War Stories Book 1 (#1-4)

"I think soldiers're always gonna be judged by folk don't know what they're talking about, sir. But it doesn't make a picka difference, we've a job to do an' that's all there is to it" - Sergeant Major Dunn [D-Day Dodgers]

Something a little different from Garth Ennis this month, the first volume in his 2001-2003 series of eight one-shots, War Stories.  One thing that has always impressed me about his writing is his level of research into armed conflict tackling everything from "The Troubles" in Northern Ireland, to The Vietnam War and Iraq and here we have four stories set during the war he is most schooled in, World War 2.  Teaming up with some fantastic artistic talent, including Dave Gibbons and David Lloyd we get some haunting tales, two set amongst the British military, "D-Day Dodgers" taking place during the Italian campaign and "Nightingale" about the war at sea. One involving a renegade German tank crew, "Johann's Tiger" and one involving the remnants of a US company who have been gradually whittled away since they landed at Normandy - "Screaming Eagles". Ennis grew up avidly consuming British war comics and his deep interest in the Second World War especially goes someway to explaining why his ersatz Captain America suffered to many indignities during his series, "The Boys".  He said of Captain America that he found him "borderline offensive, because to me the reality of World War II was very human people, ordinary flesh-and-blood guys who slogged it out in miserable, flooded foxholes. So adding some fantasy superhero narrative, that has always annoyed me a little bit."  Well there are no superheroes on display here, just ordinary soldiers trying to survive best they can in stories told with passion and care and of course meticulous attention to detail.

JOHANN'S TIGER - The premise of this first story pencilled by Chris Weston and inked by Gary Erskine is that a Nazi officer Johann Kleist and his four German "orphan" soldiers, Fat Bob, Dolfo, Seigbert and Nicolas have gone AWOL in their tank "Max" the story's titular Tiger.  Johann is exhausted and no longer believes Germany can win the war nor does he believe it deserves to.  They are secretly travelling westwards back through Russia to find some American soldiers to safely surrender to knowing the Russians aren't going to look to kindly upon them.  Although Johann does not think he deserves to survive the war and once his charges are safe he intends to go out in a suicidal attack.

Johann contemplates "Max"

As the team take a break, eating cold rat and erstaz coffee, Johann thinks, "I would die for them."  He contemplates Big Max, "we have been together through two long years and Max has eaten well."  Two days ago they were in a tank battle with the "Ivan" (the Russians) which they and Max came out of alive.  Back in the present Johann notes how the Russians would send ten for every one of them killed.  "But we deserve it all.  We asked for it." So now they are on the run, although by rights they should be dead or prisoners of the Russians by now.

Johann: "I am their commander and I have been entrusted with their welfare.  We are comrades; we have saved each other a thousand times.  And I woud go to hell to stand and fight beside these men.  And they are mine."

He thinks about how he will deliver them safely to the Americans, but he is a "different story."  He remembers how he ordered the burning to the ground of whole villages, and the deaths of women and children there.  He recalls murdering P.O.W's, but then how "I woke up and realised my life was an atrocity."

Johann's guilt.

The guilt now stalks him and he believes the war can have him in the place of his orphans.  "The thought of it is bliss to me."  They arrive in a deserted village and hide Max in a barn.  Nicolas asks Johann if he remembers the crazy man in Stalingrad who said with glee at them that Berlin would suffer the same fate, before Johann shot him.

Then checking around further they find three German soldiers strung up in a tree, the work of "Fepos", the Field Police who "maintain the cohesion of the front by any means neccesary".  They were probably stragglers or deserters like us thinks Johann as he sits alone and contemplates events.

Then he hears an engine rev and he runs back into the village to find his four men with nooses round their necks about to be hanged when the truck they are on the back of drives off.  The Fepos have them.  An enraged Johann mows down the Fepos with a machine gun and they decide things are getting too "lively" around here and they take Max and leave.

Johann rescues his men from the Fepos.

Soon though they run into a column of Russian tanks and although they fight valiantly they are soon surrounded. Suddenly Dolfo grabs Johann and throws him clear.

Dolfo: "Not you, herr Oberstleutant.  We decided not you."

Johann hits the ground and ends up out cold.  When he revives, the Russians are gone and the burnt remains of his men have been laid out on the ground.  He staggers away and loses track of time, looking for anyone he can get to kill him.  He finally sees some Allied soldiers, Americans and pulls his gun.  He charges them but exhaustion makes him trip and fall at their feet.  One of them offers him a cigarette.  Sadly Johann reflects that his boys thought they were saving him, but they have "damned him to endless torment."

Johann: "And with poison churning in my belly.  With horror in my heart.  I face the future.  Every single day, I live with it."

The cruelty of mercy.

And that brings the story to an end.  It is a powerful reminder that the bonds of brotherhood and loyalty didn't just exist on the side of the "good guys" and that not every Nazi was evil beyond redemption. Johann facing the punishment of mercy is an ironic end to the tale when mercy was something he didn't show himself. 

D-DAY DODGERS -  Drawn by John Higgins, the setting for this tale is the Italian campaign.  A motly bunch of various nationalities make up the British led forces as they push the fascists back up and up the country.  The name of the story comes from a statement made by Lady Astor that implied those involved in the battle for Italy had it easy compared to those fighting from D-Day onwards in France and Germany.  A satirical song was composed by an unknown soldier because of this and closes out this story in devastating style.

Captain Lovatt.

It's september 1944.  A young Second Lieutenant called Ross arrives at the Italian front.  He finds their commander, a gruff man called Captain Lovatt in a ruined church taking potshots at the altar.  Ross introduces himself and Lovatt asks where he went to school.  "Harrow" says Ross, he was to go to Oxford but the war got in the way.  Lovatt says that in 1933 the Oxford union passed a motion that they wouldn't support a war for King and COuntry.

Lovatt: "That the sort of sneering, peacenik bollocks you got in for Ross?"

Ross protests he'd have been eight then.  Lovatt then asks if he is comfortable with the idea of command.  Ross says it makes him feel awkward and silly.  Lovatt says he should see how he feels after spending years sending men to their deaths.  Then he sends Ross away.

Ross joins the rest of the men, they aren't going to be in reserve much longer they are returning to the line the next day.  Ross asks Sergeant major Dunn about Lovatt, Dunn says he's the finest officer he has ever served under.

Later at night Lovatt decides to send out a patrol to see if the can "scare up a prisoner." Dunn is to lead, Ross is to go with him and learn.  The patrol sneaks out and they come across a nest of Nazis.  There is a short and bloody scuffle which the patrol wins and they keep one of the Nazis alive as ordered.  As they get ready to return, another German pops up and Ross shoots him on instinct, his first kill.

Ross's first kill.

They return and hand the German over to intelligence.  Later there is a meeting where the Colonel in charge shows them the battle plans they will be part of.  It will be a daylight attack so their air support can see who they are bombing.  He also decides to promote Captain Lovatt.  The meeting breaks up and Lovatt tells Ross this attack is taking place to placate the press back home, and make a substantial advance before Italy becomes a mudslide, "which means no advance, which means no progress, which means no headlines."

Because the Italian campaign is such a slog it "doesn't exactly make for riveting reading". They don't have enough support to properly mount the planned offensive which is being mounted to convince the powers that be to give them more resources.  "Can you spot the fatal error in all this, or am I going to fast for you?" says Lovatt to Ross.

Later that day news of Lady Astor's comments have reached the men.  Ross is told that some of them are feeling resentful towards him because he has the same background as Astor.  But "sure we're all dodging D-Day together."  Ross wonders if Lovatt has heard the comments.  "That stupid fucking BITCH!!" roars Lovatt as if on cue. That night Ross finds Lovatt drinking in another ruined church.

Lovatt: "How can I ask those men to follow me to war, when some silly bitch back home says things like that?"

Lovatt on those who would judge him.

He says for the people back home if they do too well they are butchers, if they mess up they are cowards.  As he gets drunker he rails against Jesus on the cross saying he doesn't want to face the nightmare, "so I don't have to lead those poor uncomplaining bastards into battle."

Lovatt: "But he just sits up there and watches and judges"

Ross: "I think that's sort of the point sir."

Lovatt and Ross stagger away from the church, Lovatt saying, "I bloody well knew you were in there somewhere".

And they all fall in battle...

Next day they get ready for the advance.  Ross forgot to draw himself a machine gun and Lovatt says he can't go into battle with just a revolver and forces his machine gun on Ross saying "it doesn't matter."  Ross realises Lovatt knows they are all going to die.  The advance begins and the story closes out with images of all the men dead or dying as the Ballad Of The D-Day Dodgers is captioned underneath.

The story ends with a note that over one hundred thousand Allied troops died in Italy and that Lady Astor denied ever making the comments.  Thus ends another wrenching tale of a neglected part of World War 2 and the heroism of the soldiers just doing what needed to be done in the face of dismissive attitudes by the people they are fighting for.

...every one of them.

SCREAMING EAGLES -  Drawn by Dave Gibbons, this takes a look at a fictious company of US soldiers in the 101st Airbourne Division.  All that are left of the one hundred and forty odd who parachuted in the day before D-Day are four men, and when they are sent to check out a building that might be usable as a base for the local US army, they find a virtual palace and spend two days living it up while the story is interpersed with pages showing how so many of their comrades met their deaths.

At a US army camp a Sergeant Brewer us sent with his remnants, More Liefeld and Engstrom, who are all that are left of who jumped in before Normandy, to investigate a nearby German country house called Grafrau, which should make a good headquarters for the soon to arrive General Bleddings.

After failing to get more food supplies, Brewer and his men set off.  On the way they nearly crash into a German officer fleeing in the opposite direction.  His car overturns and the Americans take him prisoner.  They arrive a Grafau to be greeted by a veritable palace. They check inside and find, food, treasure and lots and lots of wine.

Nice house.

They question the German and he says the place was used by High Command to stash loot.  He has arranged that if things went bad, he would meet his friend here and they'd take the stuff and leave.  But he is all that left so he took what he could and fled, hoping to get to Switzerland. "So near and yet so far" says Brewer laconically.

Brewer immediately decides they will spend a couple of days there.  He says they'll pretend they lost the jeep and shoots it's radio out for good measure.  They imprison the German, who is called Marcus Lench in the wine cellar and start cooking up some decent food.  Liebfield wants to smuggle out some of the treasure but his friends point out he'd have nowhere to hide it and no way of moving it.  They should just live like kings for two days and then go back to the war thankful for the break they had.

A brief taste of the good life.

Liebfeld keeps at it, saying luck like this doesn't come along more than once in a lifetime.

Brewer: "Sure it does.  You been with Easy of the six fifty fifth all the way from Normandy to here.  You ain't been wounded and you ain't been crippled.  You're the luckiest man on earth."

Liefeld gets the point.  They keep on boozing and Moore spots through a telescope a comely German wench.  He goes and introduces himself as the "official... army of occupation" at the big house.  She says her name is Heidi and she has three friends who would like to meet them.  They all return to Grafau and sexy times ensue.

Brewer: "Moore my friend.  I am gonna recommend you for promotion to General."

Down in the cellar Marcus is incredibly distressed at how they are treating the wine.  "We have been conquered by barbarians" he mutters as they open yet another bottle that should have been left to mature.  Liebfeld and Moore get an idea about the vintage cars outside which they manage to crash in a race against each other.

A little of Ennis's more slapstick humour gets a look in.

Brewer is in the bath with Heidi who is happy they are not Russians.  Then one of the men shouts up that they bet Engstrom he wouldn't run across the field naked, but he is actually doing it.  However it's a minefield and to add to his problems as he tries to get out is a large bull.  But the bull steps on a mine and is blasted to bits.  The others contemplate a barbecue.

Later that night, Moore finds Brewer alone in the kitchen.  He notes that Brewer looks beat.

Brewer: "I don't mind the war.  But I hate the fucking army, Tommy."

He hates all the petty rules and regulations.  He hates the officers who treat them like garbage.  He hates the fact the likes of General Bleddings "ain't shy about spending lives" but come nowhere near to risking their own.

He reflects on how they are the last remnants of the original Easy company and he remembers the deaths and injruies of all one hundred and thirty six they have lost.  He asks Moore why he joined the Airbourne.  More says because he wanted to be with the best and with people he could depend on.  Brewer says before the way he worked at a timber yard and spent most of his time "solving peoples stupid fucking problems."  And now in the military he is doing the same thing.

Brewer: "Because it's sergeants run the army.  Generals give the orders, but sergeants keep the fucking thing going."

His reverie is interrupted by the others coming in with the women.  Liefeld says he's going to get married.  Next day Moore wakes them up in a panic.  The general and his men have arrived early.  Brewer tells Heidi to take the other girls and slip out back when they can.

Sergeant Brewer has had enough.

Outside Brewer claims full responsibility for everything that happened.  The general chews Brewer out, asking him what gave him the right to ignore the authority of the military.

Brewer: "General, I don't think I can tell you anything. So why don't you stick your authority up your ass?"

Which brings this story to an end.  It's an interesting tale, the almost comedic antics of the men partying juxtaposed with the deaths of all their comrades keeps the story grounded in seriousness as well as showing just why they wanted to let of steam when given the opportunity.  Sergent Brewer also acts as a mouthpiece to Ennis's common military theme, that it's the common soldier that should be celebrated not the men who send them to their deaths from the comfort of a well defended base.

NIGHTINGALE -  This is a story about the British destroyer the Nightingale.  Operating in the Artic area protecting convoys to Russia David Lloyds's moody artwork suits the dark nature of the story perfectly.  You can almost feel the cold emnating from the pages.  The story begins with the thoughts of a dying crew member reflecting on how the Nightingale came to be sunk, so immediately we know that the ship and her crew are the dead walking as the story plays out in flashback.  The narrator is the ships Number One.

Narrator: "The sun was shining brightly on the day that I died.  It blazed from the heavens.  It sang from the skies. One a day the world seemed born again, H.M.S Nightingale met her end."

Stunning image of the Nightingale.

We then flashback to the Nightingale escorting merchant ships with supplies for the starving Russians.  There are many other ships protecting them too.  Christmas dawns as the crew keep busy breaking the ice forming on the decks.

The narrator notes that the Nightingale had kept them safe so far and "of course we loved her.  She was ours."

The convoy fends off a German U-boat attack, but later one of the other destroyers is sunk and another torpedoed.  The narrator notes that he "loathed the U-boats".

Narrator: "It was war.  They had a job to do.  The men who crewed them were in possession of bravery beyond description.  But still I despised them."

After a pitched battle, a U-boat surfaces and the Nightingale blasts it to pieces before i can fire on them.  They go on about their duties and "at six o'clock the gates of hell swung open."

A message is sent out to each ship in the convoy that they are to disperse.  A super U-boat called "The Tirpitz" is thought to be out and by scattering the convey they stand the most chance of getting the majority to the Russian ports.  The Nightingale is tasked with joining the cruiser squadron and it's job is to hunt the Tirpitz.

The massacre starts and they can do nothing about it.

So the normal U-boats start torpedoing the ships.  In the morning the German airforce join in.  So many boats are sunk.  Frustrated beyond all measure the captain of the Nightingale says:

Captain: "I'd have fought the bloody Tirpitz.  I'd have sunk her with torpedoes.  I'd have rammed the bitch before I let her touch those ships."

The narrator comforts the youthful Number Two who is crying.  The narrator says there was nothing they could do.  Number Two says "what d'you mean?  We're the Royal Navy...!"

When the Nightingale finally reaches port back in Glasgow they are told that the Tirpitz never put to sea.  It was a panicked decision and it ended up destroying relations between the Navy and the Nightingale in particular and the merchant seamen.  With morale gone to hell a man is killed on board when a steel cable snaps and bisects him.  The captain took full responsibility but on his two weeks leave "the kid" went home and hanged himself.

The narrator himself, also on leave has nightmares and when he returns to duty he finds the Nightingale's crew being shunned, not as cowards "but as the damned."  They join another convoy in the Mediterranean, harried by Stukas all the way to Malta.

Another ship is bombed and the Nightingale is goven orders to rescue the crew.  The tanker is vaporised and the sea set ablaze but there are still men in the water to save.  The Nightingale goes through the flames, "a tacit understanding.  A debt to be paid."  Things seem to be going well, but the narrator wonders if "some debts can only be paid in blood."

A huge Italian cruiser appears on the horizon.  They can't let it sneak up on the convoy's now unprotected flank.  It opens fire on them and the captain is badly wounded.  He orders them to retaliate.  They chase down the cruiser and fire at it, the men still in the water cheer them on, "that shout redeemed us.  I took it to my grave."

They keep chasing the cruiser and firing on it.  It turns away from the convoy and they briefly celebrate scaring off a ship twice their size.  Then the Nightingale is blasted to smithereens.  "All debts paid" muses the narrator as he drowns, briefly he wonders if he'll survive, "but it was not to be" and he dies sinking under what is left of the Nightingale.

Death of the Nightingale

This is definitely the darkest tale in the book.  The doom laden atmosphere brought forth by Lloyds thick dark linework.  He also captures beautifully the slow inevitability of the loss of the Nightingale as written by Ennis. Sea battles by their nature are slower and more ponderous than battles in the air or on dry land but Lloyd portrays them excitingly and Ennis captures the superstitious nature of sailors and the desperate need to pay for a sin that was not of their making extremely effectively.

Overall this is a wonderful set of stories.  This is Ennis at his most passionate, proving he is not just about comedy sodomy, sociopaths and buckets of foul language. He emphasises the bonds that form between men in the military, even the Germans have those same bonds. There are notes at the back of the collected volume describing some of the research he did and a bibliography of further reading for those interested.  The artists are all working at the top of their respective games and knowing Ennis he'd have made sure all the hardware and uniforms were drawn correctly so the whole thing has a powerful feeling of verisimilitude.  There are four more in this series, collected in a second volume and this led to his more story led war series Battlefields.  I shall be covering both in the months to come, but for now this is a superb set of storys that I think would appeal to anyone not usually taken by Ennis's style, that humanises the war without taking away the bravery and heroism of those that fought. Excellent stuff.

Gotham Academy Book 1: Welcome To Gotham Academy (#1-6)

"I don't know where I'm going to end up, but right now, this is where I belong" - Olive Silverlock

So.. my last post got a bit aggrieved and ranty towards DC and the New 52, I shall not apologise for that but maybe it wasn't fun to read.  It certainly wasn't fun to write, I prefer to accentuate the positive.  I'm a hugely loyal person and my loyalty to DC had been sorely tested since The New 52 began with so little of worth either coming out of it or sticking around when it did.  But this book has restored my faith in the company.  It feels like DC tracked me down personally and said "sorry, maybe you'll like this a little better" and thrust it into my hands. Then DC stroked my hair and left me to read it in one sitting. I wasn't sure what to expect but what I got was a hugely enjoyable blend of the best elements of manga influenced western comic art set in the most vibrant of DC's various locales, The Batverse. Gorgeously written by Becky Cloonan and Brendan Fletcher and beautifully illustrated by Karl Kerschl, in six issues it gives us a fantastic cast of characters and oodles of potential for cool adventures and character revelations still to come.  Although it began under The New 52, that label is noticably missing from the trade paperback's cover.  It feels far more in tune with the post-Convergence freshness of the DCYou and I wonder if the success of this and the relaunched Batgirl were big factors in taking bigger risks with the tone of their properties. Set in the boarding school which gives the series its name, it is an appropriately gothic inspired setting for the various mysteries that our main characters investigate, all the while as principal character Olive tries to remember what happened to her the previous summer that had such a dramatic effect on her personality and why she hates Batman so much.  Let's begin.

It's a dark and stormy evening.  Sat inside a darkened room are Olive Silverlock, a white haired and moody girl.  And Mia "Maps" Mizoguchi the sister of Olive's sortof ex boyfriend Kyle, she is a bundle of unfettered joy and geekery.  They are meeting with the Headmaster Hammer, the tells Maps that because she missed orientation she is likely not aware "all first year students are assigned a 'nanny' to help them acclimatise to campus life."

Headmaster Hammer, with Maps and Olive.

Olive is to be Map's nanny and he tells her to show her round the grounds later, but to avoid the closed and "structurally unsound" North Hall.  As Olive and Maps return to the classrooms, Olive thinks about how trapped she feels, "stuck with people who don't understand me and don't like me."  She alludes to something that happened during summer but does elaborate, only that it is part of what is keeping he there.

Olive bumps into a snooty girl called Pommeline Fritch who snobbily takes a verbal swipe at Olive being there on a Wayne Foundation scholarship.  Olive then attends her first class, The History Of Gotham 201.  They are set the book "The Diary of Millie Jane Cobblepot" to read.  Olive reflects that she has practically memorised the book because Millie Jane didn't fit in either.  A boy called Colton Rivera throws a paper shuriken at her head, "this is my life." thinks Olive.

Colton (left), Pommeline (right)

Later at lunch Olive reflects that the whole school is talking about rumours that the place is haunted.

Olive: "If there is a ghost at the academy, I'd trade places with it in a second.  What I wouldn't give to just disappear."

Maps is confused as to why Olive isn't sitting with her and Kyle at lunch, but Olive blows her off.  She then sneaks up on and surprises Colton making him drop the fireworks he has, getting him into trouble and them confiscated.  Back in her shared dorm room, she moodily stares into the mirror until her roomate snaps, "I liked you better last year when you were normal."

Olive then returns to Maps and asks if she would like to skip assembly and check out the creepy parts of the old chapel instead.  Maps grins.  Once inside they decide to climb to the belfry with Maps chattering away as to how this is similar to an rpg scenario she once oversaw.  When it looks like they can't get further up the stairs she reveals she has a grappling hook and rope in her bag.

They don't need it yet and reach the roof.  Outside the Bat signal is shining, "Ugh. I hate that thing" says Olive.  The big bell then rings and in surprise Maps falls off the roof and ends up hanging off a gargoyle.  Olive uses the grappling hook and rope to hang down and get her, then they get swarmed by bats and rappel further down ending up hanging outside a window which Bruce Wayne is giving a talk to the school in front of much to the rest of the school's amusement.

Maps and Olive crash the lecture.

They are bought inside and when Bruce Wayne comes towards her she cries out:

Olive: "No! No! Get away from me!  You're not taking me too!"

The history teacher calms her down and Olive is not sure why she reacted like that.  She returns to her dorm later, feeling a little better about the place and finds her roomate Lucy terrified because she thinks the ghost is spying on her.  Olive promises she will stay all night with her, no extra-curricular exploration for now.

The next chapter begins with Olive reading Millie Jane's diary again.  She hears a thud and scratches from behind the wall, but before she can investigate further the room is lit up by light from the Bat signal.  As she looks out of the window she sees several hooded figures scurrying across the grounds.

Next day before class begins, Olive sees Pommeline kissing a boy called Heathcliff saying "shhh, our secrets remember."  Annoyed by her staring, Pommeline confronts Olive saying she's heard all about her and the summer break, "I bet you love all the attention..."  She is cut-off by their History professor coming it, who "volunteers" Pommeline and Olive to work on the same history project together. "I think there's a lot you girls can learn from each other" she says.

Pommeline is up to something...

Later at lunch, Olive ignores Map's calling for her to sit with her and Kyle.  Instead she asks a creepy boy if she can sit with him.  She sees he is sketching a portrait of Maps.  Kyle comes up and asks to talk with her privately, but she says she has to go and meet Pommeline in the library.  Maps asks the creepy boy, "can you sketch my Serpents and Spells character?"

In the library the librarian tells them a certain book may come in handy and Olive is sent to find it.  As she searches she comes across a handsome, blonde haired boy with red eyes who startles her.  She collects herself and finds the book.  It's another copy of The Diary Of Millie Jane Cobblepot.  But this edition has lots of handwritten diagrams, maps and symbols on it.  Pommeline takes the book saying Olive has no idea what it means, then takes a shot at Olive's mum being "crazy" and leaves.

The handsome and mysterious boy.

In her chemistry class, Olive is distracted:

Olive: "Ugh.  What's wrong with me?  If I'm not crazy, why do I have a giant blank spot in my head where this summer should be?"

Colton pranks her again and she leaves to go to the tennis courts where she used to watch Kyle play.  She bumps into her History professor who is sneaking a cigarette.  They chat for a bit and Olive confesses she doesn't feel like the same person she was before summer and that has affected how she feels about Kyle.

The returns to her dorm room and find Maps there, who is investigating the noises behind the wall.  She's temporarily swapped with Lucy who is too frightened to stay in the room.  Before Maps can take a hammer to the wall, Olive hears something outside.

Mere walls cannot stop Maps.

They sneak out and follow the sound of eerie chanting through the graveyard.  They find a huge tree and an underground entrance.  Inside are three cultists performing a ritual.  At first she is scared, but then she sees The Diary Of Millie Jane on a shelf nearby and realises the cultists are Pommeline and friends.

She stomps over and grabs the book, Pommeline shouts at her, "Get your hands off that! Get out! You'll ruin everything."  But Olive turns and fire rises up and swirls around her and she says:

Olive: "You have no idea who you're dealing with."

Olive gets scary.

The next chapter jumps forwards in time.  Olive is telling Colton that she has in detention because she went to retrieve a rare book.  She wants to know why he is suddenly so interested in her, he says it's because "last year you were such a drip."  He wants her to act as lookout for when he steals his confiscated stuff back.  Before they can go further they here a loud scream.  Olive runs out and finds it was from Lucy who has seen Millie Jane's ghost which they catch a glimpse of outside.

Pommeline says she summoned her, and had been trying to banish her as well.  Pommeline grudgingly admits Olive might be trustworthy having done a weeks detention and not snitched on her.  They discuss Millie Jane's relationship with the closed North Hall and Pommeline wonders if she summoned the wrong ghost and who is actualy buried in Millie Jane's grave.  Heathcliff comes up and mocks her gently and Pommeline leaves in a huff.

Olive asks why Heathcliff is involved in Pommeline's secret society, The Order Of The Bat.  He says he wants her to like him he guesses.  Kyle comes up and says he and Olive need to talk, so they go somewhere private for a chat.  He wants to know why he didn't contact her all summer. Olive admits it was because of her mum, "she's been in a .. kind of...hospital. She's sick.  And this summer the hospital collapsed."  Now her mum is in a coma and the doctors don't think she'll ever wake up.  Kyle says he'll give her all the space she needs, she can break his heart, "just don't break Maps's heart too."

Kyle, the most understanding boyfriend ever.

Later Maps appears loaded down with snacks saying her and Olive are going to have a ghost hunting stakeout.  In a small tent she has erected on the roof she goes through the various sightings.  Olive says there is something up at the North Hall, "they're hiding something" she muses.  Through her binoculars she spies the blonde, red eyed boy again.  Then she spots two glowing eyes through a window in the North Hall.

Realising they need help to get inside there she invites Colton to come along and Pommeline joins as well.  Colton picks the lock on the North Hall front door and they venture inside. Olive thinks, "I've been here before and I wasn't alone".  Suddenly she thinks they should leave, but Pommeline drags her in deeper.  They find a huge hole in the floor and Olive reaches inside, then a huge green hand suddenly pokes up through the hole and Maps yells "run!" in fear.

The monster in the hole.

Next day during sports, a still freaked out Olive and Pommeline reflect that it definitely wasn't Millie Jane's ghost they saw.  Also the North Hall has been taped off, they know someone broke in just not who.  Olive is then called before the headmaster.  As she waits she overhears Bruce Wayne and her history teacher Macpherson discussing her but before she can hear much she spots the same odd symbol Maps saw before, there in the waiting room as well and the Headmaster appears behind her.

He asks if she knows about the break in at the North Hall, she mumbles she doesn't and she's seen the tape, she'll stay away. "Of course you will" says the Headmaster.  She leaves and as she walks down some steps she opens Millie Jane's diary and finds the odd symobol highlighted inside it.  Then she slips and the blonde haired boy catches her.  He says it isn't the first time he's caught her.  She asks if he means during summer, but he just leaves mysteriously.

Later as Olive and Maps discuss the odd symbol, Olive tries to tell her about the situation between her and Kyle.  But Maps just chunters on and says she saw the creepy boy drawing the symbol in the cafeteria, "Let's interrogate him!" she exclaims.  They track him down, finding out he's called Eric and confront him about the symbol.  He just squeaks and flees, shedding papers as he goes. "Secret papers!" says Maps.  They turn out to be pages from the script of Macbeth.

Creepy Eric.

They go and watch the rehearsal but Eric isn't there.  Olive thinks it's a dead end, but the drama teacher appears and tells them they have a "gifted craftsman at work in the props room".  They find Eric there and he finally admits he saw the symbol in the girls dorm, he blurts out, "I didn't move any stones!"

We then cut to Maps and Olive planning another nights exploration.  Suddenly they see the "ghost" of Millie jane outside the window.  Olive smashes the window and grabs the ghost and discovers it's a fake.  She goes up to the roof and finds Heathcliff and another boy there doing the fakery.  Heathcliff admits he did it to make Pommeline happy, so Olive promises not to tell her.  She then asks him about the blonde haired boy, and Healthcliff says he is an exchange student called Tristan.

As she walks back through the girls dorm, she over hears Pommeline arguing with her mother on the phone about her occult interests.  Olive finds the symbol and it leads to a series of passageways behind the walls.  She investigates further and finds herself behind her dorm room wall, she calls to Maps through the crack who is eager to come and help her.  Olive explores further and suddenly she bumps into Killer Croc, huge and green and still in his Arkham Asylum uniform.  Pommeline says she won't tell anyone why he is here, but she thinks he knows about her mum and she needs him to tell her.

The "ghost" revealed.

She shows him a photo of her mother, "Sybil Silverlock.  My mother.  You were in Arkham Asylum with her."  Croc says he was in the cell over from her, she gave him the photo before the place collapsed and he promised to look out for Olive.  As they talk they hear Maps yelling "I'm looooost in the walls.  It's amaaaaaazing!".  Frightened, Croc runs off.  Maps bursts onto the scene and says:

Maps: "Crap!  You won't believe this.  I saw a lizard man! Lots of hit points but never drop anything good."

I love her.  She asks if Croc is "friend or foe".  Friend decides Olive and they follow him deeper into the tunnels.  She muses that all the ghost really was was an escaped Arkham Asylum inmate.  They reach a room with multiple doors and the mysterious symbol carved into the floor.  Maps consults the diary and uses a compass to ascertain the right direction, but when they travel down it, Croc has blocked the way.  The tunnel leads directly to the North Hall. Olive slumps saying she'll never find out more from Croc, but Maps says she has friends who can help.

Maps: "We're all in this together."

She and Maps return to Olive's dorm room where they find Lucy trying on her dress for the dance which is up coming.  She has heard Olive has a thing for Tristan the blonde haired exchange student and that it's "Splits for you and Kyle."  Olive protests it's no such thing, but Maps leaves abruptly saying to be at her room tommorrow at nineteen hundred hours.

Secret plans are planned.

We cut to the meeting. Colton and Pommeline are there as well. They have a map of the North Hall spread out and Maps thinks there is another way in but they need Colton's bag of tricks.  They plan to go there under cover of the dance.  Kyle appears to see Maps and Olive blurts out an invite to the dance with him.  We then cut to it, Maps is in a tuxedo because she is her roomate Katherine's "date" because Katherine couldn't find anyone to go with.  Maps is so damn sweet.

All four of them manage to sneak away and convene outside the headmasters study.  There is a riddle lock on the door, but Maps unlocks it, "what?  I'm good with puzzles."  They retrieve Colton's stuff and rummage through the rest of the confiscated things.  Maps hands Olive a crossbow for protection and off they go to the North Hall.

On the way, Olive is startled by a giant batlike shape flying overhead.  She fires an arrow at it and brings it down.  Horrified by what she might have done she breaks from the others and goes to investigate.  It is Tristan, he is winged and half batlike, he has the Manbat "Langstrom Virus".  Luckily Olive hasn't badly hurt him.

Tristan's illness revealed.

He says his condition is why he is at the school.  He says he saw her last summer walking to the North Hall in a daze.  By the time he got down to her she was inside and "all hell had broken loose."  She was sleepwalking through the fire, which wasn't touching her, but the flames were angry and alive.  When the floor broke underneath her he swooped in and caught her and pulled her out of the place and took her to the infirmary where MacPherson asked him to keep an eye on her for the foreseeable future.

Maps then appears and hugs Olive as Tristan flies off.  Using Colton's explosives and an underground passageway they blast there way into the North Hall where Croc is hiding.  Olive tells him not to run and that they have bought him food. They all sit down together, but before Croc can tell Olive what she needs to hear about her mum, Batman appears. Uh oh.

Batman vs. Killer Croc.

As Croc and Batman fight, Olive watches in a trance.  The others start to run away, but Olive's eyes light up and she sets off the firecrackers in Colton's bag.  This starts a bigger fire.  Olive yells at Batman to "stay way from him! Haven't you already done enough?"  A beam falls and Croc dives on Olive protecting her, then he scoops her up and heads for the tunnel.  The others scarper, Colton yells they'll meet in the girls dorm later.

Down in the depths of the tunnels Croc tells Olive about her mum.  How she had another side to her who "wasn't always so nice."  He says he didn't really belong in the Asylum and neither did her mum.  She was the one who told him about the tunnels under the school.

Croc: "When she looked at me, she didn't see a monster.  And she never stopped loving you."

Olive thanks him.  He says he swore to protect her "but now look what happened."  Olive says she'll be OK and he agrees her friends seem trustworthy.  He starts to swim away and Olive says she hopes they can meet again some day.  Croc says she has a little of her mother's fire, and then he is gone.

A sweet moment between Croc and Olive.

Back on the surface, Maps fully glomps her.  Pommeline then reminds her they have their report on Millie Jane Cobblepot to do for tommorrow.  As she heads back to her dorm room alone, she thinks that she has changed, but "through it all I have to remember who I am". Batman then confronts Olive.  She lashes out at him verbally saying he destroyed her life, "you destroy everything!"

He says both Croc and her mother belonged in Arkham Asylum, "It was the only way."  Gotham needed protection from her, "One day you will understand" he says, then he asks for the special Diary of Millie Jane Cobblepot.  Olive sulkily says she doesn't have it.  When she turns to face him, he's gone.

Next day Pommeline and Olive present their report, somewhat slanted by recent events.  Later at lunch Pommeline laments the fact they only got a C+ for it.  Kyle comes up and tells Olive he knows she was in the North Hall and she can trust him to be there for her when stuff happens.

Then Colton comes up and shows off his A grade.  Maps suddenly realises the mystery symbol is two inverted "A's" joined together, which must mean Arkham Asylum and the Academy have more links than they realise.  Maps decides to create a "Detectives Club" made up of her, Olive, Pommeline, Colton and Kyle to investigate and Olive agrees it's a great idea.  She finally feels that she belongs.  The last three pages detail Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne's son and the current Robin breaking in and stealing back the diary.  He gives it to his dad in the headmaster's office and the head welcomes him to Gotham Academy. 

The new club, left to right, Pommeline, Kyle, Maps, Olive and Colton.

Wonderful stuff.  Crammed with incident and fantastic character work and with mystery aplenty still to come this still wraps up nicely as a six issue introductory storyline.  I like that Pommeline is part of the gang.  The Queen Bee nemesis stuff can be a little tired so having her come over to the side of the main character is nice, though hopefully she'll still snark at Olive when Olive gets too self absorbed.  I did like the use of Killer Croc here, as I like it when Batman's rogues gallery gets some nuance to it.  Having him agree to watch over Olive was incredibly sweet and it's interesting how this series has so far framed Batman as an brutish, insensitive thug.  So how fantastic that Damian Wayne is going to start attending the school as Batman's eyes and ears within the place.  I have a great fondness for the arrogant little prick and I bet he'll be a major spanner in the works. Although this is Olive's story, uber nerdy Maps still steals every scene she is in, if the difference between the DCYou and The New 52 can be summed up by one thing, it's that a hyperactive, goofy and unrelentingly positive character like Maps can now star in a book.  This is excellent by the way.  I can't say enough good things about the writing and the art, both are really fantastic as I hope you can see.  Really the only bad thing about this series so far is that I have to wait until March for the next volume!

Demon Knights Book 3: The Gathering Storm (#13-23)

"A storm is coming" - Arthur Pendragon

I think it's fair to say I have been incredibly disappointed by Demon Knights,  one of the first US comics I followed was Swamp Thing under Alan Moore and he understood that Etrigan wasn't a stupid thug and that Jason Blood wasn't an annoying little piss-weasel.  Really, if you want Etrigan action, don't buy Demon Knights buy the Alan Moore Swamp Thing run from all good comic shops now for the ultimate Etrigan/Jason Blood appearances.  Or check out their appearances in Garth Ennis's Hitman series for a different but also awesome take on the pair.  And if for some reason you're interested in the rest of the characters I'm confused as to why.  I have some residual affection for Sir Ystin from Grant Morrison's Seven Soldiers series but the rest of the characters are so thin and one dimensional that it's hard to care about them. In fact I don't care about them. At all. Anyway here's the final collected volume of their so-called Exciting Adventures.  It's eleven issues, I was going to split this into two posts but then decided that no, like drinking a capful of Night Nurse, it would be better to hold my nose and power on through to the end of the run in one go.  Anyway, previously on Demon Knights, Etrigan threw a bitch fit and sent his comrades, Sir Ystin, Madam Xanadu, Al Jabr, Vandal Savage, The Horsewoman and Exoristos to hell along with the non-mouldering corpse of Merlin and their horses after his amazing plan to gift Avalon to Lucifer or something failed.  We join our not so merry band in a Hell of Mild Inconvenience as they are somewhat put out by being briefly trapped in their slightly unpleasant daydreams. It really looks like the worst afterlife ever. No really.

Jason Blood is the only one left on the mortal plane, Lucifer having given Etrigan a temporary respite from his curse.  Etrigan bows before Lucifer saying they are his offering, Lucifer is all "you promised me Avalon".  Etrigan says he will get it, Lucifer puts him down saying his plans have worked soooo well in the past.  He had hoped Etrigan would be plotting something that would allow him to crush him again.  Lucifer also wants to know why the horses are here as well, Hell isn't known for its stabling facilties.  He says Etrigan has one day to implement his plan or else.

Meanwhile the others are being "tormented".  Sir Ystin's Hell is being forced to admit a gender preference, as if he doesn't have to put up with that all the time in the non-afterlife.  Al Jabr is not being tortured just confused as to why he, a good Muslim, should be in the Christian Hell with only booze to drink.  A potentially interesting plot thread not picked up upon of course.

Even Lucifer is put out by Hell's lack of imagination.

Vandal Savage is being hung upside down and poked with sticks by the souls of his damned children, he literally laughs in their faces so unthreatening they are.  The Horsewoman is reliving the day she lost her legs and parents in a horse stampede.  Exoristos is chained within feet of Paradise Island and Lucifer comes to her saying he needs a person who has an issue with the people of the earth and hands her a black diamond, which forms part of one of the four billion crossovers going on in the Nu52 at that point, "The Black Diamond Probability".

Madame Xanadu has been transformed into an obedient little wife for Etrigan although he is too stupid to see she is just acting for his benefit.  Anyway Sir Ystin quickly escapes his "torment" because he has drunk from the Holy Grail, and sets about rescuing the others.  The denizens of Hell don't seem to care.  Back in the mortal world, Jason Blood is about to commit suicide when he is found by The Questing Queen from book one.

Etrigan and Xanadu as a sitcom couple.

To derail slightly for a moment and sorry to keep harping on, but in Alan Moore's Swamp Thing run Swamp Thing has to go to the DCU Hell to retreive the soul of Abby, unjustly cast down there by her evil uncle Anton Arcane.  He comes across an immobilised Arcane full of rot, filth and maggots who asks Swampy how many years he has been there.  When Swampy replies with the devastating "Since yesterday" and Anton screams in horror at what this means and the eternity of suffering that awaits him still, it remains once of the most powerful and affecting visions of the Christian Hell I have read since The Inferno cantica of The Divine Comedy.  I can only assume the constant cosmic retcons in the DCU have weakened its Hell into something easily tolerated and easy to stroll out of. Feh.

The Questing Queen offers to help Jason to get into Hell without killing himself.  He is told they are after the Holy Grail and Etrigan is the most likely person to find it.  They plan to get ahold of Etrigan and Jason can see Madam Xanadu again.  She in turn is playing the meek, submissive wife to Etirgan who doesn't like it, so he says "I now return your magic" and leaves her to "do whatever course you see fit."

Meanwhile off panel, Sir Ystin has rescued the others without much of a problem.  Etrigan confronts them saying he will return them to their torments (ooh scary).  Sir Ystin decides to battle Etrigan as he has had it coming for a while now.

Sir Ystin about to let loose on Etrigan.

On earth, Jason is sent to Hell using the Questing Queen's wizard's magicks.  Etrigan is pulled out of Hell in return.  Jason is conviniently dropped into Hell alongside his companions.  Xanadu meanwhile has gone to Merlin's coprse which was transported there along with a handy communication sphere she is going to use to open a portal to Avalon.  Held in a magick prison, Etrigan is interrogated by the Questing Queen.  He says he knows what Madam Xanadu will be doing, and when the portal opens to Avalon...

The action cuts to Lucifer monitoring this conversation and he concludes Etrigan's plan, which will be to allow Lucifer and the Legions of the Damned into Avalon and he will be rewarded.  Lucifer shrugs and says it's an interesting plan I guess and matches what he wants which is to let Exoristos out of Hell with the Black Diamond.

Lucifer: "Legions of Hell - today we conquer a new land of the dead!  Which is very exciting.  I suppose".

UGH.  I hate this kind of snarky aside, it totally undermines the gravitas and threat of a character and when everyone is doing it like in this Paul Cornell penned run of issues it just makes everyone sound the same, boringly Joss Whedonesque flippant.

Xanadu is reunited with Jason and opens the portal to Avalon while the Legions of Hell amass.  The others appear with the horses and Exoristos clumsily asks Sir Ystin if he'd like to travel with her.  Sir Ystin says he believes Exoristos loves only a part of him, the female part and she/he is both male and female, and could Exoristos live with that?

They all go through the portal, but it doesn't close behind them.  In front of them appear "The Silent Knights", the defenders of Avalon.  Close behind them are the Legions of Hell and also appearing thanks to Etrigan's link to Jason are the forces of the Questing Queen.  Time for a massive rumble I think.

A storm over Avalon.

A big threeway fight kicks off.  Xanadu flies the gang up and out of the way and onto a nearby hill.  Etrigan uses the magic fire breath of one of the Questing Queen's army machines to break his magic manacles and prostrates himself before Lucifer.  Who is pissed because he believes Etrigan led the Questing Queen's forces there to wipe out Lucifer's.  This accusation flummoxes Etrigan and he finally gains some self respect and flies off saying "he will never again serve anyone."  About damn time Etrigan.

The dead Merlin starts to revive and sends out a message that summons "the forces of King Arthur Pendragon".  That's handy.  They wade into the fight as well.  Merlin then summons a rainstorm over the battlefield as he has fully come to life (off-panel! why didn't we get to see it? Sequential FAIL). Exoristos agitates to get back to the mortal realm, and Xanadu notes "something's changed about you".

As it rains, the hill they are on comes under attack so they fight while quippty, quip, quip, quipping. Etrigan confronts Merlin and tries to kill him to seek his revenge while telling Xanadu this was his plan all along to get her out of Hell.

Merlin: "You're making that up.  You actually feel guilty!".

Real Etrigans NEVER feel guilty.  His character assassination continues, sigh.  Merlin zaps Etrigan and himself with lightning then reminds everyone what the water of Avalon does.  It starts melting all the demons and even affects Lucifer himself.  It also cleanses the Questing Queen's forces of their enchantments so they beat a hasty retreat.  Lucifer also withdraws saying "hmmph, at least this has been diverting".

Merlin reborn.

With all the baddies gone.  Merlin is consumed by light and rejuvanates into a younger form as he ages backwards.  Arthur officially knights Sir Ystin.  Merlin calls the gang "my Stormwatch" tying them to the present day DCU comic of the same name though as they continue calling themselves the Demon Knights it feels a somewhat pointless inclusion.

Merlin then binds Jason and Etrigan back together saying they still have a destiny to fulfil.  Then they leave Avalon via a portal back to the mortal world.  The group decide to separate.  Jason and Xanadu will go off together.  Exoristos plans to go alone due to the influence of the Black Diamond, but Sir Ystin decides to go with her.  The Horsewoman says they are fools for splitting up, "to be offered hope - a destiny - and deny it immediately".  And she rides off rather hypocritically.  And that brings this arc and Paul Cornell's tenure on the title to an end.  Is it over, can I come home mum?  Gah no there is still eight more issues to go, with Robert Venditti taking over writing chores for the rest of the run.

The action shifts to several decades in the future. The Horsewoman, who doesn't age if her soul is bonded to a horse is run down and captured by some bounty hunters who kill her horse.  She is taken to a city and thrown in jail, only to find Exoristos and Sir Ystin also in chains there, and they seem to have had a falling out in the past.

Then a counsel comes and frees them saying their capture and treatment was a mistake, the Caliph has been loking for them but didn't mean for them to be treated so brutally.  The Caliph turns out to be an elderly Al Jabr who has been hunting down the Demon Knights because there is a threat to the world he wants them to deal with.

The Horsewoman chased down by Bison Riders.

The threat turns out to be an army of vampires making their way across Europe led by a man called Cain (a link to the also cancelled series I, Vampire).  They have their minds set on reaching and vamping Themyscira much to Exoristos's distress so they need to find Jason Blood and Madame Xanadu as well.  Jason Blood is being held captive by Vandal Savage who has cast a mute spell on him and tortures him everyday while Etrigan sulks down in Hell, baited by Lucifer who mocks him for relinquishing his service to him.

Sir Ystin, Exoristos and The Horsewoman make ready to leave.  Al Jabr won't be coming as he is too old, so huh, they wrote out the one non-white member.  Great. The Horsewoman picks a new horse to ride called "Brickwedge", a stumpy service horse who she chose for his conversation over the snobby palace steeds.  And off they ride to Vandal Savage's castle.  There isn't really any reason given for why Savage is torturing Jason Blood, but Vandal Savage has and is always a dick so I can't be critical of this turn of events.

Ouch!

Exoristos enters Vandal Savage's castle, she says she is here to join his clan.  Vandal says she has to prove her worth, so they decide to arm wrestle:

Exoristos: "Haven't you ever wondered if you were man enough?"

Sir Ystin arrives in the cell area and kills the guards.  He unties Jason and is shocked to see his mouth sealed up.  Exoristos gets ready to wrestle with Vandal then she headbutts him viciously, sending him tumbling to the floor.

Sir Ystin throws Jason of the battlements and jumps after him and Vanguard his flying horse catches them both.  As Exoristos flees the castle, The Horsewoman mentally tells the enemy's horses not to follow them and they escape.

Sir Ystin and Vanguard to the rescue.

They keep riding until they find a cottage where Jason had marked the map with an "X".  It is where Madame Xanadu is and she attacks them before realising who they are.  Meanwhile the Bison Riders of the steppes are met by Cain and his vampire army.  He tears their leader to pieces before pressing on to Themyscira.

Madame Xanadu removes the mute spell upon Jason saying they had been apart for decades after he went to Alba Sarum on business. They hug, then Exoristos says "time is short... we need your stronger half.. or the whole of Europe is doomed".  Jason can't believe they want Etrigan after all the betrayals he put them through, but swaps places with him anyway.  Brickwedge thinks to The Horsewoman:

Brickwedge: "This one's a bit of a whiner."

He's now my favourite character.  They recieve a message delivered by falcon from Al Jabr saying "Cain has crossed the Danube."  After some bickering they race to Theyscira to find a battle already going on on a beach nearby with an advanced guard of vampires.

A somewhat underwhelmingly depicted battle.

They pile in and fight, one of the Amazons yells at Exoristos for being there, then tells them to pierce the heart and behead the monsters.  Finally they subdue the vampires and Etrigan tries to swap back with Jason to regain his strength.  But Jason refuses and keeps Etrigan on the mortal plane where his strength is ebbing.  In Hell Lucifer comes to query this but Jason tells him "why should I fear you?"  Why indeed?  This Hell you can have picnics in.

Exoristos helps her fellow Amazon shore up their defences.  She is told the Amazon helping Cain is called Fara who was Exoristos' friend and who left the island to come looking for her in order to try and get her exile lifted.  Meanwhile Vandal Savage's forces have crept up on them and noting Etrigan is out of action says "...this will be easier than I thought."

Cain.

Vandal approaches and goes to cut off Etrigan's head, wanting revenge for being sent to Hell. But when he is filled in on the vampire threat he still tries to kill the weakened Etrigan so Xanadu zaps him.  They build a boat to get to Themyscira where the vampires have already taken the beach.

The Amazons fall back to the city.  Their guide says the soldiers will wait all day for an attack, but of course they vampire will attack at night to gain full advantage.  Our gang, including Vandal Savage sail to Themyscira.  Sir Ystin has a vision of himself as a vampire and mutters, "is this what Merlin meant for me to do?"

In Hell Jason is being tortured by Lucifer but refuses to switch places with Etrigan.  Lucifer decides to look in and see what his friends are doing and when he realises they are fighting Cain and his vampire hordes, urges Jason to change.

The Amazons and the Vampires are fighting as the Demon Knights arrive and charge into the fray.  Sir Ystin approaches Cain saying he has forgotten his quest for so long.  Cain bites Sir Ystin saying he "looks forward to your undying loyalty."  Jason agrees to swap with Etrigan who says to Lucifer:

Etrigan: "You reek of fear.  When all the world is soulless and undying, there won't be much use for Hell."

Don't piss the Amazons off.

Lucifer returns Etrigan to full strength and he returns to the battlefield.  Combined the Amazons and the Demon Knights defeat the vampires.  Cain hovers above the battlefield saying he'll be back (he won't) before turning into several crows and flying off.  Exoristos goes to Sir Ystin who is fighting off the vamping.  Somehow being turned is part of his quest for the Holy Grail (*shrug* beats me), which Queen Hippolyta says she might know where it is.  With the end of this arc, Bernard Chang leaves as artist and instead we get Chad Hardin as penciller and Wayne Faucher as inker.  It's not an improvement.

In the Amazon city, Sir Ystin is fighting off the vampiric infection and being taken care of by Exoristos.  Hippolyta appears and rescinds Exoristos' exile.  But Ex says she was right to send her away, "I don't fit in with your drills and rules and codes of conduct".  She points to Sir Ystin and says "I know I belong with her." Then respect her pronouns you insensitive cow!

The others are scouring the Amazon library for clues to where the grail might be.  They find a possible location on the map and Sir Ystin appears and says he knows that is where it is.  He also asks for help as he can't do it alone.  The others agree and we cut to them on a boat getting ready to leave.  Vandal is coming too, he says no hard feelings to Jason who says he'll get his revenge when Vandal is out of earshot.

The magic island revealed.

After two days at sea, Xanadu's magic reveals a hidden island that many other ships had crashes into.  They disembark and immediately are attacked by a many tentacled hydra.  One tentacle grabs Madame Xanadu and Jason turns into Etrigan to save her.  The others get stuck in and finally Xanadu kills it with a powerful spell.  They find some glyphs on the wall and Xanadu says she knows what one of them means, "the Holy Grail".

Etrigan changes back to Jason so he can translate the glyphs.  According to them, crossing the threshold will take you to another place, reciting the glyphs will take you to the grail but it is a one way journey.  Sir Ystin says he'll go but Exoristos says he is too weak and it's time to let others serve.  After some bickering Vandal Savage and Jason go through and find themselves in a room full of treasure.

By the fire sit Sir Ystin and Exoristos.  Sir Ystin says he was told about "evil that would own my spirit... the loss of everyone I love".  Exoristos admits that the Black Diamond's influence made her angrier and angrier and that's why she split from Sir Ystin.  She has hidden the diamond and it's influence on her has waned.  She says she'll always be there for Sir Ystin and they kiss.

Of course the ramifications of this on Ystin's gender and Exoristos's sexuality is never explored.

Back with Vandal and Jason, they find the box holding the grail, they also find a huge door.  It opens and two giants appear. When they notice vandal and Jason they attack them.  Jason calls Etrigan and when he is down in Hell he uses the threat of the grail to get Lucifer to transport him back to the others.

Lucifer does so, and Etrigan vanishes leaving Vandal facing the giants alone.  Jason is reunited with the others and hands an overwhelmed Sir Ystin the box holding the grail.  When asked where Vandal is, Jason grins and over an image of Vandal's unconcious body says ".. he finally got what was coming to him."

Nice derp face, Ystin.

Chad Hardin takes over art duties in full.  It's.. enh.. OK. Vandal Savage is questioned by the giants about the Grail and where it has been taken.  Meanwhile the others have arrived in Al Jabr's city of Al-Wadi.  They find Al Jabr and present him with the Holy Grail although none of them have yet opened the box.

Al Jabr goes to open it himself, but Sir Ystin stops him saying the time is not right.  They are going to find Merlin and think the Grail will be safe with Al Jabr.  He is not sure, his people are getting restless and violent.

Later, outside the city, The Horsewoman and Brickwedge are just chilling out and chatting when they hear a rumbling sound.  It is an approaching army of giants who have Vandal Savage in a cage.  She goes to warn Al Jabr, while the giants outside demand the Grail back.

They fire a warning shot at the city and the shockwave knocks the Grail's box onto the floor and it opens.  Immediately plants start growing through the floor and attack them as its lifeforce runs out of control.  They stop almost right away though, The Horsewoman has returned the Grail to the box and can now stand up, her damaged spine has been healed.

The grail heals all.

Sir Ystin has also had the vampirism curse lifted from him and Exoristos hugs him with joy. She also admits that last time she was here she left something in a locked chest in the vault.  She entrusts the contents to Al Jabr, handing him a key.  Jason summons Etrigan and they ride out to take on the giants alongside Al Jabr's army.

As they fight what seems like a losing battle, suddenly several zeppelins appear and fire down on the giants.  Aboard one is Al Jabr who has acquired what Exoristos sent him to get - the Black Diamond.  He realises this is what was making his people so aggressive.

He tosses the Diamond down onto the battlefield and the giants start fighting amongst themselves.  Watching them from the walls of the city later as the last few finish each other off, Sir Ystin notes the irony of Lucifer's gift of the Black Diamond saving the Holy Grail.  Etrigan returns to Hell to tell him.  Vandal Savage has also escaped the battle and scarpered.

Exoristos says she will take the Diamond back and bear its burden, but Al Jabr shows them the Diamond and the Grail together cancelling each other out.  Together they will be safe in the secret chamber in Al-Wadi.  Sir Ystin says the Grail is hope and:

Sir Ystin: "Let those who try and take it know forever oposing them will be the Demon Knights".

The End (thankfully)

And that abruptly concludes the series. So what is there left to say?  What kills me about this series is that it came highly recommended.  I read so many people who had issues with the New 52 making an exception for Demon Knights.  And with a writer I previously was a fan of in Paul Cornell, how could it fail?  Well for me it failed hard.  Everyone was badly or negligently mischaracterised and often just going through the motions with no inner life to speak of.  After two years the only thing I had found out about The Horsewoman was that her name was Sarah. Think about what we had; a pagan witch, a Judeo-Christian demon, a lesbian who worships the Greek Pantheon, a Muslim scientist, a transman and a paraplegic.  That should have been the basis for some amazing character based interactions, but apart from some weak magic v.science stuff and some pronoun arguments regarding Sir Ystin there was a complete lack of any interpersonal spark such differences in background should have caused. The storylines were weak and grotesquely padded.  Plot points were badly set up and often dependant on important things happening off-panel.  Paul Cornell seems to work best in a contemporary and sci-fi setting, his delvings into British myth have always been a miss with me and this didn't change my mind on that. 

The series didn't improve with a new writer and apart from Bernard Chang's run of issues the art was very weak, and even he stumbled badly in his depiction of the DCU Hell.  This series had a ton of potential, and it was squandered at every turn.  If this was considered the best of the New 52 then it just proves my point that the New 52 was one of the worst things to happen to DC continuity and the few series that were good - Batwoman (at least the first half), Batman Inc, Frankenstein and Dial H - were the exception rather than the rule. Add in epic fails like handing control of three books to Rob Liefeld, the ruination of the Wildstorm universe's characters, the appalling lack of female creators and their terrible treatment of Gail Simone and the botched mess of attempting to run 52 comics within a tightly linked universe with crossover after crossover making the series read badly in their trade editions and it just has ended up being the worst few years to be a DC lifer since I started reading post-Crisis On Infinite Earths. Nevermind, it's over now, hooray for the DCYou.  Etrigan seems to have survived this debacle as he always does, but I fear the rest of the cast may not be lucky enough to have new and better writers champion them.  We shall see.  Summing up, Vic?

Can't say fairer than that.