Clean Room Book 3: Waiting For The Stars To Fall (#13-18)

"Fuck, oh fuck.  We're stuck here" - Chloe

Ah once again apologies for a late posting, been tech apocalypse for me lately.  Got the scanner working again, the laptop remains at the menders, anyway we wrap up this ladies month with a story by Gail Simone the final six isues of what promised to be season one of Clean Room, so apparently it's not gone for good except nothing bar a single tweet from Jan 2017 said Clean Room would be back.  This is a complex tale which revolves around two very different women.  The first is Astrid Mueller, when she was a young girl she had an accident that ever since has allowed her to see monsters that are disguised as people or living inside them or attached to them.  When she grew up she formed a Scientology style cult with the revelation of what lies out there given to those who attain the highest echelon.  The second woman involved is Chloe Pierce, whose boyfriend was a member of Astrid's organisation and killed himself up learning the awful truth.  At first Chloe was determined to figure out what the scam was being performed by Astrid but she gradually found herself part of Astrid's world.  One way is that she too can shape the visions of the titular Clean Room where patients of counselled about the terrifying thoughts and visions he creatures are giving them as Astrid manifests the beings inside there.  But last volume, Astrid was nearly assassinated by her brother Peter, Chloe is able to heal her via a friendly one of the aliens called Spark, who also saved  Chloe from the ministrations of The Butcher back in her home as well. The last book ended with two of Astrid's "rooks" implicated in the assassination attempt and Astrid looking at her baby niece and seeing a monster instead.  That's the most important stuff that happened, but these books really are cramful of events also you might notice that the main artist is no longer Jon Davis-Hunt but Walter Geovani, more thoughts on that in the conclusion.  Anyway, lets be getting along.

We start with a chubby middle-aged man called Mr. Tubbins being dropped off by a mountain path where he carries a briefcase to a muscular young man called Mr. Webber.  Tubbin's shows a picture of the mutated creature that is Astrid's neice.  When Tubbins tells Webber who the aunt is, Webber thanks him and tells him to do the right thing and as Tubbins throws himself off the cliff, Webber ponders the existance of "a child."  Then we get a full page of his face in which the left side is horrificially mutilated.

Back at Astrid's HQ, The Honest World Foundation in Chicago, Duncan and Killian the two Rooks who betrayed Astrid are called in to see her in The Room.  Both are forced to wear uniforms that newbies wear, and when confronted by Astrid, she quietly demands to know if they know what they have done.  When they tell her why, Ducan saying he wanted to save his boyfriend from "unimaginable torture" while Killian says they let the entity go free because he saved them:

Astrid: "No.  The answer is that you betrayed me."

She contemplates how to punish them and demands to know their worst memory.  Duncan says the first man who ever loved him was killed by a snipers bullet in Afghanistan, he had to as him off him.  Killian says it was discovering her mother dead from ovarian cancer aged fice.  Astrid stalks out leaving them in the room saying they are going to relive those moments.  But she can't go through with it and runs back into the room, she hugs them both saying "forgive me. Forgive me."

Astrid apologises to Killian and Duncan.

She pulls back and recovers her composure and tells them they are on probation, their previous loyalty and service has been more than adequate.  Io her assisstant is surprised, she's never seen Astrid apologise to anyone.  After checking out some potential new Rooks none of which measure up,  we cut to Chloe having a barbecue with the three Haverlin brothers who are her neighbours and Avil her new boyfriend.  They clink beer bottles and drink to "loyal trustworthy friends."

Then Astrid shows up with Io and Capone.  Chloe reacts badly to seeing her saying she has brought nothing "but death and misery to my life" so she should get lost.  But the Haverlins say she isn't being neighbourly and that everyone is invited to their cookout.  Astrid cautiously asks "I'd like a wiener please, kind sir".  When Io says she'll get her some water, Astrid says in fact she'll have a beer.

The two women with her are amazed because they have only ever seen Astrid do things like eat crackers with a knife and fork.   Astrid sits down and apologises for the interupting, she says Chloe has a nice life:

Astrid: "What you said about pain all around.  That is the cost, Chloe.  That is the cost of having your eyes opened.  I can't close my eyes again.  Can you?"

She goes on to say she has one friend in her life.  Her name is Anika from New Mexico.  The beings took her up at age seveteen and experimented on her for amusement.  Now her right side is that of a young woman and her left side that of a one hundred year old crone.  "No reason.  No motive.  They did it to be mean.  A lifetime of pain, waking up each day wanting to die.  It made them laugh".

Astrid attends the barbecue.

Chloe asks her why she is here now and Astrid asks her to come and be her Rook, "you have gifts they do not.  Come help me save the world." Chloe stammers that she can't leave the life she has here.  Astrid says she'll give the life she has purpose.  Chloe says will she answer her questions.  When Astrid says she'd have to be cautious about that, Chloe gets angry and straight out demands to know who the entities are.

Astrid pauses then lets out what she knows.  The entities come from another place, she isn't sure if it's another dimension, galaxy or even hell itself. But they have been here a very long time. Earth is a distant outpost, "their devil's island."  The entities they send here are the outcasts of their species, the sadists, the torturers and the rapists.  Their culture has no death penalty and so they are sent here where they can live without supervision, "because we are no sufficiently advanced to matter."

Chloe asks why they bother if they are so advanced, and Astrid says thet are bored, "thousands of years in a lightless cave, only us to torment.  Waiting for something."  She exhorts Chloe again to come with her and she'll show her what they've waited for.

We cut to the Clean Room. Inside is Astrid and Chloe and a baby of around a year old.  Astrid asks Chloe what she sees and Chloe says she sees a beautiful little girl.  Astrid addresses the child asking if she has something she wants to say to her?  The baby erupts into a monstrous being hurling threats and obscentities at her finally says "we're coming.  We're all coming, bitch monkey!"  Then it mentally forces the guard with them to shoot himself in the head before saying to Chloe, "Philip says hello". Philip being her dead fiancee's name.

Chloe meets hell baby Derica.

Outside the institute, a skinny man with long hair dyed like Astrid's and a pink T-shirt with "#1 Astrid Mueller Fan" on it holding a bunch of balloons with Astrid's face on them is trying to get into the building.  He is being rebuffed for not having an appointment but he says it's important she talk to him because he's her number one fan.

Back in the Clean Room, Astrid is her usual unflappable self while Chloe is freaking out at what the baby is telling them, that they plan to make a bridge out of humans.  She thinks to herself:

Chloe: "Just one time I wanted to be Lois Lane.  I just wanted to do important work.  Reveal the kind of massive truths that could actually help people.  I didn't want to see any deeper than that.  Not really.  Fuck me.  Too late.  Too late."

We get a lovely double page spread of said human-bridge with the baby saying they'll walk on their faces wearing shoes with nails in all the way home "and there are so many of us, Astrid. So many."

Red Flag! Red Flag!

Chloe demands to know why they hate humans so much, humans are already scared of them so what does this achieve?  The baby holds up a brick and says "because the cow goes moo, Chloe."  Then it tells her she was pregnant when her fiancee killed himself, and her baby is dead now "while a monster like me lives to do the most awful things".  Chloe finally now realises how Philip, who had seen so much brutality in Afghanistan and Iraq was unable to continue his life after finding out the truth behind the monsters, "I see it now, humanity gone, everything good in ashes and fire."

Then the hell baby causes the dead guard to rise up and start speaking with Philip's voice as it mocks Chloe.  Astrid decides it's time to put an end to this for now and orders a  "damn" big shockwave to be sent through the child monster knocking it out.  Astrid puts out a comforting hand to Chloe who suddenly notes she hadn't heard Astrid use a curse word before, "I think you were worried" she smiles at her.  Then she tells Astrid to repeat after her, "Fuck. Shit. Dick."  Astrid manages to say "Intercourse. Feaces. Thingie" and they embrace.

Derica gets zapped.

Chloe kisses her on the cheek and thanks her for shutting the hell baby up, "that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Maybe for anyone."  Astrid orders the hell baby to be taken back to the catacombs as it won't be out cold for long.  Then she is informed about the #1 Fan. His name is Artus Greenhand and he is obssessed with her.  He is in the "watch out for" file.  He maintains a website full of weird fanfic of him and Astrid being soul mates.  Astrid says she has no time for a deluded fan, but he knows about the child and he knows how to kill it, "but he says time is running out."

Astrid decides to get Chloe to evaluate Artus.  Chloe is the only other person who can bend the room to her will and Astrid is needed elsewhere.  Reluctantly Chloe agrees and takes Killian as her Rook to help her:

Chloe: "No more slacking on the job Killian.  You and I are going to fuck these space hemorrhoids up."

Inside the room, Chloe plants a big kiss on Killian's lips (Killian is a lesbian with a huge crush on Chloe).  Having done so she feels more confident while Killian is left somewhat weak at the knees "you could kill a girl with lips like that" she says.  Then Artus is led inside, his hands double cuffed, and he calls them "critters."

Chloe smooches with Killian.

Meanwhile Astrid is at the Institute Sick Bay where her brother Peter is securely strapped to the bed. He wakes with a start, and Astrid says she needs to ask him about Derica, the name of his neice the hell baby. He rages that she must keep her hands of her, that she is normal and fine.  Astrid says she is not and he knows she is not and he is going to help her figure out how to "kill her and burn the ashes".

Inside the Clean Room Artus is getting overwhelmed about being close to things Astrid has touched. He says he was expecting to be questioned by her, but Chloe says she is doing it so what does he know and how does he know it?  He says he is a hunter but one day:

Artus: "I got scratched  Dinged up right fierce. Almost bled out, right there. Since then, well I bin havin' all kinda revelations."

He says he can show them, so Chloe uses her ability and the Clean Room transforms.  To show a woman bound to a chair and gagged with lots of red haired wigs behind her.  Artus is seems is a serial killer of prostitutes, "they're just women.  Loose women.  Critters is what they are."

Then the Artus of the vision comes into the room with clippers ready to shave the woman.  Killian says they aren't ready to see this and to take them back.  But Chloe says they have to stick it out to find out what he knows about the child.  So vision Artus shaves the woman's head and staples a red wig to her scalp.  Chloe can't take his enjoyment anymore and punches real Artus then kicks him in the head when he is downed.

Artus gets a well deserved pwning.

Killian notes that's not how Astrid would have handled it, but she says "I heartily endorse your methods." Artus says he had a vision of the babe and how to destroy her, but he sees how it is.  Meanwhile Peter has admitted the terrible truth behind Derica, he joined an organisation which he thought was good and kind.  But they were all literally fucked by the aliens because they thought they were chosen ones. And Derica was born.

Back in the Clean Room real Artus rises saying he won't help them now and he's felt the room calling since he walked inside.   So he takes control of the room and going home and leaving them trapped inside with the vision version of himself which can now see Chloe and Killian who points a gun at them saying "well, well, well.  Lookie what we have here.  Critters."

We then take some time out for a look at how Astrid's organisation genuinely helps people in need, art by Sanya Anwar.  We see a man and a woman attending Trinity College.  The woman is reading a biography of Lewis Carroll, the man comes and flirts with her and when she says she never reads fiction he hands her Astrid Mueller's book then they go for a pint.  We get a whirlwind of images showing them together including getting married then we see her alone in bed "years later I knew what it meant to be bereft.  To be alone in a strange place".

Suddenly she hears her husband Ian calling her name, "Mary" and she sees him come into the room missing half a leg and with a smashed open skull, "and then I started screaming and forgot to stop, somehow."  She keeps seeing him again in her daily life, unable to let him go because he keeps coming back. She tried to read Astrid's novel which is three hundred words with no punctuation, "legend was that if you read it all, you gained tremendous personal power or went insane."  She decides it's not for her and gets Astrid's new book.

She also goes to therapy, "because this morning, in the shower? Ian handed me the soap".  Her therapist says it's grief related psychosis, her brain is putting him in places he used to be.  But Ian is standing behind her, and he's never been in this place before.  She gets prescribed anti-depressants. 

She loses her job and nearly loses her mind when she sees a meeting of the Honest World Foundation taking place.  She goes inside and they treat her with kindness immediately.  Ian appears and says he doesn't like this place, he sounds afraid like she'll abandon him despite that being exactly what she wants to do.

Mary is special!  Honest!

She sits in a one-on-one with a handsome young man.  He asks her some questions before hitting her with asking her if she has thought of fucking him since she came into the room.   She finally admits "a little".  He says that's fine and continues asking her innocuous questions mixed with personal ones.  Finally he checks her evaluation and is surprised and brings in some others.  Then he goes to her and says she has "unlimited potential.  Mary you could change the world."

Mary: "They looked at me and saw me for what I really am.  What I could be.  I couldn't wait to go through the adept program".

She journeys to the organisation's HQ catching Chloe leaving in a fury which happened in volume one.   Inside she is shown to a dorm room.  She is ordered aroun by a Rook called Terry but Astrid comes in and says to go easy on her as it's her first day.

Mary tells Astrid that she changed her life, Astrid gives her a long look then says she is glad.  Then she says she is there to achieve her potential and "enjoy your new life Mary". She attends meetings everyday, does visible volunteer work, hand out Astrid's books in the street a lot of which are taken by the homeless for warmth.  She is a "stone cold believer" by now.

When they hear one of their group is being made a Pawn, everyone celebrates.  But when he comes back to the dorm that night he doesn't smile and cries all night. Next morning he's gone and they weren't supposed to speak his name again.   Then she is told she is to do be an assisstant Eval technician.  They must listen to the person then say that the eval can't be right, then get a senior supervisory adherant and speak to them quietly then tell the person, "we've never seen a reading like yours.  It's off the scale.  Never even heard of one like this" and they then finish by saying they have unlimited potential and can change the world.

This reveal upsets Mary a lot and she starts crying often too.  Then she is called to meet Astrid and her new second-in-command.  She goes into the Clean Room and meets Astrid and Chloe.  She tries to explain herself but Astrid says it doesn't matter, she says Mary has been lying and time to see what it was all about.

The Clean Room changes to a bridge her husband died bungie jumping off, "the bereft day" Mary calls it.  As they look upon Ian and Mary about to jump Astrid tells Mary that Ian suffered from depression, delusions and more.  "His good natured spirit covered worlds of pain" she says.   Ian tells Mary that he's cut both of their lines so it will look like they were irresponsible "it's the only way Mary. The only way out".

Illusiory Ian jumps, but Mary doesn't.  Astrid says that was the only time she didn't follow him.  Real Mary says she should have jumped too.   They look upon Ian's broken body and Astrid says he wanted away from life that badly. "You can owe allegiance to love, Mary.  But this is not that" Astrid tells her.  Then she says she spoke to Ian, and he told her he's glad she didn't jump, "he wants you to be happy.  He wants you to be free."

Mary faces her worst day.

Mary jumps up mentally thanking God for bringing her Astrid Mueller. Astrid tells her to say goodbye and tommorrow they will find her a new place in her organisation. As Mary cradles Ian's body, Chloe says to Astrid she can't speak to the dead.  Astrid says she lied.

Astrid: "A kind person was being quietly destroyed by something that wasn't even remotely her doing.  Don't you wsh someone had cared enough to done that for us?"

And that ends this interlude with Mary making her peace over Ian's death.

We start the next chapter with Chloe talking with Philip outside their house.  He says beer, hot scary lovemaking and looking at the sun coming up, "it's never going to be anything better than this".  Chloe says he doesn't know that, he says if Astrid Mueller's right... but she cuts him off saying  can't he shut up about that woman and enjoy the moment?  He says her message seems to be enjoy what you have and make the most of every moment, but...

Philip: "Shame  I'm just the ghost of a memory and you're about to be shaved and slaughtered with a bad wig stapled onto your head. 'nother beer?"

And we return to Killian and Chloe trapped with the memory of Artus in his killing basement.  Killian says she thought the Clean Room showed memories not "timey-wimey bullshit" and she moves to take down Artus.  But Chloe tells her she saw someone attack Astrid with a knife in the Clean Room and when it became reality again she was still bleeding, "I don't know if it's a dream or what.  But dead is dead either way".  And Artus grins.

Elsewhere Astrid is visiting hell baby Derica.  The crib is wired up so "let's try and keep this civil."  Derica stands up and says she smelled Astrid's "stinkwater" as soon as she walked in.  Derica offers to show Astrid love and acceptance.  Astrid says she likes being alone.  She tells Derica she doesn't frighten her.  Derica says she will in time, they have such wonderful plans, "we were supposed to rule, but instead, we're exiled here with your filthy herd." They are going to "troll for souls... we're going to break you from the inside."

The Evil plan of Evil.

It'll start small but strange.  Twenty-four hours with no TV, internet or radio. Then they'll bring it back but with videos of what make them laugh. Then a plague of bus crashes around the world, including school buses.  Then dropping plans out of the sky.  So many shots of broken bloody bodies that people will get numb:

Derica: "They won't stop looking, but they won't really do anything will they? You are a spectator society."

The President will give a speech about the need for courage and declaring martial law before putting three bullets in his wife's head.   They creatures won't announce themselves we let humanity think they did it themselves.

As she starts to leave Derica says she's not the first person with the visions, how many people they have pushed over the edge into mental asylums. They did it by going after everyone they loved.   Quickly Astris calls Io and orders each Rook to be guarded by two Bishops and she wants Duncan and Killian around Chloe at all times.  Io has to break the news that Chloe and Killian are missing and Duncan didn't come in today.  All Astrid can say to herself upon hearing that is, "fuck."

In a hospital a doctor is called into a room by a nurse and is greeted by the sight of a man with a horse's head causing him to say "my God".. The nurse then slashes the doctor's throat saying "it's time for the opposition party"  Then the TV's go dead.  Elsewhere The Butcher has come for Duncan, but Duncan has set a trap for him with the three Haverlin brothers armed with baseball bats surrounding the Butcher as he stands before Duncan.

Calmly the Butcher says he thinks he can take all of them, but Duncan has a secret weapon "White Mist", the perfume Astrid wears. He splashes it into the Butcher's faces who screams like it's acid.  Then the Haverlin brothers lay into him with gusto.   After a sound beating which leaves his head crushed and mangled the Butcher cries for mercy.  Unfortunately that's not going to happen and beating round two commences.

Baseball bat time for The Butcher.

Ms Capone, another of Astrid's Rooks is met by two men who say they need to take her to a safe room.  But she blows the head of one who explodes into a monster, she takes it on while also taking a phonecall from Astrid who says she needs her.  Capone finishes off the creature and Astrid tells her to go to her private sick bay "please protect my heart."

We see Anika in bed, she of the half a body belonging to a one hundred year old.  And her loyal caretaker bears down on her saying she has  surprise for her, a secret she's been keeping a long time.  In the Clean Room Artus is ranting about leaving the "bitchcritters somewhere thet don't want to be".  Astrid's mission control, Raven, tells her what's happened and also that there is chaos in the building with several fatalities and some floors lost contact with, "they're here, Astrid.  They're in the building."

Astrid orders an evacuation and that everyone should get home to their loved ones.   She thanks Raven for his service to her and says goodbye to him.  In the sickbay the carer shows Anika the shoe she was wearing when the aliens took her up. She herself "personally supervised what we did to you.  To ruin you.  To rip open your soul."  The carer starts to transform, but gets an axe to the head courtesy of Capone. With the carer dead Capone says they are getting out of here, somehow.

Astrid enters the Clean Room and asks Artus what she can do for him.  He rambles on about the room speaking to him, but now they belong to a "godly man, as they rightly should." If Astrid agrees to be hims and lets him teach her how to behave proper he'll bring the others back.  When he says she ought to know how to cook, that it's the way to a man's heart she scowls and says "is it?  Let's just see."

We begin the next chapter in a normal suburban street, everyone's net and TV's have gone off and people have wandered into the street with an old man noting "there's something wrong with the stars."  Back with what's left of the Butcher who has been taped to a chair so Duncan can question him, he tells them it is going to rain blood.  Then everyone will eat each other alive. 

The Haverlins say that won't happen, people stick together. The Butcher says maybe they will but what about Duncan?  And also Astrid's kingdom is collapsing and she will burn.  Duncan uncorks more of Astrid's perfume and asks what they can do to stop the end from happening.

In the Clean Room Artus tells Astrid his story, that a "wildcat" got the better of him, and he died on the hospital table.  When the doctors saved him he could feel "the gears of the universe grinding all around me".  The Clean Room called to him, it wants him in charge not Astrid.  Astrid says she make him take her to them.  He sneers that this should be interesting.

Artus thinks he's in control...

In Artus's memory, Chloe tells him this isn't real just a thought from his future self.  Artus asks what does that matter?  Chloe says it means they can change things.   She starts to cut the bound and gagged woman free despite Killian saying she can't save someone who is already dead.  Artus jams his revolver into Chloe's back saying he'll be having fun with her.

In the suburban street the people see an old woman with blood all over her front come walking up saying "bad dog.  bad dog."  You love and feed them and then they attack you and she reveals one of her hands is missing.  Back at the Institute Derica's guards have been killed and a man in a hoodie walks over to the hell baby.  It is Mr. Webber.  he says he sculpted his face to please the exalted one, ie: Derica.  Who asks to be taken to see Astrid once last time because she wants to rip her open.  Webber carries Derica away saying "your will be done mistress."

In the street the woman missing a hand has collapsed. Everyone is freaking out and a young boy points at one of the women can yells that he saw her skin change, that she was pink and had claws "she's not human."  Everyone backs away from her as she says it's ridiculous. One of the men whispers to his wife to go fetch his gun sharpish.

In the Clean Room Artus says he's going to take a trip through Astrid's worst memory.  We see young Astrid, still on crutches after the accident that triggered her ability to see the aliens. He father puts a hand on her shoulder, but he's actually a horrific monster. She says she will tell everybody about him, everyone will know the truth.  Her not-dad says who will believe her?  As for her father the  demon hugs her saying, "I ate him, darling.  Right down to his dirty fucking toes."
Artus mocks her and Astrid says that when she was twelve she took a kitchen knife and stabbed the creature twenty-one times.  Artus has one last chance or she'll disassemble him.  He says she doesn't scare him she's just a critter:

Astrid: "Yes.  That's apt actually.  Because sometimes you need a beast Artus.  And I am that beast.  And this room belongs to me."

And she regains control. Artus cowers in front of her and demands he tell her where they are and forces it out of him, "that wasn't so hard was it?"

...he was wrong.

They all end up in Artus's memory.  Chloe is so happy to see Astrid, Astrid says since meeting Chloe she has apologised to three people, intentionally embraced three people and uttered a vulgar curseword aloud, "how could I not come back for you?"

She demands to know from Artus how to kill the entities, he begs her not to make him tell.  With quiet fury she says she will MAKE him remember his death.  Right now his victim is going to stab him and he will die on the way to the hospital, "death is outside and his voice is thunder".  If he doesn't tell her how to kill the entities he will leave him in this moment for all eternity.

With her foot on his face he says "exoduction", the have to  abduct the child entity and then exorcise it.  Unsatisfied, Astrid leaves Artus at the mercy of a black spikey creature and the memory fades away with him trapped inside it.  Astrid, Killian and Chloe are safe back in the Clean Room.

In the suburban street the woman the child accused is being restrained while she protests she's been their neighbour for years.   She has a shotgun pointed at her and the man holding it demands she start talking.  We cut to the child who did the accusing and he's actually a monster himself.  He smirks to himself as three shots ring out telling his sister he's sure they'll be fine.

The Institute is being evacuated, but Avil, Chloe's police detective boyfriend runs inside to find her.  He meets up with several of the faithful who don't want to abandon Astrid, including Mary from the interlude.  In the Clean Room Chloe is a little shocked at Artus's fate at being left alone with his death.  There are moths everywhere. She tells Chloe she can see the entities not because she nearly died but because they reveal themselves to the people in the most pain.

Astrid: "It's grief.  A child in a coma. A woman whose fiance killed himself.. that's there catnip.  It's their heroin."

Chloe says they have to exorcise they child, and Astrid says they'll come to us.  Raven is still in mission control. She asks him to bring them two Earl Grey teas and to play some Chopin while they wait.  He says it would be his honour as he wipes away some tears.

Waiting for the end.

Chloe says that they are coming to kill us and that Astrid knew about this and she let people thing this was just a cult and she was a liar.  Astrid says people would never believe the truth.  She then tells Chloe her most pleasant memory in ages was having barbecue with Chloes boyfriend and friends, "hot dogs and potato salad and an ice cold beer, the night sky overhead.  It was so delicious it felt like my first meal as a free woman."  It was food people east when they can look up and see only stars and not carry those stars on their shoulders.

In Southern California, an automated warning has gone out from Astrid to her "Blue Utopians".  They have a card that will allow them entrance into a nearby sanctuary which is good for two approved persons.  They will be safe but the rest of the world won't be so fortunate.

Derica and Marcus Webber are walking through the institute, with Derica directing Marcus along the way.  Marcus says he worships her kind and waited for her birth.   He mutilated his face to present a more fearsome visage and emulate her race. "Very good.  And you will rip out Astrid Mueller's heart for me, yes?"  Marcus says it will be his pleasure.

Raven brings the tea, he asks if they should be evacutating as the building is on fire.  Astrid says she knows, she was the one who set the fire.  She wanted to to work in isolation with the people she... and she tails off.  "Trust?" says Chloe.  "Yes trust.  Thank you Chloe" says Astrid.  Then she says they're here.

Derica and Marcus are at the door to the Clean Room and Derica unleashes a torrent of vile abuse and threats to get her to open it.  Then Capone appears behind them and opens fire.  Inside the Clean Room, Astrid notes her "splendid loyalty."  Duncan and the Haverlins are also fighting their way through the Institute too battling the creatures as they appear.

Capone is getting beaten up, Killian asks to go out and help her, but Astrid says Capone knows she is expendable. Capone rips off Marcus's bottom jaw, then a knife flashes.  Astrid says it is time to open the door and thankfully the person outside is a battered and bloody Capone with a knife in her stomach.  She collapses over the threshold and Derica walks in past her saying "she killed my creepy pet Aryan".

Capone is severely injured as Derica enters the Clean Room.

Derica says she found her way in.  But Astrid says she actually let her in. She has a Dr Hagen on the phone and she tells him it's time to "blow their goddamn city into the Atlantic Ocean, please."  Hagen tells them he will do so, and from his large boat he fires a huge cannon blast into the sky (this isn't a total deus ex machina, we saw this is book one). Derica demands to know what she did:

Astrid: "Well, it's a bit complicated.  I waited until your mind was elsewhere, you see.  Then I had the worlds horniest genius blow a hole through yur invisible city.  It's going to the bottom of of the sea, I'm afraid."

She then tells Derica to be quiet, and they start to exorcise her by reciting Catholic rites at her.  A huge moster bursts out and says, "don't you try that Catholic shit on me Astrid Mueller! We wrote half that damn book." Then everyone else arrives, Avil, Duncan, the Haverlins.  Chloe is happy to see Avil but she grins at Killian and tells him "you might have to share a bit."

They then reveal the secret weapon they have, which is Spark the good alien.  And as Astrid recites more words of banishment, Spark completes the ritual and sends the being "to before there was time." Astrid tells Spark she may have misjudged him.  She orders Capone get medical attention and the fire get put out.  Chloe tells Astrid, "holy shit, you saved the world.  I'm still a reporter.  People are going to know."  But Astrid says that won't be the case at all.

Spark helps banish Derica to a time before time began.

And so Chloe, on Astrid's orders, became Judas Iscariot. Astrid didn't want Chloe to make her into a deity, she wanted her to destroy her.   Better to tell everyone she was a fraud than demons tried to kill everyone:

Chloe: "So I went on the box and said everything she'd said was a scam, a lie.  That she was a thief and common criminal.  And then I went home and cried for three days. And never quite liked myself again.  Not completely."

Killian and Avil come by and that helps, no one has seen Astrid in over a week.  She started reading Astrid's infamous novel, the one with no punctuation, the one that gives you either total enlightenment or drives you insane. She's halfway through, "can't wait to find out which way I go."  And this brings this volume and the series overall to an end.

I'll comment on the art first because I think losing Jon Davis-Hunt (poached for a higher profile gig I believe) hurt this story quite a lot.  His clinical detailed precision worked brilliantly for the ordered world of Astrid, and although Geovani gives us great monsters, his panels where people are just talking are ill blocked and lacking in detail. Narrative wise, personally I thought all the stuff with Artus dragged the story down.  I'd much rather have seen more incidents of the beginning of the apocalypse instead.  I also didn't like how passive is made Killian either, although I enjoyed Chloe acting on her attraction to her after two volumes of Killian's clumsy flirting.  That said there is still much to recommend here.  We are once again given a very strong female character in Astrid who can smack down serial killers and save the world with practised ease.  And was evern allowing herself to be martyred in the court of public opinion to explain what all the strange goings on where about.  I also would have liked to know abit more about Marcu Webber and how he came to know of the hell baby, his story seemed potentially much more interesting than Artus's.  But I carp on when overall I liked it, liked the different women in it, all badass in their own right and the premuise was imaginative and if there is no more Clean Room which looks likely, it did at least not end on a cliffhanger but wrapped its plot threads up fairly neatly.

Midnighter and Apollo (#1-6)

"Keep your hands filled Mawzir.  I'll find you" - Midnighter

Ah remember the DC You?  That brief period when DC acknowledged LGBT people existed?  Happy times.  Anyway one of my favourite series that ran that year was Midnighter's.  He's an openly gay man, with no memory of his childhood, but also genetically engineered and augmented to be the ultimate hand-to-hand fighter.  He's like a bionic Batman.  He was in a long term relationship with Apollo, a solar powered Superman expy but split up from him at the start of his series and the writer and artist weren't shy about showing Midnighter fooling around with men, although he was burned by the first serious boyfriend he gained who turned out to be super villain Prometheus who wanted to rip out Midnighter's technology and use it.  But Midnighter nearly killed him in the fight they had, Prometheus escaped and Midnighter hit the scene again still looking for love.  In the second book events conspired to get Midnighter and Apollo fighting a common enemy together again.  After the fight Apollo kisses Midnighter passionately and it is heavily implied they are going to get back together again.  And that did at least end the all too short series on a very happy note.  Now alongside the rest of the DC Rebirth, Apollo and Midnighter get a six issue miniseries to wrap up some loose threads from the series and explore the depths of their love for each other.

We start with Midnighter dealing with some subway pirates.  These were a creation of Grant Morrison's and featured in the Manhattan Guardian mini of his Seven Soldiers of Victory series.  They are basically old skool pirates who hijack and ride subway trains.   Turns out this bunch have been kidnapping children to power their trains and people hurting kids is Midnighters beserk button.  He travels through several carriages crushing all who stand in front of him.

He gets a hold of this bunches leader "Half-Beard", he tells Midnighter that the "God-train runs on innocence" so he won't give up the kids and taunts Midnighter saying "There'll be no stopping our God today".  Midnight grins and says  "A God?  Good thing I brought one of my own."  And we see Apollo destroying the train.  Midnighter locates the children and he comforts one by saying Half-Beard is in jail and the rest of his friends are gone. 

Apollo takes out the God train.

Apollo looks a bit uncomfortable as Midnight reassures the girl.  But Midnighter approaches him and rests his forehead on Apollo's saying they did good, "you punched a train golem for me."  We cut to Midnighter's apartment where he and Apollo are having a couple of friends round for dinner, cooked by Apollo. On the balcony Midnighter;s friend Tony asks when Apollo will be moving in.   He says it's been months, Midnighter's fight computer must be telling him it's OK now. 

Midnighter: "That computer ruined this once, Tony.  This time we're taking things as they come."

Then Marina, another friend, calls them in for food.  As they eat Marina says she is glad one of them could cook.  Apollo says he had a pretty normal upbringing unlike Midnighter.  They discuss dating and tease Midnighter a bit.

After they are gone, Midnighter and Apollo wash up but Apollo makes a move on Midnighter and soon the clothes are off and the hanky panky begins. Later they relax post-coitally in bed and Apollo asks if he needs to kill so much.  He knows Henry Bendix took him and experimented on him, stole his memory and put a fight computer in his head, "perfected you for murder", but he worries that killing isn't always the solution.   Midnighter says he was made for, he can't change it and "some people just need to be killed."

We then get a montage of an off screen voice asking various super-natural villains and anti-heroes something.  They all say no, including Extrano a Peruvian wizard who notoriously was DC's first gay male character and was a flamboyantly offensive stereotype.  Though he's toned it down here.  Finally three zombie people agree saying "no price is too high..."

The employer turns out to be Bendix, Midnighter's creator.   He hands them a package which contains the supernatural gun "The Ace Of Winchesters" which first appeared in Garth Ennis's Hitman comic.  In return for it, the beings who are "The Lords of the Gun" will make Apollo and Midnighter suffer. They leave and Bendix calls for a door and walks through it back to his bunker.

Bendix

Midnighter is now on his own.  He also has access to door technology and jump round verious locations beating people up until he discovers one who knows Bendix's location and very quickly transports there.  Bendix isn't phased by this despite how dangerous Midnighter is.  Midnighter states his intention to kill him, but Bendix says he is ready. He blocks off all the door access and limits the way out to on foot, "and in my pocket I've got an impossible choice."

Back in Opal City, Apollo is fighting The Mawzir, the demon who wields the Ace of Winchesters.   Midnighter watches them in horror. The Mawzir fires the Ace of Winchesters at him and they penetrate Apollo's defences.  For Apollo, everything goes black.  Some time later he wakes up where a voice says to think of the time he felt perfect happiness and to "know that you will never reach it again."  The voice belongs to Neron, Lord of Hell and he continues saying "now let's see if we can put out that light, shall we?"

Bendix tells Midnighter that the bunker is teleport shielded and to get to the surface he'll have to fight through a gauntlet he's created for him, "every second you waste your lover is dying."  Bendix says he'll have to spare him and starts to say Midnighter's catch-phrase that he knows how this fight ends, but Midnighter cuts him off by jamming a sharp object into Bendix's throat.

We then get a montage of Midnight smashing his way to the surface while the Mawzir stands over Apollo's prone body. When Midnighter reaches the top he calls for a door and travels to where they are and delivers a mighty kick to the Mawzir's head. Mawzir just tells him he cannot be killed "the Mawzir is the kill."  Midnighter says that's his brand. Mawzir tells him The Lords of The Gun would welcome him.

Midnighter says he attacked Apollo.  Mawzir says Apollo's death is a debt paid and that bargains are their stock in trade.  Midnighter tells him it'll suffer the way Bendix has.

Mawzir: "Absurd.  You couldn't hope to touch me.  I'd think one such as you, and aspiring master of death would appreciate my craftmanship."
He fades away leaving Midnight holding Apollo's dead body, kissing his head tenderly and just sitting with him as a crowd gathers round.

Apollo has fallen.

Three days later Midnighter is jogging with Marina.  She ends up embracing him saying she doesn't have to grieve alone. But Midnighter says that's Apollo's not dead, she thinks he's in denial, but at his home he has Apollo's body laid out, it still glows and doesn't appear to be decaying. He suits up and says "I won't stop Apollo.  I'll never stop."

We then journey to Lima, Peru.  Midnighter is talking with Extrano, he says he's dropped that name, he's just Gregorio now. Midnighter gets down to business, he knows Apollo's soul has travelled, but he needs to know where.  He asks Gregorio to "help me, or show me the door." Gregorio says he was always going to help he just wanted Midnighter to know the weight of the thing.

They drink a potion which makes a spell course through them.  He tells Midnighter not to fight it as they go "beyond our world, beyond the solid, the real... listen...for Apollo's heart."  Which is currently roasting on a fire as Apollo is shackled and being taunted by a Lord of Hell called Percifer.  Apollo is still wounded from where the Mawzir hit him, Percifer says he can be healed at the cost of forgetting Midnighter. 

Apollo in hell.

He ends up making Apollo so angry that he blasts the shackles apart and starts flying up with several other tortured souls holding onto him.  Using his eye beams he blows Lord Percifer up, and keeps heading upwards.  But the blackness never ends and long tentacles wrap round him and drag him back down. He is brought down to where Neron is. Neron tells him there are no gods here only him, "and your light is mine to extinguish".  You may recall Neron as the demon John Constantine tangled with in The Art of The Deal.

Gregorio wakes up and breaks the news to Midnighter that Apollo is in hell.  Midnighter says a lot of people are going to get there wish, "I'm finally going to hell."  We cut to him still at Gregorio's place and Midighter is kneeling in the middle of a magic circle, Gregorio says he's ready now and he hands Midnighter a black candle, one of the voluntary ways to  get into hell. 

The Black Candle.

Gregorio tells him that the Mawzir is made out of stitched together criminals and that the Ace of Winchester is an "eldritch rifle." He tells Midnighter that now he can fight in hell but if he activates its full power his body will burn out, even with his healing abilities he'll burn out in seve minutes.  Midnighter says don't talk numbers,they have Apollo down there.

In hell Neron tells Apollo that many people think his greatest wepon is lies, but that is a lie.  In fact "my sharpest blade, the one that cuts clean and deep is the truth."  Apollo is sitting at a board with a game on it.  It's called the Mansion of Happiness:

Neron: "Players advance and regress at the whim of their own virtue and vice, struggling to reach happiness. In the ages since I plucked the board from time, I've come to love it. Shall we test your virtue Apollo?  Shall we weigh your sins."

Apollo says bring it.   He rolls and moves, landing on a vice square, pride. Neron says for a "fraud God" that's accurate.  Apollo says it's not that simple but Neron says no matter how stubbornly he averts his eyes "aspiring pride and insolence" are his sins.

Apollo says he named himself after a god to give people hope.  They needs symbols like he did when he was young.  He gives up part of who he is so he can be more for them, "it's not pride. It's sacrifice."  Neron takes a turn and lands on a blank square.  Neron tells Apollo "ignore the simple fact... you're not a hero.  because there are none." Apollo makes a move and lands on the "Murder" square, something he and Midnighter know a lot about says Neron.

Back on Earth Midnighter calls on a suburban house in Virginia.  A kindly looking old man opens the door.  But Midnighter can see through that and sees the hulking green demon he really is and he punches him back into the living room.  Midnighter stands over him saying he wants the Ace of Winchesters.  The demon tells him the Lords of the Gun have it now.  He taunts Midnighter saying where is his revenge now?  And so Midnighter smashes his fist into his face to "relieve some stress."

He goes to Al's Masse, his favourite bar. He tells Tony, the bar owner, that he's going somewhere where even he doesn't know what to expect.  He tells Tony this could be their last drink.  Tony asks if he's doing the right thing.  Midnighter says Apollo is gone, this is the only thing he can do.  Tony says go and get his man back but this won't be a last drink, he'll keep a glass clean for him when he gets back.

Back at Midnighter's flat he touches his forehead to Apollo's and tells him to hold on, he's on his way.  He tells Gregorio he didn't find the Ace of WInchesters but he found a bullet.  So if he can get a hold of the gun he can put the bullet in it and fire.  Midnighter then lights the black candle and fades away leaving the candle hovering in the air.

Apollo and Neron play a game.

Apollo and Neron are still playing, Apollo lands on a Murder square again.  Neron says he must take the hint, he kills and kills.  Apollo says Neron doesn't understand killing.  He knows all to well what it means "and I accept it."

Apollo: "It's a bad world.  It hurt me.  It hurt Midnighter.  People deserve what we never had.  They deserve to know the bad things are gone for good."

He says that murder didn't bring him here and he would gladly go to hell if it meant someone else didn't have to.  Silently Neron takes a drink then says he's never lost the game and he said he'd show Apollo the truth that he can hope, rationalise and believe but in the end no one makes it to the Mansion of Happiness.

Midnighter has arrived in hell and is doing what he does best, ripping demons apart. He approaches the Lord of the Gun's home.  The Lords hover above him, telling him where he can find the Mawzir.  They say he has no way of harming the Mawzir, "there are no fight computers in hell.  Just fighting. You're walking into a slaughter house." 

Midnighter versus hell.

Midnight carries on regardless thinking that won't be the first time. Inside the building the Mawzir is in the smashed and broken remains of the Ace of Winchesters is dropped at his feet. The Mawzir says that Midnighter had lost his hope now.  His hands are filled with guns, what about Midnighters?

Back with Apollo and Neron, he says the game is pointless.  Neron says the game has shown him pride, lust, anger and murder. He should give up his soul, "whatever you were in life, hell is where you belong." Apollo yells that it isn't and fires his eye blasts.

Midnighter is facing off against the Mawzir.  The Mawzir throws one of Midnighter's badass boasts in his face.  Then he says that Midnighter is challenging him in the place where "murder was defined." He says he shot Apollo down but the price for Apollo's death was the gun that lies in bits on the ground, the only one that can harm him.  He says Midnighter has no hope, but Midnighter grins and produces the bullet.

Meanwhile Neron and Apollo are hovering in the air, Apollo demands to know what Neron doesn't just take his soul.  But Neron says there is no relish in taking it "when you could give it to me instead".  Meanwhile Midnighter and the Mawzir are fighting Midnighter dodges all the Mawzir's bullets and throws the single bullet he has at him.  The Mawzir catches it sneering that it's not the first time he's caught a bullet, but Midnighter rushes him and headbuts the hand holding the bullet, driving it deep into the Mawzir's brain.

The Mawzir is going down.

The Mawzir collapses and Midnighter tells him that's for hurting Apollo.  Who is currently still floating in the air with Neron, who tells him he wants to break Apollo's mind, "it is the long pain that interests me."  Apollo says he's heard it before.  When he was twelve he came out to his family, it didn't go well and he was sent to live with his aunt.  Then he was abducted by aliens and spent years on an operating table as they tried to make themselves their own version of Superman.

When he escaped and got home his dad now had two reasons to say he wasn't human, "you think you can break me, Neron?  People have been trying to break me entire life."  But he tells Neron that if he wants his soul he just needs to answer one question.

Apollo: "Get it right?  My soul is yours.  Get it wrong?  You restore my power... and I leave this place."

Back with Midnighter, the Lords of the Gun say they are impressed with Midnighter. They offer Midnighter a place with them.  But Midnighter firmly tells them no world exists where someone could hurt Apollo and escape his vengeance.  He grabs one of them and asks where Apollo is, it tells him they bartered his soul to Neron and Midnight asks where to find him.

Neron has accepted Apollo's challenge.  Apollo tells him that he has to guess why Apollo chose that name for himself.  Neron says he thinks he is a god and Apollo thinks he has earned that name and thinks he deserves more, "you think you've earned power, I've seen it before."  He says he has answered and Apollo must speak, Apollo stays silent while Neron rants:

Neron: "Human"  I am hatred itself!  You stand before the wages of your every sin!  You cannot deny me in this place!  You will speak!"

But Apollo stays silent.  Meanwhile Midnighter has fought his way to Neron's castle.  He enters the throne room and sees Neron on his throne and Apollo in a giant bottle.  He tells Neron he is here for Apollo and also to kick his ass. Neron laughs saying Midnighter can barely stand but he'll accept a deal to fight for Apollo's soul.  He says that Apollo tried to outwit him with a riddle, Midnighter says he's always been a thinker but he has something simpler in mind, and caked in demon blood he grins and says "lets go."

Still ready for battle.

We get a flashback to when Gregorio handed over the black candle, saying that as long as it stays lit the portal to hell will stay open.  He then tells him that he has bound something "the most powerful of his kind" inside Midnighter. It will grant seven minutes of power and seven minutes of agony.

Back in Neron's castle, Neron says Midnighter has no enhancements here and yet he would still fight for Apollo's soul.  He says Neron isn't just a name, it's a concept, "what chance does a man have before the inspiration of all that hurts?"  Midnighter says he has his fists.  Neron says he will grant Midnighter the first strike for all the good it will do him.

Midnighter says "screw your charity".  He kneels on the floor and says he's been thinking of how they got here.  He thinks that maybe all the fights they have had, their whole lives have been building to this.  Us against Neron the "father of all bastards."  He says he puts people down using one simple rule, hit softs things with your hand and hit hard things with a utensil, "and I'm wondering as utensil's go..."

..."how's this" and he releases a energy powered being.  Neron says he can see that Midnighter has brought a sliver of an angel's power with him and his body can barely contain it.  But he says he has no power over him, "I devour angels.  I am the living refute to their creator".  He punches Midnighter who just says "liar."

Midnighter and Neron fight.

They grapple as Neron says that he and Apollo were always destined for hell, "you cannot change the working of reality!"  But Midnighter says he's never been much for rules and headbutts Neron. They keep beating on each other until Midnighter throws a punch hard enough to floor Neron. Midnighter stands over him saying that Neron thought he was safe here, "you think you answer to no one.  But you're wrong.  You answer to me".  And he stamps on Neron's head, before saying ".. guess my seven minutes are up" and he collapses.

Neron manages to say to him that he'll never touch Apollo again.  Midnighter crawls towards where Apollo is being held in the bottle.  He breaks out and holds Midnighter saying they'll get out of here and it's going to be OK.  But that turns out to be an illusion, the Apollo was a fake, "is that how you thought it would end?" Neron says standing over Midnighter's prone body.

He says he destroyed Apollo's soul after he tried to outwit him.  So no matter what the outcome of their meeting "... you would never have anyone to save."  Apollo was gone before Midnighter even got to the castle.  But Neron was lying, Apollo is alive and flying around hell somewhat lost.  Neron tells Midnighter that a beating was worth it to craft this moment where Midnighter lost.

Midnighter keeps trash talking Neron despite being badly injured and Apollo, who is flying aimlesssly about hell, hears his voice.  He can't believe it, but he starts racing to where it was coming from saying to himself, "you're late.  But don't worry.  I'm not leaving without you."

Neron gloats.

Neron stands over the broken Midnighter and sneers "do you feel like a winner?"  As Apollo races towards where they are, Neron tells him Apollo is dead and Midnighter gave up his body to beat him, "did you ever think I'd let you go?"  Midnighter redefined murder and was destined to meet him.  There are no heroes in hell, "you've fought me since your first punch."  He is going to unspool Midnighter's soul, "evil wins."
"Not today asshole" shouts Apollo as he blasts his way in and punches Neron smashing him backwards shattering his throne.  He yells at Neron saying he lost the bet, restored his power and released him from his castle, but stranded him a billion leagues across hell. He would have been lost forever but he heard Midnighter's voice. Neron says the illusion Apollo is dead is broken, but Apollo will remain free.

Neron then summons a horde of Midnighter and Apollo's victims and fades away.  Midnighter is on his feet again, Apollo says he hopes Midnighter has a plan to get out of here.  Midnighter says that Apollo was his plan.  Apollo lifts him up and they fly up searching for the portal the candle has been keeping open.  They are still being chased by the beings out to kill them.

Midnighter: "You know, Neron thought he knew how this would end.  He was wrong.  But I knew.  Screw him.  Screw this place.  This is our story.  And in our story... we don't die in the end."

And they come barrelling out through the portal into Midnighter's flat.   Apollo wakes up back in his body and rushes to Midnighter's side.  Midnighter says he feels sore like he hasn't for years and his body and fight computer are rebooting, "just tell me one thing.  Did we kick the devil's ass?" And they have a huge kiss.

And the pair are physically reunited.

A few days later both of them are visting Gregorio in Peru with some of their friends.  Gregorio says it's good to have them here:

Gregorio: "They walked lands few dare to tread.  Beat back death itself.  They did not stop.  And I thank them for that.  For the inspiration to fight on."

He goes on to say that this isn't the end, that more attacks will come over the next few years.  But as he looks around he sees bad news for them, "because we're stronger than ever."

Back in Opal City, Midnighter and Apollo are playing a board game.  Midnighter pauses saying he needs to say something.  He went down there for him, he's already ready to kill, but then he was ready to die. He almost died and that would make anyone rethink things. He knows death better than ever and it didn't scare him, losing Apollo did.  No one should have to lose what's closest to them.

He says that "anyone who tries to take that from people deserves to die. And I'm happy to help". He says that maybe that's not what Apollo wants to hear but that's who he is and he won't change and he just wants Apollo to be sure.   Apollo responds by saying that he beat Neron with one question, why he calls himself Apollo.

He thought it was just power but it never was.  Hyacinth, Apollo's lover.  Apollo knew Hyacinth was doomed but refused to let Hades claim him.  So he turned him into something better. He knows who Midnighter is and eve if he thinks he's doomed "I refuse to accept it".

Apollo: "You and anyone else in the world who thinks they've fallen too far... I'll always pull you back to the light."

Midnighter tells Apollo he loves him. Damn right says Apollo.  So what will they do now?  Midnighter says "I figure we spend the rest of our days reminding bastards they can survive living without a spine.  That work for you".  They walk to the bedroom and start getting undressed as Apollo says, "what do you think?"  And that brings this miniseries to a close.

And the lived sexily ever after.

So we bid farewell to Midnighter and Apollo as they fade back into bit players of the DC universe, probably being wheeled out for guest appearances every now and then. I absolutely think Midnighter will get another series at some point in the future.  He's a very interesting character, hard on the outside with a soft centre.  And of course being a gay man who is not stereotyped or has his sexuality played down makes him a very important character when it comes to LGBT representation in comics.  This story was a excellet one.  I'm a sucker for grand romantic gestures and travelling to hell to rescue your lover is the stuff legends are made of.  Some great fan service too, the Grant Morrison Subway Pirates and the Garth Ennis Mawzir and Lords of the Gun were weaved in seamlessly.  And it was nice to see a rehabilitated Extrano too.  Somehow it's fitting that the first DC gay male character got to appear in a story about a current gay male character reminding us how representations have changed over the years.  Writer Steve Orlando gives us a tight plot that wraps up loose ends from the series and tells the story with wit and intelligence.  I must also praise Fernando Blanco's artwork.  It has a nice crunchy, gritty feel to it but also depicts faces extremely expressively.  It does make me sad that Midnighter right now can't support an ongoing series, I'd love it if DC would make more of an effort to push modern diverse superheroes instead of the same old, same old heroes that have been round for decades and whose characterisation never goes anywhere lest it incur the wrath of fanboys.  Oh well.  Without getting too bitter I will end on a positive note.  This is a grand tale of love beyond death and well worth reading if you are at all interested in the characters.  Two thumbs up.

Constantine The Hellblazer Book 2: The Art Of The Deal (#7-13)

"All the magic in the world, and fooling your audience is stil the greatest trick" - John Constantine

Time to return to that year long period between the New 52 and The DC Rebirth known as the DCYou.  This is the second and final volume of this version of John Constantine, a character with a long history.  He began in the mid eighties as a supporting character in Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing and was created by Moore and artists Steve Bissette and John Totleben.  He gained his own title in the late eighties called "Hellblazer", moving to the Vertigo label when that debuted and this ran for three hundred issues including an acclaimed run by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon.  His New 52 series, "Constantine" and his membership of the "Justice League Dark" was rather less well received and so a full reboot happened with this series, taking the cockney warlock to New York City and as diversity was one of the selling points of the DCYou it also explores his bisexuality too.  In book one he hit it off with a burly restaurant owner called Oliver and the first book concluded with him inviting Oliver in for the night.  Book 2 picks up the following morning as John reflects on relationships and the trouble they always bring. Written by Ming Doyle and James Tynion IV.  Art by Riley Rossmo, Travel Foreman, Eryk Donovan, Brian Level and Joseph Silver.

We begin with a couple canoodling in a park, unfortunately this brings them to the attention of some crazed nymphs who rip the couple to bits leaving their bloody entrails hanging from the trees.  We then cut to John, sitting on the floor in boxers and a shirt observing Oliver sleeping on the bed.  He admits to himself that he might have made a terrible mistake, "but I'm having trouble denying myself here."

Romantic, but foreboding as well.

Oliver wakes up and John says he's brave hanging about, John is dangerous and he should be wary of him.  Oliver says he just wants breakfast.  John says he's the cook, whip something up. "You only want me for my brioche" says Oliver.  John starts listening to a message on his answering machine, which is from someone called "Papa".  Oliver asks if the person is from Trinidad, but John quickly turns the machine off saying it's a wrong number.

Oliver goes for a shower while John thinks that he should be terrified and wanting to run away, "nothing about this adds up."  Then Oliver calls him into the bathroom, there are plant tendrils everywhere.  John tells Oliver to skip the shower while John takes care of this.  But before Oliver can leave, Swamp Thing - the plant elemental, manifests in the bathroom.  He dismisses John's annoyance at his appearance and tells him young people are dying horrible deaths.

Swamp Thing: "Something is upsetting the Green, all the Green in New York.  More than usual.  More than can be suffered.  It is calamitious."

Oliver decides this is his cue to leave.  John says it's for the best but he'll call tonight.   Oliver leaves and Swamp Thing asks if he is interrupting anything?  John says yes, but nevermind. He wants to know the details.

Swamp Thing tells him that in the past month fourteen couples have been found in Central Park, "ripped and rended to the bone."  One person has survived. She claims the trees came to life and thrashed her partner to bits, before returning to being trees as beautiful as before. "They were only trees. But they'd eaten a man" says Swamp Thing.  The Green that connects all plant life on earth is not actively malicious, trees alone do not eat people.

John says he can think of a few ways this could happen but ot would require a place with a lot of raw magic and New York isn't that spot.  Swamp Thing says the Green is closed to him here, in Central Park he feels nothing and cannot enter it.  He wants John to "spread my essence through the park so I can take back control."  John asks if he was Swamp Things first choice as a "go-to gardener".  Swamp Thing admits he wasn't and he wouldn't have come to him if it could have been avoided.  His methods are too unorthodox "and your a bit of an asshole".  He then asks if they had to take the subway as the rest of the people in the carriage take pictures of them.  John says it's good PR.

You meet allsorts on the subway.

They stand just outside Central Park as John pulls buds from Swamp Thing's back.   Swamp Thing says if he was to try and set foot in there right now, he'd wither away.  The buds will reconnect him with the Green once inside.  John sets off while     Swamp Thing waits.  While John wanders round the park with the buds he reflects on his relationship with Swamp Thing, he's an incredibly powerful plant elemental with the personality of a dead human called Alec Holland.  He's the Guardian of the Green now and John admits he's let him down a few times.

After spreading someone out he calls Swamp Thing through one of the buds.  Swamp Thing says he has a tenuous foothold but something is trying to force him out.  He can break through but it will take time, "the creature is close I can feel it."  John then comes across a lesbian couple making out, he says he's the "sex police" and they should get back to art school from whence they came.

The couple run off and a dryad comes out of the shadows.  John tells them he scared her friends off.  Then he sees that she is "tripping high as a kite."  More dryads appear and start growing claws and monstrous faces, John thinks about how human pheromones tends to send the "lovely little buggers into murderous rages".  Once slashs John across the face.  He sees Swamp Thing struggling to grow out of the ground and runs over to him, the dryads in hot pursuit.

Half out of the ground Swamp Thing says he is trying to talk to the Green here but it won't listen.  John tells him to hurry up and find someone they will listen too.  Swamp Thing abandons the half grown body saying he shall return.  To protect himself from the angry nymphs surrounding him, John tosses a lit match onto the ground and some catch fire.  Then Swamp Thing reappears growing up in full, he tells John he found someone they would listen to.

The crazed nypmhs attack

He has summoned the "Great Nypmh Mother" who calms them down.  She tells John and Swamp Thing that it has been a long time since magic was wild and dangerous enough for new nymphs to emerge and the wood to come to life.  With no older nymphs to guide them, they lashed out, but now they will learn peace and she tells John no more of his kind will come to harm.   She says that she can feel it in the air:

Greath Nymph Mother: "This city is rich with powerful energy... some dark force is funneling it in, making it ready for something.  My girls, they are just the beginning.  They are terraforming the city into something new.  If this is your home, you should be gravely concerned."

John just says everyone keeps telling him that.  Is everything OK here?  Swamp Thing says he will commune with the Mother and the young nymphs to make sure they are settled.  He then offers John some advice, "let that human go.  What you're doing is a mistake,  And it will destroy him.  If you care at all, let him go back to his ordinary life."

"That it, then?" asks John, "that's it" says Swamp Thing.  John leaves thinking that he knows Swamp Thing is right much as he hates to hear it.   Every sign he is seeing now points to danger and it seems inevitable that Oliver will get dragged into it.  A world of magic and madness doesn't mix with "a strong, tall drink of normal".  Once home he phones Oliver only to have the phone picked up by Papa Midnight who is holding a sword to Oliver's throat and Oliver is also tied up with occult symbols drawn on him. "I am afraid Oliver is a bit indisposed at the moment.  Might I take a message" he grins evilly.

Oliver, Papa Midnite and Gerald the rooster-snake.

The next chapter begins with a female demon inviting two horned male demons into Club Midnight. She notes their forms flickered for a moment and asks if they are shapeshifters.  One says they have come straight from the City of Dis, thought antlers might impress the "prettiest thing on eight legs up here".   She tells them they should hold their forms for the evening or they'll be thrown out.  One of the antlered men flirts with her which she brushes off with disdain and the two demons carry on into the club.

Inside one tells the other it was easy, but the other grabs him and slams him into the wall and we see now it's Papa Midnite shoving John.  Midnite says John is making a fool of himself and will get them caught. Changing forms as they went through the door was a terrible risk.

John: "First off Papa Midnite, we're playing demons,  Demons are vain.  Did you see the other lot we came in with?  Changed their form about fifteen times in the queue. Second, you give them a flawm something to focus on and they don't see the larger issuem in this case, that two humans just came in wearing intricate glamours."

Midnite tells John not to berate him.  John notes Midnite had done some redecorating, he says a King must take pride in his Kingdom.  John says yeah but thre are new kings about, aren't there?

John and Midnite in disguise.

Johh then thinks back to when he first came to New York years ago.  He was abducted in his sleep by three men with lifeless faces and their mouths sewn shut.  They knocked him out and shoved him in a bag and when he came too he was in a penthouse with Papa Midnite a "deep voice rumbled behind me that everyhing I could see belonged to him".  He told John that for nearly twenty years the magical criminal underworld of New York funneled through this building.  The heart of darkness in New York City all thanks to the man who thought he owned it all. Papa Midnite. But things change.

Two hours ago.  John ha arrived at Oliver's place and is laughing his head off at the fact Papa Midnite has lost everything and is reduced to turning to John for help.  He tells Oliver he'll be alright, Oliver notes that the snake coiled round him has a roosters head.  "Yeah.  It's fun isn't it?" replies John.  Papa Midnite demands John show respect.

But John says that Midnite just told him that he'd wanted to double his money by running his business tax free and his brilliant idea was to trust a "bunch of sketchy businessfolk to run Midnight on paper and now you're surprised they voted you out?"  And that he didn't think for a minute that behind it might be that "ghoulish banker Mr. Rumor" whose been after the building for years.  Midnite has nothing, no power, no nightclub, no money, no army of zombies, "so no I do not resect you.  I am not afraid of you. And I am not going to help you."

Midnite snaps his fingers saying they'll play the game his way then.  The snake/rooster familiar is called Gerald and his bite is extremely venomous, and it bites Oliver hard in the shoulder. The anti-venom exists in the safe in his old penthouse with it is a totem that allows him to regain ful control of his subjects.  John angrily says Oliver is innocent in all this, but Midnite says he made the unwise decision "to believe you are something more than you are." Reluctantly John says he is in, but why is he needed?  Midnite says he needs a man who has broken through defences he often thought unbreakable, so he must do exactly as Midnite says "or you dear little chef friend will die."

Back at Club Midnight, Constantine is doing some gambling to the annoyance of Midnite.  Then a demon-lord called Neron comes in.  Once a minor player after the upheavels in hell of th 80's he negociated and back-stabbed his way to the largest Arch-Dukedom in all of hell.  Popping up on Earth during the the soul trade he quickly became the richest demon around, "he one of the most dangerous beings in existence.  And a real ass hole."

The demon greeter tells him Mr. Rumor is waiting upstairs for him.  Neron uses his fire breath to burn her clean away then says the place needs straightening up if their plan is going to work. John says to Midnite that one of the worst demons in existence owns the club and by helping him he's painting a target on his back the size of the Empire State Building.  Midnite calles him a coward.

John says he can break the rules when he knows the rules and doesn't like no knowing what kind of mess he's walking into.  Why would he want this place he demands to know.  Midnite just says to remember why they are here, there are two roads to the penthouse but the protections he has built are impenetrable.  He launches into a detailed explanation but there is no need to know them because John's plan doesn't require engaging with them.

John's secret way in.

The way that John had broken into Midnite's living quarters seven times in the past five years was that "I took the bloody stairs.  The real ones".  And he slashs open the wall to reveal a set of ordinary stairs that  lead up to the top of the pocket dimension a hundred times larger than what he pays for.  They clamber up, Midnite says these are "base reality? Earth?"  John says yes.  Then he opens the wall where the penthouse is and get straight to the safe.  Midnight tries to stop him, but too late. "What is this?!" scowls John.

They stand before a swirling portal, which Midnite calls a "Hellgate" a portal to the underworld which powers the pocket dimension.   He says he can't let Neron get a hold of it.  John says it's an insanely dangerous item and he can't believe he'd risk everyone's lives with this.  Midnite just tells him they are going through the "pens" and to get his disguise back up.

Back with Oliver and Gerald.  Oliver asks how long he's been a talking rooster thing?  Gerald responds, "how long have you had catastrophic taste in men?"  Oliver says he admits this is a little more than he signed on for.  What kind of man is John?

Gerald: "The very worst kind.  He's killed or ruined everyone he's ever loved. So I hope what you have is casual, though it doesn't look like it, I'll admit".

He goes on to tell Oliver how he sent a little girl's soul to hell and sacrificed his closest friend to a hunger demon (both incidents chronicled in the first storylines of his solo series). Oliver asks why he did that to a little girl?  Gerald says he was trying to save her from a monster but wound up delivering her into the arms of something worse.  And the oldest friend asks Oliver?   The friend had let a displaced hunger demon loose in New York says Gerald and it wanted to eat the whole city.  John fed it his friend to trap it.  Papa Midnite saw it all go down. "Seems like.. he was trying to do.. some good.  And good is tough to get right" says Oliver.

Back with Johna and Midnite in disguise walking quickly through the human pens. John tells Midnite that Mr. Rumor has been buying up pieces of the city for years, every bit of magic he can get his claws on.  And now he not only has a building with an active Hell Portal, he's working for one of the most dangerous demons of all.  It's serious, this last few weeks all the magic of the city os going haywire "and it's all because of the two of them and whatever they're planning".

Here Neron and Mr. Rumor have demons from every corner of hell, "eating out of their hands."  Suddenly a couple of horned demons note that they are both shape-shifters as they queue to speak with Neron.  John compliments the place and the two horned demons say more establishments like this will crop up.  More reasons to make the trip from hell they say.  Mr. Rumor says what they are doing is a game changer to be sure, "isn't that right, Mister Constantine" and he removes the glamours from John and Midnight. "Oh balls" says John.  "Now what?" panics Midnite. "Now we're definitely going to die" says John.

Discovered.

After a brief intro to the DC Hell, we see John and Midnite both stripped to the waist and lashed to two poles with barbed wire. Thw demon torturing John says he can avoid all this pain and suffering if he just makes a deal with it, "give usss your soul.  Give us everything".  John spits in the demon's face, Midnite pleads with him to stop antagonising their captors.  They say they don't mind, they get to do this all day long.

John: "Well isn't that peachy?  But it looks like my soul is still my soul and you're not going to win this little back and forth.  I promise you that."

Neron appears snorts that it forgets how stupid humans can be.   It asks if John has really contemplated the nature of his predicament yet? And it shoves his hand in John chest and rips his heart out. Neron tells him in a long speech that humans suck, the torture will go on for enternity and that he has an evil plan to do something big to New York.

Neron lays out his evil plan.

He tells John that he's given up every trace of his humanity "while scraping and stealing the barest threads of magic."  But if any loser is willing to pay Neron's exhorbitant price they will be able to have real magic.  Humanity will sell their souls in their thousands to him just for a moment when magic is real and "the mysteries of the world are far deeper than they ever imagined."  He's talking about commodifying magic and bringing it to whoever wants it.  New York will become "the centre of infernal commerce" and he will become the richest entity on Earth and in Hell.

He offers John a deal to join him topside and he'll give him magical power like he's never dreamed of and spent his whole life chasing.  It would be decades before he'd set foot in Hell again. John refuses as does the prideful Midnite who can't forgive Neron for stealing his livelihood instead of coming to him directly.   Neron says oh well and lets them rest for the night before the torture begins again and he leaves them.  Both have been taken down off the poles for now and begin to discuss how to escape.

Midnite doesn't think they stand a chance, John tells him to pull himself together or he'll make him suffer.  Then suddenly a flamboyant demon appears to them.  She's called "Blythe" and known to John.  She hands John and Midnite some clothes and as they dress she says that she and John know each other intimately, although he did then banish her down here.   If they want to get out, it's time to make a deal.

Enter Blythe.

She says all the entrances to Earth are currently blocked, Neron's doing.  But she happens to know of a side-path they can exploit.   Her deal is that she doesn't want their souls, she wants out of Hell.   She can show them the way, but he'll have to pull her through.   Johns says, "well.  How can I refuse?"  And off they go.

John keeps making sarky remarks which incites Midnite to say he'll kick his teeth in and Blythe to say she preferred it when he didn't talk.   She leaps on a small demon guarding the way and rips its throat out.  Midnite compliments her "great prowess and grace."  John says he has terrible taste.

They snea past some more demons then find themselves at a statue of an Angel, although it is a real Angel petrified, turned into public art by Neron. At the bottom is a small pool of water that can make even demons tells the truth.   Suddenly two giant hooded demons appear.  Blythe says "oh... we may die here."  But thinking quickly John splashes them with the truth water and asks if they would prefer to eat each other.  They agree and start fighting, leaving John and co. to carry on.

They reach the exit and find a guard posted there.  Midnite decides to try and "glamour him blind" but before he can, John hurls a brick at the demon and knocks him out.  Blythe then takes some of John's blood to draw a sigil, John says to hurry he still have Oliver to free from "Papa's evil clutches."  Midnite however admits he didn't poison Oliver and John is pissed about be tricked into helping Midnite.

John: "Just one more person treating me as a commodity, a resource to trade around?"

Midnite says they can argue about it topside as Blythe finishes the sigil and opens the door.   John says if he goes through it the portal closes right away correct?   Still angry he tells Midnite and Blythe to "go choke on it" and walks through the door alone.

Constantine breaks his deal with Blythe.

Unfortunately this door didn't lead to Earth, instead he finds himself in the realm of the Faeries.  This is not good. Faerieland is considered worse than Hell. A demon told him Hell is Hell but in Faerieland "you lose every piece of yourself.  You think you're in heaven." You have everything you ever wanted and you feel Godly, it is the home of the "wildest magic.  A place shaped by whim and fancy".

John: "Faeries aren't these pleasant little helper Tinkerbell.  They're corrosive beings of pure emotions, who just want to feel everything amazing constantly and forever and humans are their favourite toys."

As John narrates this we see two punkish looking faeries slit the throat of a pegasus and drink its rainbodw covered blood, kissing as it drips on them then smearing it all over themselves in wild joy.

A faerie at play.

Hiding John observes them and narrates that fairy stories weren't fun stories, they were warnings.   He grumbles that he'd knock Blythe back to Hell fora third time if he knew this was where she was sending them.   He knows what she was thinking though, Hell has a bureaucracy but Faerie has no rules, "the only power here is pleasure as those who wield it best call the shots."

The faeries spot him and he tries to run but the plants catch him.  The faerie leader riding a horse asks who he is, he says he is just a traveller and he's keeping his name to himself.  But one grabs his wallet and reveals what it is.  She says she has a deal with Neron and tells the plants to hold him while she goes get Neron.

John whispers to the faerie guarding him, Flutterbee.   He offers him a deal, if he takes him to Earth he can enjoy more pleasure than he ever thought of.   He knows magic that "will make your mind pulse with orgiastic pleasure." Flutterbee agrees to this deal and zaps him back to New York.  But he says he can't feel the pleasure John promised. John breaks his neck and leaves him, although he'll be up and healed in a short while.

John: "Breaking a pact with a faerie has no consequences... but a deal with a demon?  That's gonna bite me on the ass."

He mulls over whether he'll be able to pay the price as he heads to where Oliver is being held.  He can feel Neron's influence in New York already, soon humans will start falling into his trap, "and I won't be one of them."  Talking of Neron, he's giving his army of demons a pep talk. He promises, "that everyone of you is going to have more squirming, screaming, delicious human souls on your plates than you can eat!"

Oliver back with his daughters.

John arrives at where Oliver is being held.  He begs to himself, "please, just... don't let me have gotten him killed".  He opens the door and finds Oliver alive with Gerald still wrapped round him.   Oliver tells Gerald he told him John would come.  John unwraps the magical held snake-rooster and frees Oliver.   Oliver says they'll have a long talks about this later but first he needs to get back to his daughters.  Oliver bids Gerald farewell and Geralds does the same, warning him about John too. 

John asks Oliver is he has a place to stay outside the city?  Oliver says his daughters mother lives in New Jersey.  John says something bad is going down in New York and they all need to get out.   They arrive at Oliver's house and he hugs his young daughters.  One of them asks John "you're daddy's new boyfriend?"  John can't stick around, he has a weak spot for kids because they are so defenceless.

John: "How could I even think it was OK to know someone like Oliver when I could ruin these other innocent lives?"

And he turns to leave. Oliver tries to stop him, he wants him to come to New Jersey with him.  John says his plans changed and did Oliver just blank on twenty-four hours of chicken constrictor fun? He has kids for gods sake.  Oliver says he won't be letting them face that sort of stuff, "and you're dead wrong if you think I'm letting you face all that crap alone."

John says it's his life, he can handle it and he's only know Oliver three months.  Oliver says John does't get it, he wants to get "serious" about him and he can't let him get killed.   John says he'd be endangring his children over a man he's known for a few months.  He says he's not the man he knew if he'd do that to his family.  Oliver says what kind of a man would he be who gave up on someone clearly hurting. John refuses to back down and walks out the door as they continue arguing.  He has the final word advising Oliver to pack up and leave the city and then he is gone.

As he walks away he mull over the fact that he's had relationships turn out much worse and if Oliver does heed his advice he'll be at least one human saved from New York.   He can already see the demons out on the streets. And he has decided to let it be, R.I.P New York "I'm not Batman and you're not my bloody responsibilty.  No more meddling from me."

Uh-oh.

Meanwhile Oliver is getting ready to go out and find John, he's hired a baby sitter at short notice although we don't see her face yet.   He hugs his daughters then says he has to go remind his friend that, "running away never fixes anything". He then departs and as his daughters wave him good bye we see the babysitter is Blythe grinning a psychotic grin.

We cut to John in L.A, feeling guilty about abandoning New York while simultaneously trying to justify himself to himself. He thinks the people here are smug, how they have found all the cheat codes to life..  They form groups and pledge themselves to higher powers to meet the right people. who are better than everyone, "it is the city of Angels after all."

He minds controls a bouncer to let him into an exclusive club and says he's "here to talk to the ratty little pigeon in charge of the place."  And an angel manifests in front of him saying he should chill out and have another drink.  They chat somewhat carefully, the angel says the magic here is closely guarded:

Angel: "Can you imagine if the demons got their hands on the film industry?  The way they could twist people minds?"

He's strengthened the border so New York's cast offs can't enter their domain.  He surprised John made across the county line.  John says he can "break all the rules I want".  But others cannot says the angel.

Snooty L.A. angel.

John tells him what Neron in up to in New York, selling magic and evicting the cities magical commnunity who have nowhere else to go.   The angel just says he will not have L.A's magic sullied by lesser beings.  When John asks where he expects them to go the angel says he hears Portland is nice.  He says he's never seen John like this before, John says "I just want a bloody place to live."

We then cut to him in Orange County talking with a demon called Bartleby who he has done a favour for and is even now.   Bartleby is one of New York's magical refugees. Bartleby says some have been talking about setting up shop here on the outskirts of L.A. "Maybe spend a hundred years or so proving to thise snobby pricks that we're not going to wreck this party" he grumbles.  John gets up to leave but Bartleby notes he still has a "horse in this race don't you?"  John checks his phone, sees Oliver has left him messages and says he is going where he can get the most alcohol for the least money.

He arrives in a bar and orders a drink.  He flirts with the woman sat next to him, but turns out she is being possessed by a D.C. character called "Deadman", the ghost of murdered circus performer Boston Brand, brought back to life by a pagan goddess and able to take over the body of anyone he wants. Deadman tells him things all out of whack back east and "you gotta stop bummin' around and get back to work."

John says he's working on some angles right now then puts his head on the bar and mumbles, "give me time."  Deadman says what Neron is doing is dark stuff and they can't punch their way through, they need a clever bloke like John to sort things out, so will he come back to the "rotten apple?"  John gets up and starts to leave. He says he didn't make the city ripe for takeover, "this isn't on me."

So Deadman grabs John and surfs out of the woman's body into Johns which he can't take over fully but can do so enough to  get him into a cab, to the airport and onto a plan bound for New York where he finally releases his hold on him and moves into the body of the person sat next to him so they can talk properly.

Deadman in John's body both fighting for control.

Deadman says he can tell John really does want to help, "why you pretendin' you don't care what happens in New York?" John says he doesn't care he's helping himself.

Deadman: "Nah, that ain't it.  You do want to help.  But something's scaring you from facing the problem head on.  That's why you ran away an' hid with the refugees in L.A. You knew the angels were a dead end.  What you are Johnnyboy is a bit of a hero.  I'm just confused as to why you ain't acting like it."

John insists he is no hero and casts a spell that zaps Deadman away.  He arrives back in New York and has to stay for a night as there are no flights back to L.A. until tomorrow.  He thinks he won't be in the city long enough to be sucked into the chaos again.  Then he bumps into a drunken Oliver who pleads desperately with him, "they took them, John.  They took my little girls.  They took them to Hell and you're the only one who can get them back."

John ruminates on the nature of the city, how it's alive with a strange twisted soul.   It's a city that wants people to fight for it and now John is going to make a stand:

John: "Not because I care... that's trite.  Let Neron and the demons tear the world apart.  I'll make my own place But they just had to make it personal.  They had to cut deep."

He gently kisses Oliver and goes to try and get his kids back, blaming himself with every step he takes.  "So all right New York.  If it's a fight you want.. I'll show you an good time" he thinks resolutely.

He barges into Papa Midnite's club which is full of demons and also Midnite, he made a deal with Neron to get out of hell and he has everything back, his riches, his club, his zombies, everything.  John calls him a lapdog, but then Neron appears and invites him to sit down.

Neron tells John he is an "insignificant speck on the wall."  He has nothing to offer Neron while Neron has everything.   In one day he's racked up over one hundred thousand souls, "crackling with potential."  Because people in New York are so lively and ambitious the quality of their souls is very high.  John says he just wants two souls, "the daughters of someone very dear to me."

John being tormented.

Neron shows him the girls wreathed in flames and crying that it hurts.  John runs to them but they disappear.  Blythe appears and gloats saying that John shouldn't have broken the deal with her.  But she's made one with Neron as well.  He owes Blythe a "binding debt" now.  And Blythe tells him that means he is not to move and wrest the city from demonkind, he cannot oppose Neron and he cannot exorcise them from this realm, "there.  You're bound to it now and powerless."  And he can give her nothing more valuable than the horror in his face.  Then Neron tells him to piss off out of his club.

John goes to the bar where Oliver is drinking.  He tells Oliver he tried but his hands have been "metaphysically tied."  Oliver pushes him away saying he had thought John needed a friend and some good in his life, but he's a "black hole" he destroys people and makes them worthless.  He walks out saying he's going to figure out something of his own and stay away from John like he should have done before.

Oliver verbally lashes out at John.

Miserably John carries on drinking for a while.  A woman starts flirting with him asking if he's someone important?  He says he's nothing, just a black hole who swallows up good people. Then suddenly he has an epiphany, "no value" he says to himself, "I know how to beat Neron without breaking the command."  Meanwhile Midnite, Neron and Midnite are discussing how they screwed John over. Midnite thinks they should have killed him.

Midnite: "Constantine just has a way of popping up like an unexpected dagger in the back and he's not done.  Not yet."

Elsewhere the ghostly Deadman, plant elemental Swamp Thing and female magician Zatanna are trying to figure out how to save New York.   Swampy says "there is no hope." But then John appears telling them he has a masterplan to deal with this, "it's irredeemably ill-considered, breaks every bloody rule of magic, and we'll probably perish in extra grisly ways, Who's in?"  They look at him dumbstruck.

We then cut to a naked John covered in sigils sitting in the middle of a pentagram with many candles round him. He tapping into the deep, primal magic that gives every city "a real and palpable personality." In magic circles it's considered profane to meddle with it, the only writings about it warn not to do it.  But he doesn't care, rules are stupid and he begins to cast his spell.

John puts his plan in action.

We then cut to Neron arguing with Midnite who has felt something occur. Then a lesser demon runs in and tells Neron something is happening to his souls.  In a rage Neron appears to John who is exhausted and bloody from the ritual. Neron says he was bound by magical pact not to oppose him.   But John says he just tapped into the deep magic of the city and "I just made New York City the most boring city on the face of the Earth."

No ambition, no curiousity, the place has less personality "than a 20-person farming town."  Neron's souls have no value now, both the ones he has and the ones he is cultivating. He's lost his grip on power and how long before a challenger rises up against him. John looks him in the eye and says:

John: "Remember.  You made this personal.  You brought this on yourself.  If you'd played your cards differently, I'd just have sat back and watched the ship go down.  But you just had to gloat, didn't you?"

Then Lady Alexandriel of the Faerie folk appears saying she wants to do business with him.  She'll take the city and all the souls in it and he can have all the souls she got piling up in her domain that he's paid her for safe passage through her domain in the past.

Neron sells New York to the faeries.

Neron agrees to the offer and leaves, threatening John with retribution later.  John tells Lady Alexandria that New York will be back to its old self in a few hours.  She states that a city will be a "marvellous playground."  John then asks for the souls of Oliver's kids and she agrees, while also ruminating that the city's magic users should be coming back soon.  They won't want to miss the party.

John goes back to the bar to tell Oliver the good news, while patting himself on the back mentally for fooling Neron.  But Oliver is grim.  He already made a deal of his own, he puts his girls first no matter what and they are there standing beside him.  Blythe then appears and John shouts "No!"  He tells Oliver he didn't need to do this. but Oliver just says to get them to their mum and then they'll be through.  John covers the girl's eyes as Blythe burns Oliver dragging him down to Hell.

Oliver sacrifices himself for his kids.

Later after he's dropped them off a depressed John decides he's going to move on to "anywhere but here."  He finds Midnite sitting on a bench.  He laments that he doesn't want to play hero or villain anymore, He's done here.  "And now I just want to be alone" he says.  And as he walk away Midnite says mockingly, "you always will be John. You always will be." The end.

Cue melabcholy theme.. and we're out.

And so this concludes this incarnation of John Constantine and as someone who's been reading his exploits since his first appearence in Swamp Thing I thought these few issues really nailed the character.  He is essentially a very tragic character, lovers and friends have always been casualties of his dealings with taking on the world of magic, demons, faeries and angels.  Oliver was a superb character, I loved how wasn't fazed by Swamp Thing appearing in the shower and how he ended up making friends with his captor Gerald and that he was determined to see the good in John which of course ended up destroying him.  I have to wonder if this series had run longer would Oliver have been spared for a while?  It would have been fun contrasting his down-to-earthness with John's more fantastical existance.  A bit like Nancy in Squirrel Girl.  I'd have loved that.  John still wins out against the forces of evil by always finding the loophole he can exploit and his tricking of Neron by making New York boring (temporarily) was genius.  But as ever he never gets to celebrate his victory because it came at a cost, Oliver's soul.  The art changed from artist to artist fairly smoothly, although my preference is far Riley Rossmo's art in the first few issues and Ming Doyle and James Tynion IV did a fantastic job writing a gripping story of a hellish takeover, using continuity sparingly and really capturing John's "voice" as it were.  Anyway, apologies for the lack of updates this month, blame the cold that would not die.  So Happy Christmas all gentle readers.  There might be a Dragonball post next week if I can tear myself away from my Xbox One!