The Punisher: Welcome Back Frank (#1-12) PART TWO

"I should have gone a long time ago" - Frank Castle

Welcome to part two of my look at Garth Ennis's first crack at The Punisher which managed to rescue a character from the laughing stock he'd been turned into by an ill-advised reinvention as a supernatural agent of Heaven redeeming himself by killing for God and which resulted in Ennis not only writing the character in the mainstream Marvel Universe but also writing the much acclaimed MAX run as covered by me previously.  After rejecting Heaven and picking up his guns to focus upon taking out the Gnucci Mafia family in New York, we closed out part one on cliffhanger where he'd been tracked down to the address he was living anonymously at as "John Smith" and although he'd taken out his attackers he passed out in a nearby alley after taking several bullets to the torso. Living in the same place are hyperactive "Spacker" Dave, the meek Joan and the obese Mr. Bumpo.  There is also a plotline with two cops, Lieutenant Molly Richtofen who has been tasked with taking down the Gnucci family and detective Martin Soap who has been tasked with catching The Punisher joining forces to wait until they take each other out before moving in and "arresting what's left".  There are also three men following Franks examples as vigilante killers, the snobbish "Elite", the class warrior "Payback" and the crazy priest "The Holy". On art duties are his Preacher collaborator Steve Dillon as penciller and Jimmy Palmiotti inking.  Time for the conclusion as the grotesque Ma Gnucci goes all out with her intentions to destroy The Punisher before he destroys her.

A somewhat inconvenienced Frank.

Frank comes to bleeding heavily, by sheer force of iron will he manages to rise to his feet and get back to the house.  We cut to the aftermant outside with several bodybags laid out and Molly and Soap at the scene.  Soap says to Molly they should have followed the Gnucci soldiers and been lead right to The Punisher.  Molly points out that he wouldn't have wanted to be around for this carnage.  The captain has also called to check out the vigilante killings uptown even though they aren't The Punisher's M.O.

We cut to Ma Gnucci who is mad that the men reporting to her didn't check The Punisher actually died.   She orders them to get back down there and find out which apartment is The Punisher's and if they stay alive and get it right she can call the other families and arrange for reinforcements.  We see Frank having reached his flat and says to himself all he has to do now is dig the bullets out, "how hard can that be" as he pitches forwards onto the floor.

We rejoin Molly and Soap at the church where The Holy in the guise of Catholic priest Hector Redondo has been killing criminals after they confess their sins.  They tell him that he's the one thing the men had in common which Hector agrees is a strange thing.  He tells them that he took their confessions regularly and he knew all five men.  "Four men" corrects Molly.  Hector says he can't break the seal of confession and we see inside the confession booth another man dead with an axe buried in his chest.

At the apartment building, Joan sees a trail of blood going into Frank's flat, she follows it querously asking if Mr. Smith (he's going by the name of "John Smith" here) is OK and he rises up behind her. We then cut to Elite who is telling a hot dog seller he doesn't want him in his neighbourhood and he puts a grenade inside his cart and blows it up.

Back with Frank, Joan pops her head round Dave's place and asks him to come help as Frank has passed out again.   When he sees "John Smith" is really The Punisher he is really excited.  Joan hasn't heard of The Punisher, she doesn't watch the news because it scares her.  He tells her what The Punisher does and she asks if they should call an ambulance.

Joan and Dave to the rescue.

Dave says that's not a good idea, they don't want him turned over to the cops. He decides they have to look after him themselves.  He took a first aid course so he thinks he can do it and also bad guys will probably come looking for him so they have to be careful, "anyone strange comes asking questions... we haven't seen anything okay?"  Joan agrees.  Between them they pick him up and set him on the bed.   Frank starts to come around and Dave excitedly says his secret's safe with them and he and Joan will look after him. "What?" thinks Frank.

We then see a woman interviewing the chairman of the Wall Street Investors about the antics of Payback.  But while he is talking Payback comes up and shoots him in the head then rants down the camera which is still broadcasting about his mission to take on corporate crime and defending the rights of the workers.  He then scarpers before the cops show up.

The two men Ma Gnucci tasked to find The Punisher walk to the house. One notes that now would be a good time to send "The Russian" which the other agrees is someone who would stand a chance against The Punisher.  They reach the house and Joan opens the door, they flash fake N.Y.P.D credentials but she says she lives alone in her flat, while we see Frank lying on her bed behind her.  They knock on Dave's door and he panics:

Dave: "Aaah!  You're not the cops!  I know who you are"  You're here for him, but, but I'm not saying anything! I'm not betraying The Punisher to punks like you!  So you can get lost you hear!"

One of the men responds with, "really".  We then return to Joan and the prone but concious Frank.  She asks him "why do you kill them?" Frank says he hates them   She says the thought it might be because he wanted to make the world a better place. As he lies there he thinks that of all the ways he could have checked out, "this has to be the dumbest."

The two men who spoke to Dave call Ma Gnucci saying they have a man who knows where The Punisher is.   They have him tied up and one of them has a pair of pliers.  They hang up and Ma Gnucci tells her goon to look for the contact details they have for The Russian.

In a local bar Soap is telling Molly the sorry story of his career so far.  She asks what's eating him and he says it's The Punisher being the latest in a string of disasters.  Molly reassures him that nothing will go wrong, The Punisher will come after Ma Gnucci, they just have to be patient.  The barman hits on her but she rejects his advances saying he's definitely not her type, which makes Soap smile.

FRank can still do the business even when seriously wounded.

Joan tells Frank that Dave is screaming, so Frank asks her to help him up. They stagger to Dave's flat where the two goons are pulling the piercings out of his face.  But he hasn't given Frank up.  Frank gets out his knife and when he knocks on the door and one of the men answers, he sticks him with the knife.  He falls to the floor with the now dead man, the other turns and Franks knife flies into his chest, "ballistic knife.  Spring loaded.  Old favourite of mine" thinks Frank. Poor Dave has had all his rings ripped out.

Back in the bar with Soap and Molly he asks how someone as young as her gets to be a lieutenant.  She says it was by being better than most people around her which wasn't difficult considering the rest of the department.  She says the rank and file are good people doing an impossible job, but the brass are all in bed with the scum they are supposed to be taking down.   Soap then starts to hit on her and she curtly tells him she's a lesbian.   He quickly changes the subject and then somewhat crushed orders some more drinks.

Frank is lying on the kitchen table.  He has called an alcoholic doctor who specialises in patching up wiseguys no questions asked.  He found his contact details in a dead man's wallet.  "Wanted to do this myself" he thinks, "but the boy's involved and he deserves the chance to keep his face".  The doctor downs some booze and asks if Frank wants anesthetic.  Frank says no and holds a pistol in one hand and a bullet between his teeth.  The doctor gets to work and Frank digs into a lifetime of blood and fire to keep him going.

Frank gets ready for surgery.

The doctor finishes patching up both Frank and Dave.  Frank pays him over double what they agreed and the doctor leaves. Frank asks Joan to walk Dave back to his apartment when he comes round.  He also tells Joan to call him Frank and she smiles to herself at that.

We cut to Kazakhstan.  A team of Green Beret's are about to take on The Russian in the house they tracked him down to.  We then get a sequence of panels showing the house as noise and gunshots ring out finally ending with one surviving Green Beret running out stark naked with a rifle bent round his neck calling for his mommy.  Inside the house we see the shadow of The Russian pick up the phone and it's Ma Gnucci, he says he'll be on the next plane to the U.S. "for you Ma.. anything".

It's now three weeks later.  Ma Gnucci is trying to get the other families to help with reinforcements.  But she is having no luck, none of them want to face The Punisher.  Angrily she calls them worthless cowardly scum.  But then some good news for her, "oh my dear, sweet Russian. I had almost lost all hope."

The Russian.

Frank has survived and now able to walk he's moving his armoury to a safehouse.  He leaves the flat and passes Mr. Bumpo carrying a stack of hot pizzas.  Mr. Bumpo tells him to "keep on punishing".  This makes Frank stop and asks what he means.  Mr. Bumpo says he knows all about him being The Punisher, somewhat annoyed Frank guesses that Dave told him.

Back with Ma Gnucci and The Russian, she asks why it took him three weeks to get here. He says he forgot he was wanted in forty-eight states, so when the plane was five miles above Canada he made the plane crash and he ended up confused for a while.  But he remembered, crossed the border and now he is here.   Ma Gnucci tells him she wants him to kill The Punisher and gives him a photo. She will give him ten million to do it.  He says it's a deal and she tells two reluctant goons to drive him to the apartment building in Manhattan The Punisher is holed up in.  He hugs one of them, crushing him to death leaving one to escort him.

Frank confronts Dave saying he told Mr. Bumpo who he really was.  Dave said he couldn't resist, the whole thing is just too cool. Also he says that Mr. Bumpo deserved to know it's dangeround for him too.  Frank says he's leaving.  Dave says he can't, having him here is awesome.  But Frank sternly says that if he's not out of here before Ma. Gnucci's boys come after him he, Mr. Bumpo and Joan will die in the crossfire.  Because of the pain Dave took for him he won't threaten him with death, he's going to trust him to stay quiet "and call it even, okay?"

A TV report on the vigilantes of New York.

Molly and Soap are still on stake-out duty at Ma Gnucci's and they spot The Russian being driven away.  Molly says they need to go to the lab.  On the news is a story about the various vigilantes.  All three are watching it and it gives them all the same idea.  Frank merely says, "uh-huh".

In the bar Molly has The Russian's dossier.  She says he's "a walking death camp". They look over photos of the various atrocities he's committed, and Molly says everyone wants him - the Feds, the D.E.A, every state force and sheriff's department, Interpol and so on.  He first shows up in Afghanistan on holiday during the Russian invasion. Then he just goes everywhere there's trouble, Lebanon, Iraq, East Timor, Chechnya, Balkans, Belfast and that's not counting his normal criminal activity.

Molly: "Sometimes he does it for money.  Sometimes just for fun.  Pretty much everyone wants to kill him... and now he's our problem."

Ma Gnucci's brought him in to deal with The Punisher. Now they have two choices.  They can call in tactical and immediately lose their case as well as triggering an enormous bloodbath. Or they can leave The Punisher to The Russian and "then we step in and arrest what's left: right? Why me lord?" groans Soap.   Molly says give it twenty-four hours.  Soap orders more alcohol.

Joan confesses to Frank.

Joan comes to see Frank saying she heard he was leaving.   He tells her he doesn't want to put them in danger.  She says she doesn't feel like she is in danger "ever since I found out who you really are I've felt safe for the first time in my life."  She says she doesn't like the city, it's dark and frightening and she doesn't feel safe walking to the end of the street.

He asks why she doesn't leave.  She says she'd love to have a house in the country with a pond and ducks and a dog to throw sticks for.

Frank: "Then you should just go.  You're right about this city, Joan.  It is a bad place.  Bad things do happen  Just go."

She says she's scared to. She doesn't have enough money and she is scared to think about changing her life.  Why does Frank stay?  "Because I like it" he replies.  "This is a terrible world" says Joan. And as we see The Russian approach the house Frank says "Yes Joan. It's a nightmare."

The next chapter starts with Frank taking a punch to the face after answering his door without checking who was calling.   He is knocked face down and The Russian treads on the back of his head before picking him up and smashing him through a wooden panel.

Frank Vs Russian round one.

Elsewhere Ma Gnucci is on the phone to the Mayor and tells him that as the cops did nothing about The Punisher she's had to bring in some outside help.  Now a certain building is going to become a charnel house and there better be no interference.  And "not a whisper of my name in the ensuing investigation".  If they have a problem with that they better remember she has photos of him and the commissioner on their fact finding tour of Vegas.  She tells the Mayor to stop whimpering and hangs up.

The Russian goes to jump on Frank who puts a boot up which smashes into The Russian's groin.   This makes him pause for a moment, then he helps Frank up who grabs a chair and smashes it over The Russian's head.  The Russian leaves for a moment then comes back with the toilet which he smashes a dazed Frank in the face with.

Soap and Molly are back staking out Ma Gnucci's place.  Soap is having a bit of a tearful breakdown.  He says her plan was stupid and they are doomed, Ma Gnucci and The Russian are going to cause havoc and it'll be his fault and he'll get fired and jailed and they'll do terrible things to him in prison and also his partner is a lesbian and she'll never falll in love with him.

She tells him, "now stop whing, you loser."  She says they are both losers, he's the unluckiest cop on the force and she refuses to sleep her way to the top. They are expected to fail, they have no back-up and no support only what they can do themselves, "and if that means doing something crazy... so be it."  Soap looks at her in awe, "you're... you're so decisive." She tells him to shut up and watch the house.

Back at the fight.  Frank pulls out his boot knife and stabs The Russian, which doesn't faze him at all.  Meanwhile Elite is executing a drug dealer on his turf and is being watched by Payback in his car.  Frank has had his head jammed in the fridge and The Russian is banging the door repeatedly on him. 

Ah the old head in firdge door gag.

Payback meanwhile speaks with Elite saying that they should team-up.  Elite isn't sure as they focus on such different targets, but Payback points out they both do what the cops can't or won't.  Elite takes the poin and gets in the car.  They head for Spanish Harlem to try and find the axeman, and then find the big man himself - The Punisher.

Who is being soundly thrashed.  The Russian bangs his head on the cooker and Frank lights up a ring burning The Russian's hand and making him howl in pain.  Frank makes a note to remember he doesn't like heat.  Elite and Payback are crusing around arguing about their differing ideals when an injured man comes out of the church chased by Hector with a bloody axe.  Elite shoots the man dead.  Hector is pleased to see them, and they make a pact to work together and also find The Punisher to lead them.

Frank lies on the kitchen floor, The Russian says "end of round one".  He starts singing the praises of American superheroes and that when he is done here he'll go looking for autographs.  Frank spots a gun under the cooker and crawls over to get it.  But as he picks it up, The Russian takes it off him and snaps it in half, then says "Okey-dokey, big boy.  Seconds away.  Round two."

Uh oh.

He throws Frank through the apartement door and out into the corridor. Joan and Dave come to see and The Russian comes out and sees them:

The Russian: "Ah!  These are your little friends, yes? When The Russian gets through with you, imagine the terrible things that will happen to them!"

Frank yells for them to go, and then gets punched through Mr. Bumpo's door where he is feasting on fresh pizza.  Landing by Mr. Bumpo Frank asks if it is hot?  Mr. Bumpo says yes and as The Russian bears down on him he slings a pizza in his face causing him to react in great pain.

Frank trips him up as he claws the burning melted cheese of his face and as The Russian lays face up on the floor, Frank pushes Mr. Bumpo on top of him and suffocates him.  He asks how long it's been and Mr. Bumpo says about twenty mintes.  "We'll give it another ten" says the tired Frank.

A very American way to go.

In the church Payback and Elite are having major ideological differences.  Elite says Payback is a "whining commie" and Payback says Elite is a "spoiled, rich creep". Hector tells them to cut it out and gets furious:

Hector: "You two idiots had better start shaping up before the wrath of God descends!  I'm not kidding!  We've got to get this together! Because right now, if we ask The Punisher to join this little band, the our particular battle for justice will be over before it's begun!"

Speaking of The Punisher, The Russian is dead and Frank says "he got me mad."  He tells Mr. Bumpo, Joan and Dave to go inside and lock their doors and not come out until he is gone.   "How do you do it Frank?" asks Joan.  He says it's a simple as her desire to live in the country.

Frank then throttles the goon who drove The Russian there and with something in a bag, takes the wheel and starts to drive to the Gnucci HQ.  Ma Gnucci is convinced The Russian will be back soon with The Punisher's head.   Outside Soap and Molly are still watching, Soap says the hunt for The Punisher is being called off, which Molly realises means the Gnucci's know he's dead  But the "dead" Punisher drives past them at that moment and Molly is gleeful, "go Punisher! Go Punisher! I knew he wouldn't let us down."

In the church Hector tells the other two they need to confront evil, every monster every piece of scum, "we have to go out and kill it."  He puts out his hand saying it's the judgement of The Holy.  Payback puts his hand on saying they need The Punisher's weapons and expertise.  Elite adds his hand saying he'll be their leader.  Hector says he'll lead a crusade to cleanse the city of its sin as well as casting the moneylenders from their temples, "he will lead The Vigilante Squad".

Frank goes to confront Ma Gnucci.

Ma Gnucci is getting antsy waiting for The Russian, he should have been finished hours ago.   One of her men carries her to the window and she looks out to see Frank holding The Russian's head and a sub-machine gun and he yells, "is this all you've got?!!"  At that all the goons stationed outside drop their weapons and walk away as do the ones inside, leaving a ranting Ma Gnucci completely helpless to do anything but scream in impotent rage.

Inside her room Frank starts pouring petrol all over the floor.   She wants to know why he is burning the place down, "talk to me, you pig!"

Frank: "Because I want you gone from the face of this Earth".

Ma Gnucci: "You scum! You vicious evil scum!  You're no better than I am, Punisher!"

She keeps ranting at him saying he isn't on the side of justice, he's a serial killer and insane.  He's a mass murderer and he should put a bullet in his own head to get peace for himself.  "You are damned!" she shouts.  "Tell me something I don't know" says Frank, now outside the house and he tosses a grenade through a window and the place starts to burn.

The end of the Gnucci family.

Ma Gnucci manages to force herself out of the window and crawls to Frank and bites his ankles, but he boots her hard back into the flaming inferno and she burns to death.   Soap and Molly sneak up to find their big arrest has gone up in flames.  A vexed Soap says he shouldn't have listened to her, "gaze on our triumph" he says sarcastically.

Frank appears behind them, Soap whimpers that he doesn't want to die. Frank tells him not to do anything stupid then.  He asks for any information they have on the copycat vigilantes. They say they don't have much.   Frank tells him he blew open Ma. Gnucci's safe. He found a million dollars which he is keeping, and also found some photographs. When Molly asks what kind he says "The career-making kinds".   In exchange for all they have on Elite, Payback and the axeman they'll get the photos.

He then departs as more cops arrive. As the fire is brought under control they look at the photos he gave them.   And it's the incriminating ones of the Mayor and the Commisioner doing something extremely blackmailable.  Molly and Soap both exchange broad grins upon this discovery.

Our intrepid cops get their happy ending.

We jump forward a month.  In Franks old apartment building Joan ventures out thinking she heard Frank.  Mr. Bumpo walks up and points out his door is open.  They go inside but find the place empty, Joan says sadly he won't ever be back and she'll always be trapped here and scared.  Then Mr. Bumpo spots a table and piled on it is massive amounts of cash with their names on top.  The card ontop of Joan's pile read "Joan.  Just go.  Frank". And she smiles happily while Mr. Bumpo and Dave celebrate loudly.  Outside listening is Frank

Frank. "Best I can do Joan. Dave.  Mr. Bumpo.  Maybe I am damned.  But I'm not dragging you good people down with me".

And he walks away.  Meanwhile, thanks to the photos Soap is the new commisioner.  He is looking at a photo of a beautiful woman and Molly has written on the back "Might stay an extra couple of weeks".  She is running for mayor herself and Soap sets up future meetings between them.

He asks the receptionist where the previous commissioner kept his cigars.  She says that he took his after he left in a hurry, but she took the liberty of leaving a new box for him.  He lights up and goes and stands on the balcony.

Soap: "I love this city.  Heck, even a loser like me can blackmail his way to the top. And now I'm going to give this place the N.Y.P.D it's always deserved".

At that moment a bird craps on his face.  As shit runs down his cheeks he just smiles and says, "...man.  I love this town."

Frank is dealing with the vigilante killers as loose ends.  Elite seems to have quit his patch and Payback could hit anywhere.  So that leaves The Axeman.  He finds the church they all went for confession to with Hector Redondo.  The three of them are still arguing, with Elite and Payback still at ideological odds and Hector caught in the middle.  Then suddenly Frank appears and Hector says "I knew you'd come.  It was inevitable".  Frank scowls, saying "It certainly was".

They say that he inspired them and now he can lead them.  This bemuses Frank who points out that Hector is a "lunatic".  Elite is a "Nazi" and Payback, does the name Maria Lopez mean anything to him?  She was a cleaner at World Wide investments and was killed when one of his bullets went through a wall.  She's one of four innocents who have been caught in Payback's crossfire because he couldn't be bothered to plan properly.

Payback mumbles that there have to be sacrifices in war.  Frank readies his gun.  The three of them say they thought he'd be with them.  They have it all worked out, The Vigilante Squad with secret plans and codewords and passwords and things.  They can punish the guilty, clean up the city once and for all.  Hector yells, "In heaven's name man! Isn't this exactly what you wanted?"  Frank opens fire on them saying just "No".  And that brings this storyline to an end.

Frank is the only vigilante the city needs.

A great ending to this revitalisation of good old Frank Castle, doing what he does best.  Although there is a grotesque aspect to elements of the story, like Ma Gnucci's being just a torso and the indestructability of The Russin taken out by an obese New Yorker, there is also a sweetness here as well.  His dealings with his neighbours are lovely, especially Joan and giving them the money to realise their dreams at the end was a gorgeous gesture.  As he said himself, people like that, who looked after him, refused to give up his name under torture and helped kill the unkillable man deserve to have a chance to live the lives they want and not live in danger thanks to him. The final fate of Ma Gnucci was quite reminsicent of what happened to a bad guy in Preacher, but she totally deserved it.  The two other plot threads running through the story were fun,  poor Soap seeing what he is tasked to do being dragged into Molly's cunning plans.  And yet it did pay off with the deal for the photos and now the N.Y.P.D and Mayor's office might just be a little less corrupt now the tainted people have gone and the Gnucci family influence destroyed. Elite, Payback and The Holy trying to form a sort of Superfriends team of vigilantes was always going to come to a sticky end when Frank tracked them down.  He might be dedicated to wiping out criminal scum, but he needs no help and no people who will allow the deaths of innocents or people guilty of lesser crimes.  All-in-all this was a triumph for Garth Ennis, with his trademark balance of The Punisher's killer side and more human side makng the character eminently readable.  Artwise it's great as well, Palmiotti appears to be a light touch inker as the art is recgonisably the late Steve Dillon's.  So if you're a fan of the Punisher this is well worth a read as a salutory lesson in how to take a character who'd become a joke and make him viable again.  Superb stuff.

The Punisher: Welcome Back Frank (#1-12) PART ONE

"Nothing stops me.  Nothing" - Frank Castle.

Time for more Garth Ennis I think, we haven't had him on here in a while.  Now regular readers of this blog will know I covered Ennis's seminal Punisher run on the mature readers label MAX.  However that was not the first time he wrote for good old Frank Castle, he was actually hired to write a reboot of the character in the mainstream Marvelverse in the year 2000 coming off the back of his acclaimed DC Vertigo series Preacher.  The reason it's called "Welcome Back Frank" was that the Punisher had fallen into a notorious Dork Age. Frank had killed himself then an angel had brought him back to kill villains and earn his way back into Heaven using his supernatural guns.  Unlike the awesome "Franken-Castle" storyline, Angel Punisher was desgined to be a permanant change for the character but was so derided by fandom that Marvel quickly decided a rethink was needed and Ennis was brought in to return the character to his roots and make him a viable character again.  And he did this with aplomb, dealing with Frank's rejection of his Angel self and God-given mission in a few pages and then threw him into a storyline in which he takes on the worst of the New York Mafia that won back the crowd for the character and lead to Ennis being allowed free reign during the rest of his run and on Punisher MAX as well. The artists for this story are his Preacher collaborator Steve Dillon on pencils and Jimmy Palmiotti on inking duty.  As this storyline is twelve issues long I have split it into two posts. Let's crack on shall we?

We begin with Frank at a drug deal where he has killed all but one of the particpants who he holds a gun to and says "and get a haircut" too.  Then he leaves and the man excitedly recounts what happened to someone over his mobile phone which was that Frank came in all guns blazing and he's been left alive and oh he now has a tonne of money and all of the drugs enough to set them up for the rest of their lives! Then he senses Frank behind him and realizing what's about to happen, says farewell.  Frank breaks his neck, doses the cash and guns in petrol and sets it all ablaze and walkes away.

Spacker Dave and Mr. Bumpo.

Later he returns in his civilian wear to where he is living.  A small set of flats each one inhabited by a different person.  There's the massively facially pierced "Spacker Dave" who sits out on the stoop all day.  The very obese "Mr. Bumpo" and "Joan" a very timid young woman.  He says hello to all of them and returns to his rooms thinking he uses the alias John Smith"whatever works."

He ruminates that he's back to acting alone, no "Microchip" no fancy ammo, no battle-vans, no surveillance, "just the basics".  He been gone a while, "the scum in the city need a wake-up call and here it comes."  And we cut to the local morgue where the bullet ridden burned corpse of Frank's victim is having revenge sworn over him by his brother "Bobby Gnucci".  Frank enters the morgue and the coroner asks him for one hundred bucks to see the body too.  Frank stuffs him in a locker.

He enters the room and the mobsters tell him to get lost, but Frank goes for his guns, "first they do is freeze.  Like always.  So number one's a freebie."  He opens fire with his shotgun saying the rest he "pays full price for".  The bullets fly and he takes them all down finishing them off with a grenade.  He tells them he has a message, "listen".

Walking away from the scene he thinks they need to remember the terror every time they picked up the phone "because you knew I was out there".  The message is one for all scum but the Gnucci's are a good place to start.  He queues to get into the Empire State Buiding as he reflects that Sticky Eddie was the dealer who liked to choke rivals in their own blood.  Brother Bobbie was a date-rapist.  And Carlo is "Ma Gnucci's number one son."

He's been tailing him since he left a club, he can't have heard about Bobbie yet.  He's taking a woman to the one-hundreth and fourth floor, deck closed tonight apart from a select few.  Carlo slips the manager an envelope and takes a woman up there, he disables the manager and follows them.  He sneaks in telling the woman to shush.

Welcome Back Frank indeed.

Carlo turns and she's gone but the window is open. Confused he leans out and the Punisher grabs him from above  and ties him up before holding him above his head.

Frank: "I caught a glimpse of Heaven once.  The angels showed me.  The idea was I'd kill for them.  Clean up their mistakes on Earth. Eventually redeem myself.  Tried it.  Didn't like it."

And we see him pitch Carlo off the building.  He then thinks that he was taken up to see his wife and daughter and son all finally at peace.  "Then I was cast down", back into a world where rapists, psychos, perverts a brand new evil every minute spewed out as fasts as men can think them up.  The world where pitching a criminal dwarf of a skyscraper to tell the criminal scum was a sane and rational act, "the angels thought it would be Hell for me.  But they were WRONG.  Welcome back Frank says New York City".

We begin the next chapter with the police commissioner on the phone to the mayor as he demands the police turn up the heat on the Punisher reminding him that incriminating photos exist of him and the commissioner on a fact finding tour in Las Vegas.  After he signs of one of the cops says "Gnucci's must be turning up the heat."  The commissioner grumbles that putting his best men on the case will get laughed in his face, then he suddenly says "wait a minute.  Get me Soap."

Then a man called Joe, cousin to Ma Gnucci goes to a meeting in Little Italy to inform the men there that the N.Y.P.D. has been enlisted to do all they can to find the Punisher and when the cuffs go on, "one of you gentlemen will cancel The Punisher's ticket."  Listening to them discretely is Frank, having a meal with a sex worker as cover. He hands out envelopes of cash and then tells them to come back tonight and they'll have all the weapons they need.  Frank gets up to leave and tells the sex-worker to forget this ever happened.

Detective Martin Soap.

Back at the police station a down trodden looking man called Martin Soap is beng told by the Captain that his run of bad luck with cases is about to run out as he's going to be put in charge of finding and arresting The Punisher.   After the meeting he mopes about how the hell he is supposed to find The Punisher when "every cop in the department loves him."  He shown to his office by the Lieutenant whic is jammed full of files in boxes, he's told he's heading up a task force who are going to be meeting him at the crime scene.

Frank stalks his prey, which are the men handed those envelopes.  The first to die is " Harry 'Neck' Thorton".  It is said he outshot four State Troopers, "dodged a bullet.  But not thirty" as he opens up on him with his machine gun.  Then there is "Eddie Lau", expert martial artist, Frank knows a little, but his favourite is "splat fu" as he pushes Lau in front of an underground train. Then there is "Tall Joe Small".  Sniper who capped fifty guys in Desert Storm.   As he runs him over he thinks that the trouble with that was was that it wasn't Vietnam a war where "you don't fight dirty. You do things that make dirty look good."

Soap arrives at the scene of Carlo's death and meets a nervous looking man called "Buddy Plug. Most people call me Bud.  I'm the rest of the taskforce."  Soap tells him they got given the case because they don't have a hope in solvng it.  It's the Captains way of the Captain saying "you got it boss and drop dead to the commissioner simultaneously".  He says well it can't get any worse.  Then Bud reveals he's not a cop he's a "Behavioural Psychologist."

Joan.

Back at Frank's place, Joan presents him with a plate of cookies saying she baked too many and didn't want them to go to waste.  Frank thinks if he takes them she might come back and want to talk.  He doesn't take them and she has a nervous breakdown on the spot.  So he takes them.   As he sits sharpening his knife he eats one and thinks they are actually pretty good cookies.  He leaves going past Mr. Bumpo getting several pizza's delivered and Spacker Dave out on the stoop.

It's ten-thirty and Joe is waiting for the three now deceased hitmen to come.  Joe looks out his side windown grumbling about how unproffesional they are as Frank dispatches the man in the driver's seat next to him.  Joe looks back round and is rendered speechless on seeing him sat there.  He tells Joe to lose the piece and to put his boss on speaker phone.  Ma Gnucci picks up and asks who the hell it is and Joe stutters it's him and The Punisher.

Frank tells her that he thought he let her know his plan so she could plan her funeral in advance, "I got your sons.  I got your killers.  Now I've got your "man-behind-the-man".  Or the "man-behind-the-hag in your case". Then he tells Joe to get out of the car currently speeding down the freeway.  Joe wails that he will die, he's got to gve him a chance.  Frank points a gun at his head so Joe tumbles out of the car, survives the initial impact on the road, but is then run over by an eighteen-wheeler.

Frank notes that Ma Gnucci is screaming blue murder now.  He'll take the guns for himself and ditch the limo in the Hudson river, "almost the end of a rich, full day."  We then cut to a young Catholic priest taking a confession from a gangbanger who tells him all sorts of sordid things.  In a rage he grabs an axe and chops the gangbanger to bits in the Confessional yelling that he'll absolve him all right. When he is done he snaps out of it and says "Oh God forgive me.  I've done it again".

Hector Redondo does his thing.

Next chapter begins with Frank deciding he needs to thin out the army Ma Gnucci has around her.  He goes to a wiseguy bar and shoots the cars parked outside.  When the Gnucci soldiers come rushing out they get what's left in the belt of his assault rifle. Then he unleashes a flame thrower and burns some more.  He then runs saying the flamer is lousy for a prolonged firefight, to much of  a risk in it taking a bullet to the tank.  But he runs into a building and those following see the lift go down.  They race down the stairs to catch The Punisher and open fire as the lift opens, which only has the flamer in it and the die in a firey explosion.  "That's my boys" thinks The Punisher.

Back with Soap, he is reading Bud's psychological profile of The Punisher which is full of the usual psychobabble.  Soap says to him,"don't take this the wrong way Bud... but what does all this actually mean?"  Bud says he thought it would help understand his motives.  Soap says they know his motives, "he kills criminals because he hates them. It's not exactly brain surgery"  He wants more on his methods so Bud should look into that in finding where he'll strike next.  And he leaves the office with an upset Bud left behind.

Cut to the priest.  His name is Hector Redondo and a daft old woman with poor eyesight comes in to clean the church even though it's the wrong say.  She sees the blood and thinks Hector spilled the communion wine and despite Hector telling her she's here on the wrong day she is mostly deaf too and gets to work cleaning up.

Frank returns him, greets Spacker Dave, see's Mr. Bumpo getting a new toilet delivered and tells Joan he liked the cookies.  Inside his rooms he thinks about Ma Gnucci's brother standing trial tommorrow, this time for a crime he didn't do.  He has the slickest defence lawyers in the city and we see a newspaper telling us it's Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson on his case.  He wants Dino dead before Ma Gnucci because Dino would "bathe New York in blood."  So his real problem now is Matt Murdock and "the Guardian Angel that follows him everywhere".

Back with Soap, he returns to his office and finds Bud has committed suicide by hanging himself from the ceiling using his tie. The Punisher is waiting on a roof close to the jail. Apparently Murdock made mincemeat of the prosecution.  Dino is on his way back to the jail in an unmarked car.  He arrives in seven minutes and dies in ten.  He realises as one of Daredevil's billy clubs bounces off the wall next to him that he'll need every second.

heh heh heh "fap".

Daredevil asks if he ever stops.  He knows Dino Gnucci is a monster but he should fall according to the law and not shot down like a street dog.  Frank says he knows these speeches of his by heart. So Daredevil jumps down and starts pummeling him.  Frank thinks that he's giving him the first round which is easy because in a straight fight he never stands a chance against him.

He thinks that Daredevil is not the enemy but he's sick of his self righteousness and he deserves "a wake up call".  He rigged an ultrasonic device an hour ago and it goes off overwhelming Daredevil's supersenses.  Frank then punches him out.  Daredevil wakes chained securely to a post and a gun taped to his hand.

Frank: "One bullet.  One shot.  Once chance to stop me killing Dino Gnucci. It's time for that choice you were telling me about."

He's got his back to him and he's wearing kevlar, so it'll have to be a headshot.  If he doesn't shoot he has a death he could have prevented on his conscience.  If he does shoot he's a killer. 

Daredevil asks what kind of choice is that?  Frank says "the one I make every time I pull the trigger." Dardevil says he won't kill him.  Dino Gnucci is a dead man then says Frank.  Daredevil begs him saying Dino deserves to be taken off the street for something he's done.  We have laws otherwise the society they have built is completely worthless. "The thought of Dino living one more minute is enough to drive me insane" responds Frank.  Daredevil cocks the hammer, "that's the spirit" says Frank.

Daredevil given an impossible choice for him.

Daredevil keeps begging Frank to not put him in this position but Frank starts commentating on Dino getting out of the car. Finally Daredevil says "God forgive me" and pulls the trigger  But the firing pin had been removed.  Frank assassinates Dino then punches Daredevil out saying the chains will be gone when he wakes up.  The chapter ends with Hector praying to God for guidance to help him with his psycotic episodes.  Then another gangbanger walks in saying he has some "real bad sins" he wants to confesss to and Hector's face contorts in rage saying "of course my son.  For I am The Holy."

The next chapter starts with Soap's captain reading out Buds suicide note that all his life he felt rejection all his life in many forms and Soap's was the last straw.  "Jeez Soap" laughs the Captain, "what did you say to this guy?"

Cut to Frank taking a bullet to the side, ribs and shoulder thinking "that's the sound of my luck running out".  He was scoping out Ma Gnucci, getting a look at her security teams, he wasn't even going to hit her tonight.   But he was discovered and he only has a forty-five and the man who saw him had a sub-machine gun, "my night goes downhill from there."

Ma Gnucci.

Ma Gnucci gets out of her car and orders her men to kill him, "he killed my sons!  he killed my brother!  I want his head!". Three armed men follow the trail of blood into the closed Central Park zoo. Frank hides thinkng the shot to his ribs is the killer.  He realises he's going to have to use what's to hand to kill them and it's the one who made him who walks through the door.  Frank leaps out quickly grabs him and upends him into a tank full of pirahnas. Who start to tuck in.

When the other two men come in first thing they see is the stripped, bloody skeleton of their comrade.  Frank goes deeper into the zoo and finds a snake which he gets to squeeze the life out of one of the other men.  Ma Gnucci catches up demanding to know what they are up to.

Back at the precinct a Lieutenant called Molly Richthofen pokes her head around Soap's door telling him to call her Molly, "I'm the first piece of luck you've had all day."  She lights a cigarette and says he's the departments biggest loser and she's it's biggest embarrassment, "want to prove everybody wrong, crack both cases and then take over the world?" 

Molly, meet Soap.

Soap asks about the whole "biggest embarressment" thing.  She says she refused to sleep with the commissioner which she said at a press conference when the mic was still on.  As a special thankyou he's assigned her to take down the Gnucci family. Which is a farce as half of city hall and the department are in bed with them.  She is a taskforce of one.  And as the Punisher is working his way through them, they should team up.

We return to Frank, he thinks that he has to close this down soon as he's lost too much blood and the cops will be here soon.   He climbs into the polar bear enclosure taking another hit as he does so.  He looks around at something he can use as a weapon and spies the bears themselves.  One wakes up and he punches it hard in the face then quickly climbs out to escape the now enraged bear.  Ma Gnucci and the final goon have climbed in after him and the bears turn on them.  Frank looks back to enjoy the sight of them getting ripped apart, "oh yes.  It's one of the greats."  Then he scarpers as he hears sirens in the distance.

Hector is burying another murdered gangbanger and prays to God again saying God has forsaken him, he could have fought ths madness with His strength but He ignored him and now several people are dead by his hand. Hector asks for anything that could be taken as a sign of what to do now.  A newspaper then blows in his face with a headline about The Punisher and Hector takes that as the sign he needs, "now I see.  I am no longer alone."

The chapter ends with Molly and Soap arriving at the Central Park carnage site.  Molly thinks that it looks like her problems are all over. "So much for the titanic team-up" says Soap.  But then they see someone being taken away in an ambulance.  The cop there says the three creeps are dead, "Ma Gnucci is still alive."

The somewhat diminished Ma Gnucci.

We cut to ten days later.  Ma Gnucci is back home minus arm and legs and hair.  One cousin asks how she is doing and she orders him shot in the head for asking a stupid question.  When the man queries this she asks a second man to shoot both of them in the head. When they won't she demands a third man to kill all of them, and despite their pleas, he does so.

Ma Gnucci: "Ten days ago I was fed to a pack of polar bears.  Anyone doubting I mean what I say would do well to remember that.  Clean up this mess and let's get down to business."

Her goons tell her that finding The Punisher has always been impossible.  So she puts a ten million dollar bounty on his head.

Back at Frank's home, Mr. Bumpo is being taken to hospital via a hole in the wall as he had a coronary and they couldn't get him out through the door.  He tells Bumpo to take it easy and returns to his rooms.  He's been recovering from the bullets that hit him.  But tonight he's going looking for trouble.  Ma Gnucci living was a shock, "old witch is blessed by the devil himself."  Then there is a knock on the door.  He holds a gun behind his back but it's only Joan saying she baked too many pies.

Molly and Soap go to a bar called "Lucky's".  He says it's nice and quiet and the food's cheap. Molly says that her guess will be that Ma Gnucci will hole up while her people hunt The Punisher.  She'll be hoping they get to him before he gets to her.  So if the stake out her place they can be there on the spot when The Punisher shows.  They sit back, watch the massacre and step in and rest whatever is leftover.  She asks if Soap is in or out with this plan?

Before we see his answer we're back with Hector murdering another confessor.  The mostly blind and deaf old woman comes to do the cleaning and Hector tells her outright he killed the man for beating his wife and taking cocaine.  She doesn't register that and goes to clean up. Hector smiles and thanks God for showing him The Punisher, "for showing me I'm not alone."

Elsewhere in a corporate boardroom meeting for Worldwide Investment Corporation, a rough looking man with a mask appears and tells them his name is "Payback".  He accuses them of having millions of gallons of blood on their hands and when one protests he shoots him.   He say they invested in a company that built substandard aircraft and many people dies in a plane crash as a result.  A lawsuit closed down a Kentucky factory cost a thousand people their jobs, and the town became a crime ridden slum.

Another vigilante, Payback.

They set up shop in Taiwan with some of the lowest standards on the planet and colluded with local authorities in the murder of over a hundred union organizers killed by death squads. They are criminal scum, "lower than the filthiest hood on the street!  You are guilty! And now it's time for Payback".  And he fires on them with a submachine gun.

Somewhere else in a nice neighbourhood a masked vigilante called "Elite" is patrolling the street.  He sees some drug dealers sitting in a car saying perhaps they could find somewhere else to deal drugs. They tell him to drop dead.  He responds that crime is minimal here, property values are very high, he won't let them conduct their business within a ten clock radius. "I want you trash to leave because you lower the tone." 

Then he shoots them all in the face with a silenced pistol and walks off thinking "peasants". He bumps into a woman whose dog is urinating on the pavement. He introduce himself to her as Elite and then he shoots the dog saying it's a nice neighbourhood so lets keep it that way.

And Elite.

Back with Frank, he's been walking the streets all night but all is quiet. He says Guiliani has a lot to answer for in bringing the crime rates down.   Then a mugger appears, Frank deals with him by jamming him head first into a garbage can and decides he's as healed as he's going to get.

Frank: "Tomorrow I finish the job I started.  Here I come, Ma.  Ready or not."

We then cut to Ma Gnucci and the first bit of good news for her.  A stuttering man has be brought to her saying he's got information on The Punisher, "he lives right across the road from me."

The weasely man goes onto say he was coming home from his job at an adult bookstore and it was late because they close at midnight.  And he glances up to see a dude staggering down the street, he see's the Skull shirt and the blood and realises that it really is The Punisher, "an' I just about wet myself."

The weasely man then carries on saying he say him cross the street, fall down a few times then go into the building opposite his.  He watched him come and go for a week wondering what to do about it and then heard of the ten million bucks reward.  She says the ten million is for killing him, if his information is true it's worth ten thousand.  She sends Billy and Benny with him to check it out, if he's wrong "make it a messy one."

There is now a double page spread of the news broadcasting a report on the killers who have cropped up since The Punisher came back in the scene.   It reports on Payback and Elite's murders as well as the mysterious deaths of all the Catholic criminals marked on their foreheads with the sign of the cross.  Vox pops seem to show support for the killers, The Punisher most of all except for one who says they are a "bunch of fascist lunatics!  The Punisher's the worst of the lot."

Inside a helicopter are two executives from the company Payback is targetting.   The C.E.O admits that everything Payback said was true and they need to stop him before people start looking into their company more closely.  But as they fly they see Payback with a rocket launcher and he fires on the helicopter, destroying it.

More gang members arrive on Elite's patch intending to show him "what time it is." But using a sniper rifle out of his bedroom windown he headshots all three of them.   He then stashes the rifle in a secret compartment in his bathroom while conversing through the door with his kids.

Billy and Benny and the weasly guy are parked up outside his home. Inside Frank has packed up a bag full of guns saying it's the night he closes the Gnucci family down for good.  His car is parked a block over and he thinks this is a good time to leave as he is getting to well known here. He leaves the house and the two goons confirm it is The Punisher.  They call Ma and she says to follow while back-up arrives, the weasly man gets his money and goes.

Soap and Molly on stake-out start playing a game where one says a film title and the other has to give a film that starts with the final letter and so on. They see the Gnucci's start to leave and Soap wants to follow them.  Molly says that they are unlikely to get him, so best to stay fixed on Ma Gnucci and anyway they can't do what even a bunch of tactical units can do.  So the sit and carry on with the game.

Punisher giving as good as he gets.

The Punisher is under heavy fire, thinking that they came out of nowhere.  He tosses a brick of plastique at them to clear out some in the resultant explosion.   Then he starts with the automatic weapons.  He thinks of the song of the 'sixty as one he remembers from a long time ago.

Frank: "Of fireteams dug in on the breaks between the paddy field tracer lasering the jungle night.  Of hueys screaming through the void... of Lieutenant Castle getting short and hating it, wanting 'Nam to last forever.  A lullaby come all the way to New York City".

His shots find their targets, but one fires a rpg at him and forces him down an alley. He only has his forty-five pistol left now.  He notes a bullet to the chest the kevlar took.  The rest of the goons still left standing come after him he punches the first in the throat and gets out his knife and stabs him.  He takes another to the chest that goes through his kevlar.  He approaches the final man standing and as he fires on Frank just walks towards him and breaks his neck.  Then he collapses next to him and blacks out, prone in the alley.

Frank passes out.

Cliffhanger! So it's a different take on Frank than we've seen from Ennis before in Punisher and Fury MAX.  There's much more of an element of humour and the grotesque more like you would find in Preacher and The Boys.  Sometimes you want an in-depth look at Frank's psychological motivations and sometimes you want to see him punch a polar bear in the face. The resolution of Franks Angel Punisher era is beautifully dealt with.  Some writers would spin that out to a whole arc, but Ennis in his no nonsense manner dimisses it in a couple of pages.  Hell on Earth is actually the Heaven the Punisher wants to do his work in, and he really does get to work in this storyline.  Given Ennis's distate for most heroes who aren't Frank or Superman, Daredevil was treated very fairly in his appearance, with Frank admitting he doesn't stand a chance against him in a straight fight and only wins by using his brains and cheating.  Having Daredevil pull the trigger was probably quite a controversial move back when the comic was first published as he's another hero with a "thou-shalt-not-kill" reputation.  But Frank put him in that position to prove a point and saying that he can't live if Dino isn't killed is pretty much his whole mindset laid out right there.  Soap and Molly are fun characters, Soap rather meekly goes along with her cunning plans to let The Punisher and the Gnucci's war it out until they can step in at the end.  We'll see how this plan plays out in the Part Two of this storyline up in a few days time.

Harley Quinn Book 2: Power Outage (#9-13, Harley Quinn: Futures End #1, Harley Quinn Invades Comic Con International San Diego Special #1)

"Are you sure I'm a superhero and not a stripper?" - Power Girl

Time for more larks and japes with DC's Deadpool, the pansexual, fourth-wall breaking, kleptomaniac, comedic sociopath, Ms. Harley Quinn.  She started life in Batman: The Animated Series as Harleen Quinzel, the psychiatrist who treated the Joker and fell in love with him before embarking on a life of crime with him.  Now having split from him she is carving out her own quirky path in the DCU as Poison Ivy's casual girlfriend and sort-of hero in her own little corner of the DCU which doesn't seem to involve her being a member of the Suicide Squad like she is elsewhere.  Last volume she inherited a large building in New York's Coney Island which plays host to various weird businesses like a famous killers waxwork exhibit and a burlesque show and their various live-in tenants including building security manager Big Tony.  To pay the taxes on the place she faked some references and is working as a therapist again, she also was a member of a roller derby team but got thrown out for execessive violence.  She was however given a card with contact details for a more underground "Skate Club" which she'll be joining in this volume. She also teamed up with an elderly Jewish special agent called Sy Borgman who reappears in this volume. This volume continues her New 52 storyline with an interruption from the DC line-wide series "Future's End" which sees her teaming up with "Mistah J" (the Joker) again temporarily, but don't be fooled by the cover, he's only in one "what if" story set five years in the future.  This volume also has her teaming up with Power Girl and this is where the Harley Quinn and Power Girl miniseries I covered a few months back fits in too.  Finally there is a Comic Con Special and a Secret Origins chapter which I'll be skimming over.  Writing partnership Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti are on word duty with a variety of artists contributing the pictures. So without further ado, it's Harley time.

The story begins with one of Harley's tenants, Madame Macabre who runs the crime waxwork show visiting her son Mason in prison.  He caused the accidental death of the Mayor's son-in-law in a bar brawl, and so is looking at some serious prison time.  His mum says not to worry and when their visiting time is over, gives him a full on kiss with tongue, which she uses to pass over what looks like a razorblade to him.

My kind of show!

Then we join Harley getting dressed up to take part in the burlesque show which she is doing to fill in for a regular whose been called away. Big Tony gives her a quick history lesson on burlesque, it's like Commedia Del'Arte but with "more va-va-voom".  This show is based around cheesy 50's sci-fi.  She going to be the sexy alien who seduces the astronaut and kills them.

Harley: "So at the end of the show I get to kill the astronaut...? That is soooo cool".

Big Tony: "No Harley.  No one dies.  No one gets hurt.  It's all for show."

Big Tony leaves and Harley admits to Queenie who runs the show she was just teasing him and she does know the difference between reality and make believe.

The show begins and Harley takes the stage dressed as an alien.  Another woman is playing the astronaut.  They both take off their bodysuits to reveal something altogether more skimpy underneath, and times comes for them to kiss.  Harley is unsure, so the other woman whispers that she should pretend she is Harley's boyfriend.  This sends Harley off and she starts ranting about all the crap The Joker did to her.

She tosses the other woman into the crowd and a brawl starts up.  Harley apologise to Queenie them leaps into the fray with glee, although she gets knocked out and wakes up in the back of a cop car in handcuffs.  But instead of taking her to the police station, he takes her to his house.  Inside is loads of Harley Quinn memorabilia and a large guilded cage which he puts her in.

Turns out he's not a cop, he's her biggest fan and his name is Edwin.  He killed an cop and stole his uniform so he could lay hands on her.  Harley asks what's going to happen next.

Edwin: "Well I didn't think this out past getting you here and into the cage. I guess I was hoping I could treat you well enough so you'd fall in love with me and we could live happily ever after."

He gives her some more modest clothing as they chat.  He says he works part-time at a comic store and when the others there dissed Harley he locked them up in a cage in the cellar.  Harley slips out of the cage after a while, saying she could have escaped back in the car but she was curious about him.   She gets him to lie on the couch and starts psycho-analysing him.

One way to deal with stalkers.

She says obsession is about possessing another person and not accepting failure or rejection.  She isn't rejecting him, but she isn't going to feed his obsession either.

Harley: "I want you to check yourself into a special clinic and see a doctor.  You do this for me for a nice lengthy period of time and I will give dating you a shot.  You have my word."

So he ends up being cheerfully carted off in a straitjacket.  She then decides she has unfinished business and finds the three comicbook store works in the cellar.  She takes them to the Brooklyn Bridge and sits them on the guardrail and asks them to repeat what they said about her.   Two of them lie and say they are a big fan of her... assets.  The third rather suicidally she wasn't his type and he wouldn't date her for a million bucks and he gets kicked off the bridge for his trouble.

She then goes home and gets changed, it's time to find out about Skate Club. She drives there and meets up with Sy Borgman and enters a crowded arena where the show is about to start.  Meanwhile back at her building complex, Mason has broken out of prison and is giving Big Tony a hug, he's going to be shacking up with his girlfriend but will still work at the building.

Then we return to Skate Club.  The set-up is that a pair of roller-skaters take each other on in no-holds barred combat using weapons scattered round the arena and people place bets on who will win. After battle between two other women, it's time for Harley to battle. He opponent is a very tall woman called "Maria Monsterella, The Massapeque Murderer".  Harley's former skate team all express sorrow for Harley, "She made me laugh" says one wiping away a tear.

Harley bites off more than she can chew at Skate Club.

Sy tries to change his bet on Harley but it's too late.  The bout begins and Maria kicks Harley clean across the arena, which stuns her.  Then suddenly we find ourselves on an alien planet.  Two aliens are debating how to deal with an attacker who "has the power of the Gods behind her".  They are bad aliens who have been found out by this mystery woman as annihilators of another planet.  They release a huge monster who punches the unseen woman hard and sends her flying through space.  The huge monster then squishes the two who let it out.

Back at Skate Club, Harley is getting a pounding.  Maria is declared the winner, but Harley recovers and using Sy's explosive toothpaste, blows Maria up.  Unfortunately as victory was already declared, she still lost, but at least regained her self respect.  Sy and Harley's skate team go for a late night meal on the boardwalk, then he takes his leave of the women. They bump into Mason (newly escaped from jail) briefly and Harley seems quite taken with him.

The girls decide it's a perfect night for a midnight swim and go skinny dipping.  There is some teasing from Harley pretending to be a shark and there is much merriment.  They get dressed and leave Harley alone as she enjoys the night.  She sees a falling star, which falls on her.  And the mystery woman is revealed as.. Power Girl.  Completely unconcious and at Harley's mercy.

Power Girl makes an entrance.

But before she wakes up, there is an interlude with the Future's End issue.  If you want the details of the event it has a wikipedia article devoted to it.  The premise of this comic is that all comics not directly tied in did a story looking at what possibly might be happening to their characters five years in the future.  And for Harley that means a reunion with ex-boyfriend, The Joker.

After a plane crash, Harley wakes up washed up on the beach of a desert island.  A dog is investigating her and Harley commands it to find her beaver (no it's not rude, she has a stuffed beaver called Phil who she chats with and he chats back).  The dog races off and doesn't come back, Harley sighs and starts building a shelter.  But she does find Phil, now a stripped down skull after a tangle with a shark.  She decides to wear him round her neck so she won't lose him again.

Then suddenly she is surrounded by tribesfolk who lead her to their village and treat her like a queen.  She doesn't know why, but she doesn't let that stop her enjoying the attention.  One who does speak English says it is time to take her to the "God-King" and he leads her to... The Joker.  She flies at him and gives him a huge snog.  Then she punches him saying she thought he was dead.  He commands that the banquet in his honour takes place and he fills in Harley on what happened to him.

A warm reunion.

He makes reference to some noodle incident that he decided to lay low after, he found out about the island and took it over. He says he got them doing "crazy stuff" for a while but even he began to feel "ashamed" and stopped it.  Nah, not really, and turns out the tribe enjoy a good knife fight as much as he does, although the lack of caped crusaders is starting to make him feel bored.

He would get the tribesmen to dress up as various heroes and battle him, but as he says, "it's like moving out of New York and then ordering bagels.  Eventually you crave the real thing".  They are interrupted by the tribe headman saking if they are enjoying their "final meal?"  This takes Harley aback, but The Joker says it's because they are going to get married tonight at sundown.  Harley seems pretty into the idea.

After putting on her somewhat skimpy wedding atire she is taken out to the temple on a litter.  Phil isn't keen on what's happening, he says the Joker keeps treating her like crap and she keeps taking it.  Harley says, "this time it's gonna be different, I can feel it".  She says it'll be a marriage of equals and they'll enrich each others lives.  When Phil says that makes him want to puke, she tosses him to the crocodiles.

The ceremony takes place, but there was just one teeny little detail she and the Joker weren't told.  They are to be sacrificed in the volcano immediately afterwards. The Joker gets angry saying he thought it would just be Harley making the jump.  He says she deserves it for her hanging around with superheroes and that he "hates do-gooders".  She punches him and from an alligator stomach, Phil says "I told ya so."

The happy couple.

They both punch the headsman into the volcano and it starts to erupt.  They share a kiss then get blasted back out.  Harley winds up back on the beach and so does a dead crocodile who just happens to have Phil nesting in its exploded torse.  Harley sighs and picks him up and asks if her "pitifully, perfidious, puddin' made it?"  Phil replies, "does it matter?"  Harley guesses not.  Then Aquaman and says she looks far from home and he and his dolphins will take her back, to Coney Island.  And that brings the Future's End issue to a close.  Now back to Harley and the unconcious Power Girl.

Harley calls on Big Tony and Mason to help carry Power Girl back to her apartment.  Power Girl in case you didn't know is the Earth-2 version of Supergirl.  Here, enjoy this wiki page on her so I can get on with the story. They lie her down on Harley's bed and check her for injuries as delicately as they can when suddenly she comes around.  She has amnesia though and quickly passes out again.  Harley spots an opportunity for mischief.

She goes downstairs and gets Queenie to quickly run up two Harley themed superhero costumes.  She changes into hers and wrestles Power Girl out of her costume and into the new one.  Power Girl wakes up, takes a few steps and her new costume completely rips and falls off her.  Harley quickly offers her the old one back, Power Girl is very confused about what is going on.  Harley tells her that she is called Power Girl and Harley is her teammate.

Harley then tells her that she has a secret identity, her real name is "Betty Burns" and her stage name is "The Bomb". 

Powergirl: "So my secret identity from being this 'Power Girl' is a strong woman in a sideshow?"

Harley: "I can get a pen and write it down for you if you like."

Power Girl asks what she wears in this secret identity and Harley puts some glasses on her. Power Girl says "you must think I'm an idiot".  So off they go to do some clothes shopping.

After purchasing several outfits between them, they sit and have a meal in a fast food joint.  As Power Girl takes a drink, her cup springs a leak.  Because someone shot her through it, luckily she is made of iron so she is just a little startled by this rather than hurt.  "Someone just shot my soda!  And my boob!" she exclaims and it turns out a pair of villains, "The Sportsmaster" and "The Clock King" are responsible as they are robbing various places in the mall.  So Power Girl and Harley strip off their coats, revealing their superhero outfits and launch into evil-battling mode.

Power Girl: "How about we do some magic and make these guys disappear?"

Harley: "The way you say that is hot."

Unfortunately for them, the pair of baddies stretch open a ring which is a portal through space and Harley and Power Girl get transported across the cosmos.

To the rescue!

They find themselves amongst an army of a variety of aliens, led by a Queen with four breasts. When asked who they are, Power Girl proudly states they are both protectors of Earth and of their galaxy.  The Queen asks her human accountant and lover, "given to me by The Clock King", if what she says is true.  The man says as it's true as far as Power Girl is concerned but as he is about to reveal Harley's true nature, Harley blows him up using a gun she managed to swipe.

Power Girl and Harley make their getaway from the rest of the aliens as Power Girl says to Harley not to kill people again.  Power Girl then starts fighting them which wakes up the huge pug dog that can talk.  He asks Power Girl if there is a way they can resolve the situation. The Queen wants Harley and Power Girl dead, but the dog is her husband the King, who was disgusted by her taking a human as a lover and after a heated argument, he eats her.

Later he, Harley and Power Girl enjoy a banquet and he tells them that the ring they came through is one-way, but there are other rings they might be able to use, as owned by "Manos Ruler Of The Infinity Rings".  So with a map to guide them and a promise they'll chuck some cheeseburgers the king's way when they return, Power Girl and Harley go to confront Manos.

The King is a friendly dog.

They find Manos and his forty-five children hanging out on their planet.  Before they can reach him though a creature that looks like a giant slice of pizza attacks them.  Power Girl goes out and fights it but Harley manages to zap it using a space laser.  Then Manos, who doesn't look at all like Thanos, noooo, comes out and says:

Manos: "Bring me the Cosmic Organ".

Harley: "Ha! He said Cosmic Organ".

While Harley and Power Girl watch in horror, he destroys a whole planet with it.  This makes Power Girl angry, she tells him she was planning on bargaining with him but after that little display she's going to defeat him instead.

Manos tries to use his Infinity Rings against her, but light-fingered Harley has stolen them off him and uses them to blast him into a skeleton, much to Power Girl's annoyance.   One of Manos's kids tells them the ring home was his "Pinkie-toe one" and they stretch it into a portal which takes them back to just after they left Earth. 

Not Thanos honest!

But the Clock King and Sportsmaster send them back through another portal.  They instantly return, but Power Girl is now in a wedding dress and Harley, in a space jumpsuit is accompanied by several three-eyed purple cats. "Thank God! That was the longest two weeks of my life" says Power Girl.  Harley says she thought "Vartox" was cute.  So what happened?  An entire miniseries set between two panels happened, which I have covered here.  Enjoy!  For now, Power Girl rips off the dress and The Clock King says "I think we're in trouble."

Power Girl punches The Sports Master so hard he pops out of his skates.   He retaliates with a "short range nuclear ballistic missile."  Harley and The Clock King get to safety but The Sports Master manages to get caught in the blast that hit Power Girl.   The Clock King uses a magic clock to turn back and freeze time and retrieve his companion, and they make their getaway.

Tease PeeGee at your peril.

Power Girl survived of course, but her hair is all wooshed back.  As she flies carrying Harley, Harley has fits of laughter and teases her over it, getting dropped a couple of times as punishment.  They arrive back at Harley's building and Harley tells her she has a show to do that night.  Still pretty confused by her apparent life, she goes for a shower.  "Can I watch?" asks Harley.  That gets a firm NO.  Big Tony notes that she'll kill them when she gets her memory back.  Harley says she thinks another blow to her head and Power Girl's memory may return and she likes being her partner.

Big Tony: "Aw. Aren't you two cute together.  Add yer pal Ivy to the mix and we got a regular sitcom".

Harley: "Let's save that for another special, shall we?"

Coming out of the shower in Harley's flat, Harley introduces Power Girl to "Edgar", an egg with mechanical arms, the newest tenant of the building.  "He used to be a villain but we cured him with love and kindness" she says of him.  Power Girl is suspicious of him though.

Later, downstairs at the burlesque show poor Power Girl is in a leotard and does some flexing for the crowd.  A stagelight falls on her and Harley and Tony get ready to run in case her memory is back, but she is still amnesiac.  Then Harley tells her Clock King and Sports Master have been spotted uptown and it's time to go defeat them.

After an interude where Harley tries to mesmerise a mugger with her butt, she arrives to find the two miscreants beaten and down.  But The Sports Master isn't finished yet and he fires an energy bolt at Power Girl, which gets him shot in the hand by Harley for his trouble.  This surprises the villains, "since when do heroes shoot bad guys?" says The Clock King.  The police arrive to take them into custody as Power Girl flies off with Harley.

It was probably an obscene suggestion, bad Harley!

.

They sit together on a roof and Power Girl wants to know all about herself.  Harley spins her a bunch of fibs, then suddenly a bird craps on Power Girl and it is this that brings her memories back. Uh oh. Harley does some fast talking saying they did some proper superheroic stuff:

Harley: "Look, we were a crime-fighting team and you really liked me, even though I drove you nuts".

Harley makes her eyes big and limpid and starts crying, saying "could you ever forgive me?" Grumpily, Power Girl says "I can't stay mad at you Harley.  I just don't know what to do with you."  So Harley whispers something in her ear we don't hear, but involves the word "French" and gets Harley abandoned on top of the Eiffel Tower as punishment.  And that brings the Power Girl arc to a close.

Another interlude, this time for "Harley Quinn Invades Comic Con International San Diego Special" which is a bit of a mouthful but pretty much describes what happens.  Harley goes to Comic Con, which allows for some more playful meta humour.  In the course of the issue she snogs a room full of Joker cosplayers, de-pantses Batman, gets arrested for shooting a cop in the bum, has her portfolio looked over by Jim Lee, gets Bruce Timm and Paul Dini's autographs, and sadly also overhears an interview with DC Satan-In-Chief Dan Didio who says the following:

Dan Didio: "We'll be launching a new line of books that do not have any editorial overlooking control. We call this D-C-You.  Each creator does whatever they like with the character of their choice and goes crazy. We don't expect these books to sell at all, so we are setting the print run at 1,000 copies each."

No, no, let's move on.  Let's stay positive for now, even though this proves to me my theory that DC set the DCYou up for failure before the New 52 breathed its last.  You'll be hearing me whine more on this topic when I cover the second and final wave of DCYou trades early next year.  Anyway, after all this daftness, this volume is rounded off by a short "Secret Origins" tale of Harley and her lifelong interest in the criminally insane, culminating in her self destructive relationship with the Joker.  And that's it for another Harleytastic volume.

I just find these comics so much FUN.  The meta humour doesn't overwhelm the narratives, the jokes, innuendo and parody comes thick and fast and perhaps what I like most about it is the huge emphasis it places on female friendship.  Seriously I can't think of many other superhero comics where a whole issue would just be two women hanging out chatting and shopping.  And even before the Power Girl issues we get Harley hanging out and having a laugh with her Roller Derby team, no men in sight, nor are they the subject of the conversations.  It passes the Bechdel Test more comprehensively than any other superhero comic I can think of.  The Power Girl/Harley odd-couple friendship is glorious.  Poor Power Girl does end up looking a bit undignified in places, but she gets to be superheroic while having to cope with the crazy persona Harley has cooked up for her.  The idea of setting a miniseries between two panels is another fun idea and the Harley/Power Girl miniseries manages to be even dafter than the main Harley series if that's possible.  All-In-All you really feel Harley enjoys her life a lot, the Future's End and Secret Origins issues actually goes someway to showing how putting her with The Joker limits her, she is too wild to be a one man or woman Harley and she works much better as an anti-hero than as a villain.  I'm definitely still sticking with Harley for now, keep watching this space for the next volume in her series fairly soon.