Saga Book 2 (#7-12) NSFW

NSFW: Revolting, syphilitic, full frontal, giant alien genitals.  Also some "cowgirl" position sex happens.

"You're not my enemy.  Not much of a combatant either" - Alana

Just for a kick off, I'm writing up each post on Saga before I read the next trade, so I may occasionally speculate about stuff that is completely innacurate, and please, no spoilers.  Anyway, Saga is the currently on-going series written by Brian K. Vaughn and drawn by Fiona Staples that tells the tale of a pair of star crossed lovers and their baby daughter.  The female is called Alana and is from a planet of winged beings called Landfall.  Orbiting it is a small moon called Wreath peopled by horned beings who are at war with them and which is where the male called Marko comes from.  Both have gone AWOL from their respective armies and the first book chronicled the birth of their daughter Hazel, who sometimes narrates part of the story from an unspecified time in the future.  Marko, Alana and Hazel managed to escaped the small planet called Cleave they were on, although as part of that escape Hazel had her soul bonded to the ghost of one of the inhabitants, a bisected teenage girl called Izabel.  The first book ended with two Wreathians boarding the wooden rocketship our family had commandeered and zapping Izabel, before Marko called them off.  They turn out to be his parents.  The union of Marko and Alana has got both races in something of a panic.  The Landfall aliens have sent "Prince Robot IV" to track them down, while the Wreathian's hired a bounty hunter.  Their first bounty hunter The Stalk was killed by Prince Robot IV and her ex-lover The Will swore revenge on him as well as also being sent after Marko and Alana.  The Will has his own mission though, which is to rescue a six year old girl from sexual slavery on a brothel planet.  We now rejoin our unusual family for book two in their adventures as they make for the planet Quietus where Alana hopes to meet the author of her favourite romance novel.

Young Marko

We start with Hazel narrating a flashback to her father Marko's childhood.  She confirms he was born on Wreath which is at war with Landfall, but by the time of his birth the fight had been taken elsewhere in the galaxy.  Proxy wars waged "mostly by unlucky draftees or conscripts from other worlds."

The average family no longer gave the bloodshed much thought, but Marko didn't come from an ordinary family.  His first memory was his parents taking him to the site of the last battle on Wreath.  The message was "never forget those evil fucks with the wings".

We then return to the present.  Marko introduces Alana to his parents.  Alana yells at his mum for zapping Izabel.  Marko's mum says she just banished her to the nearest planetoid.  She thought they were Marko's captors.  Marko takes the magic helm and staff they have and says he has to go get their "babysitter" back.

He opens a rift and jumps through it.  His mother "Klara", follows.  Alana is left with his father "Barr" and they regard each other warily.

Alana: "Cool.  So glad I got to do all this in a towel."

Barr apologise for his wife's attitude.  Her mother was killed in "Langencamp".  Alana counters that her uncles were slaughtered at "Southmoor".  When Barr asks if she thought Landfall's response was appropriate she shuts the conversation down.  He asks her "the child.  Is it.. normal?"  Alana says she's "fucking perfect" and he should back off.  The rocketship then binds Barr in some vines.

The ship imprisons Barr.

Marko and his mum arrive on a ruined planetoid.  She scolds him for breaking his sword which allowed them to find him.  And that they had been visted by a Freelancer looking for him.  His father refused to believe Marko had gone AWOL and thought he had been kidnapped.  Marko asks how they afforded the magical items and she says they sold the house.  He says that was "stupid" and she slaps him.

She then calls Alana, "the kind of misguided rebellion you should have grown out of twenty years ago".  Then Marko dives on her, knocking her to the ground and he lies protectively on her as a huge flabby pale giant with an enormous gross scrotum and armed with a club has appeared.

Put some underpants on!

Meanwhile Prince Robot IV is travelling through space in the ship he took from the Freelancer, The Stalk after he killed her.  Another Freelancer, The Will is brooding on the Freelancer planet remembering his old lover who was... The Stalk.

On the wooden rocketship, Barr says he can use magic to free himself.  Alana says he needs a secret and she doesn't have any.  But Barr says:

Barr: "I have less than a month to live".

And he is freed.  Stammering, Alana says doesn't his wife know?  She doesn't.  Barr then casts a hypnosis spell on her, she hands over the baby mumbling "no please... don't.. hurt.. hazel.."  She passes out and Barr holds the baby lovingly saying it's a "beautiful goddam name."

Barr escapes.

The next chapter starts with a flashback to Alana's time in the Landfall military.  She has just finished reading the book "A Nighttime Smoke" and is enthusiastically recommending it to a colleague:

Alana: "The monster and the girl meet, but instead of trying to kill each other, they mostly just hang out and play board games, except sometimes they leave their apartment to eat sandwichs at the movies."

Her colleague is somewhat unenthused but takes the book.  Then Alana is sent to deal with prisoner #9763572 who is acting up.

Love at first sight. Kinda.

Of course this turns out to be Marko.  Their eyes meet and as Hazel narrates, "against all odds they had found the perfect person to share everything with."  Then Alana bashes him with the butt of her gun.  Hazel says "In romantic comedies this is called the 'meet-cute'".  Back on the rocketship Alana is still very sleepy and Barr says the ship has agreed to help him with his project.

On the planetoid, Klara goes to attack the blubbery giant, but Marko says no killing so they cast a binding spell on it instead.  He says he'll use his translation ring to question it.  When his mum says it's Gwendolyn's ring and at least she was the right team, "unlike that overgrown housefly you decided to bed down w-".  A lightning bolt strikes the ground next to her.

Marko: "That is the last time you EVER say a cruel word about the mother of my child."

Alana finally wakes up to find Hazel sleeping on her and a package at the end of the bed.  It turns out to be new clothes.  She finds Barr, who had found a spinning wheel on the ship and made the clothes for her.  They are "ray-proof and gunpowder-resistant" but not so good against bladed weapons, "so try not to get stabbed."

Alana's new threads.

She asks him about his illness, he says he has made his peace with it and kept it secret because he didn't want his final days to be filled with sorrow.  He smiles and says she talks in her sleep and it's obvious she loves his son very much.  She says he annoyed her at first, but when Barr asks why she risked everything to be with him she says:

Alana: "Because your son is so goddam beautiful".

Barr says looks don't last, she says she wasn't talking about his looks. Meanwhile on the planetoid, the fatso giant tells them he saw a phantom girl in the Shadow City.  But they won't find her before the "birth".  The planetoid is actually a massive egg about to hatch.

On the Freelancer planet, the being who organise the contracts is being bothered by someone from Wreathian High Command about the Freelancers they hired.  He says The Stalk is dead and The Will has some issues to work through.  The caller say they want to see The Will, face to face and the caller reveals herself to be right behind him.  She's a horned Wreathian woman who says "Hello.  My name is Gwendolyn." She's Marko's ex-fiancee.  Uh oh.

Meet Gwendolyn

The Will is having a dream where The Stalk is helping him save the Slave Girl he met on Sextillion.  Then Gwendolyn wakes him up somewhat dubious about him being, "the best Freelancer money can buy?  This is why I never trust reviews."

The Will notes her language skills and she shows him her translation necklace which was part of a set with the rings Alana and Marko have.  The Will says he will be bowing out of the job as he has "personal matters" he wants to attend to.  Gwendolyn asks if that includes killing Prince Robot IV to avenge The Stalk.  She tells him the Prince is also hunting Alana and Marko so if he stays on the job he'll get his chance to kill him.

Lying Cat always knows when you are lying.

He asks what this job means to her and she starts saying how Marko has brought shame upon Wreath, but The Will says she is in politics and likely doesn't belive that jingoistic crap so her and Marko must have history.  She says no, "Lying" says Lying Cat.  The Will asks if he broke her heart?  Eying Lying Cat she says it's more complex than that, "though not significantly."

The Will asks for six hundred and fifty thousand up front and she laughs in his face. He says he needs the cash to buy a little girl from Sextillion.  When Gwendolyn says that if she rescues this damsel in distress, "would you quit moping and get back to work?" He queries how she can rescue her.

Gwendolyn calls the head of Sextillion, "Mama Sun" from her ship and says she is from the Wreathian police and they have information that a six-year-old Wreath girl had her horns surgically removed so she could be sold on the black market.  If she isn't returned she'll leak the information and that the Landfall customers won't be happy that they may have had sex with a "moony".  Mama Sun says she'll neutralise the security elixir in the girl and they can pick her up in an hour from a planet called Indica.

The Will and Gwendolyn travel there and the Slave Girl is there as promised, but flanked by three aliens with the heads of star-nosed moles.  They say she has been tested and is no moony, so now they want thirty million for her.  The Will stabs one of them dead with a sword that elongates into a very long lance.  Lying Cat deals with a second.

Alien mole gangsters, sure why not?

The Will runs in and fights hand to hand with the third, but it starts to get the upper hand so Gwendolyn calls a lightning bolt down on it, half killing it.  They take the Slave Girl and leave.  Inside The Will says he'll return her to her parents, but Gwendolyn points out it was them who sold her in the first place. 

As they debate what to do with her, the girl appears and says Gwendolyn's necklace sounds sad, "it can sense its friends nearby."  They realise she can sense the rings Marko and Alana have which is very helpful as the sensors can't detect a wooden ship, and the girl points in the direction they need to go, "thataway".

We then flashback to the imprisoned Marko doing some hard labour while Alana "guards" him and reads her book to him.  He says about the book, "I don't understand.  It's like it was written just for me." He says it's not a love story, it's about the Wreath/Landfall war.  Alana says it's in code and the author is saying the war has gone on too long and needs to stop.  She tell him "secret book club has been the highlight of my career".  He says it's their last one as he is being sent to "Blacksite".  Alana is upset, no one comes back from there.

Marko: "It's all right Alana.  I had no illusions about my ultimate fate when I surrended.  I'm just grateful I got to meet someone like you first."

She breaks the chain holding him and tells him to run.  He says she'll be killed for letting him escape and then they kiss passionately.

Fanservice!

Back in the present, Marko and Klara are still looking for Izabel.  They encounter some weird aliens with upside down heads, but a huge red gorilla scares them off.  It transforms back into Izabel.

Izabel: "Just so you know, this is the third worst babysitting gig I've ever had."

She starts arguing with Marko's mum, but cracks appear in the ground.  The planet-egg is beginning to hatch.

On the ship, Alana runs to Barr holding Hazel saying she "broke her" because her umbilical cord nub fell off.  Amused, Bar says "congratulations.  Your daughter now has her very own belly button." Alana says she's not as bad at this mothering thing as she seems.  Barr reassures her that being a parent takes a lifetime to learn.  Then the others teleport back to the ship.

Izabel is found.

Marko says they have to get moving now, but the planet-egg hatches completely revealing a huge baby alien.  The lighting in the ship changes to red and Izabel says this means another ship is close by.  It's The Will's ship, he can't find the wooden rocketship on his instruments but Slave Girl says they are very close now.

The Will then sees the hatched alien and says "it's a timesuck" and they need to retreat.  Gwendolyn is unhappy and launches a heat seeking missile in the hope it'll find the rocket. Alana orders the rocket to ram the missle before it arms itself.  Barr reassures Klara that Alana knows what she is doing.

Before the missile gets far enough from The Will's ship to arm itself they "bounce" it off the rocket and this sends it into the path of the baby alien where it explodes.  The alien fires black beams at The Will's ship and rips a hole in the side of it, and Lying Cat gets sucked out into space.

Another flashback to Alana and Marko making sexy, sexy lurve.  Marko comes inside her and when Alana is alarmed at this he said she told him to.

Alana: "That was Sexy Alana!  She's a crazy person!  Sexy Alana is obssessed with her nipples and use the word 'dick' unironically.  She's not to be trusted!"

Horns, something to grab onto.  Handy.

They get dressed and Alana points out they should be more careful now they are wanted by two different armies.  She says she doesn't know if she can reproduce with Marko when he implies he wants a kid.  He said it would be a symbol of peace to have a child.  She says the idea is insane, what would they even call it?  Marko says he likes "Barr" after his dad.

Hazel: "In that moment my mother prayed with all her might that their firstborn would be a girl.  Some dreams really do come true."

Back in the present, they can't fly away from the giant space baby, it's sucking them in.  Marko takes Klara down to the engine room to rig something up. 

Meanwhile, The Will jumps out of his ship and grabs Lying Cat and uses his extendable lance-sword to latch back onto the ship and get both of them back inside.  He flies the ship away to safety.

I love a devoted cat owner.

In the wooden rocket, Klara says Marko should use the magic helm to get him, Alana and Hazel to safety, but Marko tosses it into the furnace.  Burning the exotic matter gives the ship enough energy to start to pull free, but it also starts to shake apart under the stress. Using magic, Barr holds the ship together.  But it puts strain on his heart and when the rocket gets to safety he slumps to the floor and dies.

On The Will's ship, Slave Girl is sleeping on Gwendolyn's lap and Lying Cat is washing herself none the worse for her trip into space.  The Will says they'll have to go and make repairs, but when he was outside he saw the rocket so he knows Slave Girl can track it for sure now.

Klara is chewing Marko out for burning their ticket back to Wreath but when they come up into the main room they are greeted by the sight of Alana trying to revive Barr.  Marko has a flashback to when he was a kid and his dad gave him a giant cricket he could ride on.  Then he and Klara kneel down and hold Barr.

Hazel: "The next morning they cremated my grandfather in the belly of our ship.  I still have a scrap of the outfit he made me.  These days I use it as a bookmark."

Barr doesn't make it.

Prince Robot IV is having some bad dreams about being injured in a battle and witnessing the gruesome death of a friendly medic.  He is roused by an incoming call from Landfall Secret Intelligence.  It is Agent Gale who wants to know why Alana is still running around free.  Prince Robot IV says he is nearly at Quietus where the author D. Oswald Heist is.  He believes "our war criminals may have been inspired in part by his work".

Gale says that will look stupid when he types it up in a report.  He says the Landfall President is seriously starting to question the level of support the Robot Kingdom is showing.  He then makes veiled threats against Prince Robot IV's pregnant wife, "just reminding you of the stakes IV" and he ends the call.

Adorable!

Prince Robot IV lands on Quietus and a small furry creature directs him to the lighthouse where Heist lives.  Heist lets him in and Prince Robot IV asks if he has been visted by someone from Wreath or a Landfall woman with child.  Heist does not answer his question, he asks "...what's this all about?"

Prince Robot IV says it's because of the book "A Nighttime Smoke".  Heist says, "that piece of shit?"  He says it's been out of print for ages and rightfully so.  When Prince Robot IV says it is a "veiled treatise on radical pacifism.. a compelling call to inaction" Heist is bemused.

D. Oswald Heist.

He says he wrote it for a quick paycheck, nothing more.  It's a dog's breakfast of a book.

Heist: "My sociopath of a second wife divorced me... so I shat out a draft of something they could slap a vaguely commercial cover on.  Honestly, I just wrote myself in circle until I hit an acceptable word count then sent it to an editor I hate."

He goes on to say "the reader is the final collaborator" though.  Thoughtful, Prince Robot IV looks at a picture of Heist's son.  He's dead, he was with the Landfall army at Threshold.  After a conversation about Prince Robot IV becoming a father he goes to leave.  Then he turns and asks Heist which battle his son died in.

Heist said he didn't.  He hanged himself after the war.  Prince Robot IV asks if that is why he wrote his "incediary little screed."  Heist pulls a gun on him but Prince Robot IV shoots him in the leg.  In a weird moment, Prince Robot IV kneels by Heist and gives him a pen and tells him to stab him in the neck with it.

Some serious  Lit Crit.

Heist tosses the pen away and says "fucking finish me off.  It'll only boost my sales."  But Prince Robot Iv says he is now more than convinced Alana and the others will come here and he is going to sit and wait.

Hazel: "Prince Robot IV was almost always right.  But he was dead wrong about my family coming to Quietus anytime soon.  We'd already been there a week".

And the final page of this volume shows Alana, Marko, Hazel, Klara and Izabel hiding in another room.

Zoinks!  How will they get out of this?

Saga continues with an on-going story that is exciting and compelling with fresh and naturalistic dialogue and wonderfully relatable characters.  I'm a sucker for couples who are deeply in love and Marko and Alana are great together.  Their love endures despite what seems like the whole universe trying to pull them apart.  I really feel scared for them and truly hope they will make it to the end of the series still together.  Alana's interactions with her father-in-law are very sweet and the kindly, doomed man is such a likeable character from the off that it's genuinely upsetting he dies even if he does it to save his family. Brian K.Vaughn's writing and the expertly way they are drawn makes even the "baddies" well-rounded and interesting, able to happily hold up plotlines of their own. Gwendolyn is a fun character and I can see why she wants to kick Marko's arse (can't wait for her and Alana to meet!) and her teaming up with The Will makes for a cool pairing. The Will continues to show that even feared bounty hunters have their soft sides, saving the Slave Girl and coming to Lying Cat's rescue when she is sucked into space.  Prince Robot IV isn't in it much, but he also shows he's a formidable and intelligent opponent by realising the book is a massive clue to where Alana and the others will want to go.  Now they are hiding out in the upstairs room, and with Prince Robot IV in no hurry to leave, how will they get out of their predicament?  If you aren't reading the books (and why aren't you?!) you'll have to wait until next month to find out.