the main Harley series if that's possible.  All-In-All you really feel Harley enjoys her life a lot, the Future's End and Secret Origins issues actually goes someway to showing how putting her with The Joker limits her, she is too wild to be a one man or woman Harley and she works much better as an anti-hero than as a villain.  I'm definitely still sticking with Harley for now, keep watching this space for the next volume in her series fairly soon.

Hellraiser The Dark Watch Book 2 (#5-8)

"Oh hello everyone.  I hope this is just an intervention" - Harry D'Amour

Have reviewed my last post on the first volume of this storyline I didn't make it obvious that Clive Barker is credited as co-writer.  He created the Cenobites in a book called The Hellbound Heart which was then roughly used to make the first Hellraiser film which he directed as well, he didn't write Hellraiser II which introduced the vision of Hell ruled over by the mysterious diamond shaped entity, the "Leviathan" but it appears to have had its blessing considering it's an integral part of these comics.  Unfortunately this minseries directly follows a prior out-of-print one, which gave us original series heroine Kirsty Cotton as a High Priestess of Hell along with original "Pinhead" Elliott Spencer.  They are now confined to a small globe, acting out memories over and over.  The new High Priest of Hell is an ex-private investigator called Harry D'Amour who got his own paranormal team together including Tiffany, the girl Kirsty saved in the second film.  Somehow he has ended up the "Pontifex" and has discovered that the Hell he manages is planning to invade the mortal realm.  He's already recruited Tiffany to his cause, though one of her team was lost in a tangle with an "Eremite" and now he has his own plans in motion while fending off assassination attempts from the human realm and, as we find out in this collection, from the Other Hells.  So lets crack on.

We begin with Rajeev, Tiffany's group's member who died in volume one being resurrected by an Eremite.  Lacking in skin, the Eremite orders Rajeev to solve the puzzle box which summons Harry who restores his skin and tells him he has a job for him to do.

Harry recruits Rajeev.

Meanwhile Tiffany's group is staking out "The Children of Lost Salvation" on Harry's orders. The Children appear to be demonic, but nothing like Cenobites.  When she reports this to Harry he reveals that there is more than one Hell.

Harry: "...Or one with a bunch of circles, or whatever.  Don't ask me for specifics, we're along way from Sunday School".

We then cut to later on as one of the men in the group is aghast that Harry ordered them to stand down and he'll take care of them.  They debate if he can be trusted, if he is the same Harry they knew before he became Hell's pope.

That night the Children of Lost Salvation are having a ceremony.  Amongst their numbers is Rajeev. He opens the puzzle box and summons many Cenobites led by the female one.  But there is a catch, Tiffany and Co. have drawn the "Glyph of the Solutent" which strips them of invulnerability.

Lets you and he fight.

The Cenobites and the transformed Children fight.  Tiffany says to kill them all and they'll sort things out later.   Then one of them spots Rajeev and realises he's been bought back to serve the Cenobites.  Rajeev says he was to open the box and summon the Cenobites in the war between them and the other hells.  Then the leader of the Children snatches the box and makes his escape. He closes the box and the Cenobites depart.  Tiffany says Harry has gone too far and holding the mystical knife that she acquired in the fight says "It's time... we take care of D'Amour".

Later the leader of the Children reopens the box summoning the Cenobites but this time they are ready for them.  They fight and the female Cenobite escapes back through the Hell portal to get reinforcements.  Harry is giving a somewhat unethusiastic speech to the gathered hordes when the female Cenobite arrives and tells him, "demons from another Hell have defiled our Lord's halls".

Thankful for the interruption, Harry follows her back to where the Children are.  He recognises the leader as "Butterfield".  He and Harry crossed paths in the past and Butterfield wants revenge.  Harry realises they have "talismans", ie: crosses to protect them from Hell's attacks.  But he has one as well, meaning they are at an impasse.

Harry D'Amour and his trusty firearm.

Except they aren't as Harry still has his pistol and he shoots a chunk out of Butterfield with it.  But Butterfield says bullets can't kill him, "can't blame me for trying" says Harry.   Before things can escalate Harry is yanked away, summoned by the special box he gave Tiffany.  Butterfield dispatches the "Reparee" to go look for him saying the only threat is D'Amour.

Tiffany and Co. say they want some answers from Harry, no "bullshit".  He says it's a bad time and tries to leave but he is stuck in a summoning circle.  "Your timing is awful" he says and we return to the battle between the rest of the Cenobites and the Children.  As they fight, Butterfield gazes upon the Leviathan saying "the objective is in sight."

Somewhat under duress, Harry tells them he resurrected Rajeev to bring Cenobites into the world so they could kill demons.  Utilising the Cenobites thusly "seemed like a good idea at the time".  Irritated that they won't set him free he fires his gun at them though Tiffany pushes his target out of the way and she shoots him in the torso.

Harry: "Everyone gives me shit about the gun.  You have no idea how often it comes in handy".

Rajeev appeals to him wanting to know why he made him a monster.  Harry says he didn't want to see him undergo an eternity of damnation.  Then suddenly something starts forcing the half open portal to Hell open and urgently Harry says they need to set him free, "or we're all dead."

Harry does some fast talking.

The Raparee comes crashing in, Harry describes it as a one of those "walking demon tanks". Tiffany's gang refuse to let him out of the circle, Harry says at least erase the glyph that takes away his ability to be harmed and killed.  Then he recalls he has the crucifix he can use for protection.

Theo, of the human contingent attacks the Raparee with a knife, but it swats him to one side. Harry tosses him the cross to protect himself with, but then the Raparee's attention is drawn to him. "oh.. shit" he says.  The Raparee gets trapped in the binding circle as well. Theo goes to erase it, but Harry just tells him to rub out the glyph.  Using petrol and a match, another of Tiffany's group, Norton, burns the Raparee up.

Defeating the Reparee.

Theo has a bit of a crisis, saying he is a pickpocket so why is he fighting demons from hell?  Harry says that the demons from another Hell are assaulting the Cenobite realm and have talismans of their own to protect them.  He needs their help.  Tiffany agrees on one condition.

Which we don't hear because the action cuts to the conflict in the Cenobite Hell.  They are having to fall back because they can't attack the invaders.  The invading demons are moving the bodies of the Cenobite dead around, at first they can't figure out why, then the female Cenobite realises they are marking out a massive Glyph of the Solutent around Leviathan.

Harry confirms to Tiffany's group that the invaders want to assassinate Leviathan. Norton says they have talismans, a demon killing knife and a Cenobite army, lets use them tactically. They assault the leaders of the Children and take them out bar Butterfield who grabs Theo and holds a knife to his throat saying he wants escorting back to the escape portal.

Butterfield tries to escape.

Tiffany calls him a "motherfucker" but Butterfield tells her that Harry has Kirsty - her surrogate mother - locked away in a prison with Elliott.  When she asks Harry if this is true, he evades the question by saying "can we not do this now?"  Theo manages to slip Butterfield's crucifix out of his pocket which removes his protection.

Butterfield's other arm gets ripped off and Harry says he will kill him after "lots of torture."  Tiffany's group make their way back to the mortal world, but Tiffany is deep in thought as the others debate the helping of one Hell against another.  The others go through the portal and then Tiffany, using the puzzle box, shuts it with herself still in Hell.

Tiffany: "Kirsty... I'm going to get you out of here."

Butterfield is being tortured by Cenobites who want to know why he was sent to kill Harry.  Butterfield doesn't seem too bothered and grins that "I know something you don't."  Then Tiffany appears from behind and using the mystic knife, kills Butterfield's tormenters.   She asks him where Kirsty he is, he'll say he isn't going to tell her, but he will show her.  So she frees him after her threats to torture it out of him has him laughing in her face.

Tiffany breaks Butterfield out.

She frees him and they leave.  Not long after, Harry arrives at where he was being kept and asks how Butterfield could have got free.  The female Cenobite says Tiffany has been spotted in the maze.  Alarmed Harry says she'll fuck things up for everyone if she isn't stopped.

As Tiffany and Butterfield make their way through the labyrinth, he transforms into a worm like being saying he'll need a new form for the fight to come.  They arrive at the room where all the memory globe prisons are being kept.  She peeks inside Kirsty and Elliott's and they are currently enacting a memory of Elliott's.

Tiffany appears to them both and they recognise her.  She and Kirsty run  from Elliott.  Kirsty tells Tiffany that Elliott's powers now come from another Hell.  Tiffany tries to keep him at bay with the demon killing knife, but it doesn't work in the mind prison.  He then slashes Tiffany's throat with it and Kirsty yells that she is going to kill him.  He then puts his hands round Kirsty's throat and says he'll kill her, she says fine go ahead.

And suddenly the three of them are out of the mind prison and back in Cenobite hell.  Kirsty says she spent all that time trying to break out, "when all I needed to do was give up".  And she hugs Tiffany.  Harry arrives on the scene and Tiffany angrily asks why he didn't tell her where he was holding Kirsty all this time.

He says he didn't tell her because he knew he would try and rescue her and "because of what might happen if you succeeded."  A huge hole opens in the floor and Elliott collapses in pain.  Then he arises, transformed into some hellish new type of demon as Harry says "I did tell you".

Elliott and Kirsty are free, but at what cost?

And with that this volume ends.  The book crams in a lot of interesting stuff by introducing the idea of different hells and their servants at war with each other.  Harry is stuck playing the Only Sane Man to the madness going on around him.  His assaults against the servants of the other hells by strategic puzzle box usage is pretty clever.  If I have one complaint it's almost too much being thrown in at once, which might flow better if the artist Tom Garcia wasn't so depressingly average.  With the opportunity to draw hell vistas we get instead some generic red backgrounds and that's it.  Rescuing Kirsty is a little perfuctory as well, although it's given us the prospect of the powered up demonic Elliott as the new antagonist.  The script in general is the highlight of the book, I don't know how much involvement Clive Barker has with the finished product (he's credited as co-writer with Brandon Seifert), but it's snappy and imaginative and deserving of a far better artistic vision to envisage it.  Nevermind, look out for book three which I shall most likely be covering sometime soon.

30 Days Of Night: Return to Barrow (#1-6)

"Some things can be lost and found again... but a thing like what happened in Barrow...you don't forget that" - Brian Kitka

The third 30 Days of Night miniseries, collected in the first omnibus sees the vampires return to target the Alaskan Town of Barrow which experiences the titular 30 Days of Night each winter.  In the original miniseries some vampires led by one called Marlow attack the town regarding it as prime feeding time.  However an elder vampire called Vicente arrives and kills Marlow for drawing attention to the existence of vampires.  He orders the human survivors killed and the town burned to cover it up.  Sheriff Eben Olemaun injects himself with vampire blood and keeps his mind long enough to kill Vincente.  He turns to ash as he sits with his wife Stella Olemaun as the sun rises after their month of hell.  In the second miniseries, Stella Olemaun has become quite the vampire hunter, researching and publishing a book on the events that saw the death of so many in Barrow.  But she is wounded and grieving her loss of Eben, and hooks up with a "good" vampire called Dane who was sired by Marlow but has kept his humanity.  Eben's ashes are stolen by a vampire working for Vincente's lover Lilith, and when Dane tells Stella his ashes might be able to revive Eben, Stella gladly trades all the proof she has of the existence of vampires for the ashes, although she blows Lilith and her minions the hell up afterwards.  Dane leaves her somewhat sadly and using her blood she mixes it with Eben's ashes and he revives.  The miniseries ended with her hugging him and him about to sink his teeth into her.  What happens next?  Find out in this mini, still written by Peter Niles and with Ben Templesmith still on art duties.

We begin with an introduction to our P.O.V character for this mini, a man called Brian Kitka who is the brother of William Kitka a Barrow resident who died in the vampire seige on the town, now three years in the past.  It seems the authorities have put out a story that implies the residents went mad, murdered each other and tried to cover it up with fire, as well as playing down the number of dead.  Brian knows his brother was no murderer and has come back to the town to take up the vacant post of Sheriff along with his young son.  Initially unsure if vampires were the reason things went down in Barrow, he gets a crash course in them during his first couple of days on the job as vampires from all over converge on the town out of a sense of revenge.  As they arrive at their new home, Brian thinks to himself:

Brian: "I am going to find out what happened. Clear his name, and bring some sanity back to Barrow."

His son Marcus is very excited by their new house which to him is huge.  Obviously property prices in Barrow are very low which is how Brian could afford it.  Then he reports to the Sheriff's Office in town, the deputy says she hadn't been informed of them getting a new sheriff, Brian is irrtated and yells at her.

Brian and his son Marcus.

His deputy scowls and says if Brian is going to be rude he'll need to find a new deputy.  Brian apologises saying he can't believe his transfer papers didn't come through yet. Then his deputy grins and says "I was just fucking with you. They came last week".  Brian smiles as well and they shake hands as she introduces herself as Donna Sikorski.  She says she knew his brother and his family and they were "good people."  Brian asks if she was here when "it" happened.  She says she was but folks have "learned to keep our mouths shut about it."  And she gently but firmly shuts down further probing of her from Brian about it.

Now in uniform and with his badge he goes outside and bumps into a hunter called John Ikos, who's brother Brian knew.  John reaffirms the view that Brian's brother was a good guy who sometimes came hunting with him. They are silent for a moment, then Brian asks him outright if "it" happened.  John replies, "Yes, it happened".  Then he calls out Donna and demands she hand over William Kitka's journal of the events of the vampire attack.  He tells Donna that Brian deserves to know the truth of what happened from his brother's own words.

John fills Brian in on their Sheriff woes.

As Brian goes off to read the journal alone, John comments to Donna that Brian needs to be prepared and informed.  He's already caught and killed a couple of advanced vampire scouts already.

John: "Let's hope the new sheriff plays ball... if he does, great.  If he doesn't.  Fuck him".

Then he tells Donna to lock her doors and windows but give him a call if she gets cold and lonely.   She gives him the finger affectionately.

Back with Marcus, a black cat appears in the house. It's a friendly kitty and leads Marcus upstairs and into a room where a bridal gown is one display.  There are assorted books of reports, Marcus hunts through them and finds a book of wedding photos.  He opens it to find a picture of the happy bride and groom, Stella and Eben Olemaun.  It's their house he and his dad are now living in.

Stella and Eben in happier, non-dead, times.

We cut to New Orleans.  Corrupt vampire FBI Agent Norris from the previous mini is calling upon a colleague of Judith, the woman who gathered video evidence of the attack on Barrow and whom he killed for it, but not before she had passed it onto Stella (who traded it for Eben's ashes anyway). Norris forces his way in, knocks out the man who is called George and who is a junkie then ties him up and waits for him to come to.

When George does so, Norris says he needs to know everything George knows about vampires. He wants to know how much humans know about them.  He threatens to destroy George's stash if he doesn't talk.

Norris: "I have all eternity George... how long do you think you'll last?"

Meanwhile in Barrow, Brian is reading his brother's chronicle of the events in Barrow.  It's heartbreaking stuff as it gets more and more apocalyptic and emotive, heavily implying he committed murder/suicide to prevent him and his family ending up as vampire chow, finally ending with the words to Brian, "if you come back to Barrow...know that there is evil in the darkness".

"Evil in the darkness" indeed.

As Brian finishes reading a figure approaches him.  Before he can register it as a threat it attacks, but John comes up behind it and headshots it saving Brian in the process. "You are having one shit-ass day aren't you?" John says sardonically.  He assumes now Brian knows the truth he'll be leaving.  Brian says he won't run.  They examine the corpse, Brian asks if it was really one of them.  John says it's hard to tell what with it missing a head and all.

Brian returns to his new home and speaks with Marcus who is excited and telling him the house belonged to the lady who wrote the book and her husband who died saving the town.  Brian still thinks it's probably "horseshit" and asks Marcus if he wants to leave.  He says the whole town feels "off" and they can be on a flight to Anchorage that evening.  Marcus decides he does want to go. But the last flight has gone so Brian and Marcus are stuck in Barrow now until the sun comes up.

Back in New Orleans, Norris is still questioning George who keeps pathetically begging for a fix.   Irritated beyond reason, Norris bites George and turns him into a vampire.  Then he questions him again.

George: "They have safe houses all over the world and a network connected by a common need to survive".

Norris asks him how he feels about these humans now, "I feel a common foe" says vampire George, "I feel them thinking about us."  Norris says it's time to silence the voices.  Do you feel the pull he asks George?  "Yesssss" George responds. "Looks like we have a long night ahead of us George" says Norris.

Agen Norris vamps George.

We then join a pair of vampires on their way up to Barrow, called Liam and Darcy.  Dane, the good vampire from the previous mini leaps out at them and introduces himself to them.  They ask if he is the same Dane who escaped the immolation of Lilith's group?  He affirms that he is, and the two vampires ask him if it was true that the lady who wrote the "30 Days of Night" book was responsible?  Dane says he saw no woman there, he lies and says it believes it was one clan of vampires who wanted to wipe out their elders. "To tell the truth I'm getting tired of all the killing" he tells them.

They ask if he is heading for "the feeding".  Dane is not, he doesn't even know what feeding they are talking about. When they say they are going to Barrow to destroy the town once and for all, Dane says the town should be left alone, "we failed once. Why try again?" Liam says it's a chance for redemption.

Dane: "How would another attack redeem us?  We should walk away and let the memories fade."

Liam offers him a cup of blood and says the memories don't fade. Humanity is fighting back thanks to the book and they are finding no place is safe for them now. "We all live in fear Dane" says Liam. Barrow has to pay with blood.

Dane hooks up with Liam and Darcy.

Back in Barrow it's special delivery time.  A man arrives with a car full of assault weaponry which causes Brian to freak out a little. John says he can feel free to arrest the whole town when the sun comes up and is disappointed that Brian still doesn't seem to realise the threat they are living under. Brian gets mad at him for sassing him in front of his son and pushes him up against the car, but deputy Donna intervenes saying she wants to show Brian their "winter security".  Then she introduces him and his son to the rest of the town gathered there, they all greet Brian and Marcus warmly.

The man who drove up introduces a girl called Iris, who excuses herself to find a ladies room.  But when he admits he only met her on the way up on his way back to Barrow the penny drops and Donna blows a whistle to alert the town they have a vampire in their midst.  They form smaller armed groups and go searching for her.  The winter floodlights are turned on as well, they broadcast UV light which hurts vampires badly.

The vampire girl sneaks around then suddenly a dark shape descends on her. As Brian's group search, John advises him to get Marcus into a safe room, the Olemaun place has a basement he should be safe in. Brian and John bond as John tells him the vampires appear this time every year, some people leave Barrow, most people stay and fight. Brian says John must have seen it all, John affirms he has.  Then they find the vampire girl's body, her head ripped clean off.  John remarks, "...this is new."

She has no head.

Agent Norris and George meet up with a group of vampires led by one called Werner who is directing the attack on Barrow. Werner welcomes Norris to "the war" when he realises how useful he can be. Werner says this year no one gets out of Barrow alive.  Then a vampire called Greta runs up to him telling him to come see something. They hurry over and find the corpses of Liam and Darcy with their heads and limbs ripped off and Dane slumped against a tree nearby. Dane mumbles that they didn't deserve to be killed.

Werner impatiently asks what happened and Dane says they were attacked. He didn't see who did it, just two blurs and then his travelling companions were dead. Dane doesn't know why he was spared.   Norris whispers in his ear, "I can smell the Olemaun woman on you."  Before things can escalate, Werner tells them both to stand down. Dane says he's told them everything he knows and Werner accepts this despite Norris's protests that Dane knows more than he is saying.  Werner initiates the attack on Barrow.

Inside Barrow which is defended by the UV lights and a fence all round it, guards are scanning for signs of attack.  Suddenly the vampires attack and this time they have guns as well and they collapse one of the light towers.  The vampires charge in and a firefight ensues between them and the townsfolk. "Hold the line!" yells John as they fire back.

The vampires go all out on Barrow.

Brian is securing Marcus in the Olemaun house basement, he tells Marcus to keep the door locked and only open it for him.  Then he leaves to go join the fight, "I'll be back. I promise" he tells his son. Brian goes and mans the ground mounted minigun and blows the frontline of the vampires to pieces, they retreat for the moment to regroup and try again.  Brian wonders why the residents of Barrow don't call for help.

John: "We call for help every year.  But help never comes. They don't believe us.  Shit would you?"

Well Brian is a believer now. John says he's sorry he's having such a baptism of fire especially as he has a young son.  But he's glad Brian is there to help them now.  Brian says they'll make it so the vampires wish they had never come to Barrow.

Back with the vampires, they consider the fact they took out one generator as indicative of a coming victory.  Norris whispers about Dane behind his back saying he gives him the creeps and he thinks he has something to do with his Sire Lilith's death.  George says Stella had a vampire accomplice who she took as her lover.  "What?" says Norris flatly.

Norris murders Dane.

He then goes and confronts Dane and demands to know what it was like to have a human woman. Dane denies knowing what he is talking about. Norris blasts his head off at point-blank range with his gun.  He says Dane was a "human sympathiser" and that something odd is going on right now.  Meanwhile Brian and John are hunkered down in a bunker discussing the situation:

Brian: "So you got any pearls of wisdom for me?"

John: "There's only one thing you gotta remember... nothing lives without a head."

The vampires stand some way away, Norris asks if he can make a suggestion to Werner.  We don't hear it as we return to Brian and John as John watches them through binoculars speculating they are coming up with a new plan of attack now their "weapon surprise" didn't overwhelm the town like they expected.

Defending the town.

Suddenly the whole group of vampires vanish, freaking John and Brian out who then retreat back into town.  Brian says he thinks the vampires are freaking out as much as they are and this calms John down.  Brian says they are trying to keep them off balance but obviously lack leadership.

Brian: "Let's make sure they get what they deserve when they get here... for our brothers".

John: "For our fallen brothers".

And they shake hands. They go to the boot of the car with the weapons and Brian takes out a grenade.  Two other residents go to the damaged light tower to see how repairs are coming along and then the vampires rush them. They manage to kill Greta much to the distress of Werner but are killed before back-up can arrive.  Werner picks up Kenny's (one of the dead men) radio and tells John over it that Kenny is dead.  John demands to know who he is speaking to:

Werner: "I am a friend of the many that you have murdered. And I will have my vengeance."

And he cuts John off in the middle of an expletive.  Two more residents guarding a generator are killed by vampires.  The vampires are attacking from all sides now.  Brian and John try to direct the defences where they will be most effective.  Brian says they are splitting into groups, putting holes in the perimetre and he's not sure they can hold them off now.  Brian, John and Donna man the mounted minigun and prepare to repel the horde as best they can.

Norris meanwhile is going solo with an attack on the Olemaun house.  As he steps inside, Brian, Donna and John keep blasting the crap out of the vampires.  Norris ventures further into the house, calling out to anyone there.  Marcus shivers in the basement and doesn't respond. 

He breaks into the basement and Marcus cowers in fear and then.. something happens to Norris.  Someone whispers in his ear "Hello agent Norris. Goodbye agent Norris" and all we see next is a close up of Marcus holding the black cat and watching the events unfold off-panel.

Marcus and Kitty witness the end of Norris.

As the vampires close in on Brian, John and Donna, Brian says Marcus's name and seems to resign himself to death.  Then there is a blur, and every vampire that was surrounding him has been reduced to bloody smears on the snow.  Too concerned with Marcus's situation, Brian just runs to the Olemaun house to check on him.  He finds Marcus, the cat and the remains of Norris, he hugs Marcus who is somewhat upbeat.

Marcus: "The lady helped us."

John: "Yeah? What lady?"

Marcus: "The lady in the picture we found in the attic."

STELLAAAA!  She survived her vamping by Eben it seems but what about him?  Anyway before that question is answered we return to John and Donna.  Donna is out of ammo as is John and she is wounded.  Werner approaches to kill them and John flings his hunting knife at him and impales Werner right through the skull, killing him a second time.  Donna gives him a kiss, "didn't see that coming" says a chuffed John.

The remaining townsfolk report that the vampires are fleeing, they are being torn apart by things that move so fast they are a blur.  Brian and Marcus arrive and so to does Stella and Eben, the two now vampire lovers united for all eternity. Stella simply says:

Stella: "No one will ever hurt this town again. We will always be watching over you".

And she and Eben fade back into the night, the vampire threat over and Barrow having gained immortal protection, and with that this miniseries comes to an end.

Protection from beyond the grave.

Another superb story from a great writer and man do I wanna squee about Ben Templesmith's art.  He definitely up there with my all time faves.  I love his use of delicate inks with colour washes and imbues his art with a lot of range of motion that can often be lost in more static painted artwork.  I'm glad Stella got her happily ever after with the resurrected Eben, the idea of them united forever watching over the town they guarded as sheriffs in life is very romantic.  There's a nice bit of foreshadowing that Stella might be the one responsible for murderising the vampires converging on Barrow when she spared Dane.  I was sad to see him taken out the way he was by the revolting Norris, but Eben proves you can't keep a good vamp down so maybe we'll see him again I don't know, I haven't read the next omnibus yet, but will be covering the stories within once I get it.  Brian and John make a fun bickering couple with John's explanations to Brian being a good way of filling in readers who might not have read or don't recall the events of the first attack on Barrow.  In fact my only complaint is to these middle aged eyes, some of the fonts used are bloody hard to read, maybe I need specs.  Anyway, expect more 30 Days of Night in the months to come, it's building up a nice mythology and set of characters and still has plenty of places it can still go.  In summary then, come for the art, stay for the great story and characterisation.

Lazarus Book 3: Conclave (#10-15)

"We're Lazari. And that makes us different from everyone else in ways they will never understand" - Sir Thomas Huston

Greg Rucka and Michael Lark's series Lazarus has been structured in an interesting way.  The first book introduced us to "Forever Carlyle" or "Eve" as she is also know, a genetically engineered young woman designed to be able to recover from almost any injury bar head removal including briefly dying.  She is the youngest of six children of family partiarch Malcolm Carlyle and in the first book we were told they rule a certain amount of the ex-USA (the western parts and western Canada it seems), where the population are either "Serfs" in the family's direct employ who enjoy benefits and a higher standard of living or "Waste" who are given a subsistence life and exploited for what little the have.  The second book pulled out a little further showing what it meant to be considered Waste and what lengths Waste will go to for elevation to Serfdom in an annual testing program called The Lift.  In both books we're given glimpses of other families, such as Morray to the south and Bittner-Hock to the north who rule Mexico and Eastern Canada/ex-USA respectively. The beginning of Book 3 pulls right out and gives us the world.  And in fact it is not just the ex-USA being ruled by powerful families, every continent has been split amongst powerful monarchal style regimes, we don't yet know why or how this came about apart from a brief mention of "The Disolution Wars" in Book 2, but this Book is devoted to the new politics of this very different world and the important part Eve has to play in it as her role of the family enforcer is severely tested.

Before the Conclave arc starts proper, we get and Intermission which tells of what happened to Jonah, one of Eve's older brothers four months ago, when he and Johanna's (his twin sister) plan to kill Eve and sabotage a deal between Carlyle and Morray  backfired and Johanna framed him as the sole instigator of the plot.  He escaped in a plane and made it as far as the border between Carlyle and Hock before crashing on his side.  He wades over to the Hock territory and the soldiers there ignore his calls for asylum and knock him out. Stripped down to his underwear, Jonah wakes up to find out Jakob Hock is sending a team out to get him so the soldiers return his clothes.  His pleas to speak to Jakob are ignored and he is shackled and flown to the capital of Hock territory, New York.

He is stripped completely naked, beaten and locked in a cell, he can only curl up and whimper that he seeks asylum from his family.  Later he is taken out, hosed down and dressed in prison scrubs and taken to see Jakob Hock.  On the way he hears propaganda about the evils of Carlyle who have apparently have slaves and force women to breed in rape camps, "it's not true" whispers Jonah to himself.  It also appears that the population is controlled via distribution of drugs.

Jonah doesn't get the reception he hoped for.

Jonah finally gets to sit down with Jakob at a meal.  Jakob says it is forty years since he last saw Jonah and he hasn't aged a day.  This is the first reveal that the Carlyle family are very long lived and that nineteen year old Eve is very young in comparison to her siblings.  Johan wants to bargain with Jakob.  But Jakob says he has nothing to bargain with, what he wants from Jonah he can take by force.  Some guards come in and force a sedative down Jonah's throat. 

Later, after Jakob has talked to one of his allied families about ransoming Jonah and forcing Carlyle to call a "Conclave" he orders Jonah's finger cut-off and the Intermission ends with Jonah going under the knife as Jakob's doctors and scientists look for how the Carlyle longevity is acheived and how it can make Jakob young and no longer in need of leg braces again.

The Conclave arc starts proper with a visit to the border of Carlyle and Bittner-Hock's territory.  A woman armed with a sword approaches from the Bittner-Hock side.  The Carlyle soldiers realise she is a "fucking Lazarus", a genetically engineered enforcer like Eve.

Sonia: "My name is Sonia Bittner.  I am sent by my mother with a gift for Carlyle".

She repeats this as the Carlyle soldiers somewhat foolisly challenge her and she kills several. "Tell them I am here" she then says, pointing her sword at them.

Sonia Bittner.

We then join Eve, going through the physical assessments that are part and parcel of life as a genetically engineered superhuman.  She is subdued and when the tests are over she asks James if she is actually a Carlyle, does she have Carlyle blood?  James pauses then laughs and asks if she wants to know if she was adopted, actually he was there at her birth, she is fully Carlyle.  As she leaves though, James looks pensive.

On her way out Eve bumps into Marisol her trainer and surrogate mother figure when she was a child. Marisol is there for a "treatment" to keep her young. "For a human being coming up on ninety, you have to admit I look damn good" she says.  Eve confides in her about the message she got telling her she was not a real Carlyle at the end of book one.  Marisol asks if she traced it.  Eve said she couldn't find a source, but it was obviously from Jonah, fucking with her head as part of his revenge.

Eve is then called and informed about Sonia Bittner's arrival and protocol says Eve should be dealing with this. So she flys up to the border and greets Sonia formally.  Sonia hands over the "gift", it is one of Jonah's fingers. "I am to await your reply" says Sonia.  Eve tells the soldiers to give Sonia all "comfort and courtesies" while she confers with her father Malcolm.

Malcolm reveals that he wanted Jonah to be captured, which is why he didn't send Eve after him, he has a plan he isn't sharing just yet.   Hock has left them with three options, pay the ransom, bring in the other families or fall into open conflict.  The best option is to call all the families together in a Conclave with a neutral family as arbiters. 

The terms of the Conclave are agreed to.

We then get a page where we see Eve and Sonia talking, but hear Malcolm narrating how negotiations will go.  As predicted Sonia agrees to their terms and returns to her territory while Eve comes back to see Malcolm in person. His other children are gathered there as well.  He tells them that Eve and Bethany are going to accompany him to the Conclave while his other children manage the territory while he is gone, Johanna is pissed about this but Bethany says she has to go to keep Eve "maintained".

All the children leave bar Bethany who says that while Eve's growth continues to outpace projections, she is asking questions about who she is and who her family are.  Malcolm muses:

Malcolm: "Someone put that question in her head, Beth.  Someone is making trouble."

As Eve goes to get ready to leave, Johanna catches up with her and says to be careful with Jonah, who lied to them, used them and beat her when he was discovered. As we see Jonah and Jakob disembark from the plane they have travelled in to the location picked to host the Conclave, an oil rig in the North Sea because the Armitage family who run Britain and United Ireland (hah!) are in charge.  Jonah is drugged and shackled and over this image are Johanna's words, "don't forget what he did to both of us... he's not our brother anymore".

Later, Eve is attending to her father while he discusses the situation with a man called Arthur Cohn.  The coversation covers who is opposing and allied with who, the major players being Carlyle's coalition versus Hock's.  Malcolm then asks Eve what she thinks.  A bit taken aback she says she thinks Morray might go over to Hock and that having Jonah for four months means they might have cracked the "longevity code".   Arthur says that if that's the case, despite the food supply Carlyle controls, everyone will go over to Hock if he can give them immortality.  Thoughtfully, Malcolm tells Eve to go and relax before the gala that evening.

Sonia and Eve hang out.

So Eve goes down to the training room and works out on a bag.  Then Sonia, Bittner's Lazarus appears.  They have a pleasant conversation while they spar together. Then a handsome black man appears, he is Xolani, the Nikosi family Lazarus.  He says the others are scared of the Lazari and have supplied them with facilities to keep them out of the way.  Sonia is a bit uncomfortable because Bittner is in oposition to Nikosi.  "It's not the race thing?" he teases.  Then they all spar together.  Xolani ends up in a clinch with Sonia and she stammers that she should be leaving to get ready. Eve smiles and says they should.

Jonah is standing looking miserable.  He is given some food.  He asks what's in it but eats it anyway when told it doesn't matter. Jakob Hock is having his leg braces put on ready for the gala.  Back with the Carlyle's they are all in evenng dress except Eve who feels uncomfortable with wearing a gown, "I'm going to look stupid.  I won't be able to wear my sword."  Malcolm sends her off with Bethany to get her ready, "you can survive knives, guns, poisons.  But you can't manage an evening gown" she says exasperatedly.

Later at the gala, Eve catches the eye of Joachim, the Morray family Lazarus she has a crush on.  Sir Thomas Huston, the Armitage family Lazarus, introduces himself to her and asks if she'll come to the Lazari poker game tonight.  She says if her father allows it. He points out the Rausling family's new Lazarus, a severe looking blonde man called Cristoff Mueller.  Thomas says he needs to be told how things work.

Joachim and Eve dance.

Then Joachim comes up and asks for Eve's hand for a dance.  Shyly she says there is no one on the dance floor.  He just smiles and leads her on there, when she says she doesn't know how to dance, he replies "of course you do".  And under various watchful eyes they twirl together, until others join in and the dancefloor is full of people. Severa Bittner, the head of the family says she wants to talk to Malcolm about changing her alleigance.  He says they'll talk later and leaves the gala with a glass Jakob Hock had drunk out of.

Joachin and Eve make plans to meet later when Jakob Hock interrupts and says he would like the pleasure of a dance with Eve.   She says she doesn't mean to be rude, but will his feet be able to keep up? Jakob says he appreciates her concern, but... and he releases the braces and stands unaided.

Jakob Hock: "As you can see, I'm feeling better than I have in years.  Shall we dance Miss Carlyle?"

We then jump forwards to Eve leaving the gala.  Joachim catches up with her, she says her father needs to know about this turn of events.   Joachim strokes her face and says he'll wait for her at the poker game.

The rest of the Carlyle family figure out their next move.

The rest of the Carlyle family are in conference.  The DNA of Jakob Hock, taken from the glass, is being tested to see if he has used the longevity treatment.  It'll either confirm Jakob has created his own treatment or that he has ripped off theirs, "I've been waiting for this for years.. believe me.  I've accounted for everything" says Malcolm.

Eve bursts in and tells them what happened at the gala.  No one is surprised.  Eve realises this was supposed to happen, "you let him humiliate me" she says.  Malcolm says that wasn't his intent.  Bethany is angry though, "big fucking deal" she says.  She goes on to accuse Eve of "practically riding" Joachim on the dancefloor. Malcolm tells her to apologise to Eve.  Bethany gives an insincere "sorry."

Malcolm then faces Eve and says he should have warned her that Jakob would go for a grand gesture and that he is "very sorry".  Eve says it's OK.  Then Malcolm tells her to go to the Lazari poker game and gives her a kiss on the cheek saying not to stay out too late.

We then cut to the poker game, several of the Lazari are playing.  The game is being hosted by Li Jiaolong of the Li family who run China, Hong Kong, Kazahkstan and Mongolia.  He is an interesting Lazarus because he is physically infirm but appears to have superhuman senses and implied superhuman intelligence and the others seem a bit afraid of him.  The other Lazari, including Eve, Joachim and Alimah - a young Muslim woman who is a bit of an Eve fangirl - watch from the sidelines.

The Lazari poker game.

There is a disagreement during the game from the Rausling family Lazarus, Mueller.  He accuses Li of cheating.   Li gives an analysis of the game and how everyone has played to prove he doesn't need to cheat.  He then implies Mueller has taken virility drugs and he can smell the perfume of a particular woman on him and would he like everyone to know who that is?

Chastened Mueller sits back down. Thomas then says that although their families may be in conflict, they have one thing that unites them, that they are Lazari.  They will do as their families order them to do but it "doesn't mean we'll have to like it".  And the game continues.

Joachim asks Eve to accompany him on a walk.  She says she is worried his family will go back to Hock.  Joachim says that will never happen.  Then he says he would very much like to kiss her.  And they snog.  They part and Eve asks anxiously if she did it right.  He says very much so.  She says he is her first kiss.  And then he becomes her second and third one.

Eve and Joachim share an intimate moment.

Next day the families are all in conference so their Lazari are hanging around waiting.  Sonia comes and sits next to Eve.  She notes that Eve left with Joachim and asks if she and Joachim are...?   And Eve says  "I think so.  I hope so".  Sonia says she hopes Jonah will be returned to her and no escalation will occur.  Eve asks her what she means?  And she says she overheard that if Hock has what the Carlyle's have, Morray will return to them.  Eve looks upset.  The families adjourn for now.

Back in the Carlyle quarters, they have the DNA analysis and it definitely has some of their work in it.  But it'll be difficult to prove what is proprietry and what isn't.  Hock was part of the Longevity Project at its start and will argue he has made the discoveries on his own.   Malcolm pinches his brow and says "not ideal, but expected". 
Then he goes to speak with Eve privately. He says he needs her to do something only she can do. It'll be difficult and dangerous.

Malcolm: "There is no room for error or hesitation. Believe me when I say either will bring ruin to our family".

Eve then makes like James Bond and moving round the outside of the rig and finds Jonah alone in his room.  Mumbling to himself he says he doesn't want to be hurt anymore.  "It's funny" says Eve as she comes up behind him, "I've thought the same thing more times than I can count."  Jonah hugs her, practically weeping that he is so sorry about everything. "So am I" says Eve to him and injects him with a sedative in his back.

Eve drugs Jonah.

Eve drags him into a secluded area zipped up in a bag.  She opens it and he gets out, now wide awake.  She forces him to his knees and gets out her gun and he realises what she is going to do. "Father sent you to kill me" he says sadly.  He begs her that he doesn't want to die and she gets mad and punches him.

She says he's only still alive because he has something she wants, when the alarm is sounded that he is gone, he gets a bullet to the brain and dumped on the seafloor.  She tells him he tried to kill her and her father and betrayed the family as well as badly beating Johanna.  Jonah pleads guilty to everything except beating Johanna, he says he loves her and everything he did was for her.

She shows him the email saying she is not part of the family she has been brooding over since Book 1.  She asks if Jo could have sent it.  Jonah doesn't know.  Then Eve demands to know if it is true?

Jonah: "You were grown in a fucking lab.  Bethany and James made you to father's order.  You're not his daughter.  You're his tool.!"

He immediately regrets saying that, noting that their father probably loves her most of his children. She thanks him for telling the truth then points her gun at him again.  Jonah says she doesn't have to do this.  Eve says she does, "It... hurts when I don't Jonah".  He says it's the drugs, she is medicated into loving them.  She is still going to kill him and he says if she lets him live she'll never have cause to regret he was her brother.  Then the alarm sounds.

Eve: "I have to make it look like Hock did it you understand?  It's what father told me to do".
Jonah: "And we must always do as we are told".

We then cut to Armitage's security forces sweeping the place for signs of Jonah.   When we return to Jonah and Eve she's put him in some sort of inflatable suit.  She says the storm should hide him and if he can get to a current he can let that carry him along.  She says it may not work.  Jonah asks if it is scary to die? "Only the first time" she responds.  They embrace and he thanks her.  Then he drops off the rig and into the sea.

Eve decides to spare Jonah.

Eve makes it back unseen to the Carlyle quarters. Lockdown is lifted and everyone is being summoned to the main hall.  When James asks how she feels, Eve says she "feels fine".  But in the shower she punches a wall hard enough to crack the tiles and numbly regards her wounds which are immediately healing.

Everyone bar Malcolm has gone to the main hall when she comes out of the shower in her official uniform.  Malcolm says he wanted a word in private with her.  He says stealing the evacuation suit was "inspired".  Now it looks like Hock is trying to cover up Jonah's murder by implying he disappeared.  He says it must have been hard killing Jonah, he has also lost a son now as well.  By his calculations there is one thing left to do that he knows Eve won't let him down doing.

In the main hall are all the families and their Lazari.  Armitage says the preliminary investigation has found that Johan is no longer aboard the rig. Because the Conclave was called to deal with his safe return, Hock must now answer for his loss of Jonah.  Angrily Hock says it's all Carlyle plot to discredit him.

He knows Hock has cracked the longevity code and is scared because his power over the other families is lost.   He asks the other families to stand with him and end the Carlyle "scientific tyranny". Malcolm says Hock had Jonah murdered to cover up the fact Hock stole the longevity code from his body.  This is serious stuff as theft of a family's source of wealth is "grounds for war."

Jakob tries to deflect blame onto Carlyle.

Hock refuses to hand over a sample of his blood for testing, and says he wants to resolve things another way. A trial by combat.  Malcolm says Hock has no Lazarus to fight with.  Hock asks of the other families who will fight on his behalf.  No one steps forward.  So Hock picks Sonia Bittner, even though it looks like Bittner is going over to Carlyle after the Conclave he can still use her Lazarus now.

Malcolm gives Eve a pep talk saying Sonia will not let their friendship get in the way of defeating Eve, especially given that Hock is threatening her mother.  The terms are set, if Carlyle wins, Hock will surrender all the research and technology related to the longevity code.  Hock in return demands Eve as his prize alive or dead, she'll be useful either way.  And with that, Sonia and Eve both armed with swords, reluctantly begin to fight.

We then get a multiple page, beautifully choreographed, completely dialogue free fight scene showing how the precise movements of the blades to start with, degenerate into grapples and punches as they get bloodier and more desperate as the fight wears on.  Sonia manages to wrestle Eve's sword out of her hands, but Eve gets it back and ends the fight by spearing it through Sonia's torso.  Eve goes to finish her off with her knife when Sonia's mother yells to stop and that the fight is clearly over.

Sonia and Eve fight.

Malcolm stops Eve and immediately she goes to help Sonia, pulling the sword out of her and congratulating her performance.  Sonia says Eve's sword is so light, she did not know what to do with it. "You knew enough to make me pay to get it back" says Eve.  Malcolm says Hock must yield.  But Hock says "Never!" He wants the combat to end in death, Armitage says the terms said nothing about the death of the combatants and that Hock must hand over all that they have stolen or "face the consequences".

Hock spits something green in Malcolm's face saying that's all he gets from him. "I defy this Conclave.  This charade.  If this is grounds for war, so be it".  And he leaves saying he'd see the world burn before having it fall to Carlyle.  Then Malcolm collapses, frothing at the mouth.   Eve holds him and says "Father? Please father... say something. Please daddy.  Please..."

Jakob Hock:  A total dick.

And that brings this exciting volume to an end.  What I like so much about this series is it always throws up new and exciting plot points that you hope will be addressed in the futre, such as what catastrophe befell the world that it's population now seems to number in the millions rather than billions, and how one family can run so much physical landmass effectively.  How did the world get divided into the relative well off under the families and the rest become little more than slaves.  It's all fascinating food for thought.  This volume is pacy and exciting and it's cool meeting all the different Lazari and the bond they share.  Eve's shy courtship with Joachim is charming and shows a completely different side to her than the all business enforcer who will carry out assassinations and fight a friend to the death if ordered too, also Joachim's gentle manner with her and checking her consent at every stage is very sexy. I'm not into guys myself, but he's attractive to me now thanks to how he treats her here.  Also we do get to see her just-following-orders side as well, in a fantastic fight scene by Michael Lark the series artist who has an amazing sense of visual pacing and Greg Rucka writes very much to his strengths.  I'm glad Sonia was allowed to live, Eve needs good friends badly.  Of course Eve sparing Jonah is going to have repercussions for her, but will he stay true to his word and never let her regret saving him?  We shall see I am sure.  With Jakob we finally get a shade of black in a world that is most definitely shaded different types of grey, a truly nasty piece of work and quickly becomes a formidable baddie.  In the meantime I hope you'll join me for volume four in a couple of months when we find the world at war and Malcolm still incapacitated by the poison Jakob spat at him and more revelations on just what it means to be the Carlyle family Lazarus.