Megacity Undercover 2: Living The Low Life (Judge Dredd Megazine #271-274, 2000AD #1624-1631, 2000AD 2010 Special, 2000AD #1700-1709)

"A mad city sometimes needs a mad Judge" - Thora via Dirty Frank's Journal.

Alert readers might notice that I never did volume one of Megacity Undercover.  There is a reason I have jumped to the second volume and that reason is "Dirty Frank".  The Megacity Undercover stories are about the undercover "Wally Squad" of Judges who operate in the Low Life the most deprived and crime ridden parts of Megacity One, written by Rob Williams and drawn by a variety of artists.  The first book started with a Wally Squad character called Zero stealing a large quantity of cash and escaping from his job and the clutches of the Judges.  Then the rest of the strips concentrated on the adventures of female Wally Squader Aimee Nixon, the stories although decent, were nothing special just fairly run-of-the-mill gritty cop drama.  Then one of the other Judges in the squad, Dirty Frank, drawn to look like Alan Moore and always referring to himself in the third person started stealing some of the lime-light.  And with the second volume, we get three arcs, one about Aimee, a character who I find somewhat... boring.  And two fantastic ones featuring Dirty Frank which I shall look at in more detail, plus a festive one-off.  The Dirty Frank stories also have the advantage of being drawn by D'Isreali, an utterly fantastic artist who has a very distinct style well suited to black and white artwork and adds much to the enjoyment of the escapades of the disreputable Mr. Frank.

 In Aimee's story - WAR WITHOUT BORDERS - she uncovers a plot to smuggle "Sov" citizens (Russians) into Megacity One in an operation disguised as a pro-democracy union one.  She angst a lot about her existence in the Low Life and accidentally compromises herself so she can't tell the other Judges about the Sov angle.  But really this is Dirty Frank's book, so lets begin with his first arc collected in this volume.

CREATION - The story begins with a Judge with a stomach wound crawling through a snowy landscape.  He ends up lying on his back looking at a glowing snowflake on his glove.  Then the action returns to what I assume is the present and Dirty Frank, the tramp like Wally Squad member is talking to a child and telling him to be wary of him.  The child wants to know who he is:

Child: "Judge Dredd!"

Dirty Frank: "No".

Child: "Chief Judge Hershey!"

Dirty Frank: "No"

Child: "Robo-Wing, night glider of awesome!"

Dirty Frank: "You just made him up."

Introducing Dirty Frank

 The childs mother calls the kid away, and Thora - the head of the Wally Squad - arrives with a thuggish looking fellow called Cameron.  He's Dirty Frank's replacement.

Thora: "There's only so much crazy the badge can take.  It's over."

Back at Wally Squad HQ they discuss a new drug called "Creation" which allows people to imagine they are God's of their own private universe.  Frank wants to know if he should infiltrate the Creation network.  Thora says there has been some discussion about keeping the drug legal as it's sedating the populous of the Low Life. So for now he and Cameron are to do some street digging.

Aimee Nixon turns up to see Frank off on his last case.  Frank calls her the best Wally Squad Judge he has ever worked with and he and Cameron leave.

Dirty Frank: "Thankyou for coming Aimee.  Now Dirty Frank and his replacement Bertrand Russell here must away."

Cameron: "Nice ass."

Later we are privy to Dirty Frank's journal where he notes Cameron is at least useful for physical intimidation.  They chase after a Creation dealer which leaves Dirty Frank out of breath and seriously pondering if this is over for him.  Cameron has caught the man and they ask him what he knows about Creation.

The action cuts to two men admiring a billboard advertising household products with a biblical theme.  One man says he did good right?  Pushing through all the permits.  The other person says he can tell the "Big Man" himself and a person who looks like a demon shows up.

This won't end well...

We are then introduced to Thadeus Manning III a fussy little man in a bowler hat who works for the planning permission bureau and is investigating why permits were allotted that gave one company a monopoly over one city sector.  He discovers the man who pushed the permits through hanged in his own home.

The action then moves back to Dirty Frank and Cameron.  Cameron says Dirty Frank gives him a headache "everytime you open your crazy mouth".

Dirty Frank: "That implies brain function at least."

Cameron points a gun at him and tells him to stop talking.  He wants to know if Dirty Frank even carries a weapon.  Dirty Frank doesn't.  He then tells Frank that they're supposed to be able to go back into uniform tommorrow if needed.

Cameron has some harsh words.

Cameron: "Do you honestly think you could do that Frank?"

He than says Dirty Frank is crazy and he's going to hit some drug dealers.  He busts in on a bunch of people nodding out on Creation.  Suddenly Cameron sees a cherub floating in front of him.  He freezes up and leaves the scene.  Dirty Frank meanwhile ponders the Biblical billboard outside.

Later he and Cameron get caught in a rain of frongs, localised to the Low Life. They then chase a drug dealer who escapes via boat, but then a huge whale appears and swallows him up.  Cameron freaks out and says it's somehow Dirty Frank's fault.

Cameron: "You're a drokking disease!  You're infecting things!  You're turning me crazy!  You make everything around you crazy!"

Dirty Frank has a small flashback to being the Judge with the stomach wound and the snowflake on his palm.  Then he and Cameron escape the whale.

Not an everyday occurance in MC1

We then see a motley collection of villains and a man with his back to the reader who says they've all had a glimpse of what's going on out on the streets.  The demon man says "It's time to turn up the heat."

Meanwhile Dirty Frank and Cameron are hit by a huge tidal wave racing through the Low Life.  before they can get into real trouble, the fall out of the water into the bit where the waters have parted.  Dirty Frank's case notes wonder who is to profit from all this chaos?

Various Biblical scenes are occuring in the Low Life.  Joseph's are singing and burning bushes are giving out celebrity gossip. Thora has gathered the Wally Squad to find out how they can "turn off the crazy".  Then her finger creates a powerful energy projectile and unable to control it she blows a hole in Wally Squad HQ and everyone gets separated.

A serendipidous meeting.

Dirty Frank and a catatonic Cameron are floating on a makeshift raft and discover Thaddeus holding onto a spire.  He joins them on the raft and yells about the billboard monopoly.  Back with the demon-man.  He says all the villains have paid half a million cred each to take advantage of the choas and plunder the Low Life.

Dirty Frank reaches one of the billboards, he smashes it and as the billboard flickers off, the water ceases to exist and Dirty Frank, Cameron and Thaddeus go plummeting towards the ground.  The billboard flickers back on long enough to create more water to slow their descent so when it finally breaks for good they hit the ground not too hard.  They are all still briefly knocked out.

Dirty Frank remembers the snowflake on his palm again.  Then as he recovers, he asks how Thaddeus has been able to keep his sanity in the face of the chaos.

Thaddeus: "This city.  She sustains and tethers me.  Even in what appears to be her most disorderly, most hopeless state, I see order."

Dirty Frank sees a huge snowflake in the air and says he knows what Thaddeus means.  Dirty Frank punches Cameron a couple of times to bring him round, then tells him to go with Thaddeus to disable all the billboards.  Cameron apologises to Dirty Frank:

Cameron: "Frank, I'm sorry I lost it there for a while.  This type of stuff... it's not me.  Maybe, maybe this shouldn't be your last case after all."

Dirty Frank: "Maybe.  We shall see."

The demon-man and the assorted villains are cuasing mayhem.  The demon-man says the "Big Man" has shown them the future.  Dirty Frank arrives alone and says he's going to put a stop to it.  He is mocked by everyone, but ploughs on asking why the Big Man has targetted the Low Life.  The demon-man says he has "vested interests" in the area.  Dirty Frank then tells the criminals to do what they must, he's "just an unwanted redundant man on his final job". The criminal's all shoot at him and he blocks their shots with his hand saying "ah it works".  Then he turns into a shining, winged hero and starts to fight the demon-man.

Take that demon-man!

Dirty Frank says that it took a needlessly ambiguous flashback and a blow to the head to realise the billboards were projectin nano-technology that reacts to the Creation drug.  They put it in the water supply to infect everyone and the criminals got the antidote and access to a crime jamboree.

As they fight, Dirty Frank says "where there are nightmares, there are also dreams and the power of belief."  When the demon-man demands to know how he is doing this Dirty Frank says he "sees order where others see chaos."  He smashes a fist through the demon-man then turns his attention to the other criminals.  Unfortunately the billboard effects wear off and he is back to normal.

The villains all point guns at him, but then get blasted into little bits by Cameron who has arrived on the scene with a massive gun.

Cameron: "Guess everyone has their own roles in this world, huh, Frank?"

A happy end for Frank.

And with all the billboards turned off and things back to normal it's decided to let Dirty Frank stay on as a Judge.  The story ends with a flashback to Frank in the snow being rescued, imagining he is on a beach somewhere.  Dirty Frank muses that he is not mad:

Dirty Frank: "Dirty Frank is just more.. imaginative than most, that's all.  And sometimes that's just enough to save the day."

And so ends the first Dirty Frank arc.  There is a one-shot that follows called JIVE TURKEY in which the dreadfully hungover members of the Wally Squad meet on Boxing Day and discover Dirty FRank isn't there.  He's infiltrated a criminal organisation of fatties and is presented with a huge turkey he must participate in eating to keep his cover.  The rest of the Wally Squad go to rescue him, but find him merrily eating the turkey even though the rest of the criminals have shot each other and Dirty Frank has arrested the ring leader.  There is a lot of spewing.  This is a nice bit of fun because the next Dirty Frank arc, Hostile Takeover is very dark and serious indeed.

HOSTILE TAKEOVER - The story begins with a Japanese geisha looking woman staring out of a top floor office window.  A man comes over to her and says "Nixon, he is ready for you now".  Then the action moves to Dirty Frank who has supplied a giant robot in ladies clothes for a bank robbery plan.  "Cross dressing Trev" is defended by Frank for his gender expression and the gang leader shrugs and says as long as it gets the job done.

Dirty Frank: "You are a man of honour and rare wisdowm, crazed gang leader Jay."

Cross Dressing Trev in action.

He and Jay storm a bank on top of Trev and break in through the ceiling.  With corrupt Judge Stewart letting them be.  Inside the bank Frank asks if he has done enough to meet the Big Man.  Jay says he'll get to meet him soon.  Dirty Frank makes a note that this brings him closer to his overall goal of taking the Big Man down...

We then jump forwards thirteen days.  Dirty Frank meets with his Wally Squad boss Thora.

Thora: "Have you decided?"

Dirty Frank: "Dirty Frank has.  It's a no".

Thora: "I'm really sorry about that."

She pulls a gun but gets shot dead by a sniper bullet.  "So am I" says Frank to himself.

Back in the present a horder of samurai burst into a Low Life casino and masscare everyone then rob the place.  "The Big Man is gonna be pissed" when news of this is bought to him by corrupt Judge Stewart.  An angry Dirty Frank is there, describing in his notes the actions of Stewart as "a betrayal of the badge."  Jay goes to meet the Big Man alone, leaving Frank still desperate to meet him, hiself.

Aimee Nixon.

Aimee Nixon shows up on her motorbike and offers Frank a life.  She says the Big Man is turning into Dirty FRank's White Whale.  Suddenly a man steps out in front of them and holds out a katana.  It severs Aimee's good arm and she crashes the bike.  Samurai's appear and start to beat Dirty Frank. Aimee saves him from a killing blow and says "I'll help you.  A show of goodwill, please."  Dirty Frank is allowed to live although they knock him out.

When he comes too, he is surrounded by Judges and on a medical trolly.  He jumps off and rushes over to corrupt Judge Stewart and attacks him, telling him to tell him where they took Aimee.  But Stewart doesn't know.  Dirty Frank reveals his corruption and Stewart is arrested.  Stewart is taken to a place where Cameron can work him over.  Stewart sneers, saying the bruises will show and torture is illegal for Judges.  But they are going to beat him, put him in a turbo-heal tube, take him out rinse and repeat. 

Cameron has his uses.

Outside the room, Thora, Eric (a man stuck in the body of a toddler, long story) and Frank discuss this new faction making a play for the Big Man's turf.  Eric wonders why they've bothered coming all the way from Japan, Frank says the Big Man makes serious money from the Low Life.

Dirty Frank: "And where there is money.  There is the desire to take money.  Violently."

The story then moves to some scumbag rich men who are sniping random Low Lifers with tranq bullets.  A samurai appears and says they'll allow them to do it with real bullets at one million creds per shot.

Samurai: "The Big Man no longer runs this trip.  The Big Man no longer runs the Low Life.  There is New Management".

Aimee Nixon is strapped to a gurney and asks to make a phonecall.  She calls Thora and says one word "Akeldama".  Thora grimly says "Got it" just as Stewart breaks from his torture.

A full on gang war erupts in the Low Life.  Jay's gang is wiped out, only Jay survives.  He comes to Dirty Frank hoping for some help.  Dirty Frank says the best way to win this gang war is to use the Big Man's location to flush them out and into a trap.  Judge Stewart will back them up with a big gun.

Corrupt Judge Stewart.

Later Dirty Frank meets Thora in a bar, and she says the Judges are springing the trap now.  Thora says whoever has Aimee is cutting a deal with her.  Dirty Frank says the actions of her abductors aren't those of friends.

Thora: "No friends out here Frank...you know that.  Only angles."

Dirty Frank then goes to where the trap will be sprung.  Jay heads up the steps to the Big Man's house but gets decapitated.  The samurai and the Judges get into a fire-fight and in the confusion Dirty Frank goes into the Big Man's house, only to fin he hasn't been there for over three days.

Dirty Frank witnesses Thora blowing the head off one of the Samurai, who says to her before she does it that "he wil kill her for this."  Two days later, Eric and Cameron are trailing Dirty Frank and a bored Eric starts talking about killing himself and Cameron.  Dirty Frank notes that Stewart is still in the field thanks to Thora and he can't trust her now as he saw her commit murder.  He then spots Stewart speaking on a non-Judge comm device (a cellphone).  Dirty Frank just doesn't know who to trust anymore.

Not the most comforting conversation ever.

A gang of Japanese business on a plane are welcomes to Megacity One by a posse of Judges with heavy weaponry.  Dirty Frank witnesses this and is shot at by one of the Judges.  He falls through a hatch and Stewart looks down on him saying he'd be dead of not for the fact "she" wants to make him an offer.

There is a quick cut to Cameron leaving Eric's dead body in the car they were in.  The corrupt Judges take Dirty Frank to the top of a tall building.  Thora appears and sends the Judges away.  Dirty Frank ask if they work for her now.  She recuited Stewart after the torture session and now she wants Frank to join them.

Thora says they are just trying to keep the yakuza (Japanese mafia) out of the Low Life - "protecting what's ours".  Dirty Frank wants to know why they don't just arrest them.  Thora says that's "a little old fashioned."  She gives him several days to think things over.  As she leaves Dirty Frank asks if she knows where Aimee is.  She doesn't.

Thora pleads with Frank to join her renegade Judges.

Dirty Frank then discovers Eric's body and confronts Cameron about it.  After a scuffle which takes out some more samurai's, Cameron says Eric was going to kill him on Thora's orders and he acted in self defence.  With him and Cameron the only non-corrupt members of the Wally Squad, they wonder what to do next.  We then see that it was Cameron who sniped Thora in the flash forward.  He deals with the Judges bar Stewart who he shoots to disarm.  Dirty Frank looms over Stewart who also gets his finger sniped off to show no messing about, and asks him to tell him about the Big Man.

The action cuts to the Judges warring in the streets with the samurai and their giant robots.  Suddenly Frank appears with the huge Cross Dressing Trev and saves some Judges lives by crushing their opponents.  Then the shooting stops.

Trev says the day!

Dirty Frank is interviewed over the events by some Senior Judges.  The yakuza violence has stopped because they have what they want, they have the Low Life.  The yakuza fought the Bog Man who is probably dead now, who ran organised crime in the Low Life and enforced it with a large scale force of corrupt Judges defending his interests.  "Who was the Big Man" one of the senior Judges asks.  Dirty Frank does not know.

Two weeks later, Dirty Frank is neatly trimmed and back in uniform.  The Wally Squad's been put on hold for now and Frank is to behave like a normal Judge.

Dirty Frank: "Limitations and rigid definitions are his.  Neutered...Defeated."

He travels to a secret location where Stewart is strung up and being beaten by Cameron.  He admits Thora was taking orders from someone via cellphone. 

Some enhanced interrogation..

Frank finds the cellphone hidden in Thora's room at the sector house.  The memory has been wiped so he gets them from the cellphone company.  One number was registered to an penthouse rented by a Hondo company that doesn't exist.  He also found a recording on the phone:

Dirty Frank: "One word.  An instruction to warfare.  To protect the Low Life.  Akeldama.  Translation from Aramaic:  Field of Blood.  A field in Jeruselem bought with the money Judas earned by betraying Jesus.  And where he is said to have hanged himself.  No friends, just angles.  Aimee... where are you?"

A neat and tidy Frank looks way wrong.

And that brings "Hostile Takeover" to an end.  A real twisty-turny, urban thriller in which Dirty Frank is forced into a far more serious role than normal and proves well up to the challenge with his street honed instincts doggedly following the various trails being thrown up in front of him.  It's a shame the story ends on the downer of him being forced back into uniform, how long will he survive the restrictions of the normal Judges life?  I know there has been a further story in this series, so I am keeping an eye out for it being collected because I love Dirty Frank and want things to work out well for him.  His day in the limelight during the "Creation" storyline works on the wonderful conceit that one day trapped in the chaos of a snowy landscape, Frank found order in it through a snowflake and that was how he was able to transform himself into a superhero using his ability to discern order out of the chaos the drug and billboards were conjuring up.  It goes without saying D'Israeli's artwork is superb and Rob William's writes a fine example of the future police prodedural.  Come on Rebellion, release the next Megacity Undercover/Low Life book, I need to know what happens since you left us trade-waiters hanging!

Alan Moore Obscurities: Top Ten: Book 2 (#8-12)

"Do not weep.  Being is enough. There, that is all. I am done..." - Kapela

Let's talk about artists for a moment.  One of the reasons Alan Moore's time at pre-ABC Image and Awesome comics is so unsatisfying is not just because you can tell his heart wasn't in much of what he was writing, but also due to the poor quality of the artists he was paired with.  The only one he can have been at all happy with was fellow Swamp Thing collaborator Rick Vietch's work on the flashback sequences in Moore's Supreme run, which still suffered from the problem of too many poor quality artists on the modern day sequences.  Voodoo, his most dire work by far was a four issue miniseries with seven artists working on it, all at odds with each other.  Now even the best artist in the world couldn't have made Voodoo a classic, but it might have taken some of the edge off the worst aspects of the script.  But the Image years were something of a blip and Alan Moore generally has been very lucky to have artists who are perfect for the material he writes and both make each other sing.  It would have taken a dreadful artist to ruin Watchmen, but it's testement to Dave Gibbon's talent that over twenty-five years later, while I know the script off by heart I can still spot some new nuance in the artwork I had missed up until then. Ian Gibson on The Ballad Of Halo Jones, Steve Bissette and John Totleben on Swamp Thing, Dave Lloyd on V for Vendetta, Mick Gray and JH Williams III on Promethea, Eddie Campbell on From Hell, all created definitive visions of Moore scripts, and I'm adding Top Ten artists Zander Cannon and Gene Ha to that list, for managing to balance the crazy and colourful world of a city full of superheroes with a down-at-the-heel streetview of the day-to-day life of a cop.

The first issue begins with Peregrine getting up and ready for work.  She flies up to the part of the sky used for flying vehicles.  She's been called to a "Jump Bump" where two sets of teleporting travellers crash into each other and materialise is the same spot.   One of the victims is a huge, armoured horse headed alien called Kapela, a "white cavalry piece" in some mysterious game being played across the network. The other is a couple, their spaceship fused inside Kapela, the woman is dead, the man also fused in Kapela is alive, but cannot be freed. All they can do is wait for them both to die.  This is actually a shout out to a famous Homicide:  Life On The Street episode, where a man gets trapped between a train and the platform, which virtually severs him, only keeping the train in place is keeping him alive, but nothing can be done for him except the cops being with him as he slowly dies.

The aftermath of the Jump Bump. Note Astro Boy flying past on the top lefthand side!

Back at the Top Ten precinct, the Captain is being harrassed by the friends of Libra, or M'rralga Qualtz as she is really known as, who want her freed.  They are a superteam called The Sentinels she was once part of.  The Lieutenant is resisting this as she is in fact a serial killer.  They all go to see her and Libra tries to telepathically persaude Jackie to free her but just makes Jackie mad.   Meanwhile Corbeau is getting ready to visit the desination of the Trans World ticket found during the Graczik-Gromolko case investigation, hoping to find out more about the buyer of the strange radioactive drug they found.

At the crash site Peregrine questions the dying man, who is called Mr. Nebula.  He saw a human figure in the beam before the accident as did Kapela. A station worker who was knocked unconcious by the debris from th explosion comes round and they question him too. At the precinct, the Lieutenant notifies Grand Central that Corbeau will be visiting.  Central tell him that next wednesday there will be an inspection of Top Ten.  Back at the crash site the cops figure out the station worker is actually a 'porter, or a teleporter who makes unlicensed jumps across beams and who caused the accident and they arrest him.

Peregrine elects to stay with Kapela and Mr.Nebula until they pass on.  Later that night as numbness starts to claim Mr.Nebula, conversation turns to the life and death, with Kapela talking about it in the philosophy behind the mysterious game he is part of.

Kapela: "Just look above you.  Do you see? That is called the immense board of lights.. And that is the great black. And strewn across it, small and vulnerable and brave, that is the great white."

Mr. Nebula: "...And the great white, I mean there is so much more black.  A-are we losing?"

Kapela: "No.  Once there was only black. We are winning. All is right.  We can go."

And Mr. Nebula, then Kapela die.  The final page of this very emotive issue is Peregrine in silent prayer for them both. And you may call me a massive fucking pussy, but I tear up at the end of this issue Every. Damn. Time.  *sniffle*

A prayer for the deceased

The next issue gets off to a more light-hearted start as Cowboy Duane and his partner Pete go to check on the Ultramice problem in his Mum's flat.  The exterminator says there have been "problems".  A vexed Duane just wants his Mum out of his hair.

Exterminator: "Get enought science animals together, it's a big event.  Next thing it escalates, you get a whole Secret Crisis Wars crossover thing going on.  Inevitably cosmic powers get involved. You know how it is."

Oh Alan Moore, I love you.  Having a Crisis Crossover parody with cats and mice going on in a manky flat as a very minor subplot is just glorious.  Anyway, Duane and Pete leave, Duane bemoans the lack of sex life he has with his Mum staying with him.

Pete:  "Hey come on.  It's all gonna be over soon."

Duane: "Pete, you heard what he said.  Pretty soon we could have parallel world critters involved and mice from different time periods and stuff.  I am screwed buddy."

I could look at this page all day.  It's a parody of the Galactus Fantastic Four story, with lots of little mouse parody superheroes added in.  I especially like Wonder Woman mouse in the top right corner!

Back at the precinct the Captain is talking with Libra.  She believes she is soon to be killed, maybe by one of her friends.  He asks her if she is trying to humiliate him.  Libra says she could easily do that by telling everyone he is gay.

Corbeau has arrived at Grand Central, one of the many worlds where the Roman Empire never fell.  Corbeau is rather insultingly referred to as a "nubian" and it seems good old racism is alive and well on this world.  His welcome is not what he expected as he is shanghied into competing in a gladitorial game.  Being a cerified badass he wins a place in the final  Meanwhile, as this chapter comes to an end, as Irma-Geddon is waved off to work another portent of coming disaster is given by her precog husband, who suddenly senses something terrible will happen to her.

Corbeau in action.

Next issue sees the return of Robyn and Smax investigating the shooting death of a man in a night club.  Smax also mentions that today sees the inspection of the precinct by the Commissioner. Later at roll call, Jackson says she is worried they haven't heard back from Corbeau since he left for Grand Central.  Afterwards the Commissioner appears outside in a burst of purple light.

Commissioner: "I want to see how one of our smaller, more remote precincts works, in all it's grimy detail."

Captain Trayor shows her round, and she rudely refuses to shake hands or speak to Sally-Jo who is black.  She is more interested in seeing the forensic department.  Traynor says it's locked up at the moment due to the radiative drug inside.  Commander Bailey has the keys and he is in the canteen so they go down there.

In the canteen the synathestic cop Jackson suddenly hears The Ode To Joy, the music she heard during the Graczik investigation.  She realises she was hearing smell of the Commissioners perfume, and that the Commissioner was Graczik's off-world buyer. The Commissioner fires a huge energy blast at Jackson, but Li knocks her out of the way and takes the full force, killing her almost instantly.  Now it's out in the open that she is a villain the cops spring into action.

Smax: "Captain Traynor, sir? All due respect, sir.  Permission to use extreme force"

Traynor: "Break her ****ing neck, son"

Smax is such a badass.

Smax is able to resist her blasts, as he reads her out her rights she screams "just give me the Christ-damned Xenite!"  She knocks him over with a massive blast, so he gets up and blasts her back.  In the chaos walls are broken and Libra's cell gets smashed.  Libra panics and ends up getting killed. Smax and the Commissioner continue to fight but the Commissioner has the upper hand as Smax begins to tire.  Robyn has an idea, why not give her the Xenite?  So they do, all of it in one massive dose which knocks her out (interestingly this was the exact same way Ladytron gets taken down in Moore's run on WildC.A.T.s although the drug then was heroin).  Before she passes out she lets out one huge blast, knocking down a wall on top of Robyn, which sends Smax into a griefstricken rage.  She isn't dead though, trapped under the wreckage a strange transparent man called "The Rumor" addresses her.

Sadly this mysterious being is never referred to again.  Possibly he was a plot thread to be picked up in the next "season" of stories...

The next issue shows the precinct being rebuilt and the introduction of Joe PI, the robot replacement for Li.   Something I haven't touched upon yet in these recaps is the undercurrent of prejudice suffered by robots in the Top Ten world.  They are known as "clickers", which is roughly analogous to using the word nigger in our world.  So he gets a frosty welcome from Irma, who was Li's and now Joe's partner.  At roll call Kemlo tells everyone the Commissioner is being replaced and investigated and that Corbeau has been released and also that he won the gladitorial contest off-screen.  He also has a letter for a "Jaafe Macksun" who turns out to be Smax.

The next case, the murder of a Bubblegum boy mainly functions to show off what Joe PI can do.He is thoughtful and gentle with the victims partner (and it's heavily implied this is the couple who were having a domestic in the first issue and the wife finally killed her husband), and despite Pete prejucided remarks, Irma is impressed with him.  Jackson and Corbeau's family greet him at the Trans World station, he has a spiffy trophy from winning the tournament.  Jackson wonders why Corbeau's family walk so far behind him as they leave, he says it is traditional.

Joe PI's first case at Top Ten.

Smax visits Robyn in hospital, she was lucky to escape having a wall fall on her with bruises and a broken leg. Smax tells him his uncle Mack who bought him up has died - this is setting up the Smax miniseries that spun off from Top Ten. At the Top Ten precinct Captain Traynor is impressed by Joe PI's interview technique.  "Yeah he's real efficient" snaps Irma.

In the hall, Pete is mouthing off anti-robot prejudice while trying to get a candy bar out of a vending machine.  Joe appears and comments that is more common for humans to be aroused by robots than vice versa.  Pete is skeptical as he stands with his hand in the vending machine.

Joe PI: "Well with respect, I should point out that you're the one feeling up my retarded, hill-billy cousin Emmy Sue in public."

Pete: "WHAT?!" (jumps back in horror)

Joe PI: "Emmy Sue it breaks my heart to see you lowering yourself to this.  Cover yourself up girl and we'll say no more about it"

This makes Duane and Jackson helpless with laughter while Pete grouches that he needs to go wash his hand now.  Later they all attend Li's funeral, except for Joe PI.  Irma meets him outside the cemetary and accuses him of not respecting Li.  Joe says he actually didn't want Irma to accuse him of feigning emotion.  This makes Irma warm to him more and she takes him home with her, breaking down about Li in his arms when they get there.

An amusing nod to the tendency for superheroes to come back from the dead as well as riffing on the old cliche that only cops attend cop funerals.

The issue ends with Smax at Robyn's house where he has been looking after he elderly father.  He tells Smax to stop ordering him about and doesn't he have a father of his own.  Smax looks stricken, then mutters "Guess not".  The issue ends with him sitting outside looking thoughtful.

The final issue (Nooo!) begins with Jackie and Peregine watching the show reels M'rralga Qualtz handed over during the Libra investigation.   She was part of a superhero team called the Sentinels, and these were records of their "space war" battles, but something seems fake about them.  Then one reel turns out to be a porno and it really demonstrates were the Sentinels were about.

Sentinals propaganda.

Meanwhile, Duane's Mum is refusing to pay the exterminator for the removal of the Ultramice, apparently the event changed time and continuity and now only the exterminator remembers.  He gets enraged as he talks about getting paid, and Pete shocks him unconcious and he and Duane take the poor guy to the precinct under arrest.  Joe PI goes to pick up Irma and proves a big hit with her husband and kids.

Irma: "Hey, you know you AI's are almost too cute. How do I unplug you when you take over the world.

Joe PI: "Ask me the purpose of existence and I explode.  Come on, let's go to work.

At roll call the Captain tells them they have linked the shooting death in the nightclub to the Libra case.   The victim was affiliated with the Sentinels as part of a team called the Young Sentinels and he was planning on selling his story to the public.  Seems the Sentinels faked all their heroic off-world deeds and are in fact a paedophile ring, with the Young Sentinels as a grooming operation, the porno they saw proved it.   So it's time to take down the Sentinels.

They bust into the headquarters and arrest everyone on conspiracy to murder and statutory rape charges.  Duane and Pete go to the mansion of big hitter Lomax, who tries to attack Duane with his car.  Duane shoots it and it blows up with Lomax inside although Lomax is thrown clear by the blast and arrested.  Corbeau and Jackson go and collect the Young Sentinels to put them in protective custody. One of them telepathically warns Atoman and he locks himself in his bunker. Joe Pi and Irma are outside it and Smax turns up and tries to blast it open.  he fails.  So Joe Pi, over the intercom manages to convince Atoman that killing himself would be preferable to standing charges of paedophilia and Atoman vaporises himself. "Problem solved" comments Joe laconically.

Duane finally gets his badass moment.

At the hospital, Smax admits to Robyn that he would like it if she accompanied him back to his home world for the funeral of his uncle.  There are complications he doesn't elaborate on, but she agrees to do so anyway. The issue ends with Captain Traynor returning home to his older male partner.

Traynor: "I love you old man.  And that's enough right? Even in a city like this?"

And the book ends with the tantalising caption "End of Season One" implying more seasons that sadly never came.

So why was there no more Top Ten besides the spin-foff Smax and prequel, The 49ers?  I haven't found a definite reason online.  Speculation seems to suggest that it was an early casualty of Wildstorm selling itseif and the ABC imprint to DC who Moore absolutely hated by this point.  If you purchase these trade paperbacks now they are out under the Vertigo imprint rather than ABC.  It seems that Moore started to drop everything he wasn't passionately dedicated to, ie: everything bar Promethea and the League Of Extraodinary Gentlemen and Top Ten wasn't one he felt as much for.  Which is an awful shame, because of all his ABC work it's my hands down favourite.  Maybe I am biased because I love cop drama, but it is so choc full of incident, jokes, lovely character moments and drama that it rewards multiple rereadings like the very best of Moore.  There is also the rumour that despite it winning awards it was cancelled due to low sales, but the prescence of spin-offs would seem to preclude that.  Still, whatever the reason for it's demise, we have twelve issues here that deserve to be more well known and cherished and no one even got raped.  You CAN do it if you try Alan!

Alan Moore Obscurities: Top Ten: Book 1 (#1-7)

 "What did your last partner die of?  Drown in charm did they?" - Robyn

In the late 90's Alan Moore was working for Rob Leifeld's Awesome comics studio and was given the chance to revamp the whole line.  But before he got very far into it, Jim Lee, the owner of the Image imprint Wildstorm gave Alan an offer he couldn't refuse.  He could create a whole shared universe with characters of his own creation rather than working with already defined ones.  The studio was named ABC - America's Best Comics and the three main series that Moore came up with were Promethea, Tom Strong and Top Ten (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was also published under the ABC imprint, but was not part of the ABCverse, relying as it did on literature and pop culture from "our" universe). Of these three comics, Top Ten feels like the most overlooked.  Promethea is a stunning tour de force that was pretty much Moore's mission statement on life. Tom Strong was a love letter to the Silver Age that people were beginning to feel intense nostalgia for after the EXTREME 90's soured people on darker comic tales.  Top Ten though for my money is actually my favourite Moore work since Watchmen, predecated on one simple idea.  What would police work be like in a city where everyone, including the cops were superheroes?  The story manages to mix the gritty slice of life detective drama of Hill Street Blues and Homicide: Life On The Street with the bright and colourful world of the American superhero tropes.  Packed full of homages, jokes, clever references and just general all round awesomeness, these twelve issues, split across two trade paperbacks are gorgeously illustrated by Zander Cannon and Gene Ha and are something pretty special.

After a written, in universe description of a trip round Neopolis with a pair of cops, the comic begins. The first well-worn cop trope of the rookie police officer as our P.O.V character to all the weirdness that is due to unfold is put into action. Robyn, who doesn't have superpowers, but does have a set of mechanical toy helpers gets in a cab driven by a man with a blindfold on who uses his "zen senses" to get around the city. At the precinct she meets Jackie Kowalski, a lesbian who can phase shift, Duane, a cowboy with mechanical legs and Kemlo, a talking doberman in a robotic humanoid exo-skeleton.

Robyn and Smax

The Hill Street Blues style daily briefing takes place, where cases are updated and handed out. A serial killer called Libra is on the loose, killing prostitutes.  This provides one of the two on-going cases that thread through the series as a whole.  The next cop show trope to come into play is the teaming of the wide-eyed newbie and the gruff veteran, in this case Robyn with Jeff Smax.  He's a large blue man who is invulnerable and can fire an energy beam out of his chest.  His previous partner died, which adds extra layers of awkwardness to their relationship.

After breaking up a domestic dispute, Robyn and Smax are called to a murder scene.  Already there are Detectives Corbeau (a devil worshipper) and Jackson, a female detective who has synathesia and is reading the scene with her enhanced senses.  Robyn lets her toys comb the scene and finds some ID and a high tech saddle in the area.  Back at the precinct she has a chat in the canteen with Irma-Geddon, a woman with high tech armour and firepower and Li a woman who can make shifting patterns across her body.  They are called away by Kemlo who says they have traced the murder victim to a drug factory which they are now going to raid.

The factory raid

Robyn, Smax, Corbeau, Li, Irma and Jackson all gather at the factory and start the raid.  They meet armed resistence which they deal with and Robyn manages to disable a Professor Gromolko who was disposing of evidence in the cellar.  He lawyers up, so they take him back to the precinct for interrogation.  They bring in detective Glushko who is a telepath, but this makes Gromolko panic and before anyone can stop him, he grabs one of Duane's guns and blows his brains out.  The day comes to an end and Jackie invites Robyn out for a drink, but when Robyn realises Jackie is hitting on her she makes her excuses and leaves.  Back home she bids her senile father goodnight and so ends her eventful first day on the job.

Next day, Irma and Li are chatting in a car on the way to work when the Zen Cabbie crashes into them.  Back in the precinct Jackson is discussing the Gromolko case with Peregrine, a woman with wings who is also a devout Christian.  They are looking for the partner of the "saddle" man Stefan Graczik, a Marta "Boots" Wesson who was also a runner for Gromolko's drug operation.

Kemlo gives a briefing, Corbeau and Jackson are to handle the Gromolko case, Duane and Cheney are to keep an eye out for Libra and check the prostitutes are safe, and someone needs to go and help Irma and Li who have broken down in a bad part of town.  Smax and Robyn go to their aid.  An unruly gang has appeared and the leader is a drunken, green monster man who Smax stuns with his chest beam.  They take him and the Zen cabbie back to the precinct.

A drunken Grograh

Meanwhile, Duane and Cheney are called to what turns out to be a headless corpse of a hooker.  The signature of the Libra killer.  Cheney is upset because he recognises her as one he let off with a warning earlier when he found her about to service a man who could inflate himself. Back at the precinct, Robyn has had an idea about using the Zen Cabbie to help them out:

Cabbie: "Where'd you want to go?"

Jackson: "Well, you tell us, right? I mean 'where we end up is where we're meant to be'. Isn't that your line? Well, you take us where we're meant to be."

They make somewhat erratic progress through the streets and wind up at a derelict museum.  There they find Marta Wesson cowering in a corner and arrest her.

Nice boots Marta

At the precinct, the pathologist Sally-Jo, who can shrink down to a minute size, is exploring inside the dead, headless hooker who has been bought in.  Cause of death being fairly obvious. Jackie and Peregrine discuss the fact that this means Libra will strike twice more if he keeps to his pattern.

Marta Wesson is kicking up a fuss at the front desk, but she is subdued and taken into interrogation.  She says all they were doing were running supplies of 'goose juice (mongoose blood) and when she is told Gromolko killed himself she goes quiet and lawyers up.  Jackson is still pondering the Mozart music she heard round "saddles" Graczik's corpse.  Cheney and Duane go to collect Glushko, and their car is vandalised by gang members angry about Grograh's incarceration.  He's in lock-up currently being needled by Smax.  Robyn is concerned about gang violence escalating over this, but Smax doesn't care.

Smax: "If Duane and Pete want to treat him like he's some special, off-limits case, then fine.  To me, he's just the delinquent kid of a wino, has-been, fifties movie monster.  He screws up on my turf, he goes down.  End of story."

Jackie, Peregrine and Cheney

Meanwhile Cheney is confessing he met the hooker to Peregrine and Jackie, who are quite angry with him.  They look up the man she was found with and go round his house to question him.  He turns out to be married and has a panic attack and starts inflating uncontrollably, trapping Peregrine in the doorway to the house.  While this is going on, Marta Wesson's lawyer has got an affidavit to prevent mind reading.  Then suddenly there is a loud rumble from outside.  A huge Godzilla like creature has appeared outside the precinct.  It's Grograh's dad and he wants his boy back.

While everyone rushes outside, a woman comes into the precinct, gives Kemlo her severed finger and faints in his arms.  Outside, the drunken monster Gograh throws up radioactive puke all over the street.  The Captain takes charge, ordering cleanup and building evacuation.  He then starts reasoning with the monster until Smax comes out and starts baiting Gograh.  The pathologist, Sally-Jo arrives and uses her shrinking technology to shrink Gograh down to a size small enough to fit in the Capatains palm.  Then Sally-Jo goes to check on the fainted woman, noting the cleaness of the cut.

Grograh's dad comes to call

In interrogation, Corbeau and Jackson manage to get Marta to tell them Graczik was delivering something special.  But he decided they could make more money dealing it on their own and ripped Gromolko off.  They went into hiding at the museum.  So Corbeau, Jackson and Glushko go to investigate.  Robyn and Snax are sent to raid a club that had been supplied goose juice, and Jackie and Pergrine arrive with the inflatable man to question him over the hooker's death.

At the museum, Jackon hears music, but not Mozart, instead The Ode To Joy.  They discover Marta and Graczik's squat and the mysterious substance they were going to deal.  It's in a cylinder and turns out to be dangerously radioactive so they can't take it away just yet they need someone immune to radiation to collect it.

Corbeau, Jackson and Glushko find the mystery substance

At the precinct Ernesto Grograh and his still tiny dad are released. In autopsy the woman is introduced as Annette Duvalle.  She saw Libra and it wasn't human:

Annette: "I saw what I saw.  It came out of the drain, and it was like purple candyfloss".

So Kemlo, Annette, Duane, Cheney and Jackie go to where she was attacked and find a drainage hole open.  They are also fed the news that the bio-traces are extra terrerestrial in origin.

As Duane and Jackie descend into the hole, Duane gets a call from his Mum about a hole in her flat. Back at the precinct, Smax and Robyn are sent to collect the radioactive substance.  Lieutenant Peregrine is being told more about the alien.  It takes heads because it requires the pineal gland.  It's lifecycle meant that it's kills fell in a pattern, but otherwise it was a coincidence they all fell under the period of the sign of Libra.

In the sewers, Duane and Jackie joke around, then suddenly Duane yells at Jackie to phase.  They are faced with a huge alien, with thrashing, razor sharp monofilaments. Pete Cheney arrivesa and usesa his electrical powers to force it into a retreat.  They call for back-up, but everyone is busy.  Jackson says there has been a break in the Graczik-Gromolko casae, a transworld ticket was found along side the radioactive susbstance.  So Duane, Cheney and Jackson carry on chasing Libra themselves.

Jackie and Duane discover Libra

It bursts out of the ground where Kemlo and Annette are, slicing off Kemlo's ear and into his exoskeleton. Pete manages to run a charge through it powerful enough to knock it out.  A special wagon arrives to take it away and the cops go for coffee to recover.  Later Duane goes to visit his Mum and finds her flat has been invaded by Ultramice.

It's snowing in Neopolis and Smax is having a strange dream in which he meets dead people like his previous partner, and also Robyn appears which concerns him slightly.  He wakes up and goes to open the closet, inside is something speaking in rhyme but we don't find out what that is all about until the spin-off miniseries Smax. He collects Robyn, having warmed to her somewhat and they arrive at the station to find out Libra has been captured.  They go take a look, she is inside a glass cylinder being watched over by Kemlo, who is out of his exoskeleton while it gets repaired. 

Ultramice!

A disturbance is reported and Irma and Li are sent to check it out.  It turns out to be Santa, surrounded by a horde of kids, deciding who are naughty and nice.  He declares the officers naughty and dumps them in a pile of snow with his psychokinetic power.  Jackson sends a griping Smax out to give them some back-up.  Meanwhile, Duane has called an exterminator to deal with the Ultramice problem and reluctantly allows his Mum to come stay with him while the problem is dealt with.  The pest controller sends in Ultracats to deal with them and a war begins.

Back with Santa, he zaps Smax high into the air, resisting all attempts to deal with him.  Then Harry arrives from the precinct.  He is a hostage negociator who's power is that his voice must be obeyed.   This allows them to arrest Santa successfully.  Robyn and Smax head back, while Smax haltingly tells her about his dream and how he thinks he needs to be nicer to people before it's too late.  Then they are waylaid by the Norse Goddess Freya, who is distraught.  At a party in the Godz bar, someone has murdered her son.  Robyn and Smax arrive on the scene:

Smax: "Okay, Okay, we're police officers. Nobody move in a mysterious way."

Oh very good Alan. Very good.  I shall use that at the club next time I'm there.  People will be slapping my back for weeks.

At the precinct, Libra is using her telepathic power to try and get her guard to free her.  Jackosn stops the man, Hector and tells him that Libra used to be a porn star and is really called M'rrlga Qualtz.  Corbeau tells Jackson they finished testing the isotope, it's more of a compressed powder, designed to be dissolved and injected like a drug.  It's also not on their periodic table.

Trouble at the Godz bar

Jackson is called to the incident at the Godz bar.  The victim is Balder and the whole scenario is an excuse for Moore to riff comedically on Norse myth tropes.  The pathologist finds misletoe inside Balder's chest wound.  Apparently everyone was throwing things at Balder, because nothing could harm him except misletoe.  Turns out the blind God Hod threw it. Smax finds him hiding in the toilets. He says he was given the misletoe by Lokk.  Jackson asks Lokk if this is true.

Lokk: "I mean there's Balder, he's all 'look at me, I'm lovely, everything loves me'.  I mean I'm the God of Evil, what am I gonna do?"

Back at the precinct, the Captain tells Corbeau he should book a ticket to Grand Central to follow up the Graczik-Gromolko case. Then a group of heroes arrive demanding to see M'rrlga Qualtz asa she used to be a member of their supergroup.  They refuse to believe she is a killer, and when the Captain takes them to see her, she has changed into a pretty green humanoid woman.

Back at Godz, Corbeau is having a good laugh, pointing out the death of Balder is a cyclical thing.  To prove him right, Balder suddenly comes back to life to the cheers of the rest of the Gods who decide they'll celebrate by playing the "throw things at Balder" game.  Jackson declares the whole thing a waste of time and all the cops there go for coffee.  Thus ends book one.

I've really only skimmed the surface here, there are plenty of small side cases going on per issue asa well as the two on-going ones I chose to concentrate on.  There is so much character stuff crammed into the book and such a wonderful cast of characters that it really works as a mixture of gritty cop drama and superhero nonsense.  And what a great selection of female characters as well.  Quick thinking Robyn, matronly Irma, sultry Li, uber professional Jackson, gentle Peregrine, caring Sally-Jo, wise-cracking Jackie; it really goes to show Moore hasn't lost his touch when writing believable and very different female voices. It's a very talky book, but not at the expense of action, helping to flesh out the world of Neopolis through a combination of Moore's naturalistic dialogue and Cannon and Ha's exquisitely detailed artwork. It really is a shame there is only five more issues to go.