Alan Moore Obscurities: SMAX (#1-5)

"A Dragonslayer? Jesus Jeff, couldn't you have, I don't know, been a lumberjack or something? Why a Dragonslayer?" - Robyn

"Well, if I'm honest, it was mostly the damsels" - Jeff

Last year I covered the two collected volumes of Alan Moore's less well known work from his America's Best Comics years, Top Ten.  It was set in a city where everyone has superpowers and followed the work of the Top Ten precinct whose also superpowered cops kept the peace.  It was very much influenced by shows like Homicide: Life On The Street and Hill Street Blues and managed to convey a gritty down-to-earth sensibility despite all the colourful characters in it thanks to the layouts of Zander Cannon and the finishes of Gene Ha.  While the first "season" wrapped up neatly, in the final panel there was the promise of a second season that never came.  Moore wasn't done with Top Ten though.  Several years later he worked on a prequel graphic novel with Gene Ha called The Fourty-Niners, and this five issue miniseries with Zander Cannon which starts not long after the events that concluded Top Ten season one. It spotlights Jeff Smax, a tall and powerful blue ogre whose superpower is being able to project a powerful energy beam and his human partner Robyn who doesn't have an intrinsic power but has a gang of intelligent toys that help her out, as they travel to one of the more farflung alternate earths to help clear up some loose threads in his past.

First thing that's noticable is how different the art is from Top Ten.  Zander Cannon did the layouts for that comic and Gene Ha the detailing so overall Top Ten looks more like Gene Ha's work than Zander's.  However this is a merry tale of fantasy cliches with dwarves, elves, dragons and quests, so this art style is actually very suitable and I assume Zander Cannon tailored his art appropriately.  It's bright and cheerful and generally more suitable to the lighter mood this adventure has than the Top Ten art style would have been, in the same way Gene Ha's uber detailed, painted work is suitable for his turn with the heavily sci-fi Top Ten in The 49'ers.

Jeff Smax and Robyn.

The story begins with Robyn, her leg still in plaster from the events at the end of Top Ten, called on Jeff Smax to collect him for the journey to his homeworld to attend his uncle's funeral.  Inside his home, Jeff packs several things including a singing sword.  They travel by taxi to the Transworld station where all the alternate Earths can be accessed.

Jeff's world, Earth 137, is a "backworld".  Instead of the sci-fi means of travel to the main words, they have to travel via magic spell to 137.  They stand in the summoning circle and the wizard begins the spell, Jeff tells Robyn to close her eyes, but too late.  She vomit's copiously as they travel.  On the otherside, one of the witches offers to clean her jacket and while she does so, Robyn and Jeff step outside to a fairy tale landscape.

Jeff: "Don't look at me.  I said it was a dump."

Robyn: "Jeff, it's beautiful."

Jeff: "Huh, yeah, well.  You wait until you used the toilets here.  Then we'll see."

Jeff's homeworld.

Her jacket mostly clean, they travel to a nearby village and seek lodgings.  Unable to walk further, Robyn sits down in the inn.  An elf approaches her and she lets him work a magic spell on her leg which heals it.  He introduces himself as Aldric of the Blue Glenn.  Jeff is cold towards him, when Robyn protests, Jeff says elves can't be trusted.

The innkeeper shows them to his five star buffet which includes unicorn and stuffed cherubs.  This induces more vomiting from Robyn, who had eaten some unknowingly.  They travel to his aunt and Jeff tells her how she and his deceased uncle took him and his twin sister in when they were young.

Robyn: "Jeez.  That must have been tough.  Your parents dying?"

Jeff: "Yeah it was.  Thinking about it, I probably shouldn't have killed them."

At his adoptive aunts home, she is a dwarf by the way, he is greeted warmly.  One of the dwarfs present calls him "dragonslayer".  His equally blue and large twin sister Rexa is also there.  Jeff introduces Robyn as his wife much to her annoyance.  After and awkward dinner Jeff tries to talk to her about it on the way back to the inn, but she freezes him out and goes off to bed.

Rexa.

The next day Jeff and Robyn attend the funeral.  Robyn walks away and Jeff follows her.  He tried to explain and she responds by pushing him into a muddy pond.  He finally blurts out that he lied so "I don't have to marry my sister."  He then settles down and tells her his backstory.  His mother was an adventurer, seven feet tall, strength potion and so on.  But she came a cropper when she went after the monster that would become his father.

Jeff: "He ate Firefleet her horse.  Snapped Elfang her enchanted sword.  Raped her."

Oh Alan! Anyway he took her home and kept her prisoner.  She survived the pregnancy but not giving birth to twins.  He kept the kids although they had to fend for themselves and he beat them every night.  When Rexa became thirteen he started messing with her.  So one day, Jeff and Rexa got a tree trunk, sharpened it, and staked their father to the ground then set him on fire.  Once he was finally dead they wandered until Mack and Minka took them in.  He also admits about him and his sister:

Jeff: "We've been intimate.  Since we were kids.  That's like normal here.  You see why I'm embarrassed about this place."

Jeff and Rexa's father.

They return to the funeral,  Afterwards they are having an outdoor meal.  Some autograph hunters come up to Jeff to get his signature.  They ask if he still bears "the maiden's mark" and if he's back to settle the score with "Morningbright."  In response Jeff punches the dwarf into the ground and stalks off.

After some prodding from Robyn, Jeff tells her more of his story.  To help support his adoptive aunt and uncle he got a job as a dragonslayer.  It paid well, including thirty per cent of the creatures hoard.  He was successful at it and one day was hired to kill a beast called Morningbright and rescue the princess it had captured called Naruli.

He found Naruli in Morningbright's cave system, but before he could get her to safety Morningbright appeared and gave him the following message:

Morningbright: "Heed Earthly Lass. Lest Our Rustic Orb Becomes Your Nemesis."

Then Morningbright blasted him and Naruli with fire and Naruli palm print was burned into Jeff's skin as she was consumed by the blaze.  Sadly Jeff packed up, and left for the alternate Top Ten earth and that's him up to date.  Robyn is curious about the message Morningbright gave him and suddenly realises it's an acrostic that reads "Hello Robyn".

Morningbright.

Sometime later, Robyn is trying to convince Jeff that he needs to confront Morningbright for "closure".  But Jeff resists, "no quests!".  They start preparing to leave, while they do Jeff tells Robyn about all the paperwork involved with questing.  "Yeah and omens and visions and like that."  A rather obvious sign then appears in front of them.

Jeff says it's just atmospheric pressure.  Then it rains frogs.  Minka his adoptive aunt tells him of several more omens that have happened.  Jeff says he must get his wife home, but Minka says everyone knows she not his wife.  After going for a sulk, Jeff gives in and he and Robyn travel to the city to register the quest.

They reach the department of quests which has a long que.  Finally they get to see someone who turns out to be Death.

Lionel Death: "Well I'm only A Death, obviously.  But I'm the one who handles chess games against wily peasants.  My name is Lionel, nice to meet you."

He admits to being very bad at chess, which is why he's doing office work right now.  The "real, awesome Death" is called Dennis.  Anyway he needs proof of Morningbright's wickedness, so Jeff shows him the handprint burned onto his chest.

Jeff: "Just give me all the protocols and quotas you're going to hit me with."

The Maiden's Mark.

The law says he needs a magic user.  Robyn volunteers for that role on the basis of her toys she controls.  He needs three dwarves, so they take his brother and his friends.  He needs an elf, so they take Aldric, and finally another female.  Jeff doesn't want to take Rexa, but she convinces him they can keep their hands off each other for the duration of the quest at least.  After preparing, they all mount up on their horses and set out.

Later, Robyn and Aldric are sat round the campfire.  He starts sweet talking her and they end up kissing and spending the night together.  Left alone outside, a very sexually frustated Jeff says "aah balls."  The next day Robyn is collecting firewood and Jeff says his razor shapr insticts should lead them to Morningbright soon.  The final page of the chapter however shows they have been camping in a giant footprint.

Evidence of Morningbright is everywhere.

Next morning they see a lot of refugees fleeing Morningbright.  Robyn tells Jeff to admit they are in Morningbright's territory as they contemplate the blasted landscape.  Jeff reluctantly agrees.  Robin asks how big Morningbright is.  Jeff says he was about the size of a cat before.  They bump into a wizard dragging a traumatised child behind him.  Apparently he had taken a class to the area to study dragons for a theory exam.

Wizard: "Admittedly that theory was that dragons are nice and talk in a warm, Scottish brogue."

The wizard then departs sying he has performance targets to meet.  The gang then ride for hours looking for the cave system Morningbright lives in.  Finally they find some caves with a huge carpet of child skulls leading into it.

Jeff says he must go in alone, but Robyn, Rexa and Aldric insist on going with him.  Inside Rexa and Robyn discuss Jeff's feelings for Rexa, while Jeff tells Aldric if he hurts Robyn he'll eat his head.  Their lamp goes out, and when they light another one, they realise the cave is carpeted with a pattern of Morningbrights which become 3D and start swarming them.

Many mini Morningbrights.

Robyn gets out her toys, but they don't work.  Jeff says it's because there is no electricity in this world.  They all flee back outside chased by hundreds of small Morningbrights. They flock upwards into the sky and form one big Morningbright face.

Morningbright: "Death is close now.  That final darkness just a few paces into the future.  Farewell for now little ones.  No matter how far you run, you'll be back and I'll be waiting."

The Morningbrights then fly back into the caves.  Jeff says he is going back alone this time.  And walks off into the caves.  Robyn starts thinking of her own plan to kill Morningbright, "we're going to need wood and metal".  Jeff enters the cave with just his talking sword, which sings "Dancing Queen" to him to give him succour.

Outside Rexa gathers wood and blasts a hole in the ground so the dwarves can get the iron.  Robyn tells them to build "a sort of raft with wheels".  Then goes to recover from getting caught in the blast shockwave.  She hears Death come up behind her saying he is a "great and terrible Death".  But Robyn turns and says "are you Dennis?" to him.

Dennis Death.

Dennis is annoyed she knows his name, She say's Lionel told her.  Dennis says, "is he the one who's always losing to peasants at badminton?".  Chess, she corrects him.  Dennis says nevermind, he is there because "tonight a legend dies".  But doesn't say if it's Morningbright or Jeff.

Inside the dragons caves Jeff chances upon a floating, glowing sphere made up of the souls of all the children Morningbright had killed.  Naruli is one of them, who tells Jeff he must kill Morningbright. "I.. I don't know if I can" says Jeff.  Morningbright then appears and buries Jeff alive.

Outside Robyn has (somehow) come to the conclusion that Morningbright is powered by nuclear fusion.  She then etlls the dwarves to turn the iron into one big nail.  Back underground Jeff reappears and atacks Morningbright, who then angrily chases Jeff outside.  There Robyn and the others have mounted the nail upon the wheeled platform.  Then Jeff comes running out chased by Morningbright. 

Morningbright asplodes.

Robyn says Morningbright will be neutralised by the iron as it can't be used in nuclear fusion,  Look it's Alan Moore science, just go with it.  They roll the mounted nail into Morningbright and it is successful, Dennis reaps him and Morningbright explodes.  The soul of Naruli then appears in front of Jeff, thanks him and removes the handprint from his chest, as the rest of the childrens souls ascend.

The gang then return to Jeff's aunt, who he surprises in the middle of some BDSM.  Aldric asks Robyn to marry him, oh and he'll need papers to come to her world.  Robyn frowns and realises she's been used and kicks him in the groin.  Jeff and Rexa are sad they have to leave each other.  Robyn says why doesn't Rexa come with them, no one back in Top Ten will know they are related.

So Rexa comes to their world and will move in with Jeff, who is incredibly happy by this turn of events.  Robyn hands him a gift then leaves them to settle in.  It's a set of His N'Hers bath towels.  And so this miniseries ends with Jeff and Rexa happy together in their incestous relationship.  Well at... at least it's not rape.

Happily Ever After...?

SMAX is a lot of fun.  If I had one criticism is that for a fantasy based story, the layouts for the artwork are somewhat dull, adhering to the nine-panel grid for the most part.  Which is odd because Zander Cannon's layouts for Top Ten were dynamic and interesting.  Alan Moore keeps the tone light, and pokes gentle fun at the tropes of sword and sorcery.  And it wouldn't be an Alan Moore story without an unconventional sexual relationship somewhere.  Robyn also remains a strong heroine, using her brains to defeat Morningbright over Jeff's brawn, even if the science is nonsense and her guess about Morningbright being nuclear powered seems to come out of nowhere.  But I carp needlessly.  It's a fun little book which only makes me yearn for more stories involving Top Ten, alas there is only a prequel left (which I shall look at later in the year).  If Alan Moore ever decided to go back to one of his old series, well Halo Jones would be my first choice, but Top Ten would come a very close second.

Alan Moore Obscurities: Top Ten: Book 2 (#8-12)

"Do not weep.  Being is enough. There, that is all. I am done..." - Kapela

Let's talk about artists for a moment.  One of the reasons Alan Moore's time at pre-ABC Image and Awesome comics is so unsatisfying is not just because you can tell his heart wasn't in much of what he was writing, but also due to the poor quality of the artists he was paired with.  The only one he can have been at all happy with was fellow Swamp Thing collaborator Rick Vietch's work on the flashback sequences in Moore's Supreme run, which still suffered from the problem of too many poor quality artists on the modern day sequences.  Voodoo, his most dire work by far was a four issue miniseries with seven artists working on it, all at odds with each other.  Now even the best artist in the world couldn't have made Voodoo a classic, but it might have taken some of the edge off the worst aspects of the script.  But the Image years were something of a blip and Alan Moore generally has been very lucky to have artists who are perfect for the material he writes and both make each other sing.  It would have taken a dreadful artist to ruin Watchmen, but it's testement to Dave Gibbon's talent that over twenty-five years later, while I know the script off by heart I can still spot some new nuance in the artwork I had missed up until then. Ian Gibson on The Ballad Of Halo Jones, Steve Bissette and John Totleben on Swamp Thing, Dave Lloyd on V for Vendetta, Mick Gray and JH Williams III on Promethea, Eddie Campbell on From Hell, all created definitive visions of Moore scripts, and I'm adding Top Ten artists Zander Cannon and Gene Ha to that list, for managing to balance the crazy and colourful world of a city full of superheroes with a down-at-the-heel streetview of the day-to-day life of a cop.

The first issue begins with Peregrine getting up and ready for work.  She flies up to the part of the sky used for flying vehicles.  She's been called to a "Jump Bump" where two sets of teleporting travellers crash into each other and materialise is the same spot.   One of the victims is a huge, armoured horse headed alien called Kapela, a "white cavalry piece" in some mysterious game being played across the network. The other is a couple, their spaceship fused inside Kapela, the woman is dead, the man also fused in Kapela is alive, but cannot be freed. All they can do is wait for them both to die.  This is actually a shout out to a famous Homicide:  Life On The Street episode, where a man gets trapped between a train and the platform, which virtually severs him, only keeping the train in place is keeping him alive, but nothing can be done for him except the cops being with him as he slowly dies.

The aftermath of the Jump Bump. Note Astro Boy flying past on the top lefthand side!

Back at the Top Ten precinct, the Captain is being harrassed by the friends of Libra, or M'rralga Qualtz as she is really known as, who want her freed.  They are a superteam called The Sentinels she was once part of.  The Lieutenant is resisting this as she is in fact a serial killer.  They all go to see her and Libra tries to telepathically persaude Jackie to free her but just makes Jackie mad.   Meanwhile Corbeau is getting ready to visit the desination of the Trans World ticket found during the Graczik-Gromolko case investigation, hoping to find out more about the buyer of the strange radioactive drug they found.

At the crash site Peregrine questions the dying man, who is called Mr. Nebula.  He saw a human figure in the beam before the accident as did Kapela. A station worker who was knocked unconcious by the debris from th explosion comes round and they question him too. At the precinct, the Lieutenant notifies Grand Central that Corbeau will be visiting.  Central tell him that next wednesday there will be an inspection of Top Ten.  Back at the crash site the cops figure out the station worker is actually a 'porter, or a teleporter who makes unlicensed jumps across beams and who caused the accident and they arrest him.

Peregrine elects to stay with Kapela and Mr.Nebula until they pass on.  Later that night as numbness starts to claim Mr.Nebula, conversation turns to the life and death, with Kapela talking about it in the philosophy behind the mysterious game he is part of.

Kapela: "Just look above you.  Do you see? That is called the immense board of lights.. And that is the great black. And strewn across it, small and vulnerable and brave, that is the great white."

Mr. Nebula: "...And the great white, I mean there is so much more black.  A-are we losing?"

Kapela: "No.  Once there was only black. We are winning. All is right.  We can go."

And Mr. Nebula, then Kapela die.  The final page of this very emotive issue is Peregrine in silent prayer for them both. And you may call me a massive fucking pussy, but I tear up at the end of this issue Every. Damn. Time.  *sniffle*

A prayer for the deceased

The next issue gets off to a more light-hearted start as Cowboy Duane and his partner Pete go to check on the Ultramice problem in his Mum's flat.  The exterminator says there have been "problems".  A vexed Duane just wants his Mum out of his hair.

Exterminator: "Get enought science animals together, it's a big event.  Next thing it escalates, you get a whole Secret Crisis Wars crossover thing going on.  Inevitably cosmic powers get involved. You know how it is."

Oh Alan Moore, I love you.  Having a Crisis Crossover parody with cats and mice going on in a manky flat as a very minor subplot is just glorious.  Anyway, Duane and Pete leave, Duane bemoans the lack of sex life he has with his Mum staying with him.

Pete:  "Hey come on.  It's all gonna be over soon."

Duane: "Pete, you heard what he said.  Pretty soon we could have parallel world critters involved and mice from different time periods and stuff.  I am screwed buddy."

I could look at this page all day.  It's a parody of the Galactus Fantastic Four story, with lots of little mouse parody superheroes added in.  I especially like Wonder Woman mouse in the top right corner!

Back at the precinct the Captain is talking with Libra.  She believes she is soon to be killed, maybe by one of her friends.  He asks her if she is trying to humiliate him.  Libra says she could easily do that by telling everyone he is gay.

Corbeau has arrived at Grand Central, one of the many worlds where the Roman Empire never fell.  Corbeau is rather insultingly referred to as a "nubian" and it seems good old racism is alive and well on this world.  His welcome is not what he expected as he is shanghied into competing in a gladitorial game.  Being a cerified badass he wins a place in the final  Meanwhile, as this chapter comes to an end, as Irma-Geddon is waved off to work another portent of coming disaster is given by her precog husband, who suddenly senses something terrible will happen to her.

Corbeau in action.

Next issue sees the return of Robyn and Smax investigating the shooting death of a man in a night club.  Smax also mentions that today sees the inspection of the precinct by the Commissioner. Later at roll call, Jackson says she is worried they haven't heard back from Corbeau since he left for Grand Central.  Afterwards the Commissioner appears outside in a burst of purple light.

Commissioner: "I want to see how one of our smaller, more remote precincts works, in all it's grimy detail."

Captain Trayor shows her round, and she rudely refuses to shake hands or speak to Sally-Jo who is black.  She is more interested in seeing the forensic department.  Traynor says it's locked up at the moment due to the radiative drug inside.  Commander Bailey has the keys and he is in the canteen so they go down there.

In the canteen the synathestic cop Jackson suddenly hears The Ode To Joy, the music she heard during the Graczik investigation.  She realises she was hearing smell of the Commissioners perfume, and that the Commissioner was Graczik's off-world buyer. The Commissioner fires a huge energy blast at Jackson, but Li knocks her out of the way and takes the full force, killing her almost instantly.  Now it's out in the open that she is a villain the cops spring into action.

Smax: "Captain Traynor, sir? All due respect, sir.  Permission to use extreme force"

Traynor: "Break her ****ing neck, son"

Smax is such a badass.

Smax is able to resist her blasts, as he reads her out her rights she screams "just give me the Christ-damned Xenite!"  She knocks him over with a massive blast, so he gets up and blasts her back.  In the chaos walls are broken and Libra's cell gets smashed.  Libra panics and ends up getting killed. Smax and the Commissioner continue to fight but the Commissioner has the upper hand as Smax begins to tire.  Robyn has an idea, why not give her the Xenite?  So they do, all of it in one massive dose which knocks her out (interestingly this was the exact same way Ladytron gets taken down in Moore's run on WildC.A.T.s although the drug then was heroin).  Before she passes out she lets out one huge blast, knocking down a wall on top of Robyn, which sends Smax into a griefstricken rage.  She isn't dead though, trapped under the wreckage a strange transparent man called "The Rumor" addresses her.

Sadly this mysterious being is never referred to again.  Possibly he was a plot thread to be picked up in the next "season" of stories...

The next issue shows the precinct being rebuilt and the introduction of Joe PI, the robot replacement for Li.   Something I haven't touched upon yet in these recaps is the undercurrent of prejudice suffered by robots in the Top Ten world.  They are known as "clickers", which is roughly analogous to using the word nigger in our world.  So he gets a frosty welcome from Irma, who was Li's and now Joe's partner.  At roll call Kemlo tells everyone the Commissioner is being replaced and investigated and that Corbeau has been released and also that he won the gladitorial contest off-screen.  He also has a letter for a "Jaafe Macksun" who turns out to be Smax.

The next case, the murder of a Bubblegum boy mainly functions to show off what Joe PI can do.He is thoughtful and gentle with the victims partner (and it's heavily implied this is the couple who were having a domestic in the first issue and the wife finally killed her husband), and despite Pete prejucided remarks, Irma is impressed with him.  Jackson and Corbeau's family greet him at the Trans World station, he has a spiffy trophy from winning the tournament.  Jackson wonders why Corbeau's family walk so far behind him as they leave, he says it is traditional.

Joe PI's first case at Top Ten.

Smax visits Robyn in hospital, she was lucky to escape having a wall fall on her with bruises and a broken leg. Smax tells him his uncle Mack who bought him up has died - this is setting up the Smax miniseries that spun off from Top Ten. At the Top Ten precinct Captain Traynor is impressed by Joe PI's interview technique.  "Yeah he's real efficient" snaps Irma.

In the hall, Pete is mouthing off anti-robot prejudice while trying to get a candy bar out of a vending machine.  Joe appears and comments that is more common for humans to be aroused by robots than vice versa.  Pete is skeptical as he stands with his hand in the vending machine.

Joe PI: "Well with respect, I should point out that you're the one feeling up my retarded, hill-billy cousin Emmy Sue in public."

Pete: "WHAT?!" (jumps back in horror)

Joe PI: "Emmy Sue it breaks my heart to see you lowering yourself to this.  Cover yourself up girl and we'll say no more about it"

This makes Duane and Jackson helpless with laughter while Pete grouches that he needs to go wash his hand now.  Later they all attend Li's funeral, except for Joe PI.  Irma meets him outside the cemetary and accuses him of not respecting Li.  Joe says he actually didn't want Irma to accuse him of feigning emotion.  This makes Irma warm to him more and she takes him home with her, breaking down about Li in his arms when they get there.

An amusing nod to the tendency for superheroes to come back from the dead as well as riffing on the old cliche that only cops attend cop funerals.

The issue ends with Smax at Robyn's house where he has been looking after he elderly father.  He tells Smax to stop ordering him about and doesn't he have a father of his own.  Smax looks stricken, then mutters "Guess not".  The issue ends with him sitting outside looking thoughtful.

The final issue (Nooo!) begins with Jackie and Peregine watching the show reels M'rralga Qualtz handed over during the Libra investigation.   She was part of a superhero team called the Sentinels, and these were records of their "space war" battles, but something seems fake about them.  Then one reel turns out to be a porno and it really demonstrates were the Sentinels were about.

Sentinals propaganda.

Meanwhile, Duane's Mum is refusing to pay the exterminator for the removal of the Ultramice, apparently the event changed time and continuity and now only the exterminator remembers.  He gets enraged as he talks about getting paid, and Pete shocks him unconcious and he and Duane take the poor guy to the precinct under arrest.  Joe PI goes to pick up Irma and proves a big hit with her husband and kids.

Irma: "Hey, you know you AI's are almost too cute. How do I unplug you when you take over the world.

Joe PI: "Ask me the purpose of existence and I explode.  Come on, let's go to work.

At roll call the Captain tells them they have linked the shooting death in the nightclub to the Libra case.   The victim was affiliated with the Sentinels as part of a team called the Young Sentinels and he was planning on selling his story to the public.  Seems the Sentinels faked all their heroic off-world deeds and are in fact a paedophile ring, with the Young Sentinels as a grooming operation, the porno they saw proved it.   So it's time to take down the Sentinels.

They bust into the headquarters and arrest everyone on conspiracy to murder and statutory rape charges.  Duane and Pete go to the mansion of big hitter Lomax, who tries to attack Duane with his car.  Duane shoots it and it blows up with Lomax inside although Lomax is thrown clear by the blast and arrested.  Corbeau and Jackson go and collect the Young Sentinels to put them in protective custody. One of them telepathically warns Atoman and he locks himself in his bunker. Joe Pi and Irma are outside it and Smax turns up and tries to blast it open.  he fails.  So Joe Pi, over the intercom manages to convince Atoman that killing himself would be preferable to standing charges of paedophilia and Atoman vaporises himself. "Problem solved" comments Joe laconically.

Duane finally gets his badass moment.

At the hospital, Smax admits to Robyn that he would like it if she accompanied him back to his home world for the funeral of his uncle.  There are complications he doesn't elaborate on, but she agrees to do so anyway. The issue ends with Captain Traynor returning home to his older male partner.

Traynor: "I love you old man.  And that's enough right? Even in a city like this?"

And the book ends with the tantalising caption "End of Season One" implying more seasons that sadly never came.

So why was there no more Top Ten besides the spin-foff Smax and prequel, The 49ers?  I haven't found a definite reason online.  Speculation seems to suggest that it was an early casualty of Wildstorm selling itseif and the ABC imprint to DC who Moore absolutely hated by this point.  If you purchase these trade paperbacks now they are out under the Vertigo imprint rather than ABC.  It seems that Moore started to drop everything he wasn't passionately dedicated to, ie: everything bar Promethea and the League Of Extraodinary Gentlemen and Top Ten wasn't one he felt as much for.  Which is an awful shame, because of all his ABC work it's my hands down favourite.  Maybe I am biased because I love cop drama, but it is so choc full of incident, jokes, lovely character moments and drama that it rewards multiple rereadings like the very best of Moore.  There is also the rumour that despite it winning awards it was cancelled due to low sales, but the prescence of spin-offs would seem to preclude that.  Still, whatever the reason for it's demise, we have twelve issues here that deserve to be more well known and cherished and no one even got raped.  You CAN do it if you try Alan!

Alan Moore Obscurities: Top Ten: Book 1 (#1-7)

 "What did your last partner die of?  Drown in charm did they?" - Robyn

In the late 90's Alan Moore was working for Rob Leifeld's Awesome comics studio and was given the chance to revamp the whole line.  But before he got very far into it, Jim Lee, the owner of the Image imprint Wildstorm gave Alan an offer he couldn't refuse.  He could create a whole shared universe with characters of his own creation rather than working with already defined ones.  The studio was named ABC - America's Best Comics and the three main series that Moore came up with were Promethea, Tom Strong and Top Ten (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was also published under the ABC imprint, but was not part of the ABCverse, relying as it did on literature and pop culture from "our" universe). Of these three comics, Top Ten feels like the most overlooked.  Promethea is a stunning tour de force that was pretty much Moore's mission statement on life. Tom Strong was a love letter to the Silver Age that people were beginning to feel intense nostalgia for after the EXTREME 90's soured people on darker comic tales.  Top Ten though for my money is actually my favourite Moore work since Watchmen, predecated on one simple idea.  What would police work be like in a city where everyone, including the cops were superheroes?  The story manages to mix the gritty slice of life detective drama of Hill Street Blues and Homicide: Life On The Street with the bright and colourful world of the American superhero tropes.  Packed full of homages, jokes, clever references and just general all round awesomeness, these twelve issues, split across two trade paperbacks are gorgeously illustrated by Zander Cannon and Gene Ha and are something pretty special.

After a written, in universe description of a trip round Neopolis with a pair of cops, the comic begins. The first well-worn cop trope of the rookie police officer as our P.O.V character to all the weirdness that is due to unfold is put into action. Robyn, who doesn't have superpowers, but does have a set of mechanical toy helpers gets in a cab driven by a man with a blindfold on who uses his "zen senses" to get around the city. At the precinct she meets Jackie Kowalski, a lesbian who can phase shift, Duane, a cowboy with mechanical legs and Kemlo, a talking doberman in a robotic humanoid exo-skeleton.

Robyn and Smax

The Hill Street Blues style daily briefing takes place, where cases are updated and handed out. A serial killer called Libra is on the loose, killing prostitutes.  This provides one of the two on-going cases that thread through the series as a whole.  The next cop show trope to come into play is the teaming of the wide-eyed newbie and the gruff veteran, in this case Robyn with Jeff Smax.  He's a large blue man who is invulnerable and can fire an energy beam out of his chest.  His previous partner died, which adds extra layers of awkwardness to their relationship.

After breaking up a domestic dispute, Robyn and Smax are called to a murder scene.  Already there are Detectives Corbeau (a devil worshipper) and Jackson, a female detective who has synathesia and is reading the scene with her enhanced senses.  Robyn lets her toys comb the scene and finds some ID and a high tech saddle in the area.  Back at the precinct she has a chat in the canteen with Irma-Geddon, a woman with high tech armour and firepower and Li a woman who can make shifting patterns across her body.  They are called away by Kemlo who says they have traced the murder victim to a drug factory which they are now going to raid.

The factory raid

Robyn, Smax, Corbeau, Li, Irma and Jackson all gather at the factory and start the raid.  They meet armed resistence which they deal with and Robyn manages to disable a Professor Gromolko who was disposing of evidence in the cellar.  He lawyers up, so they take him back to the precinct for interrogation.  They bring in detective Glushko who is a telepath, but this makes Gromolko panic and before anyone can stop him, he grabs one of Duane's guns and blows his brains out.  The day comes to an end and Jackie invites Robyn out for a drink, but when Robyn realises Jackie is hitting on her she makes her excuses and leaves.  Back home she bids her senile father goodnight and so ends her eventful first day on the job.

Next day, Irma and Li are chatting in a car on the way to work when the Zen Cabbie crashes into them.  Back in the precinct Jackson is discussing the Gromolko case with Peregrine, a woman with wings who is also a devout Christian.  They are looking for the partner of the "saddle" man Stefan Graczik, a Marta "Boots" Wesson who was also a runner for Gromolko's drug operation.

Kemlo gives a briefing, Corbeau and Jackson are to handle the Gromolko case, Duane and Cheney are to keep an eye out for Libra and check the prostitutes are safe, and someone needs to go and help Irma and Li who have broken down in a bad part of town.  Smax and Robyn go to their aid.  An unruly gang has appeared and the leader is a drunken, green monster man who Smax stuns with his chest beam.  They take him and the Zen cabbie back to the precinct.

A drunken Grograh

Meanwhile, Duane and Cheney are called to what turns out to be a headless corpse of a hooker.  The signature of the Libra killer.  Cheney is upset because he recognises her as one he let off with a warning earlier when he found her about to service a man who could inflate himself. Back at the precinct, Robyn has had an idea about using the Zen Cabbie to help them out:

Cabbie: "Where'd you want to go?"

Jackson: "Well, you tell us, right? I mean 'where we end up is where we're meant to be'. Isn't that your line? Well, you take us where we're meant to be."

They make somewhat erratic progress through the streets and wind up at a derelict museum.  There they find Marta Wesson cowering in a corner and arrest her.

Nice boots Marta

At the precinct, the pathologist Sally-Jo, who can shrink down to a minute size, is exploring inside the dead, headless hooker who has been bought in.  Cause of death being fairly obvious. Jackie and Peregrine discuss the fact that this means Libra will strike twice more if he keeps to his pattern.

Marta Wesson is kicking up a fuss at the front desk, but she is subdued and taken into interrogation.  She says all they were doing were running supplies of 'goose juice (mongoose blood) and when she is told Gromolko killed himself she goes quiet and lawyers up.  Jackson is still pondering the Mozart music she heard round "saddles" Graczik's corpse.  Cheney and Duane go to collect Glushko, and their car is vandalised by gang members angry about Grograh's incarceration.  He's in lock-up currently being needled by Smax.  Robyn is concerned about gang violence escalating over this, but Smax doesn't care.

Smax: "If Duane and Pete want to treat him like he's some special, off-limits case, then fine.  To me, he's just the delinquent kid of a wino, has-been, fifties movie monster.  He screws up on my turf, he goes down.  End of story."

Jackie, Peregrine and Cheney

Meanwhile Cheney is confessing he met the hooker to Peregrine and Jackie, who are quite angry with him.  They look up the man she was found with and go round his house to question him.  He turns out to be married and has a panic attack and starts inflating uncontrollably, trapping Peregrine in the doorway to the house.  While this is going on, Marta Wesson's lawyer has got an affidavit to prevent mind reading.  Then suddenly there is a loud rumble from outside.  A huge Godzilla like creature has appeared outside the precinct.  It's Grograh's dad and he wants his boy back.

While everyone rushes outside, a woman comes into the precinct, gives Kemlo her severed finger and faints in his arms.  Outside, the drunken monster Gograh throws up radioactive puke all over the street.  The Captain takes charge, ordering cleanup and building evacuation.  He then starts reasoning with the monster until Smax comes out and starts baiting Gograh.  The pathologist, Sally-Jo arrives and uses her shrinking technology to shrink Gograh down to a size small enough to fit in the Capatains palm.  Then Sally-Jo goes to check on the fainted woman, noting the cleaness of the cut.

Grograh's dad comes to call

In interrogation, Corbeau and Jackson manage to get Marta to tell them Graczik was delivering something special.  But he decided they could make more money dealing it on their own and ripped Gromolko off.  They went into hiding at the museum.  So Corbeau, Jackson and Glushko go to investigate.  Robyn and Snax are sent to raid a club that had been supplied goose juice, and Jackie and Pergrine arrive with the inflatable man to question him over the hooker's death.

At the museum, Jackon hears music, but not Mozart, instead The Ode To Joy.  They discover Marta and Graczik's squat and the mysterious substance they were going to deal.  It's in a cylinder and turns out to be dangerously radioactive so they can't take it away just yet they need someone immune to radiation to collect it.

Corbeau, Jackson and Glushko find the mystery substance

At the precinct Ernesto Grograh and his still tiny dad are released. In autopsy the woman is introduced as Annette Duvalle.  She saw Libra and it wasn't human:

Annette: "I saw what I saw.  It came out of the drain, and it was like purple candyfloss".

So Kemlo, Annette, Duane, Cheney and Jackie go to where she was attacked and find a drainage hole open.  They are also fed the news that the bio-traces are extra terrerestrial in origin.

As Duane and Jackie descend into the hole, Duane gets a call from his Mum about a hole in her flat. Back at the precinct, Smax and Robyn are sent to collect the radioactive substance.  Lieutenant Peregrine is being told more about the alien.  It takes heads because it requires the pineal gland.  It's lifecycle meant that it's kills fell in a pattern, but otherwise it was a coincidence they all fell under the period of the sign of Libra.

In the sewers, Duane and Jackie joke around, then suddenly Duane yells at Jackie to phase.  They are faced with a huge alien, with thrashing, razor sharp monofilaments. Pete Cheney arrivesa and usesa his electrical powers to force it into a retreat.  They call for back-up, but everyone is busy.  Jackson says there has been a break in the Graczik-Gromolko casae, a transworld ticket was found along side the radioactive susbstance.  So Duane, Cheney and Jackson carry on chasing Libra themselves.

Jackie and Duane discover Libra

It bursts out of the ground where Kemlo and Annette are, slicing off Kemlo's ear and into his exoskeleton. Pete manages to run a charge through it powerful enough to knock it out.  A special wagon arrives to take it away and the cops go for coffee to recover.  Later Duane goes to visit his Mum and finds her flat has been invaded by Ultramice.

It's snowing in Neopolis and Smax is having a strange dream in which he meets dead people like his previous partner, and also Robyn appears which concerns him slightly.  He wakes up and goes to open the closet, inside is something speaking in rhyme but we don't find out what that is all about until the spin-off miniseries Smax. He collects Robyn, having warmed to her somewhat and they arrive at the station to find out Libra has been captured.  They go take a look, she is inside a glass cylinder being watched over by Kemlo, who is out of his exoskeleton while it gets repaired. 

Ultramice!

A disturbance is reported and Irma and Li are sent to check it out.  It turns out to be Santa, surrounded by a horde of kids, deciding who are naughty and nice.  He declares the officers naughty and dumps them in a pile of snow with his psychokinetic power.  Jackson sends a griping Smax out to give them some back-up.  Meanwhile, Duane has called an exterminator to deal with the Ultramice problem and reluctantly allows his Mum to come stay with him while the problem is dealt with.  The pest controller sends in Ultracats to deal with them and a war begins.

Back with Santa, he zaps Smax high into the air, resisting all attempts to deal with him.  Then Harry arrives from the precinct.  He is a hostage negociator who's power is that his voice must be obeyed.   This allows them to arrest Santa successfully.  Robyn and Smax head back, while Smax haltingly tells her about his dream and how he thinks he needs to be nicer to people before it's too late.  Then they are waylaid by the Norse Goddess Freya, who is distraught.  At a party in the Godz bar, someone has murdered her son.  Robyn and Smax arrive on the scene:

Smax: "Okay, Okay, we're police officers. Nobody move in a mysterious way."

Oh very good Alan. Very good.  I shall use that at the club next time I'm there.  People will be slapping my back for weeks.

At the precinct, Libra is using her telepathic power to try and get her guard to free her.  Jackosn stops the man, Hector and tells him that Libra used to be a porn star and is really called M'rrlga Qualtz.  Corbeau tells Jackson they finished testing the isotope, it's more of a compressed powder, designed to be dissolved and injected like a drug.  It's also not on their periodic table.

Trouble at the Godz bar

Jackson is called to the incident at the Godz bar.  The victim is Balder and the whole scenario is an excuse for Moore to riff comedically on Norse myth tropes.  The pathologist finds misletoe inside Balder's chest wound.  Apparently everyone was throwing things at Balder, because nothing could harm him except misletoe.  Turns out the blind God Hod threw it. Smax finds him hiding in the toilets. He says he was given the misletoe by Lokk.  Jackson asks Lokk if this is true.

Lokk: "I mean there's Balder, he's all 'look at me, I'm lovely, everything loves me'.  I mean I'm the God of Evil, what am I gonna do?"

Back at the precinct, the Captain tells Corbeau he should book a ticket to Grand Central to follow up the Graczik-Gromolko case. Then a group of heroes arrive demanding to see M'rrlga Qualtz asa she used to be a member of their supergroup.  They refuse to believe she is a killer, and when the Captain takes them to see her, she has changed into a pretty green humanoid woman.

Back at Godz, Corbeau is having a good laugh, pointing out the death of Balder is a cyclical thing.  To prove him right, Balder suddenly comes back to life to the cheers of the rest of the Gods who decide they'll celebrate by playing the "throw things at Balder" game.  Jackson declares the whole thing a waste of time and all the cops there go for coffee.  Thus ends book one.

I've really only skimmed the surface here, there are plenty of small side cases going on per issue asa well as the two on-going ones I chose to concentrate on.  There is so much character stuff crammed into the book and such a wonderful cast of characters that it really works as a mixture of gritty cop drama and superhero nonsense.  And what a great selection of female characters as well.  Quick thinking Robyn, matronly Irma, sultry Li, uber professional Jackson, gentle Peregrine, caring Sally-Jo, wise-cracking Jackie; it really goes to show Moore hasn't lost his touch when writing believable and very different female voices. It's a very talky book, but not at the expense of action, helping to flesh out the world of Neopolis through a combination of Moore's naturalistic dialogue and Cannon and Ha's exquisitely detailed artwork. It really is a shame there is only five more issues to go.